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HawkEye Acres
04:08:29 Nay
Those that have show arenas, are they profitable/worth the investment atall?
Foggy Mtn PONs
03:24:18 Fog
Newbie to the collection -HEE Click- <3
Calela Eventing
02:48:12 Cali
Someone explain GP to me!! I just don't understand
*Winter Equines*
02:38:47 Winter/Snowball
Possible Genetic Combinations: 12 Total Prize Possible: 600
Total Number of Guesses: 12
Number of Correct Guesses: 10
Number of Incorrect Guesses: 2

This is the third friggin day in a row when there is only 12 possible combinations in genetics practice >:(
Calela Eventing
02:30:00 Cali
Hey Holly, DD and High Ridge
How are y'all doing?
Black Meadow Estate
01:27:44 Meadow
-HEE Click-
Top #10 LB stud help please
High Ridge Meadows
01:26:27 
Dash and Duchess
How are you doing?
Hot 2 Trot
01:14:58 ♡Holly♡
Hey
Dash and Duchess
01:14:58 DD | ~Squizard~
High ridge, hello :)
High Ridge Meadows
01:00:06 
Dash and Duchess
Hello.
Dash and Duchess
12:54:29 DD | ~Squizard~
Peach, do you have any fun summer plans coming up? :D
Dash and Duchess
12:54:08 DD | ~Squizard~
Peach, yup xD I'm so excited to enjoy vacation, but I'm really going to miss his silly lil (not so little xD) self too :')
Peachy
12:41:08 peach | abbi
hey hey! & that totally makes sense!! haha
Fantasy Horses
12:26:44 Fantasy
Lo
Perfect! XD
Willow Wood Stable
12:26:15 Lo l Jo
I'll call it a 66% win lol
Fantasy Horses
12:25:16 Fantasy
Lo
Yeah, that's kind of a win-lose-win situation lol. (Color-not WWW-still got one W)
Dash and Duchess
12:25:07 DD | ~Squizard~
Bird, awww adorable! >o<
Dash and Duchess
12:24:01 DD | ~Squizard~
Heya Peach! And I'm, about to pop out of town so I need to give the pet sitter food xD
-
Bird, just his regular food+freeze dried salmon cubes for some extra :D
-
T-R, yup! :D
Willow Wood Stable
12:23:52 Lo l Jo
One :') Honestly, though, I'm happy with it overall.
Fantasy Horses
12:23:19 Fantasy
Lo
...and he got one of the Ws!

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HawkEye Acres
04:08:29 Nay
Those that have show arenas, are they profitable/worth the investment atall?
Foggy Mtn PONs
03:24:18 Fog
Newbie to the collection -HEE Click- <3
Calela Eventing
02:48:12 Cali
Someone explain GP to me!! I just don't understand
*Winter Equines*
02:38:47 Winter/Snowball
Possible Genetic Combinations: 12 Total Prize Possible: 600
Total Number of Guesses: 12
Number of Correct Guesses: 10
Number of Incorrect Guesses: 2

This is the third friggin day in a row when there is only 12 possible combinations in genetics practice >:(
Calela Eventing
02:30:00 Cali
Hey Holly, DD and High Ridge
How are y'all doing?
Black Meadow Estate
01:27:44 Meadow
-HEE Click-
Top #10 LB stud help please
High Ridge Meadows
01:26:27 
Dash and Duchess
How are you doing?
Hot 2 Trot
01:14:58 ♡Holly♡
Hey
Dash and Duchess
01:14:58 DD | ~Squizard~
High ridge, hello :)
High Ridge Meadows
01:00:06 
Dash and Duchess
Hello.
Dash and Duchess
12:54:29 DD | ~Squizard~
Peach, do you have any fun summer plans coming up? :D
Dash and Duchess
12:54:08 DD | ~Squizard~
Peach, yup xD I'm so excited to enjoy vacation, but I'm really going to miss his silly lil (not so little xD) self too :')
Peachy
12:41:08 peach | abbi
hey hey! & that totally makes sense!! haha
Fantasy Horses
12:26:44 Fantasy
Lo
Perfect! XD
Willow Wood Stable
12:26:15 Lo l Jo
I'll call it a 66% win lol
Fantasy Horses
12:25:16 Fantasy
Lo
Yeah, that's kind of a win-lose-win situation lol. (Color-not WWW-still got one W)
Dash and Duchess
12:25:07 DD | ~Squizard~
Bird, awww adorable! >o<
Dash and Duchess
12:24:01 DD | ~Squizard~
Heya Peach! And I'm, about to pop out of town so I need to give the pet sitter food xD
-
Bird, just his regular food+freeze dried salmon cubes for some extra :D
-
T-R, yup! :D
Willow Wood Stable
12:23:52 Lo l Jo
One :') Honestly, though, I'm happy with it overall.
Fantasy Horses
12:23:19 Fantasy
Lo
...and he got one of the Ws!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3822
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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