Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Well, just a little," Norrie said, and held up one hand with the thumb and forefinger indicating about as much. "Okay, so, if you DID want to, you WOULDN'T, but since you DON'T want to, you WILL?" She asked. Yeah, made sense. "And good luck finding one of those, I'm the only gal here who's both willing to put up with you and not old enough to be your mother," She snorted. And by 'put up with' she really meant 'won't run away screaming or the likes'.

(Lol, didn't you say something about patience being a virtue? ... though I choose to believe it's really patience is a bird's shoe xD)

"Oh thank god. I was afraid I got stuck with a man-child," She said with an exaggerated sigh of relief. If he WAS a snot-muncher, she'd totally put superglue on his finger.

"Uh-huh. Not like that statement helps your case, though," She snickered. He was never getting outta that one. Nuh-uh, nosiree. His reaction only made it better; Norrie guessed she'd just found one of very few things he couldn't come up with a quick and not-so-painless comeback for.

She guessed Axl'd heard the last whiney little bitch trying to get away and gone after him... or he'd switched alliances and gone WITH him. Norrie didn't really care at the moment, and set to work dragging mangled corpses and piling them up. The bastards were HEAVY, but luckily not professional plate cleaners, so it wasn't an impossible task. They left muddy red trails in the dirt and stained Norrie's hands, and she'd gotten four of them together when she heard Axl call her. She trotted over to him with a grumble, and scowled down at the piddly little asswipe. "Good job. Now what do you want me to do with him?" She asked. "And did you just.. leave the truck running? I think I hear it." That thing was spare parts and fuel to be siphoned out of it. Or possibly an extra beater-truck. Either way you bet your ass that thing was gonna be confiscated. Yoink, bitches.

Axl, Professional Sayer Of Raunchy Jokes

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He lifted his eyebrows slightly. "The point BEING that I wouldn't flirt with YOU because you wouldn't take it so well. What I'm DOING is entertaining MYSELF thank you very much." Still, that about summed it up. "I don't understand what people find so revolting about me. Everyone likes a good vampire romance novel, right? Well I'm the novel come to life! Totally handsome, tall, dark, fangy, wings, horns, the whole shaboozle. How come people fantasize over those characters in books, but when they come to real life, everyone's like 'AGH MONSTER IT GONNA EAT US ALIVE RUN FOR OUR SHITTY LITTLE LIVES'." Axl huffed, shaking his head. "Unbelievable." I mean, sure, people called him a monster and said he looked terrible, which did offend him a little, but why the FUCK did they like those books then? Why did they read stuff about werewolves and shit? What's so appetizing about THOSE characters but not HIM, the real deal? 100 percent totally unfair.

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(I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUE MY OWN)

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"You absolutely did NOT get stuck with a 'man-child'. You got stuck with a deranged half beast thingermajig that makes bad jokes and likes the smell of fear." He pointed out simply, his tone indicating it was the most obvious and normal and common thing in the world.

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Axl's ears twitched irritably. "It does help my case. If I hadn't just heard a fucking bomb I wouldn't have gone into fight or flight mode and I wouldn't have done what I did." He stated with a scowl. Maybe he could find a way to erase her memory. In any case, he had better things to focus on.

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"Good job? Oh yes, like I brought him back to be PRAISED. I don't give a flying fuck what you do with him. Hang him on the wall for his comrades to see to know not to come here again. Oh- WHOOPS, forgot. They're dead. MAYBE you should INTERROGATE the LIVE PERSON and ask WHY THE HELL they BLEW UP YOUR BASE. But I guess I wouldn't know, I'm just an intelligent weapon trained for military and battle work." He exclaimed, jaw tightening. "Oh I apologize your highness, in my rush to apprehend the suspect I may have left the vehicle started. Let me go back and shut it off for you." His voice held so much sarcasm it might've made anyone else's ears bleed. He flared his wings and took off, eyes narrowed as he whisked over the trees and back to the truck. Axl landed outside and shut it off. He then flew back towards the trees and found the tallest one he could, landing in the top of it on a sturdy looking branch. He sat down with an exasperated sigh and propped his leg up, resting his hand on it. Right now, this very instant, he was free. He could fly away and never look back. Why the FUCK wasn't he? He could be lost in a forest by now, but he was sitting here, ignoring the obvious reason why he wasn't leaving. For the first time in his life, he had met a human that wasn't insufferable. Someone who was actually interesting. Fun to be around. He didn't want to ditch that. It was rare to find a human like that. On the other hand, if he went back, he'd be a captive again. He may not be able to get out next time. There may never be another chance like this. Axl tilted his head back and stared at the sky, mind feeling broken. All his life, he was so SURE of what he wanted. Freedom. Now that he had it, he was thinking about throwing it all away, for a HUMAN nonetheless. What was WRONG with him?

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"So you don't consider offering to find out if the rumors about you being the micropenis maniac are true or not doesn't count as flirting in any way, shape, or form? Got it, thanks," Norrie said. "First, I've never once even implied you were revolting, second, I don't fucking know, maybe they realize some fantasies are better if they stay that way. Just because people make hentai of frankenstein's monster doesn't mean they're gonna go grave robbing just to fuck a corpse," She huffed exasperatedly. Maybe they just realized that all their vampire-lust was misplace or some shit. (I swear to god this rp is gonna be the death of me x'D)

(exactly! And my christmas song, sung under my breath while suffering through family gatherings: deck the halls and not your family falalalallala, you cannot afford bail money falalalalallala)

"Oh good, that's WAY better." For once, she didn't say it with sarcasm. Jackson was a suspected booger-eater [if he WAS, he was very sneaky] and look at that idiot. A deranged half beast thingermajig that makes bad jokes and likes the smell of fear was definitely a step up.

"Aww, so I'm important enough for it to infect your subconscious," She said sappily, her grin widening. Infect was definitely the right word. Like a black slime mold.

Norrie shrugged and said, "Well maybe I ought to skin him and grill him, he looks meaty enough. And I thought you might enjoy interrogating him more than me." And that was saying something considering she'd get quite the kick outta beating the thing on the ground within an inch of his life. "No, I was just giving you shit," She muttered, shaking her head, but let him go. She had other things to be doing... like dealing with the deserter on the ground. "Now then... what to do first? You don't need fingers, do you?" She purred, grinning maliciously. The fellow one the ground shook his head quickly enough that Norrie thought he'd hurt himself, blubbering something about his fingers being important. "Oh, you need those? How about feet?" Again with the blubbering about how he did in fact need them. "Well did you stop to think WE need cooks? I'm pretty sure you blew at least one of them up," She growled, all hints of a smile gone. He just choked out a sad excuse of an apology, earning himself a hearty kick in the ribs, which made him gasp and cough.

Axl, Professional Sarcastic Responses At The Drop Of A Dime

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Axl arched his eyebrows innocently. "Oh, not with you. If I were to flirt with you, I'd be offering you the chance to yell at people or torture a prisoner." He answered airily. "Just to point out, however, as a last ditch hail Mary effort... you are sorely mistaken." He sniffed, then switched gears. "I'm totally taking that as a compliment and blowing it way out of proportion. I KNEW you think I looked MAJESTICALLY HANDSOME. So perfect most humans can't look at me without screaming in awe. Every cell flawless if you ignore the everything." He waved a hand in the air in a glorious indication of everything. Just ignore most of it, and he was a striking figure. "That makes little sense, but it must be a human thing. I guess that part of my mind can understand it." He wrinkled his nose slightly. Terrifying horror creatures that weren't real? Seeeexy. Terrifying horror creatures that were real? Monsters! Mm... nope, no sense. The cyborg part was overruling the emotional human part. (I know xD. My brain is slowly shriveling more with each egotistical Raunchy joke XD)

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(Lmfao that is perfect. Not me storing it in memory 0-o xD)

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"I'm glad you think so." He snorted. In his personal opinion, he would be a great friend to have. A bit insane, but weren't we all, with wings and the ability to rip apart your enemies. Sounded perfect. A long time ago, he had wished for a hybrid friend, until he realized most of them were MUCH less sophisticated than him. They were all like RAWR CLAW DIE ARGH and he was like WHAT THE FUCK I AM ONE OF YOU CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LIKE CIVILIZED HYBRIDS!? And then he usually ended up killing them. He had given up on that about 3 years into the illegal hybrid fighting ring phase of his life.

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"It is taking all of my self control to finish the job I so rashly stopped." Axl muttered under his breath, claws flexing. He was being an IDIOT. How could he do this to himself?

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"Have yourself a barbecue, sure." He snorted, then paused for half a second. Without a word, he continued on his way. That DID NOT change things. NO.

When he was sitting there, he thought of this. A quick snarl under his breath and he spread his wings, falling out of the tree. He whisked quickly back, claws now sheathed. When he spotted Norrie standing over the guy on the ground, he folded his wings in and landed with a thump a couple feet away, gaze immediately on the coward. "Are you attempting to get anything out of him or just beating him up for fun?" He asked gruffly, tucking his wings into him and stalking forward to the other side of the man, distancing himself from Norrie.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"That shows both how much and how little you know about me. That's generally something Jackson would offer me after royally fucking something up, and he's think Viagra is that big fuckin waterfall," Norrie said. Yeah, no, that was more of an I'm-sorry-please-forgive-me-beat-them-up-instead, not so much flirting. "Mm, majestically handsome is quite the overstatement, don't you think? From a utilitarian point of view, you're pretty damn alright. From an aesthetic one? Not just good, but good enough," She snorted. He wasn't an eyesore, at least. And if you tilt your head... squint..... close one eye....... close the other......... he looked normal. "Like I said, I don't fuckin know. I'm just guessing." She shrugged. (pretty soon we'll be sharing a single brain cell if we keep this up xD)

"Yeah, be very glad. I put superglue on snot-munchers fingers - even small children - and you definitely wouldn't be exempt from that." Maybe that's why, if Jackson was indeed a booger-gobbler, he was so sneaky. He didn't wanna have his finger stuck up his schnoz. If so, Norrie had to hand it to him, it was the biggest display of intelligence she'd seen from him.

"Oh goody, ya hear that pal?" Norrie said, "Somebody's gettin COOKED." The helpless sack of dogshit went even paler, if that was possible, and he looked like Casper the Motherfuckin Ghost.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, it actually took some effort to keep from smiling when Axl came back. Not a smug see-I-knew-you'd-be-back smile, but an actual I'm-glad-you're-back one. Fuck. "Uh, mostly the latter. 'Twas a personal offense he committed, so I'mma treat it as such. For now," She said. Nobody gets to blow diddlyfuck up around Norrie and not get punished for it. ESPECIALLY where FOOD is prepared and served. That was a crime punishable by death, and exepmt of the law forbidding cruel and unusal punishment. Not only was this shitter a terrorist, he'd picked the wrong place to terrorize. Now he'd be lucky if Norrie didn't shove a flashlight so far up his ass his tonsils would be playing shadow-puppets.

Axl, Professional Sayer Of Fuck

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"Welll, two things, considering I met you TODAY I think I'm doing pretty good, and second... I'm not offering it to you so you don't kill me. And.. uh... add on... he thinks WHAT?" He gave her an incredulous look, eyebrows drawing together. "I think he needs a lobotomy..." If it was that bad, there was nothing you could do. He would understand if Jackson thought an apple was a phone, but thinking Viagra was the waterfall? Who the fuck were his parents and what had they done to him? "Tis not." He wrinkled his nose slightly, debating her words. "I'll take THAT as a compliment as well. From what little I know about you, that's pretty damn good." He finally stated. Better than he was expecting. How delightful. "Sounds like an okay guess." He mused, still thinking. Those fuckwads. They liked to imagine something but when it came into real life, AGH SCREAM DIE. He wasn't going to fucking KILL THEM. (That's better than what I have now :D)

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"No special treatment for me. Alright then. I will be thankful that I'm not a man-child." He snorted. Her words were quite interesting. He probably would've phrased it differently, but man-child really put it into perspective.

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Axl dipped one wing down and poked the daggers still in the guy's hands with a sharp Feather, studying it skeptically. "I can help, not that you need it." He tucked his wings back in and crouched over the shit weasel, staring at them for a moment. This guy seemed like the type of elephant shit hippo to be more afraid of being hurt than his loved ones being hurt, so if Axl found a particularly weak spot, this could be fun. His claws slowly unsheathed and he brushed it down the man's face gently, eyes narrowed in thought. They whimpered quietly, someone growing even more pale. "What are you afraid of?" He mumbled, flicking a finger against the man's nose. "Broken bones?" He ran his hand down to their finger and pushed it backwards, slowly, until it snapped. There was a garbled sob. "Lost phalanges?" He suggested with a tilt of his head, moving his cyborg hand to the man's other hand and grabbing a finger, easily ripping it right off. This time he got a scream. "Intense pain that you don't know where it's coming from?" Axl moved his human hand to a spot on the man's back and drew his fingers slowly across the fabric before pressing in, more and more. The pressure point grew worse and worse until the man choked out a howl of agony. "Any suggestions?" He glanced at Norrie. The man was mumbling excuses and sorry's, and Axl was getting sick of it. He grabbed the man's jaw with his cyborg hand and used his claws, taking half a second to slice out the guys tongue. He had a program in his mind to understand what people were saying without tongues, so he'd be able to decode most of it, but he just wanted to see what the reaction what. Another scream, and the guy attempting to scramble back, ripping the daggers out of the ground. Axl flipped out two more from his tattered cargo pants and sank them deep into the man's wrist. Tears rolled down their cheeks as they stilled. "Good lord. Everything. Just pain in general. That's what you're afraid of." His face flashed with disgust. "Weak."

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Yeah, can't argue with that," Norrie snorted, then nodded disappointedly. "Ayuh. He's uh... somethin' else." She suspected Jackson had flunked out of the 4th grade to be honest. Come on, viagra was old mad shit, niagara was the waterfall. Jeez. "You'd be correct in that belief," She said. Anything remotely close to even being a third cousin of a compliment was pretty much nonexistent with Norrie. She WOULD ask you if it was windy outside and follow it up with then why'd your hairline blow so far back? but never anything nice. Ever. "Damn right it is," She said smugly. (lol. Correction: I will be loaning you a braincell but constantly be borrowing it back xD)

"No special treatment for you," Norrie repeated, "You're.. one of the boys now, so I'll treat you as such." Others may not agree with that, but they could go lick a frozen pole covered in owl-shit for all she cared.

"No no, be my guest," She said. He could have his fun. She let Axl do whatever the fuck he wanted, and sniggered when the used wad of toilet paper whimpered. "Nope, just keep doin what you're doin," She shrugged, then set off to continue on with earlier's task; piling up the bodies. Nine in total, some of them had no recognizable faces anymore, but others could be identified. Now, Norrie would pour gasoline on the pile and light 'em up, buuuut they probably needed to find out exactly who these guys were. THEN Norrie would make a bonfire out of them. When she finished collecting them - dragging them unceromoniously by the boot usually - her hands and forearms were stained with their nasty-ass blood, and they looked like a pile of the inedibles at a butcher's shop. Perfect. The ones she'd shot looked like they'd been viciously attacked by a blender, and there were more broken limbs in the pile than unbroken. Also perfect. Right now they were still almost totally limp, rigor mortis just barely starting to set in. In a few hours they'd all be stiff as boards and smell like a Walmart bathroom.

Axl, Professional Ripper Outter Of Throats

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He made a face, wondering how Jackson was still ALIVE. "Hasn't he ever used the shit? He's the type of guy to need it." He muttered with a snort. "I'm honored." He stated drily, scratching his jaw a moment as a thought entered his mind. Well, a thought that wasn't usually there. He shook his head to dismiss it, focusing on other things. (That works too. I'll use it every once in a while xD)

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His eyebrows wrinkled slightly and he cocked his head, watching her for a moment. "Hm." He finally mumbled, not giving any more indication of thought. Her words were... interesting to him. He didn't look like 'one of the boys'. He was 'one of the dangerous half animals partial metal machine things that may kill you if he gets angry'. He was the outcast, the monster, the beast. The terrifying creature that not one person had ever acknowledged the human in. Which was weird, considering his mind was 70 percent human, he talked and thought like a human... everything. He was a human, really.

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When Norrie left, Axl turned his attention fully to the blubbering idiot before him. He scowled at them and stood up straight, thinking. Well, he mineswell have some fun. He grabbed the guys uniform top and unbuttoned it, pulling it off. The guy barely noticed, too busy sobbing quietly. He tossed it to the side, now having only a t-shirt between his claws and the man's skin. He knelt on the ground and ran his fingers down the chest till he found the bottom rib. He placed his cyborg hand there and found the right spot, then sharply pressed down. There was a snap and a scream. He moved up a rib and did the same thing. Then again. And again. A clean, quick break every single time, until every rib was broken in the front. He then moved onto the collarbone, then paused. More blood. He was almost getting sick of this. The guy was weak. There was no challenge. In frustration, Axl grabbed the arm with his metal hand and yanked upward. There was a rip of flesh. A guttural howling scream. With another yank, the arm completely fell off. "I'll be merciful." He hissed, instead of letting the guy bleed out, he grabbed their throat, lifted them up, and snapped their neck.

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Axl continued holding the neck as he started walking forward, sniffing the air. He turned and headed towards where he smelled the bloody bodies. As they came into view, he dragged the newest body to the pile and tossed it on. In his other hand he carried the arm, which he then put up there. Both hands, torso, and face were splattered with blood, but he didn't give a shit. He could shower later, maybe, and if not, he knew he had access to paper towels. "Here's the last one. You weren't gonna get any information outta him anyway."

(I'm gonna tell you something: I'm playing Asphault Lengends in between posts and refreshing HEE every 2-3 minutes to check for notifications. I forfeitted an online ranked race just to reply to this xD)

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Well how should I know?" Norrie huffed, "He probably uses Cialis instead." Or he was a cheap bastard and went for the generic shit instead of the name brand, but it wasn't like it was much different. Then again... he could probably walk up to a hooker, not think anything of her, and just say good day, ma'am before going on with his business. (Poor Jackson T-T We're so mean to him xD)

Norrie was admiring her pile of human flesh and shattered bones when Axl walked up, and she let out a small, poorly suppressed laugh at the sight of the now-broken pisslicker whose arm had apparently been removed. "Beautiful," She snickered, "I figured as much. Now we just gotta get some of them dumb smart guys out here and find out who these are, then do you want to see if their faces can reach their own asses?" Not like there was much difference. To add to the indignity of dying, one tends to piss and shit themselves when every single muscle in the body lets go, and most of the corpses in the pile had dark patches on the crotches of their jeans. Fuckin bedwetters. At least they were dead bedwetters. Pluuuus, they got a free bonfire AND a truck out of it, and while some fuckwad may try to argue, Norrie was definitely taking that piece of shit in the mud. Maybe try to get it stuck. Who knows, maybe it'd be used as target practice later on, too. Lotsa options there. Norrie looked Axl up and down and chuckled. "You're filthy." She was only marginally better herself, but ehh details details. Probably go nab that truck first... Norrie really fuckin wanted that thing, for whatever reason. Could be fun.

I apologize with every fiber in my being that you had to forfeit your very important online ranked race for me. I thank you for your sacrifice. My condolences. Your Westward Facing Comrade.

XD)

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Axl, Most Terrifying Dipshit and Arm Ripper Offer of All Time

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Axl snorted at her words. Jackson was his new target for everything about wimps. The guy was a PRIME target. They must've gotten bullied in school. A lot. And differently had way too many wedgies as a kid. (I know lol. He's the main subject of our taunts now xD)

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Axl gazed down at the pile of bodies for a moment. Oh, the joy. "I can be a dumb smart guy." He offered, grabbing one of the heads of the guys and gazing at it for a moment. One of the ones that didn't have a disfigured face. After a moment, text and a picture filled his vision. "Markalov Tovar, wanted Terrorist in the US, bunch of other shit." He stated, then grabbed the next guy. "Hubert - HUBERT?! His parents fucking HATED him!" Axl barked a dry laugh. "HUBERT Dawson, American, something something..." He glanced at the rest of them, with mostly disfigured faces, grabbing their hands instead and pressing his cyborg finger against their fingertips. "Garret Benett.. Otto Rayman..." A couple names later, he dropped the shitbags arm that he had ripped off and turned to Norrie. "Yes I would love to see if their faces can reach their own asses, but I already know tis true. I can bend them that way." He snorted, then lifted an eyebrow slightly. "Oh really? Well I was trying this new kind of makeup, and I was going for person who just violently murdered someone for almost being blown up. That meant I got it!" His tone was sarcastic as he attempted to wipe a splotch of blood offa his chest, but it only resulted in smearing it. "You're filthy too, just to point out." Axl said drily, pulling his shoulders back and immediately feeling a different sharp pain. "Heh?" He mumbled, craning his head around and peering at his shoulder. The not metal one. He knew the metal one was messed up. He saw a bit of blood, but not much... then he realized it was a ragged cut near his neck, on top of his shoulder. That made more sense. "By the way, is there a shop somewhere in the compound that I can fix my arm with? I need tools. Also, my SINCEREST apologies for going outside my BOUNDARIES, I hope you will survey the circumstances and decide its fine." For the first sentence he was serious, but then sarcasm leaked into his voice.