Horse Eden : Opening up

Hey guys so life has been really complicated lately, so I signed up for counseling. This was a few months ago. I found it very hard to open up share my feelings. I mean, I'm talking to a complete stranger, but she is really nice and of course she won't tell anyone else about what we talk about. But still I find it hard to talk. Before we end she always asks, "Is there anything you need to talk about?" And, honestly, there is. Every time there's something I need to talk about. But every time I say, "No. Not that I can think of." And I try not to lie as best as I can but this lie slips out every time. Anyways, I stopped going to counseling because I didn't feel like it was helping. Now I'm reconsidering because honestly I think it was helping. But we're tight on money and I didn't want to go and spend money on something that turned out not to be helping me after all.

Anyways, I was gonna ask, does anybody have tips on opening up to people?

Not just for counseling, for normal life too. My parents, my friends, I just can't talk about my feelings. I get... I don't know... embarassed? I feel like I shouldn't trouble them with my problems because they've got their own. But I know keeping that stuff inside is really unhealthy, and I need to let it out. That's why I write. But writing is different than talking out loud, to a real person, you know? It's not the same.

Sorry you guys, I keep going on rants. My question again: Does anybody have tips on opening up to people?

Also is anyone available for venting? I don't do it often, but it will help if someone is available.

Thank you so much for listening to me rant, have a great day!

Edited at April 4, 2025 12:19 AM by Fantasy Horses

Opening up

April 4, 2025 11:08 AM

Imperial Warmbloods

Posts: 1408
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As someone that let everything bottle up and brew over, leading to ruined relationships, I completely understand how it feels to not want to be vulnerable and open with others. In the end, however, it is healthy and best to share how you are feeling and what you are going through with those you are close with. The most important thing is to be open/vulnerable with the right people, not someone you feel like will take advantage of what you are sharing with them. Counselors are supposed to help you when it comes to stuff like this, its their job, after all. Regardless, I suggest starting with small things that you want to share before sharing more major and colossal bits of information. It can make you more comfortable in sharing in the long run.

About counseling, I say give it a try or two and reflect on how it is affecting you. I didn`t go to counseling until it was ``too late`` and I was already a mess, but it personally helped me a ton and I never expected it to. Based on my experience, they do give lots of good advice and it is helpful. It is up to you, however, if you take advantage of the counseling and actually do what they are telling you to do or else it will be pointless. Of course, it also depends on the advice.. sometimes it won`t work for you specifically.

And lastly, my PMs are always open for you if you need it, :)

Edited at April 4, 2025 11:10 AM by Imperial Warmbloods

Opening up

April 7, 2025 01:04 AM

Gem

Posts: 5125
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I really do understand what you're going through. I also spent a lot of time bottling things up before I found my outlet. I used to have so many nightmares from surpressed anger and frustration that I was scared to go to sleep.

The biggest thing that I've learned though is that there are always people who care. I know that talking about feelings is hard. But your family and your friends care about you. My friends could call me any time of day to talk, no matter what I'm going through myself, becuase I would rather listen to them and help if I can than have to deal with losing them. I've had a few scary close calls and losing one of my friends becuase they didn't feel like they had anyone to talk to is one of my greatest fears.

I obviously don't know your friends but if they're genuine friends, I'm sure they would say the same. And even if that's not true, you 100% have a community here on HEE where there is always someone willing to listen.

Having feelings is human. There is nothing whatsoever to feel embarassed about. Your counselor would be there to help you work through feelings before they become too much. Something that has always helped me process my thoughts is writing things down. I've gotten better but I used to not be able to communicate very well unless it was over text or written down just becuase my thoughts would be such a mess. Maybe you could try writing down what you want to talk about before a session? And if you don't feel comfortable reading what you wrote to her, I'm sure you could show her and she would understand.

I'm always happy to listen as well <3

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