Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Maybe not the radio, but whoever may be listening," Norrie said. Poor Jackson would have just melted of embarressment had he heard Axl yapping about banging the radio. "Uh-huh," She said, then caught his pleased expression. "Guess what, my arm works just fine when wet too," She said sarcastically. If his arm couldn't just come off, it'd be fuckin retarded for it to not be waterproof. Imagine having to wrap it in plastic just to shower and hope it doesn't leak and ruin the limb.

"I like the way you think," She said, nodding approvingly. If you ain't gonna enjoy it, might as well make space for people on the planet who will. Don't go around correcting people who say CAN I instead of MAY I. Don't be an asshole. Don't be a waste of oxygen. "Uhh, if you catch it in the early stages you have good odds," Norrie said, though not very confidently. MAYBE if they'd stop POLLUTING the WATER and the FOOD with CANCER-CAUSING CHEMICALS people would be HEALTHIER. Like Alex Jones said: I don't like them puttin chemicals in the water, they turn the frickin frogs gay! Do you understand that? Gay frickin frogs! Norrie was jolted out of her thoughts when some fuckwad, VISIBLY on their phone while driving, damn near rear-ended the BIG FUCKIN HUVEE right on front of them and then had the AUDACITY to HONK like it was NORRIE'S fault. It took all her self control to not yell swears or break-check 'em, but holy fuck were both options appealing. "I'm not doing this shit today," She grumbled, then said to Axl, "We've got some time to kill, ever wanted to see snow?" It wasn't that far of a detour, maybe an extra 45 minutes, to go drop by the Ruby Mountains, where you could find snow pretty much year-round. Plus, since it was nearing sunset, most people would be heading down, not up, so there wouldn't be a whole lotta traffic. She was already heading that way, desperate to get away from all the stupid people. One idiot was just SITTING at a GREEN light like they were waiting for it to turn BLUE so Norrie laid on the horn for a solid twenty seconds, trying her damned hardest not to just rear-end them and plow 'em out of the way. It did get their ass in gear and moving, at least.

"OOoOOOoOooOOoooOOoOo I hope someone was listening. I hope it traumatized them. I hope they sleep and think about the psychopath that was talking about fucking the radio." Axl looked absolutely delighted in every evil way possible. "Well YOUR arm wasn't BLOWN OFF by a fucking BOMB now was it?" He countered with a snort. "YOUR arm isn't made out of wires and metal." He added with a slight eyeroll. A TESLA arm wouldn't be able to be submerged in water, so there.

.

"I like the way I think, too." He replied drily. However, it did make sense. If you weren't going to live life to the fullest, you were just a waste of space. The world would be a better place if everyone understood that they were not the most important and that their lives were short. Do what you want, don't worry about eating only healthy food- don't only eat junk food, though, blech. If you wanna go skydiving, go skydiving. If you wanna fly a plane, get your pilots license. "... uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say." He wrinkled his nose. Not for the people with fast acting cancer. His eyebrows lifted slightly as someone drive up behind them and very nearly smashed their front bumper on the humvee. Then they started HONKING. "I can go give them a time to remember if you want." He offered helpfully. He wouldn't kill them, but he WOULD make this an unforgettable experience. His ears twitched and he cocked his head at her words, glancing at her. 0.001 seconds later he remembered- SNOW. Yeah. The white stuff. He totally hadn't known what the fuck she was talking about for a second. "Sure." He replied with a shrug, eyes flitting towards the mountains rather nearby. He assumed that the snow there was rather year round. "Does Nevada usually get a lot of snow?" He questioned. He knew the northern states would get more snow, but at the moment he felt like a fucking brain dead baby. Never seen snow, never had a milkshake, never drove in the fucking front seat of a car. It was enough to make him REALLY want to rip a lot of people's heads off.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

Norrie just shook her head, trying not to grin in amusement, as she said, "You're weird. They may have been hoping to hear to try it." Nasty. Call up a phone-whore or something, quit eavesdropping. "Uh-huh. Good for you," She said dryly. "It's made of flesh and bone and nerves and blood." The standard model of arm. Axl just had the deluxe pre-release of arm. And was kind of the Sport Edition of human. Like how bobcats are the base model, cheetas are the sport edition, and house cats are the economy model.

"Uhh, and what would that be?" She asked. "I'm already not supposed to have brought you out here for milkshakes, I think I'm legally either kidnapping or stealing government property," She said, wrinkling her nose in distaste at the latter. "It's kind of bad enough that hippie bitch saw you, imagine how everyone else would respond." She sighed. Not delightfully, especially what with being in a government vehicle. It'd be like people storming Area 51 all over again, which would probably mean a lot of civilians shot. "Ah, some parts. Like here, winters can be pretty rough. It gets cold everywhere, but not necessarily snow. We're at a high enough elevation here to get a good amount," She answered patiently. Norrie didn't mind answering his questions in the slightest. Just as she figured, trying to get down the mountain back to town looked like a nightmare, with people crawling like molasses in January, but heading up was pretty easy cruisin'. On one side of the road it was pretty open, and Norrie pointed to a fuzzy creature perched on a rock, watching the cars go by. "See that? That's a yellow-bellied marmot," She said, smiling. It was a cute little bugger. Nice and plump. Some time past the marmot, continuing up and up, Norrie pulled into a parking lot at a trailhead, and just up the trail? You bet your britches, snow. Wonderful. It was getting kind of dark, but Norrie'd outrank any park rangers out here, so they'd be fine. "Here we are," She said as she turned off the humvee, "now, you know what a snowball fight is?"

"I am weird, thank you. Average is boring, and I cannot be reduced to being boring." Axl responded with a slight smirk. "Well THAT makes it wrong. Ew." He wrinkled his nose.

"Ooo lucky youuu, you get real flesh and bone and nerves and blood. Don't brag." He snorted in amusement. Most of the time he would prefer that, so pfft. Then again, he liked being able to melt through chains.

.

"We-ellllll, probably not a good thing." He wrinkled his nose at her words. "I prefer kidnapping over stealing government property. The latter makes it sound like I'm some type of cool as fuck gun." Axl snorted. At least kidnapping hinted at him being human-ish. "I bet she won't remember what her mother's name is, nevermind a random ass dude going through the drive through. For all she knew it could be a costume." He shrugged, then sighed dramatically. "But I guess you have a point." He mused. It would probably be bad if a sober shitweasel saw him. At least the whole metal arm thing wasn't TOTALLY out of this world. A couple people that had been in bad accidents had this... mostly hybrids, he guessed. Like experiments to see if it would work. He nodded slightly at her words, logging that away in his internal database. He could've probably looked it up, but he'd rather learn it like a normal human being. His sharp gaze flit to the fluffy creature and his retina scanner zoomed in, identifying it before she could speak. He ignored that information and dismissed it. "Looks like it should be a fluffy faced ball of fur." He commented drily. It was pretty cute, honestly. Even though he didn't think many things were CUTE. He didn't use the word a lot. He was rather glad that the animal instincts didn't kick in and make that little fluffball look tasty. It was more fur than anything else, anyway. His dark eyes then focused on the thin film of snow he could see on the ground where they were that quickly grew thicker. When they stopped, he narrowed his eyes and analyzed the cold looking stuff. "Well, using the power of logic and common sense, I'd guess it has something to do with balling the snow into balls and fighting with them, or throwing them at each other." He stated drily with a hint of amusement, opening the door and stepping out. The cold air hit him rather quickly, but it didn't bother him much. Even shirtless, he could be just fine in much lower temperatures than fragile humans.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Fair enough. If you were boring, you'd be like Jackson," Norrie snickered. HE was boring. Unless Norrie gave him orders to partake in something fun, he'd just stand around waiting to be told what to do. "Exactly my point," She said. Disgusting. "Oh yeaah, and my hand gets warm enough to melt wax," She said. Just because hers was the stock part straight from the factory didn't make it better, especially in terms of functionality.

"Exactly," She said. "Hey, on the bright side, that puts you at roughly equal value to a multimillion-dollar fighter jet, since stealing one of those would put you away for theft of government property, unauthorized use of a military aircraft, grand theft, trespassing on a military installation, and potentially endangering public safety. Which... I've now done at least two of those." Yep, theft of government property and endangering public safety. Oh how wonderful. That's alright though, it's only a crime if you get caught, and Norrie knew Jackson would keep quiet and The Beak would just want to keep his job, so it'd be in his better interest not to mention the fact he didn't try to stop them. "Ayuh. Though I imagine if you were to.. lean into it, dress all goth n' shit, make people believe you're just a cosplayer or something, then you'd be alright," She said. That could be a little challenging, but certainly not impossible. "Imagine if everything was named that way," Norrie chuckled, "cats would just be called pompous assholes." Just picture, if you will, someone asks what kind of pets you have and you just say a pompous asshole. Hell, even if they AREN'T really called that most people would understand. "Ayuh. Now, allow me to demonstrate," She said, scooping up a handful of the chilly stuff, packing it down meticulously, and then lobbing it at Axl with a mischeivous grin.

"Okay, I am scared of something. Being like Jackson." Axl faked a shudder. That would be TERRIBLE. To be reduced to not knowing if you were being fucked in the ass and thinking it was yourself shitting backwards. Eugh. "... that's SOMETHING." He protested with a huff. "But yeah, sure, there are perks to having a metal arm." He sniffed. Not like he wanted to admit it. It was easier to do a lot of things. It also made him look more badass than he already did. Like, you have the newest gun? I have an arm than can crush your skull with no problem! It can also melt your brains in the process.

.

"Ooo yay me. I'm the envy of the army. Whoop dee do." He waved his hands, voice sarcastic. "I'd rather be a fucking homeless orphan than be a tool that is owned and used." He scoffed. "But yes... you have potentionally endangered public safety." He flashed a crooked, quite evil grin, fangs making it even worse. He wasn't into hurting innocent people, but those IDIOTS that almost rear ended them deserved to be BITTEN. In a non-lethal way, of course. "I've never heard of property making the decision to violently murder its owner, though, so I can be the first." He said cheerfully. "I'm sure people will realize I make REALLY bad property when I leave a trail of blood in my wake and terror where ever I go." Honestly, it'd be kill the idiots who made him this, kill the ones that tortured him, then disappear. Forever. No identity. Gone off of the face of the earth. Possibly move to Mars. "... 100 percent not worth it. The day I dress a certain way to fool someone or change a person's view of me is the day I need to die." He stated drily. He was literally stuck with a t-shirt some cargo pants and his trusty boots, no more. He didn't need anything else. Maybe a jacket. He let out an amused snort at her next words. "Very true. Hippos would be called dangerous fat asses." He added with a snort. A rabbit would be a booplesnoot. A manatee would be a floaty potato." He shrugged. "There are many names that would be different. Like a snake being a nope rope." He snorted again, then tilted his head as she said allow her to demonstrate. He figured out what she meant VERY quickly, thankfully for his brain, and wrinkled his nose. "Isn't the point to hit people?" He asked sweetly as he grabbed the snowball out of the air. It shattered around him and barely any of it got on him. He stooped down and balled up his own, Casually watching her for a moment before sending it flying towards her much more quickly than hers had been going. Being the GENTLEMAN that he was, he didn't squish it hard as a rock, as he could have, so it would PROBABLY shatter on impact.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Hey, careful, he could be listening," Norrie said. But yes, she'd hate to be like Jackson. He didn't really think for himself. "Yeah, see? Of course there are," She said. How could there NOT be perks? That was just fuckin AWESOME. Sure, one has to lose an arm, but that was kind of worth it.

"Yeah, lucky bastard," Norrie snorted. Such a wonderful thing. "Hey, better to be a fucking homeless than fucking a homeless orphan," She said solemnly. Just couldn't go more than an hour without another terrible dirty joke. How classy. "Potentially. They're all still more or less fine," She snorted, unfazed by his evil grin. The public wasn't okay to begin with, but they weren't any worse now. Not because of Norrie and Axl, at least. "Uh-huh. Good for you. I'm sure you'll make it into the world records," She said dryly, then shrugged. "You do you. If you decide to do that, just don't mention me by name, okay? It'll be easier for you to disappear than me." That was the problem working for the people who were good at hunting other people down; they knew everything about you and would have problem finding you. Norrie nodded and said approvingly, "Good for you. You ain't too bad, after all." Should someone try to argue that it was better to fit in and people not care about you than stand out and everyone hate you... SIT your ASS down and SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody gives a SHIT about what YOU think, HAYLEIGH. "Just like your mom," Norrie snickered quietly. "A booplesnoot's an awfully cute name coming froma guy like you." His father might've smelled of elderberries, but his mother wasn't a hamster; she was a rabbit. Or, booplesnoot, apparently. Norrie rolled her eyes and huffed, "Show-off." She threw up one arm and turned away from him a little, trying to protect her face and vital shit. His snowball whacked her forearm with enough force to probably leave a bruise and showered cold white flakes over her. "You dastardly bastard," She grumbled, scooping up a new lump of snow and chucking it.

Lieutenant Calvert

ᓚᘏᗢ

"Oh come on, he's not ALL BAD. He's good at doing what you tell him," Norrie said. Jackson would do damn near ANYTHING he was told. Like, anything anything. If you told him to go chase a squirrel on all fours and catch it with his teeth, well by god he'd DO it.

"I'd hope not, or I may just decide to use you as target practice," She said flatly. She thought those sort to be the BEST kind of target. "I would say you could make 'em dead, but that may not be worse," She snorted. At least half the population would probably line themselves up in front of a firing squad. "Uh-huh. And if you HAD to be remembered for SOMETHING, what would it be?" She asked, not particularly rudely. For Norrie, she'd probably want to be remembered as some almost mythical gunslinger of legend told around campfires, with wildly exaggerated details and viewed as something of a vigilante hero. "So does that mean you'd have to kill me, since I'd know?" She asked. It'd make the most logical sense, to be honest. Leave no witnesses. "Mhm. It was also something called a Your Mom Joke. You insult someone's mother regardless of if you know them or not. Take, for example, one of my favorites: wasn't your mother a well-known whore?" She said. Calling someone's mother a whore would always be a classic; sonofawhore just had more punch than sonofabitch. And calling someone a whoremaster. "Fair enough, I ain't about to say they're ugly," Norrie relented. Some rabbits were cuter than others, though, like rabbits that did tricks versus rabbits that dug holes in your yard. Norrie drew a deep breath before hollering, "YOUR MOM DID!" That was how one did a Your Mom Joke at the most inoportune times. "That's a good idea," She said, grinning, before turning tail and half running, half scrambling uphill and to the nearest pine tree, where she proceeded to jump and grab a low branch and haul herself up easily. From there she kept climbing higher until she was a solid thirty feet from the ground. She found quickly that if she jumped hard enough on a snow-covered branch, she could knock all the snow free and send it raining down. Splendid. Got defense and offense in the tree.