Hey guys, i've been meaning to word vomit somewhere, so what better place lol. As some of ya'll may know my dog, Buddy, my baby who i've had for nearly a decade now, was diagnosed with liver cancer about ~2.5 weeks ago. Things were already looking pretty bad, however i've been holding out hope for some miracle. Unfortunately 2 days ago he had to be admitted to the ICU of my local veterinary hospital for complications associated with his cancer. He had all but lost his appetite due to the mass pressing on his stomach as well as becoming extremely dehydrated after his food started running straight through him, and he was really struggling. He was placed on an IV drip to rehydrate him, and given meds to help his appetite. Thankfully being in the hospital really helped him as his bloodwork started improving and he began eating again. He was discharged a few hours ago which was an amazing win, but after talking with his vet it's become pretty clear that the bottom line is he will not recover from this. From the start we only ever had 2 real options to deal with the tumor itself, a biopsy followed by chemotherapy, or a full tumor removal surgery, both of which aren't really viable options for him. Due to the fact he is a large dog and a senior, anesthetizing him would be a major risk and it would be required for both the surgery and biopsy. On top of that, with how fast his symptoms have been worsening, chemo would just wreck his quality of life for little reward. My vet has strongly advised against either option for him, and i wholeheartedly agree, the last thing i want for my boy is to suffer, so now we're continuing palliative care, and doing our best to keep him happy and comfortable for as long as we can. Overall this whole situation has fucked me up pretty bad, this dog is my everything, and i can't stand the thought of crying my eyes out without my boy comforting me. Even writing this now my eyes are welling up with tears at the thought which does not make writing easy lol. I've been trying not to let the reality sink in, but i've been in and out of sobbing for the past few days and it's really, really hard. For now i'm trying to spend as much time as i can with him, and keep close with his vet for when the time comes. It's likely right around the corner for him, but i'm just glad he's at least back to the happy boy he usually is, even if it's not for long.

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My boy <3

And to add a bit of clarity, if he begins to suffer, i care more about his QOL than my own happiness, and i will do whatever is best for him, regardless of my feelings on the matter.

Aww, im so sorry DD... I cannot imagine what it feels like.. If you ever need to talk to someone, my DM's are always open <3

Thank you <3 it really means a lot :)

I'm sure you're already making every day a great day with as many of his favorite things as possible. Try to remind yourself that dogs live in the moment. He doesn't know what's to come - he just knows that he's having a good time right now; the people in his life have reduced his pain, that he's getting extra love and attention, extra treats and activities.

P.S He is beautiful 🥹❤️

DD, I totally understand where you are coming from. I had a family dog that watched me grow up and passed the day before my birthday with the same thing your dog has. I have not fully recovered either. I am so so sorry, and I want you to know If you need anything, please reach out. Try not to think about whats going to happen. Just focus on the happiness and laughs right now and through your guys' time together. I am so so so sorry DD...

I am so sorry <3 He is beautiful. Losing a dog is so hard. We lost our golden retriever at 6 to prostate/bladder cancer two summers ago and it was miserable. You are aboslutely doing the right thing putting his quality of life first and opting not to do surgery or chemo. It's wonderful he is back to his old self for a bit and you can have this time together.

I'm so sorry to hear this, he's beautiful and you're clearly his world - his eyes in those photos are just full of love 🥹 Sending you a big hug.

Thanks you all <3 it's reassuring to know I'm doing the right thing, it's so hard to deal with losing a pet but I'm going to spend all the time I can with him, and get lots of photos with my boy ^^