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Please come bid and take them off my hands
The End
02:21:48 Ender
multiple WW+ mares available for brood/embryo next month
Includes WWW producers
-HEE Click-
Jazz Fingers
01:57:21 
Auction, Includes:
EWW Mares, WWW Stallions, PWW Chimera
-HEE Click-

Horses for sale: (Offers Welcome <3)
-HEE Click-

WWW WB 1/154 up for stud
5k, no breeding requirements
-HEE Click-
Port Royal Equines
01:47:39 ISO Brave EWW ISH
-HEE Click-
EWE broods for 6k! Last call.
Wolf Dancer
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:)
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Dash Warmbloods
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Upgrades for sale. Pm me
Centura stable
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Final hour to get your hands on some amazing horse including an EEP gelding and some EWE mares/fillys!
Kiwi Mountains
11:31:36 Kiwi
-HEE Click-
Young WWW WB mare colourful girl. CrCr Rn Dd Toto Sbsb
QualitySH
11:26:12 Asher
Selling 6 month upgrades for 325k pm to claim also check out my art shop
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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:48 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 436
#1227946
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After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 4162
#1227947
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 4162
#1227948
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 08:48 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4087
#1227964
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I'd be interested! :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:01 PM

Autumn Coast Stables
 
Posts: 45
#1227974
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


I'd love to!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:03 PM


KPH Equestrian
 
Posts: 4496
#1227975
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me three! :D
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:17 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 436
#1227981
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I revised some on the document and only decided to add this little bit, it felt like the best. I really feel I should lengthen a lot of this because it feels too short, but I also tend to do a lot of description to make up for it so I don't want it to drone on haha. The second part isn't finished, it's just what I had written down so far and I'm really struggling with it. Also some dialouge help would be amazing!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 11:47 PM


Oakwood Barn
 
Posts: 1716
#1228037
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Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!

Edited at July 10, 2024 11:48 PM by Oakwood Barn
Caals Writing a Book! July 11, 2024 09:31 AM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 436
#1228125
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Oakwood Barn said:
Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!


Thank you! I'll defintely take you up on that at some point haha
Caals Writing a Book! July 12, 2024 07:32 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 436
#1228509
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Okay a little update. I'm starting Chapter Three! Starting is a really loose term, at the moment what is updated is just stupid ideas I've strung together. My current problem is it feels like it should be longer? Any ideas on how stretch it out and add in some length? How should I have them interact? It feels like I've got the idea, I just can't put them together in the right way.
***
Currently it feels like it's moving too fast, and I really want it to take time so I can show the kind of devastation and pain that comes with an event like that. I thought about drawing out her little fight, the detail on the walk through the outpost, etc, but I'm not sure with what. Today my writing feels drab, almost childlike and not anything like the authors I've been reading. Yes, it's loose like theirs, more like retelling a story, but it isn't quite flowing. It's rigid and I'm not sure how to break it up.

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