I decided to start a forum thread about my journey with my horse as we both begin a new chapter in our lives!

On April 10th 2021 at roughly 10:30 AM I had to say goodbye to an amazing horse, Sonnys Barlight (aka, Sunny). I had Sunny my entire life (literally! I'm 24!) and he was such a huge part of my life growing up. He saw me go from elementary school, to junior highschool, to highschool, and was still here when I took a huge leap in my life and joined the U.S. Navy. Through thick and thin my old Sunny Boy was always there to greet me at the gate no matter the weather and no matter how much time we had been apart. Sending my life time friend over the rainbow bridge was the hardest day of my life, with still being in the Navy I'm pretty far from home/family, so he was all I had that made living so far away feel like I was going to be alright. I stayed with him until the final moments, his head in my lap, stroking his cheek and humming the song "You Are My Sunshine" just like I always did when I would sooth him after a storm or from a bad spook. I felt his final heartbeat and listened to his final breath and I am at peace knowing that even at the end, even though I ultimately had to make that final decision, he was never alone in his last moments. He was by my side my entire life so the least I could do was be there to see him off. 27 years is a good lifetime for a horse, do I wish he had made it into his 30's? absolutely. Unfortunately his body started to fail him and his quality of life was starting to go downhill, I couldnt let him suffer just because saying goodbye was going to be hard on me, that would be selfish.

I remember going home afterwards, feeling so numb and lost, holding onto Sunny's halter as I called my Mom and told her what I had to do. I asked her to call my other family members and let them know because I didnt have the emotional strength to talk to anyone else. The week after his passing was a nightmare for me, I wasnt eating anything, I was breaking down into tears randomly at work, I had no idea what to do with myself, I was just a hot mess all around.

Then, 1 whole week after that day, I get a phone call from my grandma. She was so excited and happy to tell me what she did, one of her friends who runs a farm animal sanctuary found another horse for me! At first I was confused and honestly, a little upset. I had JUST lost my best friend, the wound was still fresh in my mind, getting another horse so soon after losing my boy just seemed almost disrespectful. After all, what horse in this entire world would ever be good enough to replace my Sunny Boy? Also why would I agree to take a horse I have never seen/met before? Having no idea what their temperment is, or even their medical history? That just sounds sketchy to me. However, shortly afterwards my grandma sent me pictures of the horse in question, and I felt the emotional wall I had put up in my mind start to crumble.

She was beautiful. Even with her matted mane, unkept hooves, dirty coat, she was absolutely beautiful to me. The man who owned her had done the right thing and reached out to the rescue, surrendering her and another horse because he was unable to take care of them properly. The rescue owner immediately contacted my grandma letting her know she had a horse I could have and without a second thought I said yes, I would take her. She had to stay with the rescue for a while to get all her vet/farrier care done before traveling to me and I would be lying if I said that few weeks of waiting for her wasnt torture. I was an emotional rollercoaster. Flipping between being excited to have a horse again, to immediatly feeling guilty for replacing Sunny so soon, to then getting angry with myself for even considering saying no to a horse who needs a loving home. Again, hot mess over here!

There was one night I layed in bed thinking to myself what I could name her, she is an OTTB and her racing name is Cactus Jane, and while that is a really cute name I'm a huge halloween nerd and I wanted to give her a "spooky" name and I couldnt decided between Morticia (like Morticia Adams) or Elvira (Mistress Of The Dark). The next day I got a call from my grandma saying the horses were safe at the rescue and the vet was on her way and at some point during our conversation the topic turned to what I wanted to name her. I hadnt told my grandma what names I was considering yet but before I could tell her she said to me, "I"m not sure what you're wanting to name her but I've been calling her Elvira." My jaw dropped. I got chills. I teared up a bit, and mentally decided, this was ment to be. I lose my boy and suddenly barely a week later another horse needs a home? Of all the names to name a horse both my grandma and I pick Elvira without discussing it prior? It all fell into place so easily.

After the vet and farrier checks I got the go ahead to organize and plan her transport from the rescue to me. No major health issues, she does have soft hooves and her front hooves have some small cracks but nothing that cant be fixed with the next 2 or 3 farrier visits. The day of her pick up from the rescue she loaded into the trailer like a dream and was calm and sweet with everyone there. I always wonder to myself what she could have been thinking in those moments, does she know how much I'm going to spoil and love her? Does she have any idea how much attention shes going to get from me and the owners of the boarding facility? Does she know that she will forever have a home with me and will never go hungry or thirsty? Does she know I'm going to have a bit of a hard time adjusting to her fiery personality after being so used to my sweet slow geldings personality? Does she know that its going to take weeks for me to stop bursting into tears when I think of him? Does she know that eventually, one day while standing with her in her stall, after crying on her shoulder, that I'm going to realize that no horse could ever replace Sunny, but no horse could ever replace Elvira either?

So many questions, but I cant wait to share with you guys mine and Elviras progress through this new chapter of our lives. Theres going to be rough times and easy times but as long as we get through them together I know we will be just fine.

Pictures of the day she was picked up from the rescue (:

The one's you've loved and lost, can never be 'replaced' by our 'new' loves. We carry their memories with us untiul the day we die.

So true, I'm so happy Sunny gave me such wonderful memories and I'm excited to see what memories Elvira and I will make! (:

I'm so sorry for the loss of Sunny, but Elvira is absolutely beautiful and you're going to give her such an incredible home ♡♡

Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss of you're beautiful boy. Elvira sounds like such a great horse, and I can't wait to see what comes in your future :)

Ahhh I love this!! I did a similar forum when I got my horse, and i've logged pretty much everything since the day i went to try him, to now which has been almost a full year. If you can remember to write about stuff, it's sooo worth it to go back on these forums and read these to see all your progress. I cant wait to see how your journey with Elvira goes, she's gorgeous!

Thank you, I really appreciate the support and lovely comments (:

I'm hoping to stay pretty consistant with posting at least once a week maybe twice (:

With the wildfires raging in California a state over it has been insanely smokey these past 2 weeks. Due to the extremely poor air quality I didnt want to push Elvira to do much and decided with the heat it would be a good day for a bath!

Before bath time, I took Elvira out of her stall and put her in the turnout pen to let her roll in the soft sand/dirt and get some exercise. She rolled a few times but then decided to walk one side of the fence line back and forth, like she was pacing. She did not appear in any kind of distress or anxiety, just strolling back and forth watching me get her bath shampoo ready. Eventually I got curious and decided to see if she would follow me around the turnout or if she would stay pacing the fence. Not only did she follow me all over that turnout, she had amazing manners! She stayed on my right side a few paces behind me, she turned when I would turn, and my favorite part, when I would stop she would stop! If I stopped and turned around she would take the 2 or 3 steps to come up and nuzzle me and if I took a few steps back she would back up a little as well! She wouldnt back up straight but I am more than happy that she backed up at all (:

As we left the turnout and headed towards the wash rack I was a little nervous since I had no idea how she would react to being hosed down. I know some horses love it and some horses see the hose and become world class rodeo broncs, but I had high hopes based on how relaxed she was during our little turnout exercise. She did amazing!! She LOVES water, even though the hose has weird water pressure sometimes she didnt mind at all! I was able to get her completely wet (except her head, I didnt want to spook her/make her fearful of the water) and put some shampoo on her without her even flinching. I did notice a small sore spot on her hip that we treated with a wound spray and I did find an odd bump on her last rib near her spine, after talking wth the boarding facility owner we decided that the vet take a look at it next time she comes out. Elvira doesnt like when we touch that spot but she doesnt seem uncomfortable moving around so we deemed it was not an emergency, but I'm curious as to what the vet thinks!

Pictures of Elvira posing in the smokey sunset after her bath! (:

Elvira is absolutely stunning!!