Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 192   Season: Winter   
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Amethyst Ranch
03:22:42 Echo <3
WWW SH Svenned colt out of MF Jett for sale
-HEE Click-
Hazardous Ranch
02:17:42 LF:Brindles/Chimeras
-HEE Click-
Dash and Duchess
01:46:53 T1 Artist, W+ seller
Desperately seeking a tesoro straw!!
Port Royal Equines
01:29:05 ISH Bravery 4 Sale!
-HEE Click-
Brindle, Bravery, and Geldings for sale! I need em gone ASAP. All cheap.
MANIA
01:25:31 
EEE TB stallion for breeding - need EEP of any combo to breed, known EE producer and EEE.

$500
-HEE Click-
Platinum Plaits
01:20:13 Payton
Or see: -HEE Click-
Platinum Plaits
01:17:45 Payton
All EEW-EWW stallion sale! Many with rare colours, including a 1/1!
-HEE Click-
Sono Reizin
01:12:10 Sono
-HEE Click- ends in a few days if no bids will keep or reauction
Sono Reizin
01:09:04 Sono
looking for W bravery horse trained to 100% message me the price you are wanting
lass
12:47:22 Captain America
-HEE Click-
Auction!
Ends in 15 mins!

3 young EWW horses and more!!

Prices start at $500

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



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Amethyst Ranch
03:22:42 Echo <3
WWW SH Svenned colt out of MF Jett for sale
-HEE Click-
Hazardous Ranch
02:17:42 LF:Brindles/Chimeras
-HEE Click-
Dash and Duchess
01:46:53 T1 Artist, W+ seller
Desperately seeking a tesoro straw!!
Port Royal Equines
01:29:05 ISH Bravery 4 Sale!
-HEE Click-
Brindle, Bravery, and Geldings for sale! I need em gone ASAP. All cheap.
MANIA
01:25:31 
EEE TB stallion for breeding - need EEP of any combo to breed, known EE producer and EEE.

$500
-HEE Click-
Platinum Plaits
01:20:13 Payton
Or see: -HEE Click-
Platinum Plaits
01:17:45 Payton
All EEW-EWW stallion sale! Many with rare colours, including a 1/1!
-HEE Click-
Sono Reizin
01:12:10 Sono
-HEE Click- ends in a few days if no bids will keep or reauction
Sono Reizin
01:09:04 Sono
looking for W bravery horse trained to 100% message me the price you are wanting
lass
12:47:22 Captain America
-HEE Click-
Auction!
Ends in 15 mins!

3 young EWW horses and more!!

Prices start at $500

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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