Raegan’s mind eventually stopped wandering, settling into the rhythm of listening to him speak. His smooth accent, the way he drawled his words—it was easy to listen to, far too easy. She had noticed before how he didn’t sound as intimidating as some southerners did. They often had a rough, rugged voice, one that was sloppy and uncouth. But Axl? He didn’t. His words were formed properly, deliberate in a way that made her heart thump. If the sound had come from anyone other than the man who had once tried to kill her, she probably would have melted. He always had something interesting to say, always found a way to make sure she wasn’t worrying too much about him. And she never wanted him to worry too much about her, either. She always tried to keep things lighthearted, to stay upbeat during their conversations. Most of the time, it was easy enough, but deep down, she was still scared shitless of him. His sudden movements, the sharper tone in his voice when he got frustrated—those moments made her tense up without meaning to. He had made sure she knew he would never lay a finger on her, had promised her that in every way except verbally. Even when he got heated about certain subjects, he never really let it escalate to the point where she felt the need to get up and bolt.

Axl Jager

King Clan

+++

Axl watched her as he spoke, his golden eyes almost soft, something they rarely managed to do. Even when he was happy, his eyes were always sharp, calculating. He was always scanning his surrondings, watching for threats. Like every place he went into was a war zone. Even when he was completely alone he did this same thing. He was trained for this. Without a doubt, he was a soldier, built for fighting. All 6'4 of his dangerous stature was toned and ready to defend himself and protect others. He not only looked good in a suit and could ruin someone by flashing a smile and speaking, he could snap their neck with one hand. He was a lethal weapon, had experience in this. Paired with his sweet talking mouth were the hands that could easily crush bone. People should be afraid of him, they should be cautious. Unlike Konig, who would make sure you died without meeting you at all, he would destroy you face to face. He was cunning as a cobra, much like his father. Fluent in three languages, able to solve a puzzle within a minute, he had been dominating escape rooms ever since he first came to Konig. He had been scarred by people he thought he trusted, and he had felt pain like no other, physical and mental. There was no feeling like having your skin literally try and melt off, leaving him with unique and ugly scarring. No one knew the pain of having their loved ones murdered mercilessly in front of their eyes. They didn't understand. He wore a wolf claw around his neck from his first kill, and he knew how to cause pain in ways most people only had nightmares about. He was someone to be feared, not someone to be around.

But he hadn't always been this way.

He would've grown up happy, for one. He wouldn't have ever learned these things. He would've gotten a job like hunting and selling the venison. Someone made him this way. Konig. That snake ruined him, twisted him until he was this unrecognizeable predator.

Then there was her.

She was the only person who had managed to draw out this side of him. The joking, laughing, happy side. The one that would bow as a joke, the side that would try a fruity drink because she told him to. The side that had undying loyalty to her. With everyone else, he was a werewolf, but with her? He was a different person. He was the person he was supposed to be.

His face twitched into a smile at her teasing words. "Ahem, he is 56." He hummed, sniffing quietly. "There is a specific reason, by the way." His eyes sparked slightly. "Not one I will disclose right now, but a specific reason, nonetheless." A game-changing reason that threw a wrench in his plans, but that didn't matter much. Konig was sick. Lethally so, and whatever doctors he went to said that he wouldn't live more than a year. Axl needed to take over the business so before the bastard died they could see everything they had ever created fall at their feet.

"Aw shucks, don't be so enjoyed about THAT." A grin flashed over his face. Friend. He liked that term. He hadn't been very sure... if she.. well, if she considered them friends, but apparently she did. That overjoyed him more than anything else. "People are friends with billionaires allllll the time." He drawled, voice joking. Yeah, no. This was rare. ".. I'm sure you are." He couldn't bring himself to say anything else. He'd be the biggest talk in the clans since the company shot through the roof. When he brought it to the ground.

.

He really hoped that she wouldn't tell anyone- yes, he probably made a mistake, as he was kind of forcing her to choose between her clan and him. Technically she had an obligation to tell her clan, but it would probably be problematic. Everyone would freak out before it was public information. 3 weeks later it would be public information, so he guessed it wouldn't be TOO detrimental. He just didn't want to spend the next month hiding under hoods because everyone wanted to ask what was happening. No one knew Konig was sick yet, either, and he was sure no one would know till the guy was dead.

.

He chuckled quietly at her musings. "I like your optimistic approach. I guess I can understand that view. However, I would still have to worry about money. You'd be surprised how many billionaires go bankrupt because they spent too much." He shrugged. It was all about managing the money. In his opinion, there was never a time to spend and not worry about how much you were spending. He had always wanted to go skydiving, though, and if he could, he would. A snort escaped now, his head shaking. "Why would I want to live on an island? I dislike extreme temperatures, and I'd get bored rather quickly." He pointed out. Plus when he thought island living he thought of suntanning shirtless on a random beach with a whiskey in one hand and sunglasses in the other. That just didn't seem right. Definitely not something he wanted to do.

.

His eyebrows drew together slightly, one lifting as he stared at her quizzically when she looked like she was trying not to laugh. "Please don't tell me you're trying to imagine me on a beach." He groaned, shaking his head. "That doesn't seem like it would end well." Probably with fruity drinks. Ew. When he watched her reaction to his out on a limb words, he felt pleasure and happiness blooming at the fact she wasn't backing up and fleeing. That was a good sign. On the contrary, she seemed like she enjoyed the idea. "You give the word, and I will do just that." He laughed, Biting down a maniacal giggle. He was totally winning in this conversation, and there wasn't even a conversation. This was what he had wanted since day 1. He was getting so much closer to his goal. "Do you like horses? I can't seem to recall. I mean, you seem to adore all animals, but the question more revolves around if you've ridden before or not." He asked out of the blue. Random, but necessary, as a thought sprung up in his mind. It didn't reaaally matter, but if she did, he had a couple ideas.

.

His eyebrows shot up with obvious surprise as she extended a hand. He could see the trepidation in her eyes, and he hadn't- well, hadn't expected this. He hadn't really expected her to offer a touch like that for... well, ever. He didn't think they'd ever get there. He didn't have much faith in himself, really. Plus, he didn't deserve to be forgiven for what he did, so... he really just stared at her for a moment like she had suddenly grown two heads. Or maybe four. With split tongues and weird shaped teeth. After another second, he snapped himself out of it and gingerly extended his own hand, shaking hers with the most hesitant and soft grip he had probably ever sustained in his entire life. "Deal. You have my word- before the world implodes, you will win in a game of bowling." He smirked slightly. "But only because I let you." After withdrawing his hand, he mentally made sure the memory was firmly settled in his mind. This was all he could've hoped for from this meeting. And more.

.

An eyebrow quirked as she walked away after saying something that didn't reaaally make sense. He watched carefully as she weaved her way through the crowd, grabbed something, and returned. He tilted his head, then paused as she spoke. "If I die, you do NOT get a nice dinner." He eyed her with a heavy amount of skepticism, taking the small shot and downing it in a swift movement. He didn't know if his life had ended or if his throat had just been forcefully removed from his face- actually, wait, he didn't even know if his throat would be considered part of his face. It really wouldn't. Scratch that. He spluttered for a moment, the sweetness burning mode than if he had just downed a bottle of whiskey. "Holy hell- what IS that stuff?" Immediately, he took a swig of whiskey, which somehow dulled it. How, he didn't know. "Gah- eugh- pfffllhtt." He blanched, shuddering. "That - you ARE trying to kill me! You just said we were friends!" He whined pitifully, once he could speak, pushing the glass as far as it could go away from him.

.

"Okay okay. Your creativity is completely intact and flourishing." He lifted his hands in a surrendering motion, chuckling slightly. "I could have, but that's not the point." He replied sweetly, eyes twinkling with a good natured glow, something that didn't enter them often.

.

Axl was pleased to have won yet again. Unlike most people who would take it for granted after so long, he very much appreciated every win. He bit back a wince as his sensitive ears caught how her breath caught in her throat. It was a good thing that wasn't triggering his flashback. "It is NOT. You're going to give me self esteem issues." He pouted, throwing her a sorrowful look. He then peered at the big board. "Raegan.... I'm sorry to inform you, but I think you need glasses." He grinned, looking amused.

.

"I am honored to have that title. Believe me, not much could make me happier." His grin turned less smug and more just pure joy, growing slightly. He never grinned wide enough to reveal his canines, for a good reason, but he was close.

Ragen Northland

Blue Ridge Clan

-

Raegan’s eyes sort of followed his every movement, watching for when he tensed up or clenched his jaw. She knew he wanted to keep her happy and comfortable, but she didn’t want to completely disregard his every feeling. If she said something he wasn’t happy with, she wanted to know. Unfortunately for her, though, his mask was often unreadable, and she sometimes struggled to decipher what he was thinking. Those, though, were dead giveaways. His hands, when they itched to clench at his sides, or when his jaw clicked so that it locked—she’d come to know... well, she didn’t know what it meant, but she knew it meant he was in any other mood than a happy one.

Axl Jager

King Clan

+++

Axl was half staring into space, half focused on her, but he saw her eyes go a little blurry, a telltale sign that she had retracted into her own mind. He turned his attention to the bar, then. Usually it was quite empty, but this Thursday there seemed to be more than a few more than normal. The bar area was crowded, but thankfully, the bowling area wasn't as bad. What worried him was the tickling stench of alcohol on all their breath, the way they stumbled around. He didn't understand how anyone could let themselves get that drunk. It damn near incapacitated you- he could never feel like vulnerable. Someone could attack and he would be far too lethargic to do anything. He had only gotten this bad- okay, worse, once. After he really understood what happened and what he did to Raegan, he may have drank enough to kill him, and he hadn't woken up to two days. Ever since then, he hadn't even drank enough to cause that slight buzzing.

.

His eyes narrowed at a particular pedestrian that was wandering their way into the bowling area, near where he and Raegan were. Since she was slightly zoned out for the moment, he kept watch on this man, as they were closer than he would've liked. He saw the moment the guy's eyes flicked to her, then they flicked down, and Axl was standing. He took two strides and firmly planted himself before Raegan and the drunkard, glaring down at the guy. "Buzz off, please?" His voice was dry, but there was a hint of warning. Somehow, with all the quite obvious warning signals, the guy didn't pick up. "I just wanna have a lil' funnn. Move." They slurred, trying to push past him.

.

If he had been with anyone other than her, he would've socked the other man in the face so hard they got boosted into a different dimension and started seeing cartoon stars. He didn't do this, however, as he had a distinct feeling it would scare Raegan. Instead, he put a hand on the guys chest and pushed back, right to where they had been before. "Show yourself away from this section of the area or I will, k?" He said lowly, voice borderline growling. He didn't let it go that far, though. This didn't haaaave to be a situation. The drunkard didn't seem to be able to decide whether to be angry about this or to take the hint. Axl decided to help, pushing them slowly, ever so slowly away, and turning them towards the bar. "Coma inducing alcohol over there. Go knock yourself out." He said sweetly. This seemed to spur the man into action, who ambled that way. "Holy jalapeños, this is why I dislike alcohol. Great for people who can moderate... then there's people like that." Disgust and disdain flicked across his expression as he made sure the guy disappeared before returning to his spot, pleased at himself for not completely losing his cool. If Raegan hadn't been there, he would've. The bastard was practically ogling her. He could imagine just how much blood he could produce if he broke every one of the vessels in their nose. He decided not to be thinking these thoughts with her right there, and redirected his attention.

.

He threw her a snort at her guess. "He despises Spain. For any reason other than he hates the Spanish language, I cannot decipher." He pointed out. The reason Konig hated the Spanish language was because it was too easy and generic. If anyone learned a language, it'd likely be Spanish.

.

"Dear God no. No TV shows. I already have enough attention as it is." He groaned, a slight smile tipping his lips up. He did love the thought, though. "It's not like anyone can tell. I don't drive around in a Porsche or some crap car like that- can't believe people call those nice cars- and it's not like I'm constantly wearing suits or something weird like that." He huffed, shaking his head. Actually, he had hated the only other rich people he had met. They were all down to earth assholes. Short, is what he really met. Short, fat, ugly and rude. Everything you didn't want. They could act and look however they wanted because they could buy anything they wanted. If they wanted a roomfull of people to pretend they liked them, they could pay for it. He had always despised that. His smile didn't waver at her suggestion- even though he would be doing much more than that. And getting richer than his father, through means in which no one wants to know. If anyone thought Konig had actually built a company that fast LEGALLY, they were sorely mistaken. "How sweet of you. I may have to take you up on the offer just to see you more." He joked, though his eyes glowed with a happy little light that looked odd on him.

.

Horror flashed over his face as she started speaking. "No- no NO NO I don't NOT NEED TO BE SCARRED I ALREADY need a therapist NO NEED to make that worse!" He yelped, wanting to claw out his braincells. They produced a life threatening image. "If I die here of a heart attack, make sure to TELL EVERYONE IT WAS YOU." He groaned dramatically, pressing the heel of his palm against his forehead. "I'm broken now." He whimpered, attempting to scrub the brightly painted image out of his mind. It was a damn good thing he wasn't cocky about how hot he was- because, come on- because all he could imagine was miles of delightful bronze skin but then its his and now it was just gross. She had ruined him forever. Not even a lobotomy could fix this. "I do NOT want to look into your mind, thank you very much. Mine is producing a bad enough image as is, and I do not want to know what I look like in your mind wearing little to no clothing." Blech. No. He felt like a child watching their parents kiss- he wanted to run away screaming.

.

He narrowed his eyes as she giggled again, knowing she was conjuring up worse ideas. "You've officially banned me from all islands everywhere. I am never stepping foot on a beach again after this." He huffed, throwing a fake hurt look at her. How dare she. Plus that would mean not wearing something with long sleeves, so he'd have to be horribly alone, meaning he'd go insane after a month. He may be an Introvert, but he could only go without human contact for so long.

.

"I wasn't joking." He shrugged. "If you want to get dinner, then I can make that happen." It was totally his idea and he totally wanted to do it quite badly, but he wanted it to be her decision. That way he knew she actually wanted to as well. When she spoke, it wasn't just his face, but his eyes that lit up. "Will do. Do you want me to come in a suit, or...?" He joked, looking less pleased than usual and just happier. "Never?" He questioned with a tilt of his head. "That's kind of sad. Konig had a whole stable when I was young, with at least 12 horses. One in particular, I loved riding... it was this black mare named Widow. She was always a little spitfire, and I broke more bones getting thrown off of her than I did probably anywhere else. Still, it was probably the only way I survived my childhood." He snorted. "Though, cleaning out the Stables wasn't fun." It took hours to do all the chores... mucking out, water, food, grooming all the horses, cleaning tack, organizing the tack room, etc. It was a lot of work, but worth it to get to ride. He enjoyed it. Axl realized that's probably the most information he had disclosed about his past to anyone- before he was 20, his past was a mystery. Not to her, of course, in the later years, but no one really knew anything about him, and no one knew anything about him before he was 11.

.

He was definitely more terrified than her right now, though his fear was extremely irrational. He wasn't going to just explode out of nowhere and hurt her just because he was touching her. If he thought that would happen, he wouldn't be here. However, he was genuinely scared of hurting her again. In any way. This did warrant a shake, though, since he had promised her that she would win.

.

"Exactly." He smirked. "I couldn't just let you think you got better than me, now, could I?" He asked innocently. No, if she wanted that, she'd have to go mini golfing. Then she could laugh at him the whole time. But for bowling, he would not let her win without making sure she knew it was because of him. His smile grew slightly as she laughed, eyes flicking across her face. Still one of the best sights in the world, if you asked him. Her being happy. Genuinely happy.

.

"No, it's disgusting. Big difference." He sniffed. They needed to rename it. "I do NOT. Teens have NO TASTE." He huffed. That shit was toxic.

.

He eyed her with a skeptical look as she spoke. "I think it's quite ride to be insulting a soon to be billionaires ass, so thank you very much but I will hold onto the belief it is perfect." He sniffed in a regal yet haughty way, waving a hand at her. The teasing didn't bother him in the slightest, though. Having a not funky ass wasn't going to make him smarter or funnier, and that's what he really cared about. Good looks did HELP in the political business, though. They also hurt. He knew that firsthand. Not the point of this, though. Konig wasn't overly attractive and the guy was the richest person in the state right now, so he would stick to the beliefs that it was the cunning words that mattered. "Do I really have that strong of an effect on you?" He asked, matching her sarcasm perfectly. A slight snort escaped at her pouty look. She always found the funniest thing to say. One of her best qualities, if you asked him.

.

"I would probably fall over dead, so be careful." Axl replied drily, though he looked amused at her giggling. He usually didn't make excessive noise for no reason, apart from snorting and huffing, because why not, but she was a cacophony of sounds. It was great. He felt happier every time he heard her laugh or giggle or chuckle or cackle, as she often did. That was probably his favorite. Her evil little cackle.

.

(That's perrrfectly fine XD. I already spent all morning writing this so it's probably good to shorten them to, like, 1000 instead of 1500 XDD. I've written the longest post ever in my career on this rp, I think around 1800 words

Edit: I just looked and this post is 1862 words 0-o)

Raegan Northland

Blue Ridge Clan

-

Raegan was lost in her own little world for a while, only snapping out of it when she caught sight of Axl standing up. For a moment, she looked completely dazed, her brows furrowing as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Her gaze flickered past him, landing on Mr. Jager as he wandered toward the bar, a bumbling drunk stumbling along in front of him. She cocked her head slightly when Axl returned, her lips curving into a soft smile. He didn’t exactly look pleased, and something about that made a small chuckle bubble up in her chest.

“Look, I know you’re some big-shot COO who spends his days locked up in an office, but you’d make a great doorman. Maybe consider a career change, princess,” she teased lightly, eyes twinkling with mischief. She could practically picture it—Axl standing outside some high-end club in an expensive suit, deciding who was sober and important enough to get in, sending away the undeserving with a single cold stare. He had the presence for it, that was for sure. The thing was, he didn’t exactly look like some cutthroat CEO. He didn’t carry that same stiff, aged arrogance that his father did. Maybe it was the height difference or even the way his features, though often schooled into a carefully controlled mask, still held a certain softness. If she had to approach one of them, it’d be him over his father, without a doubt.

Her brow arched slightly when he mentioned that König hated Spain. That seemed... odd. Spain always struck her as the kind of place rich old men fled to when they wanted to retire. It was relatively cheap, and he could have a massive house in the countryside with endless land to call his own. He’d be the richest man on nearly the entire continent, so how could that not appeal to someone like him? She frowned slightly, pursing her lips. “Really? I thought that’d be exactly the kind of thing he’d enjoy,” she mused, tapping her fingers against her glass. “I don’t really get how you can hate an entire language. Seems too easy of a thing to dismiss for someone as cunning as König.” She took a sip of her drink, considering it for a moment before chuckling. “But he’d be away from all the chaos here. Isn’t that what all old men want? A stupidly big house and the illusion of being on top of the world?” She smirked at the thought. “Maybe Italy is more his style. I could totally see him joining some mob.” Her eyes flickered back to Axl, a teasing glint settling in them. “You too, actually. You two would make quite the pair. Brains and brawn. Not sure who’d be who, though.” She paused, then laughed softly. “Honestly? I could see it both ways.”

She gave a small pout when he shot down the idea of a TV show, though she couldn’t blame him. “Aww, but I was looking forward to all the ridiculous adventures it would bring us!” she teased, feigning disappointment. She got it, though—she wouldn’t want to be on television either. The thought of sitting in front of cameras, pretending to be all friendly and charming, while secretly terrified of the man beside her? That sounded like pure torture. She grinned after a moment. “Then again, it could be good for business,” she mused, her smirk widening. “The great Axel Jager—on a TV show? Just imagine it.” She could practically see it now, the brooding businessman making headlines for his every move.

As he spoke again, she glanced down at her empty glass, debating whether to get another drink. She glanced at her watch—nearly midnight. She really should sleep at some point, but right now, she was too wrapped up in their conversation. “I am very sweet,” she agreed playfully, her grin turning smug. “In that case, I’ll bring you some coffee on my break tomorrow. Send me your order.” She snickered at the thought of him sending her the most ridiculous, sugar-loaded Starbucks order imaginable. Something with extra pumps of vanilla and caramel, maybe even a sprinkle of pumpkin spice, just to really throw her off.

Her smirk deepened when she saw the horror flash across his face at her earlier comment. Oh, she liked that reaction. A lot. “If you drop dead from a heart attack, I will proudly claim full responsibility,” she chuckled, eyes glinting with amusement. “That image of you? I love it. It’d make a great calendar—'The Most Powerful Business Owners of the Year' edition.” She grinned at his overreaction, fully prepared to make the mental image ten times worse just for fun. “Aww, honey, do you not like it? I’ll draw it out sometime, just to show you exactly what I think you’ll look like in thirty years. Lounging around in style.” She cackled at the thought, clearly entertained. “Besides, I bet you love looking at yourself. I bet you strut around your house in something ridiculous just to admire yourself in the mirror. Why do you look so horrified by the idea of your own body?” She was absolutely relishing in his discomfort.

Her eyes lit up again, her grin turning even more devilish. “Trust me, the version in my mind is way worse than whatever you’re imagining.” She could already see it—Axl, shrunk down to a measly three feet tall, with an extra hundred pounds slapped onto him for good measure. The sheer ridiculousness of it made her giggle to herself.

She groaned dramatically when he shut down the idea of another island. “But what if I want our dinner to be on a beach? Then what?” she huffed, pouting up at him. “Guess we’ll have to fix that.”

The second he reassured her that he was serious about dinner, though, she lit up instantly, nodding perhaps a little too eagerly. “I’m serious too,” she chirped, her excitement obvious. “I want us to go out for dinner—and yes, definitely wear a suit. I’m dying to see what’s going to dominate the headlines in a few months.” She had no doubt that whatever Axl was planning was going to be huge, and it was an honor to be one of the first to know about it.

She wrinkled her nose when he brought up the horses, though. “Not all of us grew up with a crazy, money-obsessed father,” she quipped, crossing her arms. But then her lips curled into a grin. “But if this is you asking me to go see some horses with you, the answer is yes.” She paused for dramatic effect before her expression turned playful. “If this is you asking me to shovel horse shit, though, the answer is absolutely not.”

She grinned as she finally pulled her hand away from his, wiping it against her thigh as if to rid herself of the lingering warmth. He knew how she felt about his touch—it was probably a bigger deal than he realized that she had reached out for it in the first place. She hummed softly, flashing him a crooked little grin. “Now you can’t get out of it. A deal’s a deal. Your dying breath will be spent right here, with me, letting me win one match against you.” She chuckled, fully aware that the victory would mean more to her than to him.

She rolled her eyes at him after a second. “I already know you’re better than me. You don’t have to rub it in.”

She gave him a look at his next comment, narrowing her eyes. “It’s not that bad. It’s a fun drink. Maybe you’re the one with no taste,” she huffed. “Better than beer and whiskey. You’ll never convince me otherwise.”

Her gaze swept over him for a brief moment before she nodded. Yeah, he definitely had that effect on people. He could ask just about anyone to do just about anything, and they’d probably do it without question. She trusted him enough to make the right calls, and hell, even if he was joking about her getting her eyes checked, she’d do it—just because he told her to. She let out a breath, giving him a lazy smirk. “I’d do anything you asked me to. Don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t have slit my own throat to save you the effort.”

The weight of her own words lingered in the air for a moment, the situation between them creeping into the conversation more than either of them had acknowledged up until now. They’d have to talk about it at some point, but now wasn’t the time. Not when she was still slightly buzzed off her sickly sweet, “tasteless” drink.

His next comment made her laugh, the tension lifting slightly. “You’d die if I said you were my best friend?” she asked, amused. “Come on, I might not be the best company, but I’m not that bad!” She chuckled, knowing full well she was twisting his words just for the fun of it. Watching him react was just too entertaining.

-

(I've brought us back a little bit xD Yeah, thats a way more comfortable length for me. They just kept getting longer and longer and I couldn't stop myself lol.

Yeah, my last one was nearly 2000 >.>)

Axl threw one parting scowl at the drunkard, sniffing with disdain before turning his eyes towards her. "That'd be the most boring job ever. Never getting to do anything but shoo intoxicated stinky people away from a club that's too expensive for them to go into. And having to wear a suit while doing it? Ugh." He shuddered, shaking his head. Nope, he wasn't going to think about a career change anytime soon. Well, he kind of was. His skills would come in handy once he started using them. Honestly, this would be fun. Justice would be served, he would take over the clan and rule it like a leader should, and everyone would be so shell-shocked they wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

"Also, I do NOT spend my days locked inside a stuffy office." He wrinkled his nose. "Most of my work can be done from home, and if I spend a week doing everything that comes up, I can usually get away with doing absolutely nothing for about a week." He had done that multiple times- overloaded himself for a week straight, then disappeared off the radar. Once he had flown to Germany, Konig's home country, and hiked in the wilderness. No one knew where he was, and no one missed him. It was easy. When he was the CEO it wouldn't be AS easy, but he could figure it out.

At her confused look and her question, he smiled slightly, looking mildly amused. "I can explain at least that part to you. Although I dislike Konig far more than anyone can understand, he is a cunning individual. Quite egotistical as well. That means when he learned English, he mastered it, and when he learned French, he did the same thing. He despises Spanish because it is looked upon as one of the easiest languages to learn in the world, so many people decide to learn it. He calls them lazy and says they should do better." He shrugged, explaining what he could. Konig was an enigma, one that Axl had only just figured out... sort of... but they guy did have some things that made sense. If you looked at it from their perspective, someone could understand how they would dislike Spanish. "Well, he does. He doesn't really hate it... he just dislikes it. Plus, he isn't the same as moooost rich old men." He mused, thinking about the little 'problem'. The whole Konig-wouldn't-live-for-more-than-a-year problem. He chuckled at her view on what old men wanted, shaking his head. "He wants to be feared, and he is. By most. He won't have to worry about it, though." He paused, biting the inside of his cheek as he realized he may have just slipped up. Damn you, Axl. You need to be more careful. He thought, continuing as though nothing happened, hoping she wouldn't notice. "Italty, huh? I- hey! I am obviously the brains! And the brawn. He is nothing." He scoffed, grinning. "I am not going to move away to Italy and join a mob. Believe me, two languages is enough. I am not learning Italian, too." His father had grown up as German being their first language, but he had grown up with English. They each learned the other, then learned one more language. As a challenge, he had picked Russian. He got a fricking challenge- the language made little to no sense.

"Ridiculous is right." Axl snorted, not wanting to think about what would happen if they were both on a TV show. Imagine the upheaval- everywhere. No one would no what to do. Then again, that would soon be happening anyway, so what the hell. Live your life while you had it, right? "I don't think I need any more business." He wrinkled his nose. "300 billion bucks is probably enough to inherit and live off of for a whiiiile." That number almost gave him a brain cramp, honestly. That was his father's net worth. 312.1 billion dollars. That was terrifying. Especially since he'd have more quite soon. And, on that note, he was going to be donating a loooot of that. No one in their right mind needed that much money, and there were people starving. He may like money, sure, as did everyone, but he wasn't like his father- he wouldn't hoarde it. In a month or two, however, he would be the richest person in the world.

As he glimpsed her glancing at her watch, he scanned the room quickly for a clock. In office, he always wore a watch, but he disliked the feeling of it, and didn't whenever he could. He noticed one quickly, a bit surprised at how long they had already spoken. Usually they both left after an hour to an hour and a half. She had never seemed to love to linger, and he had respected her boundaries, so it had never lasted too long. However, she seemed to want to keep talking, and he wasn't gonna complain. "I bet you'll be just shocked at what it is." His eyebrows lifted slightly as he grinned. His tone had been sarcastic, and that was because his coffee preferences were probably exactly what anyone would think. "I'm actually 90 percent sure you can remember it for months at a time, only because it's so ordinary. As expected, I literally just get a dark roast." Nothing added or taken away. If he was tired and he needed to wake up, a dark roast- after he usually poured a small amount of alcohol in it- smacked him in the face and woke him up faster than a pure shot of caffeine. The more bitter, the better. Usually vodka, since he would drink coffee at work and working just needed vodka in the first place.

"Proudly?" Axl gave her a sorrowful glance, then shuddered in pure fear as she kept speaking. This could only end badly. Very badly. He did NOT need the images taking up permanent residence in his mind. "No, no I don't like it, and I would prefer if you DIDN'T draw it. That could only be catastrophic. I really don't want to know what you're thinking. I'm traumatized enough as it is." He whined, sticking his fingers in his ears. "Laaaa deeee daaaa dooooo." On his luck, he took them out just in time to hear her talk about him strutting, and he did not need to hear that. His nose wrinkled and he gagged. "Good GOD no! I do not want to have this conversation with you! Agh!" He massaged his temple, trying VERY hard to rid himself of the terrifying images flying through his mind. "There are MUCH more important things in life than admiring myself, thank you VERY MUCH." He didn't know if there was anything he could do to defend himself here. Other than run away. He was close to that.

As her eyes lit up yet again, grin turning horrifyingly devilish, he winced, very glad he couldn't read minds. "Let's keep our thoughts to ourselves, mkay?" He suggested with a hopeful tone, glancing at her. He did not want to know what she was thinking about right now, but it likely had something to do with an old fat him lounging on a beach. With a fruity drink. In a coconut.

He narrowed his eyes, pondering that. "Then I'll suggest something oh-ever-so-much better and you'll agree that we'll go there." He huffed. "Or we'll go to the beach and I'll just suffer." The latter was the more likely option, but he wasn't gonna worry about that till he needed to worry about it.

"Ugh- the pictures. I forgot about the pictures. Forget the gossip, those are the worst." He made a face. He did NOT want to SEE himself all over the front page of ever newspaper in the state of Texas. "But I willlll wear a suit, you're welcome, even though I will suffocate." Honestly, he could think of nothing more uncomfortable than wearing a suit, but he did it a lot, so what the hell. Honestly, his favorite outfit had to be sweatpants. Nothing else. At home. Alone. Possibly eating popcorn and watching a movie. Maybe the rare bowl of ice cream. Or cheesecake- he made killer cheesecake. In any case, he preferred casual wear. And he loved being alone, since then he could wear a t-shirt instead of always long sleeves.

"Yeah, you're very lucky. Don't boast." Axl snorted, then tilted his head. "Noooo, I'm totally inviting you to shovel horse shit. You're welcome. I hope you have fun" His tone dripped with sarcasm. "There's a show - Gaming - going to be happening next Thursday. One of the kids I am secretly sponsoring- don't tell anyone- will be there, so I'm gonna have to sneak off there as well. Since I won't be able to make it here, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me." He offered. He was actually looking forward to going- the kid, Charlotte, was a great girl, had immense potential, and had a beautiful horse. This perfect little gelding, fast as a lightning bolt, named Whiplash.

"I would not want to spend my dying breath anywhere but here." He joked, chuckling. "Even if you are gonna win." He would let her win every match they ever played if it meant spending more time with her. Honestly, Axl would jump off a building if she wanted him to, so they really didn't need to make a deal. She could just say the word and it'd be done.

A small laugh escaped at her grumpy glance, then he wrinkled his nose. "It's a DISGUSTING drink that people should not be drinking. Ew." He put an emphasis on disgusting and EW, because it WAS. "I have taste, and beer and whiskey are perfect. Shush." Honestly, she was insufferable. Fruity drinks- pfft.

His more relaxed manner kind of froze at her words, his eyes twitching open a millimeter as he calculated what her words could possibly mean, and tried VERY hard not to let the flashback come back. He could feel it, prodding at his consciousness, begging him to let it in just so it could ravage his mind and turn him into a husk of his former self. He resisted, biting the inside of his cheek again as a way to ground himself. Honestly, his poor cheek was ragged, since he did that every time someone pissed him off and he just wanted them to be quiet but he couldn't say that so he had to shut his own mouth. Finally, the word slipped out, his gaze baring immense pain for a moment. "I'm sorry." His voice was merely a whisper, and his gaze dropped down, to the floor. His attention was split between trying not to let the memory take over his mind and her, so it was getting hard to sort out his emotions. "I really hope you know that. Nothing could fix what I did- I know that. But I'm so sorry. I wish every day, every second that I could go back, fix my mistake- no, worse than a mistake. I don't know what to call it." His voice cracked. "I would give up anything, everything to be able to reverse time, to shut the door instead of exiting, to delete the text instead of sending it that I wanted to meet you, to turn around instead of forging forward. I need you to know that." Biting the inside of his cheek again, hard enough that he felt blood wash over his tongue and pain buzz through his face, he lifted his gaze. If nothing else, he needed her to know that. He'd give up his own life to just go back and redo that one night. If he had to choose between keeping Konig away from his family and keeping himself away from her.... he'd choose the latter.

He knew he probably shouldn't have spoken, shouldn't have said anything, but he couldn't stop the words that had pressed against his mind. He knew they'd have to go into the same conversation later, in more depth, but he needed to say that now. He was sorry. He wanted to change it, but he couldn't. The bitter, horrible truth was that he couldn't change the past. It hurt, more than anything, but if he could... he would.

As she laughed, he tried to clear his mind, but the same damp shadow tried to linger. "You KNOW what I meant." He protested weakly, but not with his usual bravado.

-

(I'm so sorry XD. I tried to stop, but then my brain just kept going and now I have a post that is 2138 words long. Good for me- they won't be this long again 0-o)

People annoyed Axl. Quite honestly, people in general were just annoying. They were almost all selfish, only thinking about what they wanted, and most didn't care who or what was in their way. They'd try to shove it out of the way. Both genders had their massive downfalls. Women tried to manipulate people and were just evil in general. Men never thought about anything but women. It was just a corrupt circle of lust and hate and pain. If he could, he would go drop himself on an island and live out his days without having to worry about people. Maybe get a horse and go riding. Swim in the inland lakes. Build a house. Yet life's responsibilities- specifically within the next 4 or so months- were going to put a grinding halt to any delightful getaway plans he could formulate.

He, unlike her with a boyfriend, had never had a girlfriend. Which was honestly surprising, as ever since he turned 15, girls tried to throw themselves at him. Every one of them, though, only cared about looks, so he turned them down one after another. Raegan had been his only friend- well, friend. Period. He had a couple buddy's in highschool, and a couple more in college, but despite how popular he could've become, he hid his identity and his life. He despised the attention and preferred changing things behind scenes. That was one of the reasons he majored in Computer type stuff. He was a computer whiz, to put it simply, although he didn't look like it. Honestly, you hear that and you think scrawny kid with too-big glasses, greasy hair, and freckles. It didn't matter what others thought, though, cause he was damn good at it.

"Riiiight. Breaking up fights is so fun." Axl snorted. Believe it or not, he disliked fighting. Well, unless someone really deserved it, then he would enjoy it. Still. "It's not like I get to drink the fancy drinks in the club." He added with a huff. He'd have to be painstakingly sober. And he couldn't imagine how many men he would punch because he saw them trying to spend their luck on a woman that obviously didn't want it. "You bet correctly, if I can say so myself." He grinned. "That's one thing I can vote on. It might have something to do with the fact Konig had a suit tailored to fit me, however." Well, not just one. Apparently he needed 5 different suits- for what reason, he couldn't fathom.

"That's when I get LUCKY. I guess I didn't state that the best way." He wrinkled his nose. "I can't just leave whenever I want- usually that only works on times when we're less busy. Plus, I do have to put in calls to each of the members to see how specific things are going. For instance, there's a suuuuuper rich family up in Maine, and they hired a bodyguard for their daughter- in any case, he's one of the ones under my command, specifically. I oversee it all, but I have a few important ones that I check in with myself." He explained, shaking his head. "I didn't mean I can just take a week off whenever I want." He finished with an eyeroll. That was not accomplishable.

He chuckled at her comment about being able to live with being called lazy by Konig. He wouldn't be able to, but for most people, it wasn't much of an insult. "Yeah, it is a popular language. The second most popular in the US. Kind of." Technically, the US was just a pot of different languages, but Spanish was secondmost to English. "Mandarin? Really?" He made a face. "That's literally, like, one of the hardest languages to learn." He could prooooobably do it, but he didn't really want to. Not with German and Russian taking up residence in his mind. He wrinkled his nose slightly as she did, in fact, realize he slipped up, pausing as he thought. He wasn't going to lie- Axl never lied. Like, ever. He hated it. However, the truth was kinda blunt. And, well, secret. Very secret. "He's... having problems." That was tehcnically the truth. It would do for now.

"You're right, he didn't become the richest by doing nothing. He did a bunch of illegal shit that would horrify normal people and paid not to get caught." His voice held distaste in it. "He may be smart but he's no saint." As a matter of fact, he was a serial killer, technically, but they weren't going to talk about that. Axl barked a laugh at her defense against the Italian language, looking thoroughly amused. "Well, now I have to learn Italian. Thanks. Also, that is highly unlikely to happen, so stop dreaming." He teased. Honestly, German and Russian were both very gutteral, rough languages- it'd be nice to know something that flowed off the tongue. He'd put that on his bucket list. No Mandarin- that was silly. Italian. Yes.

"Uh huh. The great Axl Jager, now a TV show host at the age of 52. Name: Hot Men In Paradise." He joked, grinning. He couldn't help but grin at THAT. He could make another million bucks offa something like that. Just the title would make half the population watch. He made a face as she nearly sent his ears to hell, throwing her a look. "I am not joking, and it is. Soon that'll be me." He shuddered slightly. "All the rescues and shelters and charities and Veteran things and hospitals are gonna be very happy." He joked with a lopsided smile. No way id he need to keep all that money and more.

"I said it wasn't something like a Cappuccino or something weird like that." He chuckled, looking amused at her grumbling. "That would be much appreciated. On that note, if you think a dark roast is overly boring, what do you usually get? A caramel frappucino?" He sniffed, tone teasing. Honestly, that sounded like something she would get. With sprinkles on top, maybe a little candle because why not, an umbrella to add color, and a loopy straw. All in neon colors, but all different so you got the whole rainbow. That sounded Raegan.

The moment the picture flashed in his face he died on the inside, mind withering back into its shell as he let out a dramatic yelp and hid behind his hands. "I'm scarred for life. Don't ever imagine me in that again. Ew. I need to wash out my brain with cyanide." He complained, not ever wanting to see another person on the beach wearing one of those abomonations ever again. Good god, he was ACTUALLY LEGITAMENTLY traumatized. "You should be sorry." He whimpered again, shaking his head. As if that would get rid of ANYTHING.

"A nice suit? Do you really think I have a crappy suit? Yeah, I'm totally just gonna throw on this tattered piece of fabric that used to be called a suit and go have dinner. Sounds like a great idea." He replied sarcastically, snorting. "Civil sounds nice." He rolled his eyes as he gazed around at the crowded area. Civil sounded GREAT, actually. "Oh, yeah. I'll keep them so I can show everyone what I used to look like, long long ago. In the age of the dinosaurs." He bit his lip to keep from laughing- that was a greaaaat mental image. "I'm glad I won't be the only one suffering." Axl smirked slightly. They could suffer together.

He honestly was really relieved when she agreed, said yes to coming. It would make the time more entertaining, for sure. "It's at 4, and will only go till 8 or so. At the West Winds ranch." Everyone knew where the WW Ranch was - everything important that wasn't town stuff seemed to happen there. Rodeos, shows, auctions, you name it. It was right outside the city, not too far from his place, and it was huge. "Ah, good. Don't need anyone knowing I'm a softie at heart." He joked, smiling faintly.

Axl had frozen when she mentioned the night, but he could still see her reaction. Her breath hitched in an uncomfortable looking way, her mouth opened slightly like she wasn't getting enough air, and her eyes unfocusing as the night rushed back to her. He hadn't meant to trigger the memory, hadn't meant to ruin the night, but of course he did. Of course he had. He was great at doing stupid shit like that. The knowledge that it was replaying in her mind made it all the harder to keep it out of his, then she started speaking, and he felt the world suddenly crash back down on top of him, cutting off his airflow. Every word sank into his mind like a numbing spear of pain until all he could feel was cold agony. The night shoved its way into his mind, taking up every ounce of concentration he had. He had watched her fall under him. Watched her writhe for a moment in confusion. Watched her skin open up like paper as blood gushed out. Her last sentence was the final stake, this time straight to his heart, his very soul, as he heard her whispered words. I-I remember trying to make sure you were okay. I just wanted you to be okay. Of course she had been worrying about him. She had never done anything but care about him.

Something he hadn't felt in a long time made the whole situation worse, but he knew his eyes were glassy at the moment. Glassy with tears, of course, but he wasn't going to let them fall. All she had ever wanted was someone to trust, so, of course, he had to rip that away from her. Betray her in the worst way possible. He was a monster. How did she ever stay around him? Agree to go out one more time? How did he let himself? He felt his mind draw back into its shell as he tried to protect himself, felt his walls lift up around him. He knew he needed to get out of here, but he couldn't move. Or breathe, for that matter. His throat was still constricted, and it was starting to make him dizzy. After a couple long, painstaking moments, he coaxed his airways open, nostrils flaring as he sucked in a shuddering breath.

Her question rang in his mind, getting louder and louder and multiplying until he couldn't even hear the voices around him. He tried to calm it, but it seemed to be punishing him for what he had done, as his head began to throb. "I...." His voice immediately got stuck in his throat and came out inaudible and dry. He swallowed and restarted. "I had asked you... asked you to come with me... and I.. I stupidly tried to make you choose... between your clan and me." He whispered. "When... when you said no... as you should've... I didn't know what to do... I felt betrayed... hurt... I wanted to prove... to prove I was strong enough... that I could take care of you." Fuck. He felt a tear dampen his skin. "It happened... happened to be the full moon, and my emotions... they... they were already getting the best of me. I had.. I had changed into my full form... I could barely even see. All I saw was red... all I felt was pain and anger... and I ... I don't know what went through me. I just attacked. I never meant to hurt you.. that was ever my intention... I wanted to show you I was strong enough... but I didn't want to hurt you...and I ended up doing that anyway." His voice broke as pure despair crept through, soaking his tone. "After... after I left.. after I changed back... after I realized what I did... there aren't words to express how I felt."

He had hurt her. He had tried to kill her. It was his fault, and he didn't expect her to forgive him, or go anywhere near him again. All he could remember was how he sobbed so hard it just hurt, how he couldn't see, the pain, the anger, the betrayal, the feel of flesh ripping open, the terror after he realized what happened. That was it.

(I'm feeling the same way here XD. I bet they'll be shorter once we';re through this scene)

"I'm preeeeetty sure most people wouldn't try to punch me." Axl smiled in a lopsided way. "They are usually smarter than that." Then again, there would be that one guy that was too drunk to know the difference, and they would try to swing. It'd be slow and lethargic, he would duck easily, and they would end up with a broken nose.

He wouldn't ever touch her, but he wasn't above grabbing someone by the collar and tossing them into the trash. It would quite honestly be entertaining. He had picked up a person by their neck before, which was formerly viewed by them as something that only happened in movies. They had been quite unhappy nad he had never seen them again, and he believed their view on that had been changed. Then again, they probably only weighed 120 pounds at most.

As she spoke, he arched a brow, looking a little offended- he wasn't, but he was dramatic. "I would look smart? Don't I look smart already?" he asked in a whiny voice, giving her a sorrowful glance. "Actually, it doesn't matter if I look smart. I can just be smart and prove everyone wrong that doesn't think so." He sniffed. "You- huh?" he paused at her words, then realized, yeah, that makes sense. a lot of people probably did that just to keep tabs on some of the most dangerous people in the city, and she likely did it to make sure she was nowhere near him. "Right. So you know that I do look smart and sexy in a suit." He joked with a grin. It widened slightly at her words- yes, he knew it, but it was way better to hear it from her.

"Yeah, I guess it is." He had a tendency to be rather... pessimistic, for good reasons. He had gotten the shit end of the stick at every corner in life, so he never expected or looked at the bright side. Silver lining on every cloud? That really didn't apply to him. Oh, everyone he had ever loved is dead! Well at least he now has a billionaire as a father! Yeah, no. That didn't fit. "Well, we'll have to fix that sometime, won't we?" he mused, then gave her a hurt look. "You don't have to spend all your evenings with me. Stay home in your pajamas and watch a movie while eating something unhealthy, if you want." he huffed quietly. HE would be disappointed, but if it aided her, then she should do it. As long as she was happy.

"I am honestly not that important." Axl shrugged. "If I wasn't here, the company would go to Konig's right hand man, Hans. Hans has a son, so it would get passed down that way." It would still be Jager Industries, so it didn't really matter. Konig had nearly killed him at least 7 times, on purpose instead of on accident, so he obviously wasn't very important.

He wrinkled his nose slightly. "I am willing to learn Italian, but only because you said it was sexy." He teased. Complete joke, quite honestly, but he had been looking for a language to replace Russian. He never used it, and he wasn't fluent in it anymore because he never practiced. Honestly, he could barely say he knew it. He hadn't said anything in Russian for at least 4 years. However, he could use Italian. And the accent he could Surely put to good use. Hoowwwwever, Mandarin would be helpful. She was right- a lot of the businessmen came from around China these days.

"Proooobably. I just don't feel like Mandarin would really fit me the best, ya know?" His accent thickened as he spoke again. "I much prefer the southern drawl, if ya know what I mean." He stated, smirking slightly. Yeah, that drawl would NOT pair well with Mandarin. Nor would a MN accent, even though that wasn't nearly as strong. "Ouch. It is not too HARD, I just don't have countless hours to be learning one of the hardest languages on the planet for a couple rare meeting." he scoffed. Plus his brain was occupied with other things.

"You will be, no need to worry about that." He agreed with a slight smile. When he did manage to learn enough to make it sound good.

He chuckled in amusement at her words about his show idea, lips curling upward, then placed a hand on his heart and gasped in offense. "I will be the most STUNNING 50 year old you will EVER encounter." He huffed, lifting his nose. "I cannot wait to prove that to you." In 30 years, he would be as sexy as Johnny Depp at fifty.

As she stared at him, he thought she was faking it, being sarcastic, or joking, but then he realized she wasn't kidding. He had gotten it. "Really? Uh- I guessed the most extravagant yet yummy thing I could think of?" He suggested, grinning. That's literally what he had done. Not much thought there. "No- no no no, you're not transparent. Your personality is just... very... caramel frapp like." He bit back a laugh. "You're very cheery. Most of the time. And you like sweet stuff." He had spent every waking hour with her for years straight, so he should be able to guess something like that.

At her sarcastic words, he shuddered again. "If you weren't kidding, I would disown you as a friend." He stated with a serious look, but he couldn't help but grin a little afterward. "I don't know if I can..." he sighed dramatically, resting his chin on his hands. "You've traumatized me beyond repair." He hummed in a slightly loopy tone, then finally lifted his head. "Ah, but I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you." It took a lot of effort, though.

"I would NOT. If all I had was a scrap of fabric and a tie I'd buy a suit." He scoffed, shaking his head. "Okay then. My best suit doesn't look much different than my worst suit, but I'll be in it." Honestly, his best suit was the black one where he wore a dark blue undershirt and a black tie. It matched his hair well. Maaaaayyyybe he'd even shave for the whole adventure, though he was attatched to his scruff. "Okay, whatever you want. I'll pretend." He joked with a grin.

The memory was boderline painful as it tried to shove his way in, dimming his senses and sending spikes of agony - real physical agony - shuddering through his core. He didn't even know what to feel or do or say. It was just pain. So much pain. Regret, guilt, everything. He would fly into the sun if it would fix what he did, not nothing could and he didn't know whow to take that. Not while it was coming up fresh in his mind. He remembered how hot his breath felt on his skin, almost searing. He remembered not being able to hear anything. He had felt completely out of control. Feral, even.

Now was almost just as bad. Here he was, in the middle of a crowded bar, slumped into the seat he had taken, staring at the ground, and he felt that single tear finally drip off of his chin and splash onto his hand. He didn't bother moving, staring at it as it rolled down and then onto the floor. The great Axl Rhys Jager, son of Konig Jager, owner of Jager Industries, billionaire- he was crying. In public. He had only ever cried twice in his life, but this apparently made it three. Weak. You're weak. He thought, but he couldn't bring himself to stop as another silent tear started its trek down his cheek. His mind felt like it was tearing itself apart thread by thread, cell by cell, electron by electron, and he couldn't do anything. He could just feel his tears slowly drip down his cheeks, he could watch his vision go grey, slowly turning into tunnel vision, and he could feel his head go fuzzy, trying to protect itself from the overwhelming emotions.

He barely noticed as she moved to sit beside him, not looking at anything in particular but keeping his head bowed. He was so dizzy that if he lifted it, he may just tip over. He heard her question, barely, and he didn't want to answer, didn't answer, for so long. Too long. Long enough that she started speaking again. He thought it couldn't get any worse, but a fresh wave of nausea slammed into him face first as she stated how she trusted him. How she said... she said what was so devastatingly true. He tried to kill her. He never wanted to. Never meant to. Yet he had. As she continued, he almost felt himself biting the inside of his cheek to keep from crying more, but only because warm blood filled his mouth. Everything hurt, no, throbbed, and he swore his vision was starting to go black. was he breathing? He couldn't tell. When he heard nothing else, he opened his mouth slightly, forcing wavering words out. "I knew what I did wrong... as soon as I got home... I knew... I knew immediately afterward...." His vision grew even darker.

"The... t-the only reason I didn't come... the only r-reason I didn't go back to y-you... is I thought you'd be terrified- I thought you'd t-try and run and hurt yourself more, I thought I could only m-make things worse." His shoulders hunched more and he bit the inside of his cheek harder, swallowing the blood. "I s-stayed away for all t-those years o-only because I t-thought it would be b-best for you... if I would've k-known... I would've b-been there.. I would've been a-apologizing, fixing it, d-doing anything I could. If I t-thought someone f-from your clan w-would've waited long enough to k-kill me so I could apologize, I w-would've showed up at their doorstep, I would've d-done anything. I k-know I should've apologized e-earlier, when... when we first m-met up again, but I c-couldn't bring myself to b-bring it up, I didn't w-want to break what fragile hold I had..." His throat closed again and he tried to choke out more words, forcing them. "I w-wanted so badly to d-do something, but I d-didn't know how. I w-was a coward, a terrified s-spineless coward, and I c-can't believe I hadn't g-gone back." He swallowed another bout of blood and finished with the last thing he needed to say.

"Why are y-you here, Raegan? You s-said it yourself... I t-tried to kill you. I d-didn't go back. I'm a monster. Why a-are you here? With m-me?" He whispered, finally lifting his hand to grab a paper towel from a rack and lift it to his mouth, spitting the blood out. He couldn't choke down any more of it.

-

(I tried but it was still so long XD)