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Sun Ranch
01:31:53 
Spp and PEP rare color fillies for sale
-HEE Click-
Palais de Lys
01:24:01 
-HEE Click-
EEP frame RID filly.
Golden Heart
12:37:15 Gold
-HEE Click-

Come check out my art shop! I would really appreciate it :)
KPH Equestrian
11:43:39 Jake From State Farm
bookin it
art auction
-HEE Click-
Darkwood
11:29:34 The Seeker
Art Auction
Painted Summer
-HEE Click-
Whispering Wood Barn
11:22:05 ~Whispy~
193 WWW TBLB
-HEE Click-

193 WWW TB
-HEE Click-

My fellow color breeders, I am looking for new blood :) ISO:
-HEE Click-
Rancho Redondo
10:57:44 Trini
TB Well Rated Color Studs and Upcoming Studs to Watch for Next Season!! 500 EBS No Breeding Reqs!!

-HEE Click-
Watercolored
10:39:56 WC
*edit, willing to pay up to $400k ebs
Four Peaks Ranch
10:11:05 Four
ISO 1/3 month upgrade, name your price!

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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