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Rose spun, hhearing him. "Caden." she said, running over to him and wrapping her rms around him. "You're okay. I'm here. It's alright." She murmured, holding him and laying there with him. "Calm. You're okay." She murmured over and over, Holding him gently and trying to comfort him |
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Caden jolted awake and sat up quickly,chest heaving,eyes wide.He looked at Rose before dashing into her arms. "Am I okay though?" |
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I don't know. "Yes. You are, love." She said, rubbing her hand along his back. "You're here with me, and i'll make sure you're okay." She murmured, watching him carefully. Holy shit, he scared me. She thought, kissing his head |
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"And i'll do the same for you,just as i've promised myself." Caden answered,just as quiet. +*+ WHY DO YOU STILL EXIST +*+ I don't know. Caden stayed silent as he held onto Rose,repeating what he had been. My name is Caden Ortiz.Im 18 years old and have a girlfriend named Rose.Why am I not dead?I should be dead. |
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"What is bothering you? Specifically." She asked quietly, kissing his head again and rubbing his back continuously |
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Caden cocked his head from side to side once before answering. "Anxiety,depression,the voices.I can never silence the voices.They say awful things.Stress,the wall of fog i've been living in.The fact i'll never look at water the same way again...." He trailed off and stared down,refusing to look at Rose. -Shes going to think im a freak.Should've just pushed her away,not draw her in.- |
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I don't know how to help him. "It's alright. We don't need to go near water and i'm here to help you through the fog if you need it." She said, forcing him to look up at her gently |
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"Its not alright and its not a passable fog this time,this one has settled and does'nt want to leave." He said,pulling himself away and walking out of the bedroom.Caden went downstairs and pulled on a shirt and tennis shoes before quietly heading outside and walking,trying to clear his head. |
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"I love you." She said as he walked out. When she heard the door close, she got up and walked to the balcony. "How do I help him......" She muttered, looking out in thought. Why doesn't he just trust me that i'll always be here for him? At the very least he could......I don't know. She sighed and walked downstairs, Murphy getting up for the day. She pat the dog's head and pulled out her phone. I love you. She sent the text and set her phone down |
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His phone dinged as he looked at the homescreen.He sighed before shoving the phone back into his pocket and continuing on the walk. She does'nt trust me.I messed up badly.I dont deserve her.not worth enough.my fault shes worriing.why cant i trust even myself? |
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Breezy and Pleasant
