(Hey, puppy's more important anyway xD)

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Yeah, well I'd fuckin HOPE so," Norrie said, rolling her eyes. If he WASN'T mortified with himself for not joking, Norrie'd at the VERY LEAST make him carry a potted plant around to make up for the oxygen he wasted. "'Course they're wrong, I never said they weren't," She stated flatly. Children were always off the table when it came to Norrie's dirty jokes. The only time they WEREN'T was if one was looking for a pedophile- whoever laughs is probably him. Or affiliated with said pedo. Even so, guilty by association. You get slapped and you get slapped and you- well, you get whacked over the head with a methhead's severed leg!

"No the fuck it ain't," She snorted. She was so cool she could freeze hell. She was so cool her mother almost died of hypothermia while giving birth. "Only mostly? What's the other reasons?" Norrie prodded in such a way that made it clear he wasn't getting outta this one easily. One couldn't say something like that and think they weren't going to be interrogated for it. Axl was no exception, except maybe for the fact he was exceptionally odd. That was about it. "I can tell," She grumbled. Neither of them were very good shutter-uppers. Huh. "Quite the contrary, I'm actually feeling nice and warm, thanks," She said, ignoring the snowflakes that clung to her. No big deal. She reached down casually, scooped up a handful of snow, and started packing it into a ball, annoyingly slowly and with exaggerated care. She managed to pour about three minutes worth of work into a single snowball, making sure it was exactly perfect. Then, all casualness lost, she lobbed it.

(Always, the little spoiled bugger xD)

-

Honestly, Axl would be scared of himself if he meant some of the things he said. He said some CRAZY shit. Almost completely to make other people laugh. Or because he found it amusing. Or to make other people horrified. Either ways, it was a win win win situation. He would deserve to be gutted and hung on a gutter somewhere as an example if he wasn't joking. If he had ACTUALLY railed a hormonal teenage boy- or had THEM rail HIM- good LORD that would be bad. Talk about going to hell. He'd be scaring the devil at that point. And if he scared the devil, he DEFINITELY shouldn't be around children... although he did have a soft spot for the little monsters. Ever since... well, ever since he had watched the people that tortured him kill a child in front of his own eyes. It had been a test, to see if he would kill anything they told him to. They set him loose with a child and told him to kill it. He obviously didn't. Then when they went after the child, he tried to protect it. They restrained him before forcing him to watch as they shot the child anyway, saying 'we can't have any witnesses to the top secret stuff we're doing here'. Pretty much, anyway. A year later, Axl had managed to kill the man that gave the order. He was punished horribly, of course, but he needed revenge for the innocent life that had been taken.

.

He grinned at her irritated little snorts- evidence his jokes were, in fact, doing their job. Taunting people was one of his favorite past times. "Well, it'd be sad to let the only person who would engage in a snowball fight with me perish, so there's that." He pointed out. "And the fact you'd be going against my morals... mostly, anyway. I don't kill people who haven't done nothing to me. Or let them die, in this case, to an extent. So no freezing to death, m'kay?" He said with a snort. Both viable reasons. Ones that were concrete and didn't hint at anything else. He much preferred to speak instead of shut up- even when he really should shut up. Usually it was like: SHUT your FUCKING mouth RIGHT NOW before I STAB YOU' and he usually ended up getting stabbed because he made some smart ass comment. "Riiight. Whatever you say." Axl snorted, waiting patiently for her to finish, waiting until the snowball had almost got to him, then swiftly stepped aside and let it splatter on a tree. "All that work, wasted. Tsk tsk." He shook his head with a teasing look, flinging some free snow at her so it covered her before squishing a snowball together and throwing it at her shoulder.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Uh-huh. So one snowball fight is all it takes to win the kitty over?" Norrie teased. "Wellll, I won't try to freeze to death, but I can't promise it won't happen." With Norrie, just about anything was possible. Whether that was a good thing or not, nobody knows. Nobody ever WOULD know. Probably. Hard to said what people would and wouldn't know. Like before the wheel was invented, nobody thought we're never going to make this round thing that'll change the course of humanity forever. Dramatic example, but you get the point. "Well do YOU know if I'm warm or not?" She said pointedly. Well, thermal vision was technically a thing, so the question was more or less did he possess it. Details details. "That's what the nurses said when you were born," She huffed as he easily sidestepped her throw. She growled and dusted herself off, barely managing to ignore the snowball he threw - insult to injury, or rather, injury to insult - and narrowed her eyes at him. "First you don't want me to freeze to death, then you do that. Would you prefer I lie down and take a nap, make hypothermia a little easier?" She said sarcastically. A nap sounded good right now, though. Or just sleep in general. It was getting late, but Norrie REALLY didn't want to admit defeat. Pick and choose your battles, she'd been told countless times, and she picked this one. This was a battle worth fighting. And winning. Definitely winning. If only one could pack snow around a grenade... well now the idea wasn't to INJURE him, dammit. Maybe firecrackers. That's be hilarious. Or just throw firecrackers at people in general. OR to walk into an airport and start playing that clip from Spongebob where he yells at Gary that he's got a bomb strapped to his chest. All fantastic ideas. But first sleep. Rome wasn't built on sleep-deprivation. Maybe it was, hard to say.

(Forgive me for my shortness dear westward facing comrade, tis late and I grow ever so tired T-T)

"My systems haven't been programmed to deal with that kind of name calling without initiating the murder sequence, please revert to the base code to view the issue." Axl droned in a monotone robot like voice, shaking his head. She was insufferable. Anyone else would've been torn limb from fucking limb right now. "You ARE trying to freeze to death." He pointed out, studying her skeptically. Not dressed for cold weather, check. Covered in freezing snow, check. Night growing colder, check. Winds blowing harder, check. He knew for a fact that her body temperature was dropping, from a couple different sources of input. He crossed his arms over his chest as she challanged him. "As a matter of fact, I DO." He replied haughtily. "I can switch on thermal vision in my right eye, and your body temperature is around 96.6 degrees right now. The scale that is acceptable for most people is 97-99 degrees, but most people hover around 98.6. You've always hovered a little lower... 97.9. So, you're body temperature has dropped, not considerably, but noticeably." He stated with a slight smirk. Take THAT. Considering most doctors say it's not normal to have a body temperature under 97.8, she was WELL below that.

"That would almost be insulting if there were any nurses there when I was born." He gave an apologetic smile. "Try, that's what my mother said when I was born. That'd be closer." Axl offered helpfully, smirking at her little rant. "Well, I said I didn't WANT you to freeze to death. I WILL win this fight, one way or another." He replied sweetly. He could sort of tell she was getting a little tired- not much, but he bet her melatonin levels were starting to rise. Nothing a little alcohol couldn't fix, honestly, but still. Since she didn't throw a snowball back at him, he waited patiently to see what her next tactic would be. Probably another sad slow throw that he may just let hit him out of sympathy. NAH. He wouldn't do that. Then he'd lobb two more at her, and this could go on for a while.

-

(No problem, shorter is easier xD)

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"OooOoh, murder sequence, how scary," Norrie taunted. She was definitely, one hundred percent, without a doubt, insufferable. "Not TRYING, it's just.. an unfortunate turn of events," She sniffed. It's not like she went out, thought hmm, I wish to freeze to death! and then buried herself in snow and was actively trying to die. No, the GOAL was to WIN at a SNOWBALL FIGHT but APPARENTLY that wasn't gonna HAPPEN since BOTH of them were STUBBORN ASSHOLES. Norrie couldn't help but think huh, yeah, I do run colder than most before huffing, "Well that's EXTERNAL temperature, so long as my INTERNAL tempurature stays above 95 I'll be fine. OBVIOUSLY I'm GOING to be a LITTLE colder on the OUTSIDE, kitty." Duh. That's just kind of what happens when you go out in the snow. Late in the evening. Just because you use one of them fancy-shmancy laser thermometers on your forehead while standing in the SUN doesn't mean you have a fever. Same concept. "Ha, no, your mother couldn't say much of anything; she was too busy ralphing her guts out at the sight of you," Norrie snorted. One helluva visual, too. A mother so revolted by her own child that she can't keep her stomach while looking at him. That was even worse than a face only a mother could love, since she COULDN'T. "Riiiight. When I could just leave you here," She said, pulling the humvee's key from her pocket and jangling it at him before stuffing it away again. While she COULD, she'd also get in even more trouble for kidnapping and abandoning him. Yay. She scooped up more snow and chucked it, slowing only slightly to press it enough to keep its shape. The next idea was to snap a stick off of a nearby tree and whack him with it if he didn't back down.

"I am choosing to ignore the sarcasm for the sake of your tongue." Axl stifled a haughty sniff, putting it out of his mind. "Uh huh. Whatever you say." He rolled his eyes. She was REFUSING to give up which meant she was TRYING to freeze to death. Period. He flexed the fingers on his cyborg arm with a snort at her words, shaking his head. "Darling, that is your internal temperature." He stated very drily, brushing some stray snow offa his arm. It did not deserve to be there. "Call me kitty again, I dare you." His eyes narrowed as he looked up at her. He really needed to think up a good way to punish her without murdering her. She could NOT call him KITTY and get away with it, that was the LEAST dignified thing he had EVER been called. Which spoke fathoms, considering his background. ALSO, he may just have to offer a truce... if she stopped calling him kitty, he wouldn't call her darling. Maybe that would work. If it DIDN'T, he would work EVERY FIDDLESTICKING PET NAME in the PLANET into his words WHENEVER he was speaking to her. "Thank you for your incredible description of that. I will do my best to rid the vivid imagery from my mind, but it may not be possible." he wrinkled his nose. Helpful, Norrie. Very helpful. "Uh, if you left me here, I'd be HAPPIER. I can probably make due without my wings. HOWEVER, you will be charged with stealing and possible destruction of government property... so ha." he smirked. Maybe his importance WAS helpful for once. He broke the snow in the air with his arm and threw three more at her, then scooped up snow in his arms, jumped towards her, and spattered it all over her. "I am not giving up." Axl pointed out with a huff. (Sorry it is short, gotta go)

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Eat shit," Norrie huffed, sticking out her tongue childishly. This was a game she could play all damn day, no problem. "Yeah, duh, thanks for realizing," She said, rolling her eyes. OBVIOUSLY whatever she says goes. That's how it works. Deal with it. "And how the fuck do you know that?" She asked, narrowing her eyes a little. Fuckin magic, man. Nothing else to it. He was just a goddamn magician. Or, at least the shitty kind that shows up to kids birthday parties hungover[or possibly currently hammered] and pull quarters from behind said kids' ears. "Okay, kitty. What are you gonna do?" She taunted. Norrie was totally the biggest pain in the ass since people stopped rectally impaling others as punishment. [Now they just do it for fun] AND she wouldn't be bought with bribery or truces. Not on this subject, at least. Some other times she could be bought, but not now. Nuh-uh, this was far too entertaining. "Yeah yeah, you have fun with that, kitty," She said flatly. Of COURSE she was helpful, she was never NOT helpful. Besides, she hadn't even depicted anything vivid. She could've gone into more detail, but in a rare display of decency she HADN'T. "Uh-huh. Well then enjoy your snowball fights with birds, deer, and rocks, since those'll be your ONLY opponents from her on out," Norrie sniffed. Maybe corpses of frozen hikers too, but in Norrie's experience they didn't fight back too much. When Axl attacked, Norrie counter-attacked immiately, body-slamming him as hard as possible, though she tried not to throw her weight into his broken ribs. Didn't need to kill him, after all.

"I'd rather not." Axl rolled his eyes as she stuck her tongue out, his voice sarcastic. Per usual. He ignored her comment and smirked at her question, rubbing his jaw. "I'd prefer to keep some things secret." He replied sweetly, or about how sweetly he got, which was like bleach instead of cyanide. "Well, I know a lot of rather unflattering names, sugar pie. I could change them every sentence, sweetheart. I'm sure you'd be fine with that, honey, right?" He stated sarcastically, staring back at her defiantly. He wasn't gonna lose that fight, either. [Unlike Leo] he did not give up easily. On anything he thought worth fighting. This was one of those things. He spent her next comment mentally scrolling through his list of the most annoying Nicknames he could find. "I wouldn't stay here and have a snowball fight with animals, doll. I'd be gone before you realized what mistake you made." He sniffed haughtily back. He was only doing this now to uphold his dignity. If he wasn't an arrogant son of a gun, he would've stopped a literal flippin' hour ago because he couldn't feel his skin and it was getting disturbingly red. As she shifted her weight after he attacked, he noticed and dug his foot into the snow, then he was like a brick wall. He barely budged an inch as she slammed into him... weight advantage. The throbbing pain that had been dully present for all this was now a stabbing pain, probably had turned into that when he jumped out of the tree, but it only feuled his next move. His leg shot out and hooked beneath hers, on the back of her knees, jerking back towards him as he pushed her shoulder back so she didn't fall forward. A simple knee buckling maneuver that would easily bring anyone to their knees, as it was a weak spot on humans. "Is this even a snowball fight anymore or are you just trying to maintain some scraps of control?" He asked with a taunting grin, fangs flashing.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Fine, keep your secrets, asshole. I could probably find out from the scientists who fucked you up in the first place," Norrie retorted. Everything they did should've been permanantly recorded on Axl's file, Norrie just hadn't cared enough to read the whole damn thing. "Good for you, you used condom. Go lick a gay stripper's balls," She said flatly. Honestly, what Axl'd called her was annoying as shit, yes, but not worse than that one half-drunk handsy fuckwad who called Norrie 'baby doll' and thought he was such hot shit he probably looked over his shoulder to see if his ass was smoking before he wiped. Norrie came dangerously close to demonstrating to him how her swiss-cheese-inator worked, but in the end he walked away with a broken nose hurt pride, but otherwise in tact. "Accourse not. You said you were going to Canada. There's snow and shit up north," She snorted sarcastically. She growled angrily as she sunk to her knees against her will, knowing there wasn't a whole lot she could really do against him. Well, anything that he'd walk away from alive and somewhat okayish. "I think it's just you trying to compensate for something," She said, grinning wolfishly.

(sorry its short I gotta run T-T)

"You coooouuuullllddd, but one, is it really that important, and two, would you really waste the energy either hunting down and talking to the right scientists or reading through the file which I know to be at least 50 pages?" Axl asked with a snort. And that was only a recording of the stuff that had happened after he was 'rescued' [HA] from the hybrid fighting ring. The fighting ring was almost ten years of his life, and that sucked only a little less. He did not appreciate having to kill hundreds of other hybrids, as those fights were fights to the death. First to die lost. He had never lost a fight, hence... him still being alive. "I'd prefer not to, princess." He replied with a wrinkle of his nose. "Yes there's SNOW, but snowballs fights are NOT the only thing I could do in SNOW. I could take up snowboarding." He huffed. Actually, that sounded cool as hell- going up to the topish of a mountain and flying down on a skinny board where your feet were attached together? Sign him up. He could also go snowmobiling, equally enticing. He'd get one of the mountain ones that could go in deep snow. "That's cruel." Axl whined at her words, whacking her in the head, albeit gently. "But I can take a couple low blows, so keep trying." He flashed a deadly smirk. It's not like he hadn't heard it all before. According to most people, he was useless, horrible, wretched, powerless, a slave, a puppet, a toy, etc. Someone to be controlled, that kinda thing. He had heard it ALL, and he didn't care enough about Norrie to care what the baboons she said. (Tis fine, I have to run as well)