Horse Eden : Married @4 Months

The table is set, the tea is piping hot... and I am entertained.

So my sister "J" is 27. Been dating "Q" since the end of January. They have met twice in person. They got together because J work's at the same company as Q's mother. Although they work in seperate departments. My family has been supportive of them and looking forward to meeing him. J is finishing her Masters and has a year or so left of schooling. Q has a good job, but he is out of state and not moving anytime soon.

J is visiting Q again the end of this month and just annouced that they are getting married in a civil ceremony. She has had this planned for a few weeks and already purchased all of her stuff (shoes, dress, veil, etc.) Needless to say we are shocked and a little disappointed. Mom was very hurt. J told us in no uncertain terms that this was her decision and we could say whatever we wanted. That if we could come that would be great, but if not she doesn't care. Although we disagreed, we prefaced it with the fact that she is an adult and no one was stopping her. Mom explained that she was very hurt. Apparently we are not allowed to have our own feelings because all of her co-workers were estatic for her. She plans to live a part for the year after marriage and complete her degree and then they will figure out their next move. Side note, Q has previously made known that he feels neglected due to the distance from time to time. So I absolutely brought that up just to be told that I don't know what I am talking about... OkOk. I digress.

I have mixed feelings on the aftermath. Tears were shed. I feel it's a selfish move and inconsiderate, but only told her that it feels rushed. She has already told Q's mom too who was very happy for them. Kinda feels like a kick in the pants, but this is her cannon moment and she says they will have another ceremony later.

Pretty sure she is narcissistic or borderline bi-polar. She does have a therapist who apparently is on board with this decision. Unfortunately I have 5 horses and am in the middle of our fiscal year end at work plus training new staff so I cannot get away and out parents leave tomorrow for a week long trip. But if we wanted to we would right?

We've all talked long and hard about this. The consenses is that 3-4mo dating and then marriage isn't bad. We just feel left out. All the previous discussions, and life experiences shared seem to mean nothing. But this is her life and we are respecting her "adult" decision. Parents and J did have a conversation last night about her trying to force people to get over our feelings on the matter. Mainly she has been bombarding Mom with her "wedding" details and Mom's still trying to get to an ok space with this change. Conversation went ok from my understanding. Everyone was happy this morning. Q is supposed to talk to our Dad this weekend.

All seems well?

TWIST

Mom called Q yesterday and apparently he did not know all of this was happening. Better yet he seemed particularly perturbed that J had called and told his Mom that they were getting married the end of this month! He says he loves her and wants to marry her, but wants to talk to J himself. Mom let him know that she is suprised by it all, but they are adults and this is their decision and we will respect it.

SO yeah. I'll update soon. Probably check for errors later as I have to go. This should be a fun ride though. Life right?