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(Actually, I already put it into play. It takes a bit of... working on, pre-reveal, to make it better. There is a sentence in my last reply that hints at what I'm doing hehe) - General Anubis Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "Only if you think talking to your thumb is a good idea." Leo challenged, eyeing her with a huff. He wouldn't ever openly call her a moron, but you can't TALK TO YOUR PHALANGES. "I know how bad in would've sounded." He made a face. "So I praise my correct grammar." He added. Plus, for what he wanted, the first option didn't make any sense. In any case... they had avoided a baaaaad joke. Leo grinned slightly. "Like Alex." He agreed with a rather evil lilt to his voice. That motherfluffing duck flying snail sliming shitweasel got what they deserved. He could not BELIEVE the gall they had. He paused for a second, pondering that. "hmmmmm. Okay. I take back what I said. You are improving. Good job." He decided with a curt nod of approval. It WAS true, and he couldn't really deny it. 2 was better than 0, even if not by much. "You may have my pride." He conceded with a royal look, chuckling. He bit back a snort. "It was a woman." He clarified with a grin. "And DEFINITELY not of your kind. Your kind of alien is awesome. They were... a bit horrifying. They had this weird green tint to their skin and their teeth were all crooked." Leo wrinkled his nose. "And their NOSE. Stereotypical fucking WITCH nose. Long and crooked. No wart, though... that was on her forehead." he shuddered. Thinking about that brought up bad memories of that same dinosaur talking to Simara about how she was doing a terrible job teaching all the students cause they were all turning out like shit. "Likely." He agreed with a slight chuckle. Leo glanced at Lucy as she ran around, smiling slightly, then turned his gaze back to Glory. "Well, depending on what you mean, sure." He stated drily. "I'm banned from even going outside for like 3 weeks. That's not happening. But other than that, the dizziness, and the pain, I am good to go. Let's go get some alcohol." He snorted, cradling her tiny hand in his much bigger one. Okay, maybe not tiny for her, but damn. That was a HUGE size difference there. He followed her up to her room, then paused at her door. "I'll be riiiight back." He stated, turning and going towards his room. He entered and reached into his pocket, placing the thing in his desk drawer, then went to the foot of his bed. He opened a cellar like door in the floor- no one ever seemed to notice that in the level below this one, there was a wall and the whole section was gone. That was because he had his little secret room. He tramped down the stairs into the dusty room, going over to a shelf and peering at the bottles. He selected two, then went back up and let the door fall shut, going back to Glory's room. He opened the door and entered. "I'm baaack. Miss me?" He asked with a smile, putting the two dusty bottles down. "I have no clue what one of them is, but the other is some type of expensive whiskey." |
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(Actually, I already put it into play. It takes a bit of... working on, pre-reveal, to make it better. There is a sentence in my last reply that hints at what I'm doing hehe) - General Anubis Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "Only if you think talking to your thumb is a good idea." Leo challenged, eyeing her with a huff. He wouldn't ever openly call her a moron, but you can't TALK TO YOUR PHALANGES. "I know how bad in would've sounded." He made a face. "So I praise my correct grammar." He added. Plus, for what he wanted, the first option didn't make any sense. In any case... they had avoided a baaaaad joke. Leo grinned slightly. "Like Alex." He agreed with a rather evil lilt to his voice. That motherfluffing duck flying snail sliming shitweasel got what they deserved. He could not BELIEVE the gall they had. He paused for a second, pondering that. "hmmmmm. Okay. I take back what I said. You are improving. Good job." He decided with a curt nod of approval. It WAS true, and he couldn't really deny it. 2 was better than 0, even if not by much. "You may have my pride." He conceded with a royal look, chuckling. He bit back a snort. "It was a woman." He clarified with a grin. "And DEFINITELY not of your kind. Your kind of alien is awesome. They were... a bit horrifying. They had this weird green tint to their skin and their teeth were all crooked." Leo wrinkled his nose. "And their NOSE. Stereotypical fucking WITCH nose. Long and crooked. No wart, though... that was on her forehead." he shuddered. Thinking about that brought up bad memories of that same dinosaur talking to Simara about how she was doing a terrible job teaching all the students cause they were all turning out like shit. "Likely." He agreed with a slight chuckle. Leo glanced at Lucy as she ran around, smiling slightly, then turned his gaze back to Glory. "Well, depending on what you mean, sure." He stated drily. "I'm banned from even going outside for like 3 weeks. That's not happening. But other than that, the dizziness, and the pain, I am good to go. Let's go get some alcohol." He snorted, cradling her tiny hand in his much bigger one. Okay, maybe not tiny for her, but damn. That was a HUGE size difference there. He followed her up to her room, then paused at her door. "I'll be riiiight back." He stated, turning and going towards his room. He entered and reached into his pocket, placing the thing in his desk drawer, then went to the foot of his bed. He opened a cellar like door in the floor- no one ever seemed to notice that in the level below this one, there was a wall and the whole section was gone. That was because he had his little secret room. He tramped down the stairs into the dusty room, going over to a shelf and peering at the bottles. He selected two, then went back up and let the door fall shut, going back to Glory's room. He opened the door and entered. "I'm baaack. Miss me?" He asked with a smile, putting the two dusty bottles down. "I have no clue what one of them is, but the other is some type of expensive whiskey." |
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(OOOooo I KNEW it! That sentence had me trippin a little xD) Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ "And if I do?" Glory sniffed indignantly. Even then she knew he wouldn't call her a moron. He may THINK it, and rightfully so in that case, but he was too damn nice to SAY so. "About as bad as I seen," She snickered. That was one of the many grammatical things that bothered her. It's I've seen or I saw. You can't have both, dammit. "Thank you. Apologies aren't in my original vocabulary, so you can't expect me to think about them," She said. It was true; she didn't learn to properly apologize until she was around eight or nine, and it genuinely confused her. Why should I say that I'm sorry when I feel no sorrow? was her argument. "Oooh wicked witch of the east," Glory snickered. "Did she get crushed under a house?" East was the one that got smushed, West was the one everyone usually thought about. Even though poor East got flattened and her shoes stolen. "Hm. The alcohol will probably help with the pain, not so much the dizziness," She mused before whistling for Lucy to follow. Immediately the dog forgot about the people that owed her pets and trotted along obediently. "Okay," She said, entering her room and setting up a folding table and chairs reserved specifically for Monopoly. Or card games. Or Raise Your Spirits. Glory was just dealing out the cash [2 x $500 bills, 4 x $100 bills, 1 x $50 bill, 1 x $20 bill, 2 x $10 bills, 1 x $5 bil,l 5 x $1 bills] when Leo came back. "Very much so," She replied, grinning. "Ooh mystery drink," Glory said. Sounded delightful. "So that we start good and drunk, wanna play a little game first?" She offered. "Truth or Dare, refuse anything take a drink, or, my personal favorite, Raise Your Spirits, tell a joke, you laugh you drink." |
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(You know WHAT hmmmmm??? HMMMMMMMMMM? Exactly what do you know?)
- General Anubis Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "If you do..." He narrowed his eyes and stared at her for a moment. "I will VERY forcefully THINK that you are a moron." he sniffed. He wouldn't say it, though. Leo couldn't muster up the desire to call her a moron. Even if she was talking to her own thumb. "I've always disliked when people say 'Me and Blank' are going somewhere, mostly because I said that ONCE and I got lectured for like TWO HOURS so now tis always 'Blank and I' are going somewhere." He huffed. "It was a very long two hours." Some of the most boring of his life. He nodded in understanding. "It makes perfect sense now that I think about it. I will count every apology as a treasure and will acknowledge the suffering you had to go through to get there." he stated firmly, a teasing tone underlaying his voice. "I wish." Leo looked woeful. "She DESERVED to be. That slimy snail was horrendous. It hurt to look at her, and I don't say that about many people. She must've been older than the universe itself." He mused. He wished he knew what happened to her. She probably died of a heart attack trying to lift a letter. "Yeah.... but sitting will. So I'll drink alcohol and sit down and walla, I'll be cured." He commented wit a grin. When he returned, he observed the Monopoly, nodding his approval. It looked right. He glanced at the drink again and then nodded enthusiastically. "Obviously we have to start Monopoly drunk. I don't want to gain more depression than I already have. Since you said Raise Your Spirits is your personal favorite, we'll do that one first. It sounds like I'd be pretty good at that." He commented with a grin, grabbing the mystery bottle and brushing some dust off. "Yeh, I still have no idea what it is. Wanna take a gander?" He held it out to her, sitting down in one of the chairs with a wince. |
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(Just the alluding to something else in that one sentence I swear I don't know nothing please don't hurt me x'D) Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ "That works, I guess," Glory said with a shrug. Forceful thinking was accepted. Buuut according to Leo, LOUD thinking wasn't. Huh. "Ohmygod yes. Or CAN I. I got lectured about how it's may I since cans have nothing to do with anything," She snorted, "I'm still gonna say can I though just outta spite." That was average Glory behavior for you. "Why thank you. It was very hard to learn the I'm sorry is the right thing to say, not my bad, or worse, your bad," She said with false solemnness. "Huh. Guess it's a good thing she's gone now," Glory said, with not a hint of remorse in her voice. If the old bag was gone... praise the lord, the earth has been scourged of the source of all things ugly! "Wonderful idea," She said, grinning. "Oh it's a great game, you'll love it," She said, and grabbed a pair of shot glasses before sitting down. "My pleasure," Glory said, and tried to read the label, but it was pretty much nonexistant. So she did the logical thing and poured herself a little, making a slight face when she tried it. "Vodka, I think." Not the greatest, but not terrible. "Okay, so, here's how we play: we take turns telling jokes, and if you laugh, you take a shot. Each shot drank gets the joke-teller gets a point. First to, oh say ten points wins. Wanna start?" She said. (Sorry its short I gotta run T-T) |
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You better not know nuthin' I'm bein' SECRETIVE AS HELL HERE) - General Anubis Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "OOOOOO I hate the CAN I people! LIKE JUST LET ME SAY CAN I. Grammar does not matter THAT much! I almost strangled someone when I was in their house and I said Can I keep my boots on? And they responded I DON'T KNOW, CAN YOU? I was 1 fucking inch away from ending their pitiful little life. I responded with something along the lines of: I dunno, can I reach down your throat and pull your intestines out through your nasal cavity? That shut them up." Leo huffed with enough dramatic flair to make his own TV show. "May I just sounds like you're gonna flippin' BEG them." He added with a disgruntled snort. "I dunno why people don't always say 'my bad'. Like, if you're not actually sorry, don't lie and say you're sorry. Say my bad and actually mean it." He shrugged. "And usually Your bad is also true, so that works too." He pointed out with a slight chuckle. "Definitely good." He responded with a curt nod. Life was better without that witch. "I'm sure I will." He agreed with an eager look. Anything with alcohol and Glory sounded great to him. As she tried it, he wrinkled his nose, reached over, and grabbed the whiskey. "I'd prefer this. I dunno why I have vodka- I don't even like potatoes." he joked, but honestly, he disliked vodka most times. And there were very few good tastes of vodka. He nodded at her explanation, preparing himself mentally. "Sure, I can start." (I have so many raunchy jokes that would be PERFECT for Axl but a stretch for Leo xDDD. I am so tempted) "Just say NO to drugs! Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes." He announced in a Ford narrarator commerical voice, smirking. |
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(I doooon't I swear I don't >.<) Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ Glory laughed a little and shook her head. "Excellent response. I hope they remember it every time they start to correct someone." That was just sad; how boring must your life be to need to correct people on something so miniscule? "Sounds like Dobby the fuckin house elf." Master Draco, MAY I keep this BoTtlE cAp? NO DOBBY! But Master Draco, Dobby would love to have to bottle cap. OI SED NO, DOBBY! Beg parden, master. "Exactly! Though you gotta be careful at the funeral of someone you didn't like much to say I'm sorry and not my bad," She said, wrinkling her nose. That'd be bad. Oh, uncle Teddy died? My bad. "Y'know, tequila'd probably better so we could have gasoline shots," Glory said almost a little wistfully. There were a few different versions, but Glory's favorite was half tequila, half Jim Beam. It didn't exactly taste great but that was part of the appeal. Being in a good mood, Glory was kind of failing already. Which sucked because laughing HURT, and the game would only get harder as they went on. A small snicker escaped against her will - it wasn't even THAT good of a joke - and she sighed and took a shot. Whiskey, not vodka. Fuck that shit. "Dammit," She said, though smiling. (Lol we need Norrie and Axl to play this xD) "Okay, uhh... what does a perverted frog say?" She paused for dramatic effect. "Rubbit." Rub it. Fuckin stupid. (Totally not trying to keep it on the shorter side to keep it flowin' good >>;) |
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General Anubis Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "I hope so too." Leo sniffed. "I sure remember the terrified looks on their faces as they shuddup REAL fast." He added with an evil grin. They had been mortified and he had never seen them again. Likely because they were hiding. Cowards. "It does." He barked a laugh at her words. "Mmm yes. Don't say I apologize either. They'll really freak out." He wrinkled his nose. "However, a little detective work later and you can be saying YOUR bad. That's really stir things up." He said cheerfully. We all loved darling Cheryl. My bad.... "True true." He agreed with a slightly evil smile. "I have some tequila if that would work better." He offered, but decided to wait until after this turn. "Any particular way you want it?" He asked, then smirked as she snickered. "Winner winner chicken dinner." He commented smugly. (Yesssss this would be SO fun. I have so many dirty jokes ready) As she spoke, his lips twitched but he didn't laugh. "You're talking to the wrong person for jokes like that." He said sweetly, but honestly, it had taken quite a bit of self control not to chuckle. "Gimme one sec." He stood and quickly disappeared out the door, heading to his room. He tramped down in the cellar thing, grabbed a bottle, then grabbed another, and a smaller one, as there were different combinations. He then went back to the room quickly, entering and setting the new concoctions down. "Choose your pick. Also, "What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student.
The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.
The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."" He stated with a wide grin, waiting for her reaction. It wasn't the best joke ever, but hey, he wasn't doing this to win awards. - (XD actually thank you for this because I only have short amounts of time with the puppy 0-o) |
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Lieutenant Dwyer ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ "I'd expect, that sounds wonderful," Glory said, with all the malicious amusment of someone at the peak of their villain arc. "I apologize for your loss," She said solemnly, then chuckled. Definitely don't say that if you wanted your share from gramma's will. "Ooh yes please," She said. "Uhh, in a bottle? Neat?" She suggested. Oh man... playing Raise Your Spirits with gasoline shots was a surefire way to get hammered pretty quick. "Oh hush it you," She grumbled, trying to hide her amusement. Not easy, with that goofy goober. (So do I, I've even got a lymerick I may share here later on xD) "I know, but most my jokes ain't the kind you'd tell at a grammar school talent show," Glory said. Unless you wanted to be booted off stage, though some parents might find it funny. She mentally sorted through her bestest worst jokes while waiting for him, and had just settled on one when he came back. "Wha'sis?" She asked, then just shook her head and let out a slow breath. "Let's see... a guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."" Now delving into the land of dark humor instead of raunchy humor, though it was still bad. (Awwhaha but its just a puppyyyy) |
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General Anubis Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs +++ "It was one of my more favorite reactions to my threats." Leo chuckled. "And they weren't Corrupted, which made it all the more rare. I try to refrain from telling most people that I will remove their intestines with force. HOWEVER, some people deserve that shit." He sniffed. Those same people deserved to be carefully explained to how he could remove the biggest organ in their body with them still living. Not for long, but enough for the job to get done. . (You'd better xD) "They don't HAVE to be. I appreciate dark humor." He huffed. There were different ways to go about it. He gestured to the stuff. "Make what you want, I'm no bartender." Leo stated with a snort. He'd just take the whiskey. He listened to the joke, and even though he guessed the end, he couldn't help a snort of laughter escaping him. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the bottle, pouring himself a shot of whiskey and downing it. "Alright now. What do my dad and Nemo have in common?" He asked innocently, pausing for dramatic effect. "They both can't be found." He finished with a straight face, his lips twitching into an evil smirk at the end. - (It's a monster that won't let be sleeeeep xD) |
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Sunny
