All Star Stables said:

This is a terrible situation that you shouldn't have to be in. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I would recommend going to an adult you trust and telling them everything that is going on. Your mother should absolutely not be acting so irresponsible and using you! I understand it might be scary to tell someone, but it's best if someone you trust knows about your current situation. They can be there to help you out. You should have 100% a say in what happens to you.

Even though Christmas might seem like it will be crashed this year, I'm always here to provide you with virtual gifts and hugs <3 :) I hope you feel a little better and things start to clear up for you.

Greenheart, I am so sorry you are going through this situation. It breaks my heart to hear about parents who aren't there for their children. You are so brave and strong for coming as far as you have in life.

Have you ever reached out to a school counselor regarding your situation at home? A lot of times they can help process what is happening at home and offer you support.

I'm not sure where you live, but my school district does what we call Sub for Santa. Students raise money for their fellow students who can't afford Christmas gifts. Once again, this might be something to talk to your school counselor about when you get back from the break.

In the meantime I would suggest trying to find pleasure in the small things; maybe even write it down in a gratitude journal. It can be seeing a beautiful house lit up with Christmas lights, eating a sweet treat, or capturing a beautiful horse on HEE. Even though your Christmas might not be filled with presents try to find gifts in the world around you.