Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Ayuh," Norrie agreed. "Wanna know something even more terrifying? Think of how dumb the average person is, and then realize half of them are dumber than that." Now THAT was horrible to think about. A lot of people were just fucking stupid, and just went about their daily stupid lives doing stupid things like NPCs. How awful. They just went through life like I get up, I shower, I go to work, I work all day, I go home, I go to sleep. I get up, I shower, I go to work, I work all day, I go home, I go to sleep. I get up, I shower, I go to work, I work all day, I go home, I go to sleep.

"Well now you gotta be careful with that. If you seem too controlling and evil, they'll get scared and rise up against you. If you're too nice and fair all the time, then they'll get brave and rise up against you. Gotta find that unhappy medium," She said. If you find the perfect balance of evil and fair, then everyone will be content to live out their miserable little lives. (haha good xD) She wrinkled her nose a little and said, "More like 'oh look, this guys probably a bottom." Yeah, no, pink fluffy cuffs would NOT help his image whatsoever. People'd probably think he was just a submissive dude with a bondage kink.

Norrie was only partially watching what Axl was doing, like a distracted parent at the park. Freddy, on the other hand, was more watching Axl than he was focused on the truck. When she did finally look up, she studied him for a moment before saying, "Huh. Makes you look.. less intimidating." That was a fairly good thing in terms of assimilation. People'd be less inclinded to let terror be their first reaction upon seeing him what with him being less different-looking. And, bonus points, he could still strike fear into the hearts of others should he so choose. That was always a good thing.

Axl

-

His eyebrows crinkled inward and he flashed a worried look. "The average IQ in the US is 98... almost a fourth of all students graduating from high schools literally cannot comprehend more than a sentence. We are DOOMED. Well, you are. I will be off in Canada somewhere eating grizzly and sleeping under the stars." He flashed a grin. He refused to be stuck here forever. Nuh huh. He would die before deciding it was okay to be a slave for the rest of his miserable life. He would instead go find some mountains, build a little cabin up on a slope in the pines, and live there for the rest of his now happy little days.

.

"I want to make a statement at first, then I'd ease back into the unhappy medium." He agreed with a slight nod. Talking about pretending to be a god and taking over a little tribe was so entertaining. So many good ideas. They should do it more often. He wrinkled his nose and attempted not to gag at her words, the hair on the back of his neck lifting slightly. Stupid hackles. "Urgh. You're right. See, that's why there was sarcasm. It was always a terrible idea that I was opposed to." Axl stated. This was likely worse, but HE would be the one satisfying the bondage kink, not the other way around. Plus he didn't submit to no random fuckwad. Or anyone at all. He would rip their Throats out if they even suggested it.

.

Axl twitched his ear back slightly towards Freddy, feeling the kid's gaze on him and what he was doing. When Norrie spoke, he spared her a glance, inclining his head slightly. "That was the idea. Or, part of it." He shrugged. There were a lot of perks of not having to giant metal very sharp wings on your back. He wiped the last traces of blood off of his claws and lifted a hand to poke at his horns, firmly inbedded in his skull. He could really remove those things, but they were fucking ANNOYING. The amount of doorways he had to duck through sucked. He was tall in the first place, then those FUCKING HORNS made everything worse. The only thing that stopped him from cutting them off right there and then was the fact they would not ever grow back. ALSO the fact that they were true horns so they would grow with him, and if he ever got old, he'd have some impressive shit. He re-cleaned his workspace, putting the stuff away that he had used. He wasn't one to leave shit laying around everywhere. Axl then stalked over to Norrie, boots leaving prints on the dusty floor yet still silent as ever. "Anything on the agenda, Cap'n?" He asked sarcastically, tipping his head slightly towards the vehicle as he glanced at it.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Yeah, a lotta them have a tested third grade reading level," Norrie said, almost a little disgustedly. How the fuck were they dumb enough to still be stuck on run, Spot, run? The education system was such a fuckin disappointment. "Uh-huh. You had the chance to do so, you know," She snorted quietly. Why he chose not to take it, Norrie didn't think she'd ever truly know. Twas beyond the realm of understanding.

"There ya go, that's the way to do it," She agreed, "and if you want them to love you and not not obey out of fear and respect, give 'em little gifts of the modern age. Like a fuckin flashlight." Even primitve people would immediately understand the functionality and practicality of a flashlight, and then they'd probably make the day they were gifted said light into a holiday. "Accourse I'm right, but are you totally sure about that? Pretty sure you were the one that said 'of course, I'm no coward'," Norrie snickered, doing a hilariously terrible impression of Axl. HE was the one that went on about 'taking it in the ass', so there.

"Annnd lemme guess, the other part was you hate being a side sleeper?" She asked teasingly. Runner-up for a guess was the weight. That shit looked fuckin HEAVY. Useful, sure, but only sometimes. The rest of the time it just seemed like one helluva burden. "Uhh... nothing of utmost importance. Got any requests?" She answered when he came over. There was shit they could do, nothing that had to be done. Not that Norrie could think of, anyway. There probably was something that needed doing somewhere, but it wasn't coming to mind. And if it wasn't coming to mind, then it obviously wasn't that important. That was Norrie's logic, at least. Just another thing that most people might not agree with, and just another thing that they might get - you guessed it - a boot to the ass, usually preceeded by I don't remember askin you a goddamn thing. Then whack! Ow!

Axl

-

"How are they driving?" He winced. "I feel bad for the one person on the road with a brain. Likely they're gonna be the one to die cause they're bein' smart and everyone else is bein' moronic." He sighed. How humans got to be the top of the food chain, he had no clue. He fell silent at her words, looking a bit wilted. He fucking KNEW he had a chance to leave. He knew he could've been two states over by now. If they were thin states. He could've been FREE. But he didn't. Why? He didn't know. "I know that." He finally muttered. He was an IDIOT, he knew that much.

.

"Oo a flashlight. How modern and delightful. I'm sure they'd love that." He snorted, ears twitching. He cast a glowering look at her at her words. "For one, that was a TERRIBLE imitation of me. For two, you're right, I did say I wasn't a coward. Only a coward would let someone else take control of them and bind them up like a fucking puppet." He lifted his lip slightly, disgusted by the thought. It was like a sexual spin on the hell he had already been through.

.

"That wasn't a problem. I usually didn't sleep laying down." He made a face. "I didn't have to worry about them while hanging from chains." They usually just fell limp and hung offa his back like a dead weight. "The weight was probably the next worse thing, but since I've been carrying them for quite a while, it wasn't very bad." He added with a shrug. It's not like he was too weak to haul around some heavy ass wings. "Requests." He barked a flat laugh. "What do you think I'm gonna ask to do, go play pool? Maybe read a book?" He asked sarcastically. "I was hoping there was something that needed to be done, but there obviously isn't. Since I can't request something because you'll say 'What, can't be a little bored?' I guess I'll just wander back to the table and find something else to fix." He snorted with a slight eyeroll, rolling his shoulders slightly.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"They bribed the instructor," Norrie said. "And then they blame the victim. Even worse with drunk drivers killin people. If it's a rich kid they're like oooh, but Todd had such a promising future in water polo, maybe we should be a little lenient." Fuckin retarded. Not like that other guy DIED or anything, nosir. Fuck Todd. Fuck the guy who died, too. Fuck the world. "Uh-huh." Norrie guessed he didn't frigging know either. Even the abused dog'll run back home, she supposed.

"Well yeah, think about it. A smartphone ain't worth jack shit to them, and being people cast in darkness every night for centuries, imagine one day this guy shows up, proclaims he's a god, and gives you artificial light you can hold in your hand. That'd be fuckin mind-blowing," She said. What would they do with a phone, use Skype? Perhaps do their taxes? Keep up with the latest fashion trends? Puh-leez. "Okay tough guy, believe what you will," She snorted. Now, Norrie did in fact have some amount of morality; while she was thinking that he might just be a coward and that shit just scared him, she wasn't gonna say it because that just wasn't fuckin fair. Like making fun of someone deathly allergic to bees who'd come within an inch of DYING by bees for being afraid of them.

"Fair enough." She shrugged. "Guess now it still ain't gonna be a problem." Honestly, depending on how one was hung, that sounded like the dream of one with the chronically aching back. And something a chiropractor would sell, like those fancy fuckin beds that tried their hardest to pretend to be hospital beds. "One way to stay in shape," Norrie snorted. Then, in her damned best Draco Malfoy impression - which was spot on - she said, "I didn't know you could read." Just another standard response. "There's gonna be shit to do tomorrow, don't worry. Buuut since it looks like dinner ain't gonna happen, I've always wanted to see if a humvee could fit through a drive-thru," She suggested with a mischeivous twinkle in her eye. Logically it'd fit through SOME. At 7 feet wide and 6 feet tall, finding one of those some would be a bit of a challenge, but who said you had to? Just mow shit down and call it good. Not like a multimillion dollar corporation couldn't afford to fix it.

Axl

-

"Todd is the perfect name for this fuckwad." He snorted. Todd deserved to die. As did his parents. Probably Charles and Victoria Newton, rich because they grew famous cause of their last name, when they weren't even related to anyone important. His ear twitched at her agreement but he didn't speak a word... quite honestly, he knew exactly why he had come back, it just didn't make aaaaany fucking sense. Sure, the fact that he hasn't been beaten here did help. However, his brain was like Norrie this and Norrie that and he just wanted it to shut the fucccckup. He also had a clue as to why that happened. Which he REALLY didn't like. The bottom line was, most predatory hybrids had canine in them. This combined with a couple other things made it so they, very simply, bonded with one person. This is what makes them so good for military service. The hybrids that did get 'trained' would train with one person, always. Then, if they trusted that person, they'd bond to that person, protect them with their lives, and usually never trust anyone else. No one else could ever give the hybrid a command. They wouldn't listen. If that person were to die, that's where personalities come into play. All hybrids change after their bonded person dies, but most can re-bond. However, some don't. They get driven to the brink of insanity and are put down. Axl KNEW all this, and the fact that literal papers people had written were scrolling out in his vision made him quite unhappy. He dismissed it with an irritated twitch of his ears. Obviously that didn't completely happen, and he knew it. What he was afraid of was the beginning stages of that occurring. At first, the bond happened because of animal instincts. Wolves need a pack. Simple as that. Then the human side takes over and creates a relationship, but that part he could control. It was the stupid fucking animal instincts that he couldn't, like every month when he yearned to hunt. He couldn't control that. It was HORRID.

.

"Oh, I know how a flashlight could be useful." He responded drily. "I may not be Einstein, but I have some common sense and logic stuffed up in this skull of mine. Imagine if we gave 'em guns, though. So many deaths." He wrinkled his nose. "Whaaat, magical spear that can kill without touching them? LET'S TRY IT OUT ON EVERYBOOOOODDDDYYYYY." He rolled his eyes. Even imagining that ended badly.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and tried not to imagine removing her fingernails one by one. She fucking KNEW why. It was GOOD that she stopped there. But still, why? Why did she feel it necessary to point it out? Honestly, he knew she just didn't get it. That was really as there was to it. No one could ever get it. No human, at least. No person alive today was taken from their family as a baby, tortured almost every day of their live, only got out after 20 something years of this, and lived to tell the tale and bear the consequences. Sure, people could guess how emotionally scarring it would be for a 3 year old to have his arm blown off by a literal fucking bomb, but unless it happened to them, they'd never fully grasp it. His jaw tightened with anger- anger at the unfairness of his life. Yes, life wasn't fair, but there were children out there eating birthday cakes right now, adults that had jobs and went to a bar with their friends on the weekend, people falling in love because they could actually SEE ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON. Meanwhile, he had been torched on his birthday, he was a slave right now, trapped in his own prison, and he didn't even WANT love because he was too FUCKIKG MESSED UP to have REAL FUCKING EMOTIONS other than FUCKING ANGER. He was pissed off but he hid it, because why? His emotions didn't matter. He was supposed to be a hunk of meat and titanium that did what everyone wanted. If he had emotions he was weak, apparently. If he felt like dying because it would be better than living, he was weak. Did this matter to any person on this God forsaken planet? No.

.

"Nope. No problem at all." He responded flatly, ear twitching. At the Draco Malfoy voice, he arched an eyebrow. "I feel like I should be offended but I am too disappointed." Axl stated drily. "For one, good Malfoy impression. For two, the computer part of my brain was programmed like the internet, and I know everything normal human know. I found most of this shit out by hanging from my delightful little chains, doing an internal Google search, and being like: THEY PUT KETCHUP ON EGGS WHAT SAVAGES." He snorted, shaking his head. "On that note, my brain did quickly learn how to read around the time a normal humans would. And, bonus, with my retina scanner and computer brain, I can read EXTREMELY fast." He added with a wrinkle of his nose. Not a very useful skill, but what the hell. Still a skill.

"Interesting wondering. I'm in." He commented, tilting his head as he thought about it. (I was just driving in a random town one day when a humvee stopped at the stoplight before driving past me. I literally just stared. Like who the FUCK drove a HUMVEE for FUN in a TOWN) "Well, most drive-thrus typically have a 9 foot clearance.... the width would be harder to accommodate, I'm sure." He mused, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought. "I bet it'd fit in most, but just barely." He finally concluded. "Guess we'll have to see how good your driving skills are." He added with a smirk.

-

(I have no clue why this one was so long. I literally posted it at 6:40 something am GT because my puppy woke me up 0-o)

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"I know," Norrie said, grinning, "He's probably got a cheerleader little sister who never grew out of the pony phase and rode a six-figure horse to prom before putting it back in a pasture to be visited maybe once every two weeks and be taken care of by a groom named Marquavius and be fed the most expensive equine sport diet even though it's just a pasture pet." That sounded like every rich, bratty female who'd ever screamed at her mommy I WANT A PONY and her mother has no backbone and gave in and bought the most expensive one she could find just because of the logic of "the more expensive it is, the better it is". Then that was a perfectly good equine wasted on a spoiled brat when it could be owned by someone who'd actually appreciate it. Same kind of vibe as teenage guys who JUST got their driver's license and has a really fuckin expensive sports car. It made no sense. Work your ass off and buy something with good fuel mileage with your own goddamn money, don't make mommy and daddy pay for everything.

"God no don't give 'em guns. They'll forget you're a god and start smiting people themselves," Norrie protested. "They'd wipe themselves off the face of the earth just because they decided it'd be a good idea to test the divine murder weapon." The jungle folks would probably divide themselves into two groups and open fire on each other, maybe put up a wall. Then one side would raid the other, take hostages, and put them in primitive concentration camps. They'd cause bajillions of deaths, and then go out by blowing themselves up. Or the other side forms a ressistence and takes them all down and everyone dies. OR instead of turning on eachother, they turn on the god that gifted them high-velocity lead and then move on to conquer the world because of their stealth and hunting skills learned from generations spent in the jungle. Then the primitive people with guns don't know how, say, a nuclear reactor works but since everyone who DOES is dead, all the nuclear shit explodes and it's a manmade mass extinction event and the entire planet is uninhabitable for hundreds of thousands of years. THEN instead of dying, no no, some of the jungle people make it into a fallout shelter and wait out the worst of it and then live in the radioactive remains of Earth like cockroaches, scavenging anything remotely edible and then eventually gaining space travel and moving on to colonize Mars like Stephen Hawking wanted.

"Thanks," Norrie said smugly. "Oh. Mygod. You're no fun," She grumbled. "Ye-es, tis my personal mission to make ketchup on eggs taboo." Lotta people wouldn't do something that others saw as weird or gross, so making it socially unacceptable was better than banning it. "Good for you. Maybe I ought to put you to work in a library or something," She snorted. Booooring. That was like, capital punishment of the non-violent variety.

"Good," She said, grinning. (omg that's totally gonna be me one day. I want one SO. DAMN. BAD. xD) "That's what I was thinking," She said, nodding, "I think as long as it's not one of the dumb ones with the really tight hairpin turn we'll be fine." Those drive-thrus were just retarded. Not everyone drives a fuckin tesla or honda civic dammit, some people drive TRUCKS. And OLDER ones that don't turn so tight. "Really fuckin good, thanks," Norrie snorted.

She set off toward the big fuckin garage near The Shop where all the vehicles were kept. Norrie liked it for how well organized it was, with winter shit all together and not-winter shit also together. She immediately went over to her favorite humvee, and while there was no real difference between it and the others, this one was just better. The key was left in the ignition, and the motor roared to life with the most delightful sound in the world. Before pulling out she tossed her lead slinger on the floor in the back, and then, just for funsies, ran over one of the to-be-smushed idiot's legs. A glance in the rearview mirror showed that it now looked like a well-dressed flattened armadillo on the side of a road somewhere. "You can fuck with the radio, I don't care," She said, just cruisin' on down the dirt road. Part of her brain was trying to tell her to romp on it and whip that mofo sideways, but it was DEFINITELY a VERY BAD idea. That was what the new shit truck was for, anyhow.

(xD Poor west. My dog had the shits and left a crap-circle on the kitchen floor o.O)

-

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

Norrie made a face and said, "Imagine being fully grown and needing someone else to wash your ass. No thank you." You'd get enough of that when you got old and were put in a home, why would you WANT that? "And they have someone to play the violin while they eat breakfast, and need a servant to pass the salt at the dinner table." Just fuckin spoiled. Ridiculous.

"Hey, if you get the government behind it and say it's a social experiment, nobody'd argue," She snorted. Oh, they're giving people guns to see what happens? Okay! I'm a little curious myself but would never have SUGGESTED it, but since they're doing it, it must be okay! Dumbasses.

"Oh alright, fair enough," Norrie sighed in surrender. He was funner than Jackson, at least. That was something. She looked at him with a mix of horror and disgust on her face. "Did they also put hotsauce on donuts and drink outta the toilet?" (Blegh. That's terrible T-T) While Norrie occaisonally dipped her fries in a mix of barbeque sauce and mayonnaise, she didn't think that was so bad compared to ketchup and ranch on mac n cheese. Mayo and bbq was GREAT on a burger, and if there was any extra sauce the fries got it. But come on, KETCHUP and RANCH. That shit probably makes God angry. Just like fountains; artificial rainbows make God angry! (American Dad reference >,>) "Oh yeah uh-huh. You lack the leg strength," She snorted teasingly. That was definitely not something she was willing to bet on.

"Not all of them, I think In N Out has good drive-thrus, maybe Popeye's. Hard to say," She said, "I think curbs being run over is more to do with people just being shitty drivers." All them with no spacial awareness and ran curbs over and just said oopsie! like a fuckin idiot.

Norrie just about choked trying to stifle a laugh. "Oh christ in a handbasket. NOT what I meant, but suit yourself." MAYBE she shouldn't have worded it the way she did but HOLY FUCK that caught her off guard. She was still thinking about it and giggling inside when they came into town, and it was fucking hilarious to see people stop and stare at the bigass military vehicle. Another bonus; people tended to get their asses in gear when Norrie pulled up behind them while they were just piddling down the road like a grandma. "Ohhkay, keep your gogglers open for a fast-food joint," She said.