Latley I have been loseing interest in riding my horses. It’s all because of my controlling grnmother who makes me ride in western shows when I hate western. I enjoy English riding. I’m in 4-h and i only enter the english shows. After I turn them in she goes to the 4-h office and takes me out of the english classes i enjoy those are the jumping classes and she changes them to western. It just makes me not want to ride any more becuse of it. It just might be because my grandma got my horses western saddles that fit them and not me. Becuse when I ride in thm I am in painand am very uncomfortable. Every time I tell her I don’t want go do the western shows she tells me to do them or not show at all. I just hate it and don’t enjoy riding anymore.

Does your Grandma know this? If she doesn't you should tell her. I think you have a right to say what discipline you want to ride in, especially if it's your horse.

Try talking to her, explain to her what you’d like to do. When I started riding I did hunters and I didn’t enjoy jumping, so I wasnt enjoying it as much, my mom suggested Dressage and I love it, although jumping here and there is fun too. YOu have to explain to her that you’d like to try something different, it’s completely normal and okay to switch to a new type of riding. Because if you don’t try something new you may not find what you enjoy doing. I’m not sure how 4-h works, but try talking to your coach and they can potentially talk to your grand mother too

This is something that you have to face head-on, otherwise it'll only get worse. Assuming you're 16 or older because you play HEE, you should be able to choose your classes, and if you don't want to ride in a western saddle don't, even if it pisses your grandmother. She's not in control of you. You need to go up to her and tell her you hate western riding, it hurts you a lot, and that you don't care what the hell she thinks of that. You can always go to a public stable and have a trainer do that for you after being there for awhile, because good trainers don't put up with this shit.

I have tried to tell her lots of times. I have 4 horses of my own only 2 are rideable. The one that I ride the most is my mare who was trained just for jumping. My gelding is a barrel horse and all he knows is to go fast and to never slow down. The barrel saddle is comfertable because it’s a smaller built. The saddle she makes me ride in for western is hers. My aunt told me the only way to get your way with her is to just not show up to show your horse until the show is over. This year for fair we are doing a zoom meeting with the judge. My grandma is also my riding trainer. I don’t think she should because her daughters all snook out during the day to go down the road and get trained by the neighbor. That neighbor has moved to California.

What are your parents' opinions on this? Can they help you at all? If your grandmother is this controlling and overbearing that is entirely inappropriate and adults really should be stepping in to help you.

In the meantime, you may need to stop showing for awhile as a form of protest. If your grandmother signs you up for western classes, don't go. Don't let her make you go into the ring either, no matter what. Let her threaten you (so long as she isn't violent) and maybe get some other people around you to back you up. I certainly wouldn't let anyone treat me the way your grandmother treats you, but I am adult and have more control of my life and the people in it.

And you said your grandma is your trainer, is there any way to move your horses somewhere else and take lessons with a different trainer? Again, parent support is going to be key here.

It's you. It's your riding. It's your choice. If you don't want to show Western, that's okay. Explain to your grandma why you don't like Western, and if she doesn't listen, tell your parents. Talk to your friends. Some people, unlike me, have actual good ideas on what to do.

Then consider your horses, as well. What do they like best?

I would suggest making sure your grandma knows that your mare is only for jumping, and maybe even make her ride them. She might realize she's being entirely too controlling and maybe even unsafe.

If worst comes to worst, stop showing. Don't let her get you. Make sure she knows that you will refuse to show in Western. Let her know how good you are at English riding.

If you ever need to rant, I'm here <3.

I understand.