(Hell yeah! Germany and Russia were honestly my two top picks, followed closely by North Korea xD Want general I-forgot-his-name to summon them where ever he resides or be a bitch and use ✨modern technology✨?)

-

"Ayuh. And I'll damn well do it," Norrie said. While she did kinda do whatever the fuck she wanted and when, yes, it couldn't exactly be said there were no repercussions. She was just good at weaseling her way out of things or not getting caught in the first place. Or blaming someone else. Yeahh, that was kind of Jackson's unofficial second job. The scapegoat. Not like he really even NOTICED half the time. How could he just EXIST like that and expect Norrie NOT to blame shit on him?

She rolled her eyes and said, "Uh-huh. Just keep telling yourself that, kitty." While it was pretty easy to be less grouchy than her most of the time, she didn't exactly think Axl fit that. He was probably equally grouchy. Orrr, if he really WAS less so, it sure as shit wasn't by a whole lot.

(Germany and Russia would've been great cause those are the two foreign languages he can fluently speak xD

Use modern technology XD. Tis funnier that way)

-

At least Axl could count on her for that. If she said she was gonna do something utterly stupid, she would. No matter the consequences. Sounded like a military person to him, but in one class. The other class were the officers. Specifically Butterbars. God how he HATED butterbar lieutenants... they were stupider than a box o' lava rocks. Like: Day 26, the butterbar STILL won't let me see the map. People going in endless circles. Sergeant: Alright, who gave the butterbar the map!?

"I will, princess." He snorted haughtily. That seemed to be the word he used the most now. He could probably change it back and forth between princess, darling, and doll, and get enough satisfaction from it. Then again, it was just petty at this point, for both of them. Neither even reacted. The point? There was none. Back on point... he was extremely grouchy with everyone that seemingly wasn't her, so she shouldn't be griping about it.

"I'm sure General Coughman's agenda will be boring as hell." Axl sighed dramatically, adding a low cough in the name. He couldn't resist. If you had a name that easy to make fun of, you deserved to be made fun of. His mouth twitched slightly as she spoke. "I didn't want to run the water and wake everyone up through these thin ass walls, and I don't see much point in putting on the same dirty, bloody clothes I took off." He stated drily. He did have his reasons, thanks. "On your second sentence, I do NOT enjoy being covered in blood and grease, as both are very sticky and uncomfortable." Still, when has he ever had a choice? He barely even remembered there was a shower until 3 am or so.

Yes xD)

-

Axl was rather similar, except... if you offered him a dollar to do something stupid, he'd do it. Unless it was Jackson. He'd never do Jackson. Not for all the money in the world. However, they already covered that, so moving on.

"Auf keinen Fall would I ever call you THAT. Ew." Naw, that was just gross. It did immediately make him want to think up better names, though. "I have better ideas. Buttercup would work quite well, considering it is a flower that is rather poisonous to horses." Except SHE was poisonous to EVERYONE. "Ooo my brain hath supplied me with another! Tinkerbell." Because why the flip not? An evil grin spread across his face. This was fun- he should think up some more in his spare time. See which one irritated her the most. However, he wasn't going to go ALL out, as she only had one horrid Nickname that he despised set out for him.

"I know there's a reason for it, but you said not to get noticed." He shrugged. Running water was quite loud, in his experience. Especially at 4 am. "That I will do. Which means our stops will have to go in the order of clothes, return, then whatever crap we have to do." He wasn't going to get any new clothes he got dirty with blood and grime he hadn't washed off. Axl did know he'd feel MUCH better after a shower, however, and maybe he could find a surgical tool or somethin' to get the remaining three pieces of shrapnel out of his back. They weren't deep in at all, and were small pieces, but he was sick of bleeding whenever he moved too much.

"Uh-huh. Well on that note I ain't calling you daddy, and if I do it's code for 'Shit's hit the fan either help or save your ass'," Norrie retorted. At least he had some amount of standard there. "Riiight. Because I'm poisonous to horses," She said, wrinkling her nose. "Yeah I don't think so. Buuut... if this career ever fails me, just know that my stripper name will be Glittoris. Do with that what you will." Glittoris was, of course, a play on words of a certain aspect of female anatomy, and a damn good one at that. Now he TOTALLY was NOT allowed to steal that one. It was GENIUS. And it was HERS, even though it'd probably never get used. Thankfully. Still, always good to have a backup plan.

"Ohhh he was listening," Norrie lilted. Imagine that. And to his credit, running water could be louder than your mom falling out of bed. "Bingo. Let's get going then." She was very much not a morning person, and some might say she wasn't a day person at all, and they'd be right. Nor was she a night person either. Even 8am felt too damn early to be doing shit. She made her way begrudgingly to the garage once again and took the same humvee as before. That one was just the superior one. The motor purred to life and Norrie let it idle a few minutes and warm up. Thankfully most the people who were out were doing their work like little ants regarding the wall and remains of the mess hall, so the humvee went pretty unbothered on their way outta there. Just some bored glances.

"I would very much appreciate if you didn't." Axl wrinkled his nose. Good lord. That just sounded SO wrong. "And noted." Honestly, if he ever heard her say that, he'd very quickly go into fight or fight mode. He didn't have a flight mode. "The idea was that you're poisonous to everyone, but I'm sure if a horse bit you, they'd be disgusted." He snorted drily. (I ain't kiddin, that's my Nickname that my dad calls me. As he likes to say, I'm beautiful and poisonous xD)

"Worth a shot." His lips pressed together as he tried not to react to THAT name- but no, a strangled cough slipped out anyway. "I don't know what to do with that information, but it WILL be stored." That would more than likely be the code name he called when everything went south. Because WHY the flip not? It was darn cunning, though. Bottom line. And he hadn't EVER heard it before.

"Hey, I listen to a lot more than people give me credit for. Everything goes in, I decide how important it is, then it either gets stored or tossed out." Hers just happened to get stored because he didn't want to be caught. Being the loudest person in the building was sure to get him noticed, which was the fastest way to get caught.

Axl followed after her with his unnaturally silent footfalls, sniffing the air every once in a while, his ears twitching periodically. Per usual, his shoulders were tense and slightly hunched, less like he was stalking something and more like he was trying to be shorter. Which did work, to some small extent. Just no where near enough. In any case, it would be easier ... a little... not to be noticed when he was fully clothed and cleanish. The night before he had discovered- a bit late- that there was a button ish thing on his wings that immediately made them fold up and become the size of a frigging wallet, and that had him silently fuming for a while that he wasted the time to make them able to take off. Still, it was fine. It was all fine. In the moment, they were in the pocket of his cargo pants, conveniently the right size. His brain was sharp as ever but his body felt sluggish and aching and tired. He really didn't know how he made it for 2 weeks without sleeping once. He must've been in a flippin' coma by the end. Usually he got the sleep he needed by being knocked unconscious. Now, without that happening, he'd have to find a new way to get to sleep. Then again, he was sure Norrie would be more than happy to whack him over the head with a board or something. He climbed in the humvee again, ignoring the little stabbing pains in his back and shoulder and .. okay, everywhere.

"Lucky for you I won't," Norrie said. You could not torture her into calling ANYONE that. "Uh-huh. Annnnd how do you figure?" She asked skeptically. Was bitchiness a flavor? Norrie didn't think so. Then again, some stoner somewhere would probably argue that they COULD taste bitchiness. Well GOOD FOR THEM, they'd probably been awake for 3 days drinking paint thinner. (I love that xD)

She smirked smugly at his reaction to her AMAZING stripper name and said, "Good. It may be used as a safeword in the future, ya never know." Now, logically, it was GOOD to share random-ass shit like that with a select few people in case you needed something only those select few would know, so there. Annnd since Axl was probably the only person aware of Glittoris, that could prove to be useful some day.

"And, lemme guess, most things are deemed pretty unimportant?" Norrie suggested with a snort. In all fairness, she couldn't be bothered to remember most people's names, or diddlyfuck about them, so she had no room to talk. That wouldn't stop her though- when had it ever?

The way Axl walked - without making a sound, as though not a single dust particle was displaced - was almost a little unsettling. Norrie only knew he was there by the fact she could see him in her peripheral vision, much like those shadow figures everyone claims are ghosts. A very tired shadow figure judging by the gait, though. Idiot needs sleep.

She drove maybe a third of the way to town, still on the dirt road, when Norrie's phone dinged. With a few grumbled swears, she dug it out of her pocket, and that grumble became something like a very angry man in a library trying not to be shushed by the librarian. The words she read and the words she interpreted weren't exactly the same, but the latter got the point across just fine, so I shall relay that version instead of the stuffy office version.

"For once, you wouldn't do something just to torture me even if it'd hurt you too. Thank the lord." Axl rolled his eyes, voice dry. Since she was the type of person to fly across the ocean to smack you and laugh in your face and say 'I told you so', he only expected her to be the type of person to call him that JUST to disgust him. "Because you LOOK like you taste disgusting I DON'T FLIPPIN' KNOW." He scoffed. "And because you haven't been eaten by a horse yet, there's THAT. If you DID taste good to horses you would've been devoured by now." So there. Actually, it was unlikely. Though, horses did tend to go to extreme lengths to get food if they thought it tasted good.

"Don't get too smug, but goodness gracious good lord almighty I've heard many weird names that belong in Ripley's Believe It Or Not, creative names that people should get medals for, and stupid names that make NO sense, but that is unique." Unique in every meaning of the word, good and bad. Even thinking about it made his nose wrinkle as he supressed an amused snort.

"You've guessed correctly. The amount of useless crap people spew out both ends is insurmountable." He snorted harshly. If he had held onto every piece of stupid information that people blabbed about, his head would've exploded by now- nad he hadn't even seen the outside world. That was just the fighting ring, mostly. The people that came through THERE wanting to WATCH and BET ON that stuff were crazy in a way ALL ON THEIR OWN. Quite a few people had gotten rich and gone broke because of him.

His boots left perfect footprints in the dust and gravel without a hint of smudging, whatever slight sound that came muffled by her steps. His stride was much slower, so his feet fell maybe every two of her strides, if not a little less. His nostrils flared as they walked outside, the sheer amount of scents almost overwhelming his mind at first. Then they started sorting themselves out, and good god- it was amazing. Just walking along the gravel road, near the GRASS- REAL GRASS- the scents were the best part of it all. The sights were nice, and the breeze felt great against his bare skin, but the smells. Someone 6 or so miles away was eating a corndog, with a dabbling of mustard but only because they dipped it in the ketchup and their younger sister had mustard on their corndog and they dipped theirs in the ketchup. He could smell all the animals- instinct twitched his ears towards the side of the road, where a mouse scurried along, and a snake watched it with cold, reptillian eyes. His head tilted and his pupils slitted slightly. The snake flicked out its tongue before tensing as if about to strike forward, and as he was walking, he brought his foot down between the two. One little step, and in the blink of an eye, the snake was gone. The mouse froze in absolute terror before currying away. A smile curled onto his lips as he continued walking. Farther up the road, off to the right, a raccoon crouched by a stream, washing a crawfish it had just gotten. To his left, in the field, a mother deer stand, and a couple dozen yards away, a fawn laid. Axl lifted his chin slightly, moving his focus upward. A robin sat in a nearby tree with a squirming worm in its beak. The scent of the worm dulled, then another thing caught his attention. A falcon, soaring above, he could see, was watching a lopsided pigeon struggling along. The fear scent of the pigeon was a seconds burst of delight, then he watched as the bird went limp. So wrapped up in what was going on around him, he did not realize was the buzz was, and it penetrated his senses like the whistle of a missile. He flinched and sidestepped away slightly, tensing quite a bit. His claws had shot out at least halfway before he stopped them. He had been so relaxed, and now his muscles ached again. Damnit. He thought, shaking his arm slightly as he realized what the noise had been. "Anything I need to know about?" Unlikely, but worth a shot. He kept his mind open to what was going on around him, but focused mainly on Norrie now, not wanting to get startled again.

"Oh I know, such a rare occurance," Norrie said flatly. Just about anything else to torture him, regardless of the consequences to herself, though? Abso-fuckin-lutely. No pain, no gain, after all. "I'll take that over the opposite," She said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "Ah, true. Those judgemental hoof-bags are hella gobblers." If she did taste good, she'd definitely have been hunted down by horses and been absolutely devoured. Good thing horses apparently didn't find the flavor of human flesh delectable.

"Why thank you. That was kind of the idea," Norrie said, totally disregarding his instruction to not get too smug. There was no such thing. At all. Glittoris was a FANTASTIC name and thus Norrie DESERVED to be smug for having come up with it.

"The double-dragon of detrimental dim-wits," Norrie said almost solemnly, if not for the undertone of amusement. People were just dumb as shit, period. Most of them ought to have a license just to SPEAK and spew their shit everywhere. Norrie'd overheard a child at a petting zoo ask if a shetland pony was a baby because it was small, be informed of how ponies work, and then say with utmost confidence ponies aren't real. It made Norrie question the child's parents.

Watching Axl's reaction to the wonderful world of outside was almost something akin to amusing, in all honesty. It almost made Norrie appreciate having relatively free will to go outside and touch grass. Nah. She wondered idly if being in a vehicle would affect his senses any, maybe muddle smells or something. Probably. Or maybe not, that cold be why dogs liked to have their heads out car windows, they get ALL the smells and sights and sounds at once. Doggo overstimulation.

"Uh, yeah. Fuckin Hauffman says we get to go deal with those fuckwads' chumps," Norrie grumbled unhappily, "Oh, and we get to take Jackson." By get to she meant have to, obviously. Fucking JACKSON. What good was he? Maybe someone to direct insults at, but that was Axl's job. Meat-shield would probably be his sole purpose. Maybe a distraction, if needed. Hey Jackson, go run in the direction of the big bad evil guys with guns so we can go the other way and escape. Will you be okay? Oh Jackson, always asking such silly questions! With a little Rust-Eaze -and an insane amount of luck- you too will be juuust fine. Ka-chow. Hey, could be entertaining, at least.

"It is." Axl huffed. They differed there- she went to find trouble, he let it come to him. He would deal with rouble and he'd deal out trouble, but he wouldn't make trouble where there wasn't supposed to be. HER, however- SHE would do WHATEVER she could to PISS people off. "I would too, and they are. However they are also either extremely cruel or sweethearts, and I've managed to only meet the extremely cruel ones. I've been kicked thrice and I've only been close enough to be kicked to two horses." He snorted. Those grudge holding morons were EXTREMELY fight or flight, and as soon as they saw him, they apparently thought: FIGHT. Because why not? He had been unable to defend himself, so it would be fun. He had become the laughingstock of the base for at least 4 or so weeks. The big horseshoe bruise on his chest hadn't helped.

He rolled his eyes at her smug smirk- she failed miserably. Still, it was a special name. To say the least. It sounded just like something she would think up.

He was 100 percent convinced that almost all people deserved the sign 'I'm Stupid' hanging around their necks at all times. Then he wouldn't accidentally mistake them for being sentient beings. He had watched as an officer showed a rookie Axl for the first time, and after a bunch of questions, the rookie finally just said 'but wolves aren't real, how can he be mixed with one?' Axl had given the guy the most incredulous look ever, then vowed NEVER to overestimate anyone again. He had watched another young son of a gun have to be EXPLAINED to that cartoons weren't real. A couple hours later, the same guy came back and immediately stepped on a rake that was leanin against the wall at just the right angle. as he got unceremoniously smacked in the forehead, Axl had to watch him yell at the sergeant for 30 flippin' minutes that they lied. Another - a butterbar, this time - had tried to move a folding table with a heavy box on it. Imagine how THAT went. Axl had almost died of laughter more times than he had of bleeding out or somethin' like that. When he had been being led through the office room once, he watched this 17 or somethin' year old stick his finger in one of those manual pencil sharpeners. The scream as he turned it had been deafening. (This is a true story xD. I literally watched dumbfounded as this teen- maybe 15 or so- stuck their finger in a pencil sharpener, looking puzzled, and turned the handle. The blood made me start giggling and groaning for the future of our race, and I heard they got 18 stitches or so)

He sniffed the air once more before reluctantly focusing on what she was saying. Damn that he was supposed to be a lethal weapon- or a mature-ish adult- he wanted to be let loose in a flippin' field so he could romp around and smell EVERYTHING. He felt like a frigging newborn cub, and he both hated and loved it. Hated it mostly, but the stimulation was much appreciated. Axl twitched an ear at her words and heaved a quiet huff. Of course they'd be sent to go fetch the terrorists. Lucky them. at least he'd have clothing to do so. "We whaaaat?" He groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "That moronic blockhead will either get killed or get ALL of us killed." That's what he had gathered, knowing the idiot for arund a day. Plus, Jackson didn't like him and he didn't like Jackson. They had mutual feelings towards each other. His lip curled in disgust as the smell of blacktop hit him like a freight train, and he licked his fangs, eyes narrowing as the small house-ish thing appeared in the distance.