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Sage just sort of sat there quietly while Mari cooked, trying to figure it all out. Eventually, though, the food was done, and he took the food from Mari, murmuring a quiet thanks to her. He didn't really feel like eating now, though, so he sort of just picked at the food and slipped the bigger bits and pieces to Amber, who was waiting under the table for the scraps. He did it easily....Mari didn't catch the slight movement, especially since he was rather fidgety overall. He was a bit uncomfortable too....he still felt like he'd really screwed something up, but the issue was he just didn't know what he did. How could he apologize and ask forgiveness if he didn't know what to ask forgiveness for?
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The girl gave a bit of a smile to him before sitting down next to him... it was uncomfortable, and a little bit awkward, too. She ate quickly, though not that she managed much. She just kind of felt... ill. Not like she had before, though. Like she'd messed up somehow. She grabbed his plate once he'd finished and went to wash up for the two of them, along with the tray. She eventually took a breath, though didn't look at him before speaking. "Sorry," she murmured quietly, looking down at her hands as she scrubbed away at the plates and trays. "I'm not angry, or mad or... anything... why would I be," the girl told him with a small sigh. "It's just me, I promise," she huffed eventually.
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Sage sat there while Mari washed dishes. He normally would have gone and helped her...but he wasn't sure she wanted him there. Besides, his stomach was churning and he didn't trust himself to do much. He half jumped when the girl started speaking, and then looked over at her for a moment before frowning. So it wasn't him, that's what she was saying. But...what did she mean by it was her? "Don't know," he whispered in response to her question. "Guess it's just old habits," he admitted softly. But now he was worried about what she'd meant by just her. Was she getting over this? Over him? They'd had fun, and now that she had her child was she just...loosing it all? He knew that probably wasn't the case, but time had brought him and Anya apart...and while this felt different than that relationship, he had thought the other one was genuine too, and well...look how it had turned out for him.
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Mari finished up after a while before putting everything away. She still felt awful... she'd tried to explain, but there was no real way to tell the boy that she was scared of doing this with him. But it wouldn't just be him... it would be with everyone. She was never very good with pain, and now she was absolutely terrified of hurting herself. She had always been a bit... cautious with intimacy, but that wasn't because she didn't enjoy it... it was more so because of her past, but things recently had certainly thrown her off. She eventually groaned and leaned forwards to rest her head in her hands on the counter, not at all sure about how to tell him about all of this.
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Sage sort of just sat there for a while, though the girls groan only made him more confused. What was wrong? Was she hurting and just trying to get through it or something? Or was she mad at him? Or just... rethinking all of this? Rethinking him. He eventually picked up Silas, hugging him close to his chest in an effort to comfort himself, even if just a little bit. It didn't really work, though, so eventually he sighed and pushed his chair back. "We should head back," he murmured before standing up and walking out of the kitchen slowly. He made sure Mari was following, but she stayed behind him again, no matter how slow he walked. By the time he got back to their room, he felt sick....his head hurt, his stomach hurt, and his heart hurt, too. He knew he was kind of being a bit overdramatic but....his past had made him that way. He wished it hadn't. He wished this wasn't so hard. But...he supposed he had to deal with it somehow. He decided to just draw Silas, in hopes that sitting at the table and drawing the happy baby would help him a bit.
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Mari eventually took a breath and followed him along, arms crossed around her stomach as she wandered. She'd try and talk to him later... when they were in bed and both relaxed a bit more. She didn't want to ignore anything, because it was clear they were both a little bit anxious about each other as of then. She watched him settle down with Silas, starting to draw before wandering over to kiss Sage's cheek lightly. "I'm going to grab a shower," she told him before wandering off to the bathroom and turning on the shower. She got unchanged quickly, and hoped into the warm water... it was definitely a comfort to her.
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Sage hummed and nodded when the girl informed him she was showering, and small smile crossing his face at her kiss. At least she was still doing that...and it did help settle down nerves. Not much, but at least it was a little bit. (Bit short lol)
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Mari let the warm water run over her, just letting her muscles relax a little bit. She took a breath before forcing herself to switch the water off and slip out of the shower. She got changed into some more comfortable clothes than her rags before slipping back into the room and clambering onto the bed, where she pulled her knees up to her chest while she watched both Sage and Silas for a few moments... the baby nodding off to sleep a little bit, and Sage drawing the child... god, she did love him. She definitely needed to talk to him a bit... she didn't want him to worry that she was upset or mad about anything.
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Sage drew for a while longer, until the picture suited Silas perfectly. He scrawled the date in the top corner, like he always did for his pictures, and then sat back with a sigh. He was tired, he supposed, but not tired enough for bed. He sort of just tapped his fingers on the table before noticing Mari sitting on the bed. "If you're tired you don't have to stay up," he hummed. "I just don't feel tired enough to sleep right now," he noted in slight complaint. He was tired and wanted to sleep ....but he didn't feel tired enough to sleep. Weird combination, but whatever. Besides, he wasn't all too sure that Mari wanted to cuddle up with him tonight....and he didn't want to make whatever this was any worse.
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Mari frowned a little bit when he said he didn't want to sleep... did he look tired, so did he just not want to curl up with her? She didn't have a clue, but she didn't want to drive herself crazy worrying. She hadn't wanted to drive him off by backing off earlier... but what if that was what had happened? What if he was fed up with waiting for her? He had his child now - a mini him, but what if that wouldn't be enough to make him stay? She should know well enough that wasn't the case... but it was still in her head that it could be. What if her alone wasn't enough? She eventually shook her head and grabbed a book from the side to read for a little while, until she was happy enough to settle down for bed.
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