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Malakai Negri - Kai listened and nodded. "Babe, even if we never had a baby, the kingdom would still be fine. If I die, you become Queen. If we both die, my mother would rule until my sister comes of age and she'll eventually have her own kids. The kingdom will be fine no matter what. I want to start a family with you, because I love you, not because I want heirs," |
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Camery Valatieri - Camery sort of looked up at him quietly, trying to understand what he was saying to her. She'd been so conditioned that she had to carry heirs - that was her job. She'd marry the first born son of whatever kingdom she was to marry into, and they'd have children. Their first born would be set up to rule, and any other children would be there encase anything had happened.
You didn't have children because you loved someone, you had children because you needed to carry on your bloodline. That's what she was told, anyway.
She nodded and bit her bottom lip after a moment. "I love you too, Malakai," she murmured softly. "But I wasn't taught that way. I want to have a family with you, but I have a duty to have children too..." she trailed off slightly, not sure what else to say. She wanted a family with him because she loved him, but she did have the responsibility of carrying the future prince or princess. She though so, at least. |
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Malakai Negri - Kai smiled softly at her. "Well, do you want to have a baby right after we get married? Or do you feel like we need to have a baby right after we get married?" |
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Camery Valatieri - Cam looked at him for a moment, clearly a little lost. "I... both?" She almost asked. She did want a baby. She wanted Malakai to sire the child. He was so good with his siblings, she couldn't help but think he'd be the best dad. |
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Malakai Negri - Kai smiled and chuckled. "Well, which do you feel like more?" |
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Camery Valatieri - Cam cocked her head thoughtfully. She never really thought this was a conversation they'd have. It was pretty normal to start trying for children right after marriage, so that their heirs were able to take over when they stepped down or died. This... wasn't a normal situation, though. She loved Kai more than anything, but she still felt like she had a duty to her own kingdom back home. After all... there was no one else to take over the day kingdom when her parents passed. Only her.
"Malakai, I love you so much, and you know what. But I feel like we need to have a baby - like as soon as possible," she murmured softly. "And it's not that I don't want a family with you, because I do, but it's always been drilled into me that my husband will want heirs," she paused for a moment, sort of cocking her head up at him, not sure what to say next. |
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Malakai Negri - Kai nodded. "Then I don't think we should have a baby right away. I want you to want a baby. Like really want one. Not because its going to be an heir." |
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Camery Valatieri - Camery felt her heart drop just a little when he said they should wait - it didn't feel right. She didn't see why it made much of a difference, either. Why did it matter if she really wanted one? She did want one. They needed one, right? She cocked her head slightly and looked up at him through furrowed brows. "...Why?" She asked simply. "We'd have one sooner or later anyway - and don't you want one?" She asked quietly. |
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Malakai Negri - Kai gave her a soft look. "Babe, this is what tore my parents apart. My father wasn't always like he was," he explained gently. "When my parents got together, before they got married, my father was a good person, kind, generous. But right after marriage, they were so focused on having a baby, because they thought they needed an heir, even though they were 19 and 21 with healthy parents. My mother had countless miscarriages and stillborn babies before they had me, because of the stress and pressure of it all. It made my father the man who would beat his kids and wife. They both lost sight of the joy of having a child together," he explained. "I don't want to become that. I want us to have a baby because we want to have a baby together, as a couple. I want a baby, I really do, but not because I need one to be an heir. And until you feel the same, I don't think we should have one," |
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Camery Valatieri - Cam went quiet next to him as he explained, although it still hadn't made her feel better. She felt like she had a job to do. She'd been told that was her job. She'd been told that her husband would want this. Of course, she never knew exactly who that man would be, or what he'd been through until now. She didn't want to do that to her own children.
Her eyes dropped back to his chest and let out a defeated sigh. "I didn't know that," she whispered. She didn't want to go through that... or put any young people through it. She wanted them to know they were loved, the same way she was loved as a child.
Still, the idea of waiting are away at her. She'd imagined coming away from their trip pregnant. It seemed like a good time for it... she supposed it wouldn't happen anymore, though. Her face dropped a little, but noded quiely. "Malakai, I don't think I'll ever feel like that. That's the only reason my parents had me - they needed an heir," she murmured softly to him.
"And I want a family with you, but it's never going to leave my mind that my child is an heir. Does that mean we're just not going to have children? I'm not going to see if differently," she whispered. |
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Evening Thunderstorms, Hail Possible
