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(XD not what I meant! It's one of the rare times that my friend is driving instead of me. I'm in the passenger seat. I just meant I didn't have a laptop so I had to use my phone xD. The video says it isn't available for my YT account *screams*) - General Anubis AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "Yeah. It'd all be far too fast." Leo agreed. It was disappointing, but you could always skin at the very end, after you've tortured them with a considerable amount of other horrid methods. "Oh yes, good thing. Only the ego we have to worry about. By the way, we've recieved complaints that yours is big enough it needs its own zip code. I believe- ah yes. There was a letter saying that if they ever wanted to kill someone, they'd take the person to the top of your ego and throw them off. So, yeah, I think you need to work on it." He was grinning so evilly by now that he could've been a supervillian in a movie. He always had some amazing ego jokes stashed up his sleeve- like: Why does it take more than a million sperms to fertilize one egg? 1) Female Ego...
Rejection without Reason!
2) Male Ego...
Won't Ask For Directions! Say that in almost any way, shape, or form, and poof, ego deflated considerably. He had many more ego jokes, one of his favorites being the conversation at the breakfast table. A guy said: I don't love you with all of my heart, I love you with all of my liver. It's bigger. The woman responded: Well then love me with all of your ego. The guy answered: I don't love you that much. Just thinking about it made Leo grin wider. However, it also made him think that he totally would love Glory was all of his ego. It wan't as big as some jackasses, but even he knew that inflation occured with every little compliment. Then again, it could never get TOO big, considering his FATHER had poked so many holes in it that it deflated whenever something was added to it. In any case... ego jokes. Funny. (Your whole paragraph about Alex was fucking hilarious xD) "Well I'll take it as a compliment, then. Thanks." He chuckled at her words. He was glad he wasn't considered disappointing, but he still had some pretty... iffy traits. And quite a bit of the time he felt disppointed in himself, so maybe she was just magic or somethin. "Thanks for the warning as well. I will refrain from eating what you make. Do not do the same with me, though, because you'll be missing out." He grinned, then let out a gasp. "NO. I'd rather be rested than productive." He scoffed, shaking his head. "If you sleep for 8 hours, which never ends up happening, that's 16 hours of productivity in a day. Damn near enough if you ask me." He sniffed. Never would he try not to sleep. Okay, that was a lie. He had done that before. His problem was the insomnia- he couldn't really sleep. However, being around Glory seemed to help that problem immensely, as last night, he had fallen asleep scarily quickly and stayed asleep all through the night. A first in weeks. Apart from when he got injured and fell into a coma for like 2 weeks. That didn't count. He chuckled quietly as she fell limp on her side, right next to Lucy. Kindred souls. He preferred lazily leaning against the wall, as he didn't have to worry about standing up later, but it was still resting. However, a couple hours of leaning against the wall didn't seem fun. His legs would fall asleep, he'd take one step, and he'd crash to the ground because his legs didn't actually move but his body did. |
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(Oh good, I take that back then xD Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ Glory muttered, "That's what she said," hiding it in a cough. Now, she knew that Leo definitely wouldn't appreciate that one, but she really couldn't help it. 'Twas simply the way her brain was wired - by a couple of 12-14-year-old boys and a few monkeys dressed as mechanics, none of whom knew what they were doing. Glory had to suppress a snicker at Leo's words- them's was some damn good ego jokes, and pretty accurate too. "Hey, if my ego can be used to kill somebody, then I've done something right." Now, if he were anybody else, she probably would've busted out the "you're so big you could sell shade" but Leo was teasing her ego, thus Glory had to keep it on theme, but Glory's insults were made for physically injuring people, not lighthearted teasing. Best to say nothing. Leo was the one person she didn't want to insult, especially not to the degree she usually did. Now, Alex on the other hand... Glory rather wished she'd had the chance to unload a slew of insults bad enough to make the little bitch cry. He probably would've. Honestly, he'd bring more value to the world as a cut of meat than a live person, but even then he'd probably be human by-product. The best part of him ran down his mother's thigh, who was probably a prostitute. Hell, maybe Alex would follow in her footsteps. He'd be more likely to have a pimp than be a pimp. (Why thank you, it was a delight to write xD) "Now you're learning," Glory said. Honestly, her traits were more iffy than Leo's. Such as the lack of remorse, utter disrespect to everyone who happened across her path, violent tendencies, and having been deemed 'a danger to herself and others'. Those were just a few, and some of the lesser terrible ones. But somehow Leo managed to put up with all that, though how he managed it, Glory had no idea. Sometimes she couldn't even put up with herself. Glory nodded as he spoke, then snorted. "You sound awfully confident. Are you sure you're actually that good or does everyone just say that to be polite?" She'd gladly eat whatever he made, actually, partly since she knew it'd be perfectly fine at the bare minimum, and he'd gone through the trouble of making food for her, something she generally couldn't be bothered to do for herself. "Riiight, but if I sleep 4 hours then that's 20 hours of productivity," She countered. Which, some days, didn't even feel like enough. But, he was totally one hundred percent right about her never sleeping 8 hours. But, sleeping was often worse than being awake. "You just gonna stand around for 3 hours?" Glory asked, half-mumbled, without moving. |
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(XD that is hilarious! 'Parry with this you filthy casual' I read that with such disdain in my voice LOL) - General Anubis AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "I heard that." Leo groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he again tried to decide between exasperation and humor. He went with ignoring it entirely. Not an option, but since when did he pay attention to that? "Honestly, if that was your goal, good job. I can't fault you." He chuckled, shaking his head. Egos were hard not to come by these days, especially if talking to a teen/young adult. There was so many damn teens at Libodon that hurt his brain because their egos were so inflated they pressed his last three brain cells into the floor of his skull. The amount of times that he had to whallop a teen because they were being cocky about their strength was uncountable. Then again, the amount of teens that avoided him merely because he was 6'7 was a higher number, so he couldn't complain too much. "I do learn, every once in a while." He pointed out with a sniff. One of his braincells usually was sober enough to learn, and even high braincells could learn. So he ws doing better than most people. He let out a laugh at her words, as if they were the funniest thing on the planet. Translating to Ronan-Speak, his laugh would've been a knee-slapper. "Oh, I'm that good." He stated with enough confidence to blow up his ego another couple inches- don't get me wrong, for Leo, that was a LOT. "You will be wishing that you wanted to eat more." He added. That was most likely not true, but hey. He could make some killer dishes. Not for breakfast, though- he couldn't torture her with a five course meal that she'd eat three bites of. He'd keep it delicious and simple. "But if you spend 2 hours trying to get to sleep, then technically you're not productive for 6 hours, meaning only 18 hours of productivity, so you mineswell take some pills to get to sleep faster and sleep for 6 hours." He countered with a snort. He could argue about sleep all day, even though... he never really got it. Damned insomnia. Grr. Leo would appreciate more than 2 hours of sleep each night, but that usually didn't happen. "Yup." He replied with a grin at her mumbled words. "Actually, no. I'd likely die. I will find a place to sit where I won't get stabbed." That was easier said than done, considering almost every surface in her room was covered in pokey objects. |
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(Right? xD And it's rather historically accurate, since firearms were invented around 9th or 10th century China lmfao. Knights have had guns since the 13th century xD) Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ "No you didn't," Glory said, half sheepishly and half innocently. Yes, her humor tended to be on the more fucked up side, but when was that ever a problem? The 'harder than a pedophile at a preschool' thing was a damn good analogy, and no one could argue that. "That was the goal, thank you," Glory said, only a little smugly. It was such fun to duel with students just to absolutely humiliate the ever-loving shit out of them, mainly to prove that yes, Glory's ego was bigger, but it was backed by skill. Unlike the youngins. All of them were bested easily, without a single misstep from Glory, but then again, it was easy to say you were great at spelling when competing in a spelling bee with a bunch of 5th graders. BUT, Glory's argument against that - she had one for everything, mind you - was that she could also beat the brains out of Corrupted, and fighting students was harder since she wasn't allowed to kill, maim, or dismember them. Phooey. "Even a blind chicken gets a kernel once in a while," Glory said solemnly. However, to Leo's credit, he'd learned Glory-Speak very well, and learned that one does not touch Glory's food, pokey things, or Glory herself and walk away unscathed. Or even look at Glory wrong, though she had a feeling from now on all damage on that front would be Leo-inflicted. Not that that was a bad thing; not at all. Sometimes it was fun making people beg for mercy while standing above them smugly, though. She very much liked hearing him laugh like that; seemed like being around Ronan was good for him. "Then I've nothing to worry about, do I?" She said. His next words confused Glory a little, to be honest. "Wished I wanted to eat more..." She muttered. "That makes... not enough sense. If I wished I wanted to eat more, then I'd want to eat more," Glory countered. Or maybe it did make a little sense, like when you were full but still had food and really wanted to eat it. But that wasn't really something she was familiar with, was it? Thus Glory's confusion. Honestly, a lot of the time she really truly felt like an alien, trying to learn what behaviors were normal and what weren't from actual people, but she was failing miserably and on the brink of giving up. "Already thought of that one. I've got enough sedatives and melatonin to knock out a wooly goddamn mammoth," Glory said with a snort. Those and other things, mostly painkillers but a few stimulants as well. She had something for every occasion. "Mmm. Floor's safe. Bed's safe. Desk isn't. Under desk isn't. Couch isn't. Windowsill safe... safe-ish," Glory mumbled, sounding like a lesser evolved species. Which, maybe the alien race she came from was just that. Or they were just so advanced and used telepathy, negating the need to speak, and could communicate through images and feelings like sending a text. |
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(I didn't sign up to get a history lesson! [To be fair I already knew that xD]) - General Anubis AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "You're right, I didn't." He would much rather say she was right and pretend he hadn't, as he didn't want to be forced to decide in between finding it funny or facepalmimg. It was too hard of a decision. So he'd avoid his problems like a coward and pretend he never even heard her. Leo groaned quietly at her smug look. "Sometimes I wonder how stupid I really am, considering I'm practically taking a pump and inflating your ego more." He mumbled to himself, shaking his head. Maybe his three braincells were more drunk than usual. Considering Haymitch and Jack were fighting more lately- over the alcohol, duh- it could just be that they weren't paying attention. He loved how insane he was. Treating his last three braincells like their own people. Ahh, ya gotta love life. He appreciated kicking a students ass more than the next guy, and was way more skilled at doing it without actually hurting them. Significantly. He did remember ACCIDENTALLY breaking a bone once- that's what he told Simara, anyway- and that had been FUN, but that was totally an 'accident'. Mhm. No bone breaking intended. Okay... truthfully he had done it with an evil smile on his face because the student was an 18 year old asshole of a male and since Simara trusted him more than a stupid teen, he got away with it. But hey, no one needed to know that. The jackass had deserved it. They had STOLEN one of Leo's pokey things and was using it! A sword specifically crafted for throwing, and he was using it for hand to hand combat. Ludacris. "In your language that means I am correct and you are proud." Leo smirked. Glory-Speak was probably about as hard as Mandarin to understand, but hell, apparently one of his braincells was just a genius in it. And although he knew no one could touch any of Glory's stuff or her, technically he was not no one, because he had technically kissed her to win a fight and he wasn't dead. Or even seriously injured. So, in his opinion, the rules only applied to everyone but him. Most of the rules, anyway. "Nothing to worry about." He confirmed, then made a face. "You're right, that made no sense." He shook his head, mentally rewinding. "Let me rephrase. Since you never eat a lot, you'll be full rather quickly, and it'll make you wish that you weren't full so you could eat more. Does it make more sense, now?" He asked. Honestly, he hadn't even really known exactly what he meant, so ... how could she. "Or, if you don't eat enough to be full, you'll want to eat more to be full. It could go either way, but the latter will end up leading into the first one, one way or another." He smiled sheepishly as he tried to explain his point. Confusing, still, but hopefully less so, now. "I'm sure you do. Why don't you use it in small quantities, then?" He asked drily, then glanced at her. Leo slowly looked to the windowsill a second later. "For one, how the actual hell do you think I'm going to sit on the windowsill? Or under the desk? For two, you were right about the windowsill, there's a dagger on it but that'd be easy to remove." He snorted in amusement, walking over to the bed and scratching Lucy behind the ears, earning himself a quick tail wag. He didn't need to sit down at this second, and he could just move some stuff. |
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(you didn't, it's on the house! xD It's just so funny to think of people blasting each other on horseback shouting medieval insults at the enemies lmao) Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ "Good," Glory said, in such a way that made it seem that not only did she never say anything in the first place, but if Leo tried to argue it he'd find himself unable to argue much of anything anymore. With Glory, the best option was in fact to be a coward and hide from the problem- aka Glory. She wasn't just a problem, she was the problem. "No no no no, it's like a Jack-in-the-Box, you just keep turning that handle until something pops out, but it's actually carnivorous and trying to eat you," Glory said as if this made sense and was a good thing. Ahh yes, the Shitweasel-in-a-box. Actually, it'd probably steal socks; but only the left ones. When it came to the students, Glory tended to be a bit of a vigilante with her own ideas of justice - basically Batman without the sore throat, Halloween costume, and endless wealth. Batman on a budget, yeah. Once she hadn't even offered this kid any sort of defense, just punched him really, really haymaker hard and knocked him out cold. He'd deserved it though, since he was a big fuckin' bully and massive asshat. Now, Glory may or may not have enjoyed this little walloping, but y'know, she was above the law. Or at least outside it for the most part. Can't get in trouble if you don't get caught. "Well, yes," Glory agreed. Leo's guess that most of the rules didn't apply to him was completely and totally right. Glory was much like a cat- you pet the cat very gently and only where it said you could, and you stopped when you got bit or scratched. That was Glory. One does not simply pet the cat of one's own will, no. One must get permission from the cat, and then do as the cat said. The cat was apt to get bored after some time, but as long as it was purring, you were generally okay. "Hmm, bold of you to assume I can't eat all that much. But yes, that makes a bit more sense," Glory said with a snort. If she really, really wanted to eat something, she'd gorge herself until she threw up, eat some more, rinse, repeat. But that was of course a very rare occurrence. "I do it in medium quantities and get my week's sleep all at once," She retorted. She actually might not mind that too much; sleep one whole day at the start of the week and live off hopes and prayers the rest of the week. Much more productive, and the pain of sleep was reduced to once a week. Perfect. "For one," Glory said, "figure it out, Rapunzel. For two, human origami. And duh, of course I was right. It's my goddamn windowsill, and my goddamn dagger." Now, was it there to be thrown at people below like a god smiting the mortals? Perhaps. "Hey, where's my scritchy scratchies?" Glory half whined, acting jealous of the dog, whom she was sort of imitating. |
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(That is really funny to think about Now that I think about it xD. "You scobberlotcher! Fopdoodle! No wonder your mother wanted to burn you at the stake! Dalcop!" And no, I didn't make up those words. The first one is a medieval term for a lazy person, and the last two mean nincompoop, technically xD) - General Anubis AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ Leo lifted his eyebrows at her description. Honestly... it was exactly what he expected from her. "Yeah, and it has teeth like Jaws and claws like Mori's and loves to drink human blood." He mused. "But tends to heat it up over an open flame first until it boils because it enjoys the pain of scalding its own throat..." He added with a totally serious look. Because yes. That's what it did. No complaining. That was the new truth, and there was no other one avaliable. When it came to students, Leo was just... a terrifying giant not to be messed with. Or, if you were one of the select few he got along with, a good alley to have on your side. He could be either. Most just preferred pissing him off or avoiding him over taming the beast. Which honestly wasn't that hard to tame. It's not like he wanted to scare students, although it was fun, and every once in a while he did it on purpose. Like that one time when he had gathered enough Intel to know one particularly annoying student was deathly afraid of spiders, so he made a giant, very real spider appear, bite her, leaving a considerable wound, and disappear without a trace. That student was still at Libodon, surprisingly, but they barely spoke anymore and had developed a stutter. Totally not... his.. fault. Leo was quite glad that he hadn't been murdered yet, as he was sure, for his acts of unjustice, that there would be some torture and possible skinning involved. He had a stroke in a million of luck to be looked upon favorably by Glory, who didn't seem to look favorably upon anyone but Flash and Ronan. "Not what I said... there are many paths to being full, whether it happens quickly or after a couple hours. I'm talking from experience." He snorted. It was good that it made a bit more sense. It was still confusing to him, and he's the one that spoke. "That sounds just as bad." He sighed and rolled his eyes, but was giving up on the argument. He had to pick his battles, and this one wasn't very important to win. "Do I look like I perform human origami well?" He asked drily, then let out a small snort. "I know I know, sorry for being insufferable." He scoffed, turning his attention back to Lucy. After a moment, he gave her a skeptical look. "I'm not in favor of my fingers being bitten off, thanks." He replied sarcastically, wondering if he'd ever stop being traumatized about the fact that she just asked where her 'scratchy scratchies' were. After a quick mental check, he decided... never. Instead of worrying about that, he returned his attention to Lucy again, rubbing the dogs belly and grinning as she rolled onto her back slightly and let her tongue flop out of her mouth, her tail hitting the bed. |
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(Ain't it just hilarious? xD And I think I recall reading the latter two at some point, medieval insults are hilarious loll also, I'd like to note- my dumb ass has made a small mistake. The term is actually "Scritchy scratchies, that's what happens when one does not proofread very well x3) Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ Glory agreed fully with what he said. "Yeah, and it looks like a legless cross between a weasel and a bloody worm with a rudimentary nub of a head that splits in half to open its mouth and has tiny little black eyes," She added. (This is, almost word for word, the description of the shit-weasels in Dreamcatcher xD) One of the many upsides of Rumor Mill was that Glory had access to a LOT of students' irrational fears and such, and thus was an absolute menace whenever possible. Especially around Halloween, which just so happened to be Glory's favorite holiday. A day where she could scare kids witless and send them running in a frenzied panic? Damn right Glory favored Halloween. Hell, she was the sort to be in spooky spirit all of October, and thus cause problems all throughout, and occasionally the first week or so of November. She treated Halloween like a lot of people did Christmas- start celebrating far too early and stop far too late. Leo was very lucky to still be alive; Glory herself wasn't quite sure yet. He was just different, that was all. Ronan was excused since he was a family friend, and Flash was generally excused for being Glory's literal first friend in all her years of existing, but Leo... Glory still didn't have that one figured out. "Eh. I generally dislike eating, and being full even more so," Glory said. Being hungry was better than being full, and usually less debilitating. Being full was just a punishment for being a glutton. On the other hand, being hungry was a punishment for being dumb enough to either pass up food or not be able to hunt or forage. So, y'know, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Glory just ate enough to keep her body from yelling at her, for one thing or the other. "Well just because I can whistle like a bird doesn't mean I am a bird, so who gives a shit what anything sounds like?" Glory huffed. It was kinda like "Don't just a book by its cover", but instead it was "Don't judge Glory's less-than-ideal solutions by how they sound". "Yes, in fact, you do," She said. Anyone could become human origami if they just broke a few bones and dislocated some things. "Yes be very sorry," Glory said, rolling her eyes. "Y'know what, fair enough." The dog was admittedly far better behaved than Glory was anyway. |
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I wanted to animate her but when I woke up this morning, my emotional instability hit me like a brick and has me thinkin' 'bout the Hemingway Solution, so like yeah no ain't gonna happen today🙃 |
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(It looks amazing! Great sketch <3 I thought you made a mistake but with the crazy shit we write I didn't question it XD I'm frigging rushing so much now because I wanna get to the action *sobs*) - General Anubis AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "Beautiful." Leo nodded solemnly. It sounded like something out of a fairytale... one of the ones where the grandma and granddaughter get eaten by a wolf but no one saves them. He was just lucky, apparently, to be alive, and he was going to take every opportunity he got to test just how far her limits went. Because it was fun. And he was evil. Plus, he was 98 percent sure that she'd just kill him instead of torturing him if he went too far, so yeah, he was fiiiiine. "Right, that's the point. This meal will make you WANT to be full." He pointed out, shaking his head with amusement. "You're difficult." Leo added with a huff. He couldn't get anything through to her. Unless it had to do with inexplicable torture methods. "Thanks for the sympathy." He snorted. "I don't exactly want to become human orgami, considering my bones have just started healing, thank you very much." He scoffed indignantly, leaning against the headrest of the bed as he scratched behind Lucy's ears again. "See, I have a point." He smirked a bit smugly. For the next, like, three hours, it was idle chatter, dog petting, and Leo eventually flopping down on the floor next to the bed, but then midnight grew close to rolling around. He glanced at the clock at 11:43- he hadn't slept a wink, not that he could've- and pulled himself up off of the floor. "Alllllright. Meeting time." He tried not to wince, brushing what might've been poisonous slime off of his arm before giving Lucy one last pat. (I'm sorry it tis short, not only am I rushing but I have a million things to do xD) |
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Crisp, Clear, and Cool
