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Podere 211
02:54:48 Sue
search horses page also repeats results
Emmas Eventers
02:44:03 
Auctions broken too, says there are 58 horses lol
Legacy Leagues
02:07:09 Alyssa (Future Vet)
Oh... My horse sale page is definitely broken. It lists the same horse like 5 times.
Vancouver
01:51:09 Ana / Van
Bazz
Yeah
N E V E R M O R E
01:49:53 Sarah | Grey
-HEE Click- cute frame i got plus he is all e
Dark Shadows Estate
01:45:02 Bazz
It's about 4.15 that we can train correct?
Legacy Leagues
01:40:29 Alyssa (Future Vet)
Bazz
Amen to that
Lunalovegood
01:40:09 Loony :)
Oh and Bignus bluey= Blue Diamond
Lunalovegood
01:39:35 Loony :)
Bignus
Soo there is this wish list thing and Bluey said she could help so I’m not sure if she is doing it or someone else ( but i guess it will be bluey)
Dark Shadows Estate
01:37:21 Bazz
Loony, I used to get jealous of peoples art but now I don't really - I like my EBs more than art these days haha
Bingus Acres
01:37:14 Bin/Bingus
Ooh, who from Loony?
Lunalovegood
01:36:25 Loony :)
I know guys but I love the art

I’m getting my 1st piece soon (Very excited)
Swirly's stable
01:35:35 Swirly
Loony
Barns aren't that bad, fill them with some show horses and earn the ebs back

Bingus
Fingers crossed! 🤞
Bingus Acres
01:34:29 Bin/Bingus
Swirly, she bumped her dam up to #27 ABLB so I'm really hoping she's just holding out on me lol

Loony, barns are a great investment!
Lunalovegood
01:34:20 Loony :)
Alyssa yeah but I get really jealous of people’s art
Dark Shadows Estate
01:33:57 Bazz
Loony, I like having majority on the same pay day - that way it is only one big blow at the start of the week and then I make the EBs back from showing lol
Lunalovegood
01:33:44 Loony :)
Bazz
I’ll take him if he doesn’t behave
Legacy Leagues
01:33:39 Alyssa (Future Vet)
Loony
Barns isn't a bad investment though
Lunalovegood
01:32:51 Loony :)
Bignus
Don’t make me jealous I won a 400k giveaway last month and I spent it all on barns :(
I knew I should have saved some for art…
Swirly's stable
01:32:28 Swirly
Bingus
That mare should be a little more grateful if she has Mana arts lol

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Podere 211
02:54:48 Sue
search horses page also repeats results
Emmas Eventers
02:44:03 
Auctions broken too, says there are 58 horses lol
Legacy Leagues
02:07:09 Alyssa (Future Vet)
Oh... My horse sale page is definitely broken. It lists the same horse like 5 times.
Vancouver
01:51:09 Ana / Van
Bazz
Yeah
N E V E R M O R E
01:49:53 Sarah | Grey
-HEE Click- cute frame i got plus he is all e
Dark Shadows Estate
01:45:02 Bazz
It's about 4.15 that we can train correct?
Legacy Leagues
01:40:29 Alyssa (Future Vet)
Bazz
Amen to that
Lunalovegood
01:40:09 Loony :)
Oh and Bignus bluey= Blue Diamond
Lunalovegood
01:39:35 Loony :)
Bignus
Soo there is this wish list thing and Bluey said she could help so I’m not sure if she is doing it or someone else ( but i guess it will be bluey)
Dark Shadows Estate
01:37:21 Bazz
Loony, I used to get jealous of peoples art but now I don't really - I like my EBs more than art these days haha
Bingus Acres
01:37:14 Bin/Bingus
Ooh, who from Loony?
Lunalovegood
01:36:25 Loony :)
I know guys but I love the art

I’m getting my 1st piece soon (Very excited)
Swirly's stable
01:35:35 Swirly
Loony
Barns aren't that bad, fill them with some show horses and earn the ebs back

Bingus
Fingers crossed! 🤞
Bingus Acres
01:34:29 Bin/Bingus
Swirly, she bumped her dam up to #27 ABLB so I'm really hoping she's just holding out on me lol

Loony, barns are a great investment!
Lunalovegood
01:34:20 Loony :)
Alyssa yeah but I get really jealous of people’s art
Dark Shadows Estate
01:33:57 Bazz
Loony, I like having majority on the same pay day - that way it is only one big blow at the start of the week and then I make the EBs back from showing lol
Lunalovegood
01:33:44 Loony :)
Bazz
I’ll take him if he doesn’t behave
Legacy Leagues
01:33:39 Alyssa (Future Vet)
Loony
Barns isn't a bad investment though
Lunalovegood
01:32:51 Loony :)
Bignus
Don’t make me jealous I won a 400k giveaway last month and I spent it all on barns :(
I knew I should have saved some for art…
Swirly's stable
01:32:28 Swirly
Bingus
That mare should be a little more grateful if she has Mana arts lol

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:48 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227946
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After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 3648
#1227947
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 3648
#1227948
Give Award

Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 08:48 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3740
#1227964
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I'd be interested! :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:01 PM

Autumn Coast Stables
 
Posts: 45
#1227974
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


I'd love to!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:03 PM


KPH Equestrian
 
Posts: 3037
#1227975
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me three! :D
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:17 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227981
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I revised some on the document and only decided to add this little bit, it felt like the best. I really feel I should lengthen a lot of this because it feels too short, but I also tend to do a lot of description to make up for it so I don't want it to drone on haha. The second part isn't finished, it's just what I had written down so far and I'm really struggling with it. Also some dialouge help would be amazing!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 11:47 PM


Oakwood Barn
 
Posts: 1690
#1228037
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Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!

Edited at July 10, 2024 11:48 PM by Oakwood Barn
Caals Writing a Book! July 11, 2024 09:31 AM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228125
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Oakwood Barn said:
Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!


Thank you! I'll defintely take you up on that at some point haha
Caals Writing a Book! July 12, 2024 07:32 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228509
Give Award
Okay a little update. I'm starting Chapter Three! Starting is a really loose term, at the moment what is updated is just stupid ideas I've strung together. My current problem is it feels like it should be longer? Any ideas on how stretch it out and add in some length? How should I have them interact? It feels like I've got the idea, I just can't put them together in the right way.
***
Currently it feels like it's moving too fast, and I really want it to take time so I can show the kind of devastation and pain that comes with an event like that. I thought about drawing out her little fight, the detail on the walk through the outpost, etc, but I'm not sure with what. Today my writing feels drab, almost childlike and not anything like the authors I've been reading. Yes, it's loose like theirs, more like retelling a story, but it isn't quite flowing. It's rigid and I'm not sure how to break it up.

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