One of my old trainer's favourite things to say to me (because I was quite anxious when I was younger, and was often reluctant to try anything like a big canter or higher jumps)

me: *busy freaking out*
Trainer: *forces me to try anyway*
me: *mildly succeeds*
Trainer: "See!? You didn't even die once!"

My mum (aka my trainer) told me this yesterday "slow your ass down to slow his feet!" When I did so he stopped and I got impaled buy the saddle horn

My trainer has said almost all of these to me 😅

I kinda feel bad for the horses that are being riden whilst the rider is being trained by any of these trainers

Her: "Im going to put this imaginary egg under you, dont crack my egg"

Me: two points

Her: "Anddd my egg is all over the saddle"

.

.

Her: "Its like ballet if it hurts your doing it right"

.

.

Her: "Smack her with the crop like you would smack your brothers!"

Him: (a cowboy) Get your hand on the horn! Do you think you're a **** cowboy? You wanna look cool or be dead?

Me: (gladly and quickly grabs horn)

Him: You'll look pretty stupid dead. What a dumb way to kill yourself...

Me: (tries not to cry and keeps loping without reins)
Him: (continues rant about how everyone thinks it's so cool to not hold the horn)

Horse people are a TOUGH kind of people 🙃

A classic "the jump isn't going anywhere, EYES UP!!"

*mare starts bucking*
"SH*T GRAB ON!!"

*doesn't grab on and just pulls her head up and rides it out 😅*

*bucking subsides*
"There you go!"
-
*cantering around bareback (without a bareback pad >.>) gelding decides he's had enough of my sh*t and starts crow hopping, then bucking*
"WHOA WHOA PULL BACK PULL BACK! -- You were squeeezing too hard, go do it again but relax"

-

"Shorten your reins....more....SHORTEN THEM MORE!"

-

-(different trainer)-

*loses both stirrups mid-canter because apparently I just kept my heels down and didn't actually put weight in them 😭*

*freaks out a little (even though I wasn't really using them apparently??) and starts wobbling around like a baby deer before righting myself and stopping*
"hey look you didn't fall!"

(me) "yeah I'm not used to an English saddle after so long"

"oh right you usually ride in a western saddle. Oops xD"

-

"alright (other riders) come to the middle!"

*starts looking around to see who she wants to stay out (spoiler, she meant me xD)*
*walks back out to the rail*
"okay, ask her whenever you're rea- you do want to canter right?"

(me) *has not ridden this horse in a year* "uh yeah?"

-If you don't put your heels down then you'll go over his head!

-*To Flies* "I Kill you!"

-left leg, Left Leg, LEFT LEG

-Why are you pulling on you right rein? I don't understand why your doing that

-*to horse* "You are such a brat!"

-*I feel horses back round and pull her head up* "Why did you do that!? Why did you pull her back!?"

-*horse runs me into fence* That's it I'm comin' in there!

all of those are actually so funny and so real

"She looks like a giraffe get her head down!"

"Good recovery but your not gonna make that- okayy 100% commitment love it"

"More leg MORE LEG"

"I said OVER the jump, not around it"

"COMMITMENT"

"Get. him. in. that. corner."