I want to write something.
What's worth writing about here?
In this space?
And on this day?
I want to write about him.
Not the 'him' that everyone else writes about.
I don't want to write about romance.
There's a man who knows me
more than any other friend.
There's a man who cares for me
more than my own mother.
That's who I want to write about.
What makes him special?
It's more than just 'he loves me.'
There is a meme I've seen.
It's a silhouette of a girl,
she's sad and maybe scared.
You can see the tilt of her head is cast down
and her hair is stringy and unwashed.
She's curled inward and clutching at her sides;
Like she's guarding herself from the next blow.
In the background there's a jumbled mess of words,
drawn in jagged lines to represent the jagged thoughts.
Evil thoughts against herself.
Then it changes.
The next panel is the same girl,
now lifted upward
and gazing into the eyes of another silhouette.
It's a boy, gazing back down at her.
The words in the background change
and the only thing you see
is a simple and smooth lined:
'him.'
In the same way,
the words described this girl
just like how my life was described
as jagged and against me.
I curled inward
and I hated myself for the things I had done.
I was once the victim,
and then I was the offender.
How else could I have controlled the whirlwind of hatred?
What was more effective to protect myself than to become 'hatred'?
At least this time I wasn't the one being hurt.
And in the same way,
the boy was the peace for the girl,
just like how he is the peace for me.
Except, it’s not romance.
The meme is just an example.
We all long for this thing,
But it's not romance.
Deep in the inner being of a human
lies a spiritual need for love.
The kind of love that offers safety, compassion, patience...
We all need mercy, and we can all have it.
But it's only through him.
So, I want to write something.
What's worth writing about here?
In this space?
And on this day?
It's Jesus.