||October 25, 2019 09:25 AM|
I promise all is not bad with my fiancee. But omg.
I was in between jobs between September and mid October. Finances were brought up as I was barely working 40 hours the entire month of September. I told him MANY times I would either be able to cover my insurance or half of my car payment. He said he could help with one but not both. I very distinctly remember saying I could jeopardize my insurance for a month so he doesn't have to help as much as we just moved so I know his bills were going to be a bit more than normal. He insisted that no it's fine and hed get my car payment.
So mid this month we were sitting in the office and he shows me how much he was over in bills vs how much he makes. Asked me to help as much as I could which was already a given. Then shows me how much he was over front the previous month. I asked if that included my car payment just got a simple no. Ok. Cool so I was figuring in an extra 330 with what he paid.
Now I'm getting paid quite a bit less than what I was due to the emergency shit I need to find a job. Whatever job. My old bosses were kind enough to bring me back on the team but my old position had literally just been filled a day or two before I'd gotten accepted back. When we were just moving out here and I was getting paid more the agreement was he had the mortgage and I'd pay for whatever food we needed in the month. Go halfsies on the phone bill. And I'd handle my own bills and he'd handle his. Well while sitting there trying to figure out how he suddenly had more debt than what he gets paid monthly. All of a sudden I have half of rent, food, all my bills and 75% of the phone bill as I guess his phone is paid off or was free but mine was not. So almost $2500 a month. On $10.50 an hour. Not including the gas to drive an hour back and forth. And not including any of the dogs expenses which I'm expected to pay for everything even though hes OUR dog. Which even at my old rate of 14 an hour I wouldn't be able to cover all hes now wanting me to cover.
THEN I get a letter from my bank handling my car loan. They're saying october wasn't paid. Ok so I ask fiancee what happened. Got "oh. (Looks at phone) huh. No it didnt. Weird." Then he rolls over and starts watch a show. Ok whatever I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. And I had no money at the moment to do anything about it.
So cue this morning. I wake up to him bombarding me with text messages pissed that the bank was calling him because of the missed payment. And I needed to get right on that and pay it ASAP. And how he never told me he was going to pay for it and how he kept asking me if I was good to get this payment. Just to the point where I almost feel like I need to treat him like one of my problem customers and write down everything we agree upon from here on out because of the difference in what he thinks we agree upon vs what is actually agreed upon.
There's more to add later but I'm gonna be late for work if I keep sitting here angry typing lol
||October 26, 2019 02:18 AM|
I think you guys need to sit down and really hammer out your finances and examine your debt because if you do get married, your bills and debt become his and vice versa. Tips on how to do that are a bit above my pay grade, but that was a big red flag to me that there isn't clear communication on that and that's important for you to be on the same page. I'd look into tips on that as a starting point, budgeting house expenses for couples.
The other reason I'm commenting on your thread is that I'm not sure if you can do this yet since you aren't married, but one thing that came to mind for me when you mentioned insurance is that you can often get a decent discount if you have all of your cars and house on one policy. If a wedding is imminent (like the date is very soon and no way it won't not happen) that may be worth exploring. I had two cars until recently and my discount was good enough with two on my plan that it was actually cheaper to have two cars on it vs. just one. So if you aren't bundling already you can likely save money if you do.
Good luck! Sorry that's not more helpful.