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Hi, I want to keep this as vague as possible, but very long and complicated story short, I had a falling out with a former friend and they are trying very, very, very hard to come between me and a mutual friend via constant passive aggressiveness towards me. Our mutual friend is in a position to put a stop to the behavior but refuses to see it for the most part, wanting to give the other friend "the benefit of the doubt" and I am at my absolutely wits end with everything. At what point is the mutual friend not my friend anymore either, and you call it quits? I absolutely love this person, and the thought of losing them makes me feel ill. But my mental health is starting to suffer because of this, and I do not know what to do. Is there a way to make the mutual friend see the light? I've literally made a flow chart of sorts for them, and provided screenshots a few times (we all hang out in an online environment a lot). If you have any advice, please send it my way because I want to save my friendship but I'm running out of ideas (and patience). Thanks! |
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Best advice is to just hang with your friend and not worry about the former friend unless your mutual friend is starting to take after your former friend. Don't pull the you can't be my friend and the other person's friend crap because that will make you look bad, and may sway your mutal friend into believing your former friend about what they are saying about you. If your mutal friend is really your friend they know you for you, and won't be swayed by your former friend. I have friends that don't like each other but they like me. So I make plans with those friends sperately so they don't have to interact with each other. When they try to pull the you can't be my friend and their friend I just tell them if you're going to be that way then I guess you're not my friend either, because a true friend wouldn't make demands like that, and understands that I can be freinds with whoever I like, and if I realize there is a problem between my friends I will make plans to make sure I can hang with everyone of my friend where they feel comfortable. |
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I heard a phrase that has resinated with me recently. I have lost a few freinds and I miss them, but the miss has been a lot less lately because of this. "People come in and out of your life for a reason. Some stay and some go. But the reason they go or stay is ether you need them to teach, love, to give you insight, or personal growth. And sometimes they are there to remind you what a wonderful person you are and stay." I have had a lot of hurt, and sometimes its hard to let go, but now a days, I am a better person letting go and without the drama they caused, and healthier too! You will find your way. :) |
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Crisp, Clear, and Cool
