I have a new roommate and she is absolutely awful. I say new but I have been living with her since the end of Januray, early February. She moved in as a replacement for a roommate of mine who had to move due to her University being located over an hour away and the commute being too much (she was only getting about 2 or 3 hours of sleep). Well this new roommate took over her contract, we will call her Sam, and moved in without the apartment people really knowing or notifying us. The first week Sam moved in, my other roommate (who we will call Maria) and I had no problems with her. Since Sam and I share one side of the apartment, Maria never really interacted with her or dealt with her... until recently.

We live in a 4 bed, 2 bathroom apartment but we only rent the room. The common space is a kitchen and living room. The first week Sam moved in, she went on a date with a guy she met on Tinder. After their first date, she brought him over and he slept at our apartment but she never told us he was coming over. Maria and I were pretty upset with this but left it be since we were thought since she was new, she didn't exactly know the rules of how things are run. It does state in the housing contract she is supposed to let us know and ASK first before she has people over since we are still considered student living so its more dorm-like. Anyways, he left that morning and we didn't see him for about a few weeks. Then he started coming over more regularly and none of these visits were announced at all. One morning, I got a text at 4am from my other roommate who gets up early for work and class, saying that there was a naked guy hanging out in our kitchen and living area. So when I woke up later at 6:30, I was careful since I had never met the guy and am not interested in seeing any random dude in the nude in my apartment. Sure enough, there he was. So I brushed my teeth in my room and Maria and I had a conversation later with Sam about her needing to tell us when people are coming over and asking first but also that we do not want to see nude people walking around our apartment. She got upset and said she paid rent so she shouldn't have to tell us anything.

Fast forward a few days and she announced her parents got a new puppy and that her dog, Sophie (who has severe separation anxiety and is destructive) was going to be staying with us permenantly because her parents didnt want the new dog to be around Sophie. So now we have a dog living with us who we did not agree to having live with us. The apartment approved her because she is a toy poodle and I guess Sam said it was okay with us. Sam did not have food or water bowls, dog food, toys, a crate or anything for Sophie when she moved in. The dog tore everything up in th trashcan because she left the dog roam free in the apartment and she was howling for hours one night at 11pm. That same night, Sam brought back her boyfriend without telling us and locked Sophie out of her room.

We have had countless conversations with Sam about this. She says she cannot afford a crate for Sophie and that again, she doesn't have to tell us anything because she pays rent. Well, for the last 5 days, without notice, her boyfriend has been over here. They made food 3 days ago and never cleaned up the mess. There is a pile of dishes that I am simply not cleaning because it is not my responsibility to clean up her messes. But she was using my dishes and just left them there in the sink. The counters are nasty and have smashed banana and peppers on them. I had enough so I took all of my dishes (all the silver ware, kitchen knives, mixing bowls and strainers, chopping blocks, can openers, plates, bowls, and measuring spoons - all of which I bought) and put them in my room. If she can't respect me, she can't use my stuff. Then Sophie pooped on Maria's rug in her bathroom, that turned into a huge mess, and now I am just angry. And I am being pretty hateful towards her but I don't know if what I am doing is necessarily right either.

I don't see anything here that indicates you're an asshole? This is entirely on Sam disrespecting you and Maria, and being unfair/cruel to her dog. I would go to the head of the apartments/dorms, landlord, whatever your situation is, and explain it all. Take photos, keep a log of the times the boyfriend has stayed over, etc. Text Sam asking her to not bring him over and that you never wanted the dog, so that you have a written record that you did not approve of these things and she did them anyways.

I've talked to the apartment people and have been taking photos. But I'll be sure to text her and let her know once again. We do have record of her leaving raw chicken out for 2 days, her bf being naked in the common area, her dog being destructive, and us having a conversation with her about not having him over without telling us. Since we texted eachother in a group chat about that. But it's a good idea to log it all like you suggested which I will do! So thanks!

As far as me being the jersey in the situation, my mother is very much like "don't be rude, you're being mean." But my dad is saying I have to be a little rude to get my point across. Whereas Sam is over here saying I'm being ridiculous and extreme.

That isn't so not true. You are being perfectly acceptable... Sam is a mess. My condolences... I feel bad for you

Thank you both. I had a class over zoom today and had quit my job due to mental health stuff so I am almost always here during the week now. Well they didn't know i had a zoom class today and so I stayed here. And they starting talking about me while I was in my room. I overheard the conversation where they were saying I am a b*tch, petty, and not being an adult and then proceeded to make fun of my eating disorder and mental health/anxiety/depression stuff I have been dealing with and have been going to a doctor for. I recorded part of it and reported them both to the apartments who are marking Sam for lease violations and both Maria and Sam being called out for bullying/harrassment. I was so angry and am currently super hurt. I ended up going for a 2 hour walk. When I came out of my room to go for this walk (i live in a huge city by the way), she goes "is something wrong? do you have a problem with me?" and I said nope, I'm going for a walk and then walked right downstairs to the office and reported her then went for the 2 hour walk. I got back and she was gone, abandoning her dog in the apartment who was howling when I got back.

Wow... that's scary, sad, and amazingly unbelievable. I can't even imagine how horrible that would be...

Oh my god? What the fuck? I hope something comes of the reporting, or maybe they can move you to a better room. That's so shitty of Maria. (Sam is... not a surprise)

They said if it happens again then they will have a whole formal sit down conversation with them. But I dont even want to live here anymore. I'm so fed up. I only have 2 weeks left since my parents agreed to come and move all of my stuff out while they are driving through here in the summer. And then I'll be staying there with them for a few days. And I'll finish out the semester here but will be staying in a hotel on the 12th of May. And then flying home. I'm not giving them anything in the meantime. I Dont even want to talk to them.

Today on what my roommate has done: Sam accused me of stealing her forks and spoons... she only had 4 forks and they were all in the dishwasher and in the sink because she forgets to clean them. I checked again anyways to put her mind at ease to make sure I didn't have them. Which of course I didn't. All of the patterns on my Silverware match and I got them from Walmart so I know exactly what mine look like. But yea, she tried to accuse me of stealing. And then proceeded to break the lease agreement again by bringing her boyfriend over without saying anything. They are here now and locked the dog outside of her room and she is clawing at the door. I'm debating on if I should report her again or not for another lease violation. But I feel like that is being super extra and unnecessary to some extent? I don't know. I'm just frustrated.

Nah just keep reporting her ass