General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

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"Yes! I'm obviously better at them." Leo grinned, his eyes sparkling mischeviously. The only way he could get over a traumatizing- whether in a good way or a bad way- moment was to joke about it, so he was doing that as much as he could. "Professor Anubis does have a nice ring to it, but Professional Doofus also does." He pointed out with a snort. He could probably teach, but he couldn't deal with the kids. Even the teenagers- they'd remind him too much of himself, expect without the OPTION to be mature. "Lack of a cool story? Goodness- you're absolutely right." He made it disappear, pulling out a much more twisted, stained, dull cane. "Does pulling bones of out Corrupted and fusing them together count as a 'cool story'?" He gave a wicked smile. Now that was a story for around a campfire. "And I have gotten in fist fights with bears. Believe me, I have the scars to prove it." He winced. That had been particularly painful.

"And call me Leo. Forgot to mention that." He couldn't resist a smile. However stoic he tried to be, the more joking and grinning he ended up doing. It only grew when Glory introduced Jaws, the cutest deer who ever existed. He nodded at her next words. It was truly good to have someone seemingly experienced with them. Especially since her brother was one of the best out front fighters they had. She must be pretty good. "Well, I've quite a bit to do-" He paused momentarily, thinking about what he had to do, which may include more pillow fights, cleaning up the million daggers all over his room, or doing another guitar solo- "so I will talk to you both later." After offering a slight nod, he ambled back towards his own dorm, knowing he needed to clean up something, or he was going to end up stabbing himself.

Lieutenant Dwyer

"I'm not even gonna argue with that," Glory said, grinning. His methods were unconventional, but not really something she'd object to. "If you were paid just to be stupid, you'd be a millionaire by now," She retorted with a smirk. That'd be easily the best way to make a living. Glory'd probably have been paid for Frogmageddon, honestly. She eyed the new cane for a moment before saying, "Now THAT... is awesome." A cane made from the bones of your enemies was something Glory'd do, and she was surprised she hadn't already. Well, The Bone Collector was similar, though instead of a cane it was a bone-stealing monster, which only wanted bones with no flesh, and was kind enough to return the meat after harvesting a bone. "Why am I not surprised?" She said, shaking her head in an almost 'boys will be boys' way. That sounded like him, and she'd've placed her bets on Leo.

She scratched little Jaws under the chin again, then gave Leo a slightly questioning look. She was pretty sure he had nothing to do... except maybe clean his room. Which, Glory no longer had an excuse not to. Darn. No more telling herself it could wait since, at the moment, she had nothing better to do. "I better get going," She said to Sorrow, "Nice meeting you." She turned and left the room, walking slowly through the hallways, trying not to justle Jaws, who had fallen back asleep. Entering her room, she surveyed the mess again. Sadly, the knives she'd kicked under her desk hadn't grown legs and put themselves away, nor had the swords in the corner. She sighed, lifting Jaws off her shoulder and setting him on her bed. He woke up and blinked at her, his big brown eyes gazing fixedly at her. He stood, ambling to the edge of the bed, his eyes pleading as he begged to be picked up. "Sorry Jaws, you gotta stay there," Glory said softly. "Now sit, Jaws." He did, like the very good deer he was. "Stay." He didn't seem too pleased about this but didn't move. "Good boy," Glory said fondly. She went on to organize everything as well as possible, part of which meant sorting her swords by length and type on a rack on one wall. It also meant checking the sharpness of everything pointy, pokey, or stabby, with her thumb and finding out the hard way that yes, they were quite sharp. Satisfied with her work, she flopped down on her bed next to Jaws, who promptly hopped onto her stomach and curled up happily. She considered going to Leo's room, but with any luck, he was also organizing to some degree, and she didn't want to interrupt a rare occasion such as that. Although... she should probably ask him about Jaws. He'd said the little creature was alive, so did that mean Glory had a new pet? "C'mon, Jaws, up you get," She mumbled, picking up the deer and settling him on her shoulder. She meandered down the hall to Leo's room and knocked on his door, Jaws chortling happily and nuzzling her neck.

(shit, completely forgot about the RP. What's happened?)

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"A billionaire, mind you. Don't guess lower than my real salary. I'm glad you finally guessed how I get money." Leo snorted. "Under all this fakeness is a Chemist that works with plant juice to kill people. My expertise has been used to create a couple events, including Gastastrophie." He commented, smiling wrly. It only grew as Glory spoke about his new cane. It really was awesome - plus, whenever he looked at it, he was reminded of his favorite torture sessions. "You aren't surprised because it was something likely to happen. It was a valiant win, by the way." He smirked, proud of his accomplishments. It had been a great win. However, the bear still had CLAWS, which it seemed to love to use, so that had been RATHER unhelpful. He now had an extremely long, thick, ugly twisting scar on his leg where the bear had seemingly sank its claws right through his thigh, a long scar on his shoulder, and another one across his stomach. But hey, three scars after a fight with a grizzly is pretty good.

He slowly opened the door to his room, wincing as he saw the tornado of sharp things that came through.... and dumped everything right here. He had to enter carefully as to not get stabbed through the bottom of his sole or bend any of the blades, stepping around each object until he was in a relatively safe place where he could assess the damage. He glanced around again before starting his cleanup, sorting everything onto racks on the walls, drawers, cabinets, and other places. Everything had a place, as he made darn sure if he got the urge to pick up, everything could go away easily. He grabbed four daggers and tossed them one by one at a board, relishing the thud. It sounded so much different when it hit flesh. He then grabbed a couple arrows, slid them into a quiver, hung the quiver up. Grabbed a sword, hung it on the wall. Now his room looked more like an organized psychopath lived here, and less like an unorganized murder suspect. He adjusting a couple daggers hanging from the wall, fixed a sword, then went over to his desk, where drawings lay everywhere. Paper in every corner, pencils strewn all over, and thin tipped markers abroad. Leo let out a small sigh as he started organizing this chaos, looking at each drawing as he did. Some terrifying evil monsters from his imagination, some random slightly scary looking animals he had thought up, and recently, one or two of a new subject. He had the new subject picture, his latest one, in his hand when he heard a knock on the door, so he didn't bother dropping it. He opened the door, a little surprised and not surprised at all to see Glory. He let out a small chuckle as he saw Jaws, shaking his head slightly. "Do you need something? I'm trying to fix this scary mess. The weapons look better, thankfully." He gestured to the slightly cleaner floor and chaotic desk, the paper in his hand rustling slightly. The weapons were still hanging all over the walls and even the ceiling- he had installed hooks for the crossbows and compound bows to hang, so they were up there- so everything was mildly sorted.

(Aussie - Glory and Leo had a pillow fight - Glory lost - and we have a new Sector 2 Lieutenant General, Caaldir Equestrian's character :3)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Of course - billionaire. My mistake," Glory said, rolling her eyes. "Oh, you wouldn't happen to have any coca plants, would you?" She asked, very much not serious. Not like he could possibly have any, nor would he. "And... let me guess, all you walked away with were scars?" She asked. A bear skin rug would've looked cool in his room, plus extra proof he beat the shit out of a bear. 'Yeah, Yogi over here tried to steal my food, so I killed him with my bare hands and now I wipe my feet on him.' Way better. Glory's was more like 'This idiot tried to eat me, so I broke its skull and now I wear it as a cloak.' That was pretty good too.

Standing at Leo's doorway, she tilted her head slightly, glancing around his room. "Not bad," She said, the Glory-Speak equivalent of 'Looks nice, good job', then paused. "We-ell, I do need something. This creature," She pulled Jaws off her shoulder and held him out slightly. "You said he's alive, so does that mean I get to take care of him until he kicks the bucket? He doesn't seem to want to stay in my room by himself. Hell, he doesn't even want to sit on my bed for a few minutes." She'd gladly take care of Jaws, though he'd likely get into trouble if left alone in a room full of sharp things. Yeahhhh, that wouldn't be good. While Glory's room was equipped to be a torture chamber, she didn't want it to look like it had been used as one.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Your mistake." Leo nodded sharply. Obviously, if he was paid to act stupid, he'd be the richest man in the world. He then glanced at her with a quizzical look. "Nooo.. it doesn't have many poisonous abilities." He answered, guessing she wasn't completely serious, but still wondering where the question came from. "Of course not! I have the rug- yeesh Glory, what do you think I am, stupid?" He grinned. It was a nice rug, too.

When she was at his room, he gestured to the rug in the corner, near the bed. "There's the bear skin." He commented, then glanced at Jaws. "He's alive and not alive. He's alive, as in he has a heart, lungs, organs, a brain, all that delightful stuff. However, he feeds off of my energy. He doesn't have to eat, drink, or have any bodily functions like a real animal. If my energy doesn't stop, he never will die or grow tired. If my energy is very low, like if I'm in a coma, he'll also fall asleep, but not die. If I die, he dies, really. Since he's so small, he takes such a little amount of energy that he can just exist and it'll never hurt me." He explained, smiling at the small deer. "Another thing- I may not have created his personality, so he's rather random, but I may have made him have some attachment issues. Also, if anyone he doesn't know tries to get to close to you, there's a 99 percent chance he will attack. And his teeth are VERY sharp. Off of that, he cannot die, or even get hurt physically. He can feel pain though... emotional pain, like if you leave him, he'll get sad." Leo finished with a chuckle. "Quite the creation, if I can so so myself." He chirped happily. Jaws let out a grumble and grabbed Glory's hair in his mouth, tugging backwards with a happy squeak, his tiny tail flicking furiously.

(My poor search history, I now know how to make crack step-by-step💀)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"I meaaannnn..... It can," Glory said slowly. If you consider paranoia, restlessness, and anxiety poisonous abilities, then yes it did. "Hmm, partly?" She said, "Not entirely, at least." Reckless was still the best way to put it, though Glory wasn't about to tell him that. Too many reverse insults might result in a brain aneurysm, given how infrequent they usually were with Glory. Somehow Leo'd managed to collect more from her than anyone else.

Glory's gaze flitted to the bearskin rug near his bed, then back to Leo as he answered her question. She thought for a moment before saying, "So I've got a tiny little guard vampire-deer with separation anxiety and too many teeth?" Useful, actually, since he was pocket-sized but could probably bite people's hands off, though she may have to teach him only to bite on command. The fact that he hadn't been upset when Glory shook Sorrow's hand was reassuring about the new girl's trustworthiness, though it was possible that a tiny deer wasn't the best judge of one's character. "Sooo, if I set him down somewhere, can you feel if he's sad?" She asked, "Or where he is?" She winced as Jaws pulled her hair, and pulled the strand out of his mouth, careful of his too-big teeth. "Bad Jaws, stop that," She scolded him quietly, setting him back on her shoulder. The little deer seemed quite happy with being up there, and as long as he could hold himself there, he could stay. Otherwise, he was going in her pocket, and she had a feeling he wouldn't like that so much. Glory was pretty sure Jaws wouldn't bite her, but she'd rather not find out, especially since at the very least the little deer would probably tear her pocket.

(.... why'd you search that up xD)

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General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Okay okay, it would suck." Leo rolled his eyes. She always had to be right. Or correct him being wrong. One or the other. "Not entirely. I'm starting to wonder if you've gotten hit on the head harder than you thought. Well, I started wondering that an hour or so ago." He snorted, glancing at Jaws with another small smile. His new second favorite creation. Axl was still his prized treasure. "Exactly! Emphasis on the separation anxiety. He will tear stuff up if you leave him." He grinned. Jaws looked so cute and innocent right now, but they little guy would turn into a terror of nightmares if left without his new favorite person. "In a sense, I am connected to him. Kind of. If his sadness is strong enough, I can feel it. I alllllso can hear what he's thinking, and he can technically speak to me, and I can technically return the messages. Telepathic abilities happen on their own when they feed on my energy. I can also tell vaugely where he is, in a general area, but he's so small that it's much harder. However, with Axl, it's quite easy." His eyes sparkled mischeviously as he mentioned the name of his favorite creation. Jaws let out an annoyed squeak and turned around, sitting down facing away from her. He then pretty much just stuck his nose in the air and let out irritated high pitched huffs every now and again. After a chuckle escaped, Leo waved his hand. He didn't exactly conjure the animal, but it appeared out of the mist. A giant metal dog, almost as tall as him, with thick metal armored plates covering the whole body. Sharp, razor like fangs lined the metal dog's jaws, and farther in, sharp rotating grinding teeth. It had perked ears and a long metal tail with a couple spikes on the end, styled much like a bigger, beefier German Shepherd. "Meet Axl, my killing machine." He smiled as the metal dog's eyes flashed red, then it growled at Glory, froze, looked at Jaws, and its eyes flickered to a bright blue. It let out a yip and play bowed before all but tackling Glory, it's tail wagging furiously. "AXL don't you DARE eat Jaws-" Leo warned, about as the huge dog was diving towards the tiny deer. Axl stopped with a low grumble, a mechanic voice seeming to grind out. <"But whyyyy? Looks yummy. Nice to meet you, Glory. He thinks about you a lot."> The dog grinned viciously, his fangs glinting, earning a cold glare from Leo. "Maybe it was a mistake bringing you out." He mumbled. The metal beasts ears flattened, and he hopped off Glory, headbutting Leo aside before trotting through the door and sitting in the room. <"Not a mistake. You can't get rid of me now."> The animal seemed to laugh maniacally.

(ummm... No reason xD My AI search assistant gave me detailed instructions on how to do it, then said "Remember, this is illegal in many countries" blah blah blah, basically 'here's the recipe, now DON'T make it lol)

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory frowned, then actually thought about it. "I... might've? Not sure." Really, anything was possible, especially with Glory, since she was basically an insane Mary Poppins(I'm saying the words, I know MP is set in 1910 >>;) "Great, so not only do I feel bad about leaving him behind, but he shreds my stuff," She said. That wouldn't be good, considering with her luck, he'd get his hands - or rather, hooves - on the few things she had of her mother's. "Hmmm... so, if I talk to Jaws, and he chooses to behave like a good little deer, he could relay the message to you?" She asked. That depended on Jaws' obedience, and while he sat and stayed well enough, whether or not he'd be a nice lil' messenger was up to him. "What's Axl?" She asked, curious. Definitely not a big-ass deer, maybe a bear or something. Glory cast Jaws a sidelong glance as he curled up on her shoulder, huffing annoyedly. "Spoiled deer," She said softly to him. "Ahh, that's Axl," She murmured, watching the large metal dog materialize. She braced against the huge beast's weight as it jumped on her, her boots sliding on the cold stone floor almost a full foot and a half. "Um, hi, Axl. I assure you, Jaws is NOT yummy," She said, then let out a small laugh at the murder dog's words, but chose not to say anything about it. Glory... thought about Leo more than she'd ever admit. "Thank you," She muttered as Axl hopped off her. Who'd've thought an oversized dog would be heavy? She chuckled as the dog headbutted Leo aside easily, which wasn't exactly something most creatures could do. "What's he mean you can't get rid of him?" She asked Leo. Could he not just... dematerialize? Or was the dog just being difficult? Probably the latter, given Axl's already apparent personality.

(I'm just laughing right now at the irony of it. 'I have all the secrets in the world, here's how to make crack-' the ai pauses, thinking, 'oh shit, wasn't supposed to say that', then continues to say 'by the way don't do it you'll get arrested' XD))

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General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo was now a bit worried about her, but he pushed it aside. "Yep. He can identity what looks important, and most likely will choose to shred that." He pointed out helpfully. "Jaws has an ego bigger than mine. He thinks he should be your main priority at all times. And that is NOT my fault- luck of the draw." He snorted. "Yeah, to an extent. Right now he's desperately trying to tell you that you can't control him and that he loves you anyway. He's loyal." Leo grinned. "Now he's yelling at me for reading his mind, and now he's thinking of a cow in a pink tutu to try and block out whatever he's thinking." He stifled a laugh. The little deer looked like it was trying to glare at him. "By the way, he doesn't appreciate being called spoiled, but he also is glad you let him stay there. And yes, that's Axl." He cast a slightly disapproving glance at the cocky dog, letting out a huff as the animal shoved him aside like he weighed nothing. Which was very opposite of the truth, and it reminded Leo how absolutely terrifyingly life threateningly dangerous Axl was. It was a VERY good thing that the dog liked both of them. "He means I did something stupid when I made him." Leo grumbled. "As a safety procedure for me, since he was made to be a fighting machine, cough cough SOFTIE-" He snorted at the dog. "I programmed him to not be able to disappear until he takes my pulse. Out on the battlefield, I don't know if I'll be alive half the time, so I put an extra store of energy in him. It took months to figure out how to do it. However, he can keep on fighting even if I'm unconscious or dead, at least for another day. He can also sense when my energy levels go down, so he will come over and see if I'm alive or not. He will finish taking out the enemy, then take my pulse and deactivate. In a sense. It was most certainly a mistake, though, because as I've found, I can't force him to take my pulse." He smiled slightly. Mostly a mistake because of Axl's personality.

The dog seemed to smile, his metal tongue hanging out of his mouth. <"Which means i decide when to leave. Sadly, I am programmed as well to help Leo, which means I can't completely drain his energy. If I take too much, since I am a big, hard thing to keep up, I will deactivate by myself."> Axl's mechanical voice rang out again. He swished his tail along the ground, studying Glory with his uncanny blue eyes. <"I think we could be the best of friends. I know everything about Leo, and I'm sure we could cause a buttload of trouble."> Axl pawed at the air with razor sharp, not dog like claws, grinning as much as his dog like expression would allow. <"What do ya say, pardner?"> The dog asked, earning a groan from Leo.

"Not okay. You two gang up and I die " He rolled his eyes, stuffing the paper he had been holding into a drawer, then gathering up the rest the best he could, putting each away. "Axl may have helped me plan some of my great plots... I do have to say, he's a great troublemaker."