Gemstone Stable
05:57:14 Snow❆Gem
@bay

I wish we had snow on the ground the whole winter instead of it being muddy so much.

@versa

Wanna trade?

@eury

Understandable. Big storm fronts make a few of my joints hurt, I can't image more of me like that...
Ocean River Stables
05:56:52 Ocean, Dawn, Aero
@ gem

I'm wishing you luck!

It is and isn't. It is hard to move in personally, but that's a height issue. Walking campus is just as fun
Versailles
05:56:22 Versa
And it's nice to not walk out to my car and see a foot of snow that I have to then remove in those temperatures, plus de-ice. It's gross lol
Neverfade Manor
05:55:50 Storm
Same Eury
Versailles
05:55:32 Versa
I just moved to one, now. Much to my appeal. It's nice to be out of negative temperatures
The Old Gods
05:54:52 Void Malign
Cold just makes me hurt
Glacier Bay Cove
05:54:34 Glacier cats
I live in an area that very rarely gets any snow
Versailles
05:53:45 Versa
I'm sure over time I'll come to miss it. However, for the first 24 years of my life, I was in areas with snow. Freezing temps, all of that. I'm pretty done unburying my car so often
Glacier Bay Valley
05:52:07 The Brindle Princess
Unlike some people, I miss the snow
Gemstone Stable
05:52:05 Snow❆Gem
@ocean

Wowie! And thank you. :D I just hope the power doesn't go out tonight, we do have a woodburner going but its down in the basement. ;P

I hope its walkable snow, I'd like to go for a walk in the woods.
Versailles
05:50:11 Versa
Yucky! I see people struggling with snow. I hate snow lol. Please stay safe and warm, loves <3
Ocean River Stables
05:49:13 Ocean, Dawn, Aero
Gem... holy crap...
It did that at my home, 5in of snow and now it's just freezing rain.
I went back up to school yesterday. It started snowing around 4pm and hasn't stopped... we have at least a foot on the ground and are expecting 18.5-22in on the ground in total. I haven't checked the winds yet. Classes got canceled for the first time since the 1980s.
I wish you the best Gem
Journey Acres
05:47:58 Journie
-HEE Click-
Just a little interest poll, if you wouldn't mind voting :>
Angels angels
05:46:04 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Thanks >.>
Glacier Bay Cove
05:45:17 Glacier cats
Crossing my fingers for you, that he does well
Gemstone Stable
05:45:00 Snow❆Gem
@ocean

Here it freezing rained this morning, turned to snow at 3pm, and now winds are up. They are calling for up to 70MPH winds! O.o
Angels angels
05:43:47 [1k+ brindles] Angel
-HEE Click-
Week 4..
Glacier Bay Cove
05:43:26 Glacier cats
Angels, why
Angels angels
05:43:10 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Scared for tomorrow..
Hot 2 Trot
05:42:04 ♡Holly♡
hi
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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1206
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3692
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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