This has gotten to a point where I am venting here because I would really like some outside opinions. I feel like I am going crazy one minute, then like I am overreacting the next, but the truth is, the following situation is very very emotional for me.

I am 24. The youngest in my family, and I have quite a hectic history in my little life. As some may know, I recently lost my dad on the 29th of December 2025.

My parents were divorced for 3+ years (I can't really remember the dates), and he was with his girlfriend "B" for about a year. They didn't move in together, they weren't planning on ever getting married, and my dad would talk about not wanting to get married again, ever.

I was very close to B. She was very cool.

Not anymore. B has blocked me.

Why? You ask.

Because I had to ask my mom and her lawyers to get involved to get her to stop using my dads personal email and going through it. Once the lawyers were involved, I then received multiple messages from some of my dads closest friends, about how I am a disappointment for letting my mom get involved especially against such a sweet woman.

(Some background: My brother was in rehab for the beginning of the year. My mom took over as his representative during this whole estate stuff for my dad, so, she legally is required to be aware of what is going on, and she does have 50% say in the matter, too.)

This sweet woman called me a child, and said I do not know what I am doing, an that I can't handle my dads emails or look for what she needs. This woman kept my dads phone for 2-3 days after his death, saying she "wants the last living thing of him" with her. What did I have? Nothing. What did I do? I screamed and cried in the car on the way home, nearly deafening my boyfriend in the process. But I let her do that.

Now, I find a picture of one of my dads missing watches, on her table in her room. (Posted a day ago.) The watch my mom gave my father for their 10th anniversary. The one where he save dup to get it repaired, even after his divorce. But I am blocked, what can I do?

My brother reached out to her and asked her for it, only to be lied to, saying it was at my dads place. (It is not. I know it is not. But those details are not so important.)

I am now at the point where I am going to get the police involved. This isn't a cheap watch, and I am executor of my dads estate. My family has a tradition that the father's watch goes to the son, or the grandson. This watch should be going to my brother.

And now, reading this, I am like, all of this over a watch? Really? But, I really don't think my dad would want his watch sitting on her bedside table for the rest of her life. I remember how he would talk about her. He loved her, but he didn't want his whole life to be around her, and now I feel like that's all shes trying to do.

I had to fight to get his entire marvel collection from her place as well, too. Had to have a breakdown just to get her to allow me to come to her house and collect the boxes. I know people grieve differently, I do, and my dad would say to be understanding, but this has gotten to a point of, what about me? What about the family?

There's so many financial difficulties we are facing now because of how he died and the implications, this is the last type of thing I want to be dealing with, but I feel like a daughter and son have the next say in who gets what of their father's things. Not the woman he knew for two years at most...

I reall am so lost with how to proceed. I don't want police involved, because that's nasty, but this lying and stuff is really getting to me, and being nice and understanding clearly isn't getting results. I am afraid of being bullied by people twice my age again for being so "rude" and "formal" too, but I really have no idea on how else to make her understand how serious these things are to our family?

I even allowed her to seperate his ashes and let her keep some.
This went directly against one of my dads wishes of all of his ashes being spread in the ocean.

What more do you want from my father other than literal ashes of his body? Honestly.

Am I being crazy?

I reached out to B's sister, providing evidence and asking for a response or to talk about the situation.

I was blocked without a reply.

These people are like twice my age? What is with this blocking? I was not rude, mean, or insincere in my message.

This sounds like a big fat joke.

;-;

I'm so sorry for you loss and what you are having to deal with now.

You are not crazy. Keep in mind that other people are only hearing one side of the story so don't let what they do or say get to you. Block them in whatever way necessary if you have to. You are trying to do what is right for you, your family, and to follow your father's wishes. Get the police involved so that you can get your father's watch and then use whatever legal means necessary to cut off her access to everything.

I went through something similar like this as well with my dad's girlfriend when he passed. Except she took his bank card after he passed and spent a whole bunch of money. We ended up filing fraud charges against her.

In retaliation, she kept my dad's ashes.....people are petty

I'm sorry for your loss. Keep your head up, I wish you the best.

Thank you for all of the feedback, everyone. I am actually quite relieved knowing I am not crazy or the only one that has had to experience such things.

I have had a friend reach out to her today, and have had an attorney send a formal letter to her emails regarding this watch and wanting to communicate.

If there is no headway made in the next 24 hours, then I will sadly be handing this over to the attorneys entirely to handle and involve the law. :)

I have a feeling my name will be dragged through the dirt on Facebook for this, but I have taken screenshots of everything, and I am not going down without one hell of a fight.

Stay strong!!!! i really hope things get better for you and she gets dragged through the mud instead of you!!!

Back at this! Because I am STILL battling lawyers, and this lady.

Disclaimer: typing errors included. grammer skills limited.

Some additional back story:
My dad had a younger brother, who we shall call J. J died in 2012 without a will. Dad and his older Brother, who shall be S, were managing his estate.

Dad and S inherited a flat, and part of it was to J, who it now goes to Dad and S as well.

Since J died first, his estate needs to be wound up first, so that I can continue managing my dads estate to manage the flat portion that will then be split between my brother and I.

So why am I mad?
1. The attorneys continuosly include S in the management of my dads estate, and ignore my requests to no longer communicate with him regarding my dads estate itself. They say the fact that he is involved in J's estate, he is involved in my dads estate, which does not make any sense to me.

-- I do not have a relationship with S, I do not know the man, and he is already planning claim against my dads estate for the money he used for my dads funeral. My dad was in debt, a lot of debt, so I can't just allow him to have the chance to claim even more on top of that and I need to make sure that my brother and I don't end up with my dads debt on our hands if his estate isn't enough. AKA, any cent kept is really needed.

2. I got new lawyers involved who are helping for free (the perks of having friends in high places). They have found out that NEITHER OF THE ESTATES have been registered to this day. Nada. FOKOL! This means that for 5 months, NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE! And they still want to get paid???

3. The lady, who still has my dads watch, is now ignoring friends in her circle who have tried talking to her about it. New information reveals she DOES have it, as multiple people have said she does! I am in the process of communicating with the new lawyers to involve the police and get that watch back, and everything my dad has left at her place. I was going to be nice and let her keep some of his furniture, but this behaviour is not on and I am done being understanding of those who do not actually deserve it.

I am SO OVER THIS! I feel like a child whining right now but honestly, I have a lot of anger inside about me being the youngest and having to deal with such heavy decisions. I have such a bad feeling about my uncle, S, who, oh wait, here is some more info:
-- The lawyers who have done fokol, offered a NEW SERVICE, that was like half my salary for the month (even more I think) to "speed up the process". Ofc, for this quote and email, they included my uncle. I thought to myself "Okay, let me wait until my mom is awake so we can talk, since she is my brother's representative and has 50% say in something like this".

S, goes ahead and SAYS YES! Then adds that he will pay, and that "we can manage finances after the estate is wound up"??????????

Bro.
Bro wtf.

I had to send a rush email to him, and to the lazy attorneys saying No, and to wait for me to reply with further instructions. S then calls me, and if I tell you that this man didn't even let me speak, HE DIDN'T EVEN LET ME SPEAK! Kept talking over me and "how we need this done ASAP". I just smiled and waved basically, but verbally, lol. Anyway, the new lawyers, who I will call N, have been trying to contact the old ones for the past 6 days and these old lawyers are REFUSING to respond. Such bullshit this is.

My gut is SCREAMING at me that something is going on, and I feel the sooner I get my dads estate under a new firm and managed by a different group, the better. I never thought I would be so worried about family and other people trying to be selfish and sneaky during such vulnerable times, but wow. Just wow.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Dealing with death is not great.
BUT HEY- good news is I start my new job on the 1st, and this will mean I can actually survive! Rent, food, water, AND ELECTRICITY! With money to spare to put my doggo on an accident plan AND SAVE MONEY! WTF!!!! I feel like I am dealing with a really shitty situation while also having a really good thing going and life has been a ROLLERCOASTER.

It took me a few years longer than you to learn that bitter lesson, but you're right to trust your gut and I hope your anger gives you the energy to keep going.

Selfish and criminal people take advantage of others' compassion and inaction. I've had bosses, business partners and co-workers like that. Letting them get away with it only encourages them to keep doing it - they will never thank you for being too nice of a person.

We were once blackmailed by a cocky CEO. Oh, the "you're being so mean to me” whining after the police had contacted him... That still gives me a sense of satisfaction today, even though he got off without a trial. I have never regretted standing up for myself, but I still regret letting others take advantage of me because as a girl I was taught to be polite and to question myself rather than others. I've questioned myself enough - it's their turn now. 😉