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For those of you who don't know me, hi. I exist. *waves awkwardly* I wrote a story last summer, submitted it to an anthology, and it got published (I have a link to the google doc containing that short story on my profile page :D) This year, I wrote something in a free write for AP Literature that I've decided is an idea worth exploring. The free write itself is in my blog somewhere, in case you want to check it out (it's not polished at all) So I decided- I'm going to write a medium length story about it! As of this post: -I haven't exactly settled on the plot. There are a handful of concrete ideas I have picked out, and they have to do with making the story as eerie as possible. -Characters I am still working on. -I've got a kind of "prologue" finished, and I would love any thoughts or insight into what I've done so far. Critique is welcome. As are questions. This is the link to what I've got so far: (the name is not final and I am open to suggestions) |
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Hey, Tea! Love the title, already has me thinking "What in the world?" Awesome job! |
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SweetFire Fields said:
Hey, Tea! Love the title, already has me thinking "What in the world?" Awesome job!
I aspire to inspire confused horror. :D |
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Oh my god I LOVE IT. I don't really have any critiques, you're doing great so far! Honestly for your first draft, get words on paper and worry about grammar and word choice later. Write the story. Write it your way. After that's finished, take a step back and look at it objectively. Get some other people to read it and suggest, read it out loud, and that's when you get the flamethrowers out and burn the thing to pieces before stitching it back together into a final draft. Tl;dr: write the damn thing and edit it into a real book later. It looks awesome so far! |
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Sunshine Jumpers said:
Oh my god I LOVE IT. I don't really have any critiques, you're doing great so far! Honestly for your first draft, get words on paper and worry about grammar and word choice later. Write the story. Write it your way. After that's finished, take a step back and look at it objectively. Get some other people to read it and suggest, read it out loud, and that's when you get the flamethrowers out and burn the thing to pieces before stitching it back together into a final draft. Tl;dr: write the damn thing and edit it into a real book later. It looks awesome so far!
Thank you! :D |
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That was amazing! The word choice is perfect and really gets the story across well! You have to let us know when this is finished because it is something I would love to read! |
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Birch Wood Barns said:
That was amazing! The word choice is perfect and really gets the story across well! You have to let us know when this is finished because it is something I would love to read!
Aww thank you! I'm glad you all seem to like my elevator murder weirdness xD |
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If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor? Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence. |
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Sunny
