Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 192   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Clear with Temps dropping into the Teens
Forecast:
Thu 07:52pm  
Stables Online:  90 
Chatbox
Acacia Riding Center
07:51:58 
guys is this filly worth keeping? -HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
07:50:17 Arctic Katz
Wonderful, Myth
Mythological
07:47:56 Crowley
Powers back on!
Angels angels
07:34:16 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I need Animal Paradise to get online so I can buy two of Twisted Starfalls straws
Glacier Bay Cove
07:33:39 Arctic Katz
I will be happy if I can earn 5k Ebs by the time RO gets here
Angels angels
07:32:28 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Lmao I was trying to figure out what caterday was x'DDD
Eagle Creek
07:31:55 Eagle
Capture*
Fantasy Horses
07:31:46 Fantasy | Fanta
Tobi
Exactly! I don't know why I wanted to win her from that auction lol but too late now! She can do it, I know she can.
MakeEm Fancy
07:31:38 Ally 💜
I have two matches im doing and two others I might do
Eagle Creek
07:31:33 Eagle
I'm like 85% sure I'll just be pulling embryos this ro, I over spent on caturday and I would need 2 filly svens for my matches lol oops
Imperial Warmbloods
07:30:36 Imp/Impie/Impy
I`m over here with 1 AD match and.. gosh, a ton of SD matches, xd
Tobiano Lady
07:29:46 Tobi 👻
I will be mad with you. She needs at least a 200k profit somewhere lol
Angels angels
07:29:26 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I need a filly cc med and about 17 filly straw items 😬
Fantasy Horses
07:29:22 Fantasy | Fanta
I have 8 max lol
Fantasy Horses
07:28:53 Fantasy | Fanta
Haha I love it
Angels angels
07:28:32 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I think I have like 22 lol
Fantasy Horses
07:28:21 Fantasy | Fanta
Yikes Angel that's expensive. How many matches are you planning?
MakeEm Fancy
07:28:14 Ally 💜
My goal is 800k by RO and a sven 😅 we will see
Angels angels
07:27:30 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Then I need to have 760k in the bank for RO for straw and embryo fees and freshman straws I am getting
Fantasy Horses
07:27:22 Fantasy | Fanta
Tobi
Oh the wild one? Thanks! If she fails me I will be maaaaad

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Chatbox
Acacia Riding Center
07:51:58 
guys is this filly worth keeping? -HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
07:50:17 Arctic Katz
Wonderful, Myth
Mythological
07:47:56 Crowley
Powers back on!
Angels angels
07:34:16 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I need Animal Paradise to get online so I can buy two of Twisted Starfalls straws
Glacier Bay Cove
07:33:39 Arctic Katz
I will be happy if I can earn 5k Ebs by the time RO gets here
Angels angels
07:32:28 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Lmao I was trying to figure out what caterday was x'DDD
Eagle Creek
07:31:55 Eagle
Capture*
Fantasy Horses
07:31:46 Fantasy | Fanta
Tobi
Exactly! I don't know why I wanted to win her from that auction lol but too late now! She can do it, I know she can.
MakeEm Fancy
07:31:38 Ally 💜
I have two matches im doing and two others I might do
Eagle Creek
07:31:33 Eagle
I'm like 85% sure I'll just be pulling embryos this ro, I over spent on caturday and I would need 2 filly svens for my matches lol oops
Imperial Warmbloods
07:30:36 Imp/Impie/Impy
I`m over here with 1 AD match and.. gosh, a ton of SD matches, xd
Tobiano Lady
07:29:46 Tobi 👻
I will be mad with you. She needs at least a 200k profit somewhere lol
Angels angels
07:29:26 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I need a filly cc med and about 17 filly straw items 😬
Fantasy Horses
07:29:22 Fantasy | Fanta
I have 8 max lol
Fantasy Horses
07:28:53 Fantasy | Fanta
Haha I love it
Angels angels
07:28:32 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I think I have like 22 lol
Fantasy Horses
07:28:21 Fantasy | Fanta
Yikes Angel that's expensive. How many matches are you planning?
MakeEm Fancy
07:28:14 Ally 💜
My goal is 800k by RO and a sven 😅 we will see
Angels angels
07:27:30 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Then I need to have 760k in the bank for RO for straw and embryo fees and freshman straws I am getting
Fantasy Horses
07:27:22 Fantasy | Fanta
Tobi
Oh the wild one? Thanks! If she fails me I will be maaaaad

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Not feeling good enough.. October 30, 2019 10:28 AM


Aspen Fire ES
 
Posts: 6362
#477768
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I started to feel like I wasn't good enough for anything about a week ago and I was afraid to tell anyone. My depression slowly creeping back into my life...before you say anything, no I'm not looking for attention, no I don't want to speak to a therapist, and no I'm not faking about how I really feel deep down...

I've never saw myself opening up to people face to face but when I'm around an animal, I start to feel accepted for once. Yes I have a loving family and yes I know that they will love & accept me for who I am but...I'm still haunted by the past until my aunt got me to open up more to her. I've opened up to her about the pain, the bullying, the harassment, the hits that I would get for no reason from other people from high school, and the close calls of my stupid decisions of almost losing my virginity that could've gotten me pregnant at 16 or 18 years old...

I had to burn bridges of people that have hurt me and used me...but the painful memories still haunt me til this day and I can still feel it everytime I close my eyes to fall asleep, hearing the voices telling me that "Your worth nothing" "You'll never amount up to anything!" "You'll never be good enough" "No wonder your dad left you because your a mistake!" "No one would love you because of how ugly you are"

My aunt would notice that everytime I'm around an animal, my eyes would light up and it was like I was a completely different person even with my baby girl (she's a calico cat) she makes everything feel okay, she's basically a best friend that I have grown up with and I would do anything for her but the fear of losing her....would honestly break me, even if it means putting her down so she couldn't be in pain anymore and as much as I would love to get back into riding and having my own horses... I'm afraid of living through the pain again from the past..

Anyways, I've finally got what I wanted out of my chest for a long time...thank you for reading & understanding this..

Edited at March 29, 2022 08:46 AM by Aspen Fire ES
Not feeling good enough.. November 1, 2019 12:29 AM


WarriorMaiden
 
Posts: 232
#478864
Give Award
*hugs* Depression is no joke. And honestly, it's okay to not want to see/talk to a therapist. Therapy doesn't always help. (Speaking from experience there...) You do what helps you. If you ever need a listening ear, feel free to message me. :)

Edited at November 1, 2019 12:29 AM by WarriorMaiden

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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