I just feel the need to get this off my chest. I'm to scared to tell anyone I know (the joy of no one knowing me irl).

I came home early from school today because I just randomly started balling my eyes out. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression since I was 12. I'm on medication that seemed to be working up till now. I haven't as shit as I feel now in about 4,5 months. I feel as if I'm annoying everyone around me. My brain know thats not true but it also continues to convince me otherwise. I have two best friends who help me a lot but with this new 'wave' of shit I feel like I can't tell them anything. Not that I dont trust them, I trust them more than I do myself but my anxiety makes me beileve that I'm just throwing all my problems in their face. I need to tell someone that I need more help than counciling, pills and doctors but I'm just to scared to ask.

Putting this on HEE is not me asking for people to give me reassureance or whatever I just wanted someone that I don't know personally to hear this.

Aww. I get it. I had an anxiety episode last week in school. The first. Scary as poop. Almost didn't come back too school the next day. But I'm not doing counseling or anything. I'm too scared to admit that I need help. But it's not about me, just that I get where you are coming from! In my opinion, I think a dog or other support animal would be the best option for me if I decide to get help, and maybe that's something you can look into? I am very against taking medication, but also note that with medication, your not a guaranteed stop, just a lessened effect.

Thank you, I've told my parents and I'm getting more help. I already have a dog, two cats and two birds who are all a great distraction ^^

Unfortunately i know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like you're annoying everyone around you. The feeling sucks, a lot. I personally overthink every little interaction i have with my friends and collegues and i am paranoid about being rejected by someone i care about, which is why i worry about being annoying and oversharing and being a burden on everyone around me and talking about myself even though no-one is actually interested but they're too polite to tell me to shut up and not asking people enough about them. It really is a horrible feeling but ask yourself this, do you really, truly trust your friends completely and trust that they would never lie to you about such things because they know that you worry about it? If the answer is a definite yes or even just a probably yes, then that is one thing you know you don't have to worry about. You will still worry about it because unfortunately logic is nonexistent when these thoughts hit, but it might help. I tell myself this on a daily basis but even so, some nights i keep myself up thinking about if and why the friend i know 100% would never lie to me about anything especially in this topic actually hates me and feels like i'm using her and wishes i would just leave her alone. I'm sorry, i know this is really long and mostly about me which i realise. I'm not telling you this to turn the attention in myself but rather so we can all share such experiences and tell you that you are not alone in this, I get it. You will get through it and discover the value that is you, your true, wonderful self. You will learn to see the value in yourself and find it easier to believe that other people see it too, you will be okay with yourself one day i promise. You are loved, you are appreciated, you are unique and wonderful and if someone can't see the value in that or pulls you down for daring to be yourself, they are not worth your time or brain cells wasted overthinking and taking to heart what they said. Please know this. I know that you can hear thousands of nice things said about you but you will only remember that one bad one, out of thousands but those nice things, but the nice things are meant. You deserve friends, you deserve to be loved and respected. Honestly most people are so caught up in their own flaws that they don't even realise the little things about you that aren't completely perfect because you're human. No-one is perfect, and you daring to be you brings so much value to the world, so please go easy on yourself <3

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I overthink everything I do and it is never in a good way so a lot of the time I freak out. I feel better when I can talk to someone and have somebody there with me so I can calm down. If you ever want to talk PM me and I would be happy too!

So this is a bit of an update, I had been doing fine for a good month almost 2. But very recently my best friend has been struggling with eating issues and won't go to her family because they are horibble about it to the point they said it would be embarasisng to have an anorexic kid obviously making her feel really shit (fyi shes not anorexic). I have had a smaller eating issue not too long ago that she knows about so she feels most comfortable coming to me about is because I'm one of the only people she trusts with such information. Eventually it became the only thing I though about, I put her mental health before my own I guess I thought I could do something but I've come to relaize Its not something I should be worrying about as much as I am. So I told her that on my behalf I can't keep doing what I was and I needed to focus on myself especially since that just because I am and can eat healthily again it doesn't mean my mindset on myself has changed very much so her going on about it makes me feel shit about myself. However it hasn't really stopped, its just in person instead of over text now. I've began feeling like I can't eat in front of her after she said that us eating in front of her is trigering (us being me and my other friend). I think the most alwarming thing she said that really really effected me was yeterday (our school gives free lunches) when I told her I would be back because I was going to get a cupcake because they looked really good and she told me not to so I didn't. I want to be there for her but I know it's better if I'm not for my sake and I need to start putting my happiness before hers and I don't know how to do that we tried not being friends but it didn't work.

I would tell her that you are sorry she is struggling with eating, and you understand where she is coming from and you support her and value your friendship, however, you need to eat too. Feeling sorry for eating, or not eating because she tells you not to is wrong, and can cause a lot of problems for you.

Hi, Kiwi!

I understand how you feel and I hate you are stuggling with this, annoying thing. I have been struggling with anxeity and all sorts of mess since I was in middle school (I'm 25 now). It can be hard to understand it and know where to start. It has taken me years to finally get a better understanding of it, but I still struggle at times to know why it comes in waves and appears out of the blue. Sometimes it's triggers other times it's situational or random.

It's really good you have friends that help you. I struggled for many many years in silence for fear of telling my parents because I didn't want them to think I was crazy or send me to the psych ward. Many people like to say "oh, it's just anxiey, everyone has it". But, it's so not the same. It took me a while to slowly reach out to doctors and theapists on my own before I even told my parents and at times my mom, still thought I was being "ridicuilous". I have been diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety disorders (yes, they are a real disorder) and I still have my anxiety on a daily, though I have ways to cope, I am no longer on meds due to the zombie like feelings and waves of bad depressed it personally, gave me. But, don't let ANYONE tell you that you are crazy, that's it's just "anxiety" or that you are ridicilous.

Anxiety takes your breathe away and it sucks at times. All I can say, is this never goes away and it can't be cured, but there are so many things out there that can help you handle it better and to cope. If you ever want someone to talk too about this or need more advice or someone to rant to, my inbox is always open. No Judgement Here, on anything <3

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vKL5K_n6Z0

*speaks on how anxeity can be*

I am so sorry to hear about your friend, her parents should be more understanding of her condition/current struggles. I hope that she seeks peacefulness in your kindness to help her (remember, to take care of yourself as well) as a friend. I shall pray for you both! <3

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I've also been feeling this since I was young and I've never been able to talk to anyone about it. I suffer from depression, social anxiety, verbal and emotional abuse, and ADHD. My parents and siblings shut me down and whenever this happens I cry. I fell in love with this one boy from my school and I got his number over the summer. We texted ALL the time and I REALLY, REALLY liked him. My friends always told me that he liked me back and I believed them. Him and I would call all the time and he made me very happy. One time we got in a fight and we weren't friends for awhile. I fixed this and we're now friends. He said we were too young to date but within the first 2 or so weeks of school he found a girlfriend. He didn't know the girl and I thought to myself, "Was I never good enough? Did this summer mean NOTHING to you?" I cried myself to sleep alot of nights and I never got over him. Why would he date someone he doesn't even know? I hated myself knowing I never amounted to anything to him. I started starvinv myself sometimes and even attempting to slit my wrists. There were so many nights of no sleep and I'd wake up grumpy. I hated it and I never told anyone about it. It's easier if you tell someone than keep it in. It truly starts to kill you. Stay strong and keep you mind open! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Quote:

I know you may be hurting now, but darling it'll get better. The frown on your face will turn into a smile, one day. Your tears of sadness, will turn into your tears of happiness, someday. You may feel like your life is falling apart, but honey it's only the beginning. All you need is a brand new start. -K.B.

(Quote is not mine!)