Lieutenant Dwyer

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

"Proud of you for checking where you're gonna sit before plopping your ass down?" Glory teased. Hey, in her room especially, if one wanted to avoid a trip to go get their tuckus stitched back together they'd better watch their ass. Literally. "Okay. I think I can do that. Maybe," She said. Don't die, that one was hard. Don't almost die, also hard. Don't cause agony, another tough one. Yeah, no, Glory was just doomed to be an injured disappointment. Always had been, always would be, which was a shame because Leo was the only person she didn't want to be disappointed in her.

"Woe is me," Glory agreed sadly. What a terrible problem to have. "Oh you poor thing," She said, and luckily for him Lucy came to his aid. Which means she got up and began the attack of his face with her slobbery tongue. Glory could just about hear the dog thinking I'll make you feel better! in a goofy doggo voice. After letting the dog attack for a short while, Glory told her to leave it! and she did, but keeping her snout close to Leo in case Lucy decided he needed more lickin'. "Knows it, but he doesn't like it," Glory mused. Ma-Fatso may be a pain in the ass sometimes [most of the time] but he wasn't a bad cat. Or a stupid one. (That's wonderful xD Years later, the nickname Ma-Fatso shall still prevail!)

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"I have NEVER sat on a kid." Leo exclaimed in mock offense. "Never even come close." That was, like, the one thing he HADN'T accidentally done. Mostly because they had enough sense not to scramble under him as he was sitting down and he had enough sense to look where he was sitting before he sat. "No maybe. You HAVE to do it." He stated sternly. "No if ands or buts, and no maybes." Otherwise there was a possibility it would happen. They couldn't have that.

Leo tried to ward of Lucy, and when that didn't work, cover his face with his hands, emitting small groans as that mostly failed too. "Call your attack animal off!" He squeaked, peering at Glory with a glare. After Lucy finally retreated, he wiped his face with a wrinkle of his nose. "Ew, dog. Ew." He huffed at her, then glanced at the cat. "I can only imagine. He is a cat, after all." He knew he'd never be friends with a cat, but hoped they would have a truce. (That's literally all my sister calls the puppy now xD)

Lieutenant Dwyer

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

"You sure about that? Like, there's NO possible chance that you just turned one into Flat Stanley by mistake?" Glory asked teasingly. It'd have to be a damn stupid child to NOT move. Or one that WANTS to be sat on like a bird's egg. Too bad, so sad. Go find Big Bird for that, pipsqueak. "That's too haaarrd," She whined, pouting a little. That was more like ENTIRELY IMPOSSIBLE, actually. She couldn't just not almost die or cause herself agony. Tis simply not done. One could HOPE, and possibly bubblewrap poor Glory, but that was wishful thinking at best. Even then bubblewrab would just encourage her to do more stupid shit to see exactly how protective it was.

Glory giggled almost evilly at Leo's squeak, but at least he got what he wanted. "Nooo, not ew, good dog!" Glory chirped. She wasn't the one who just got attacked, but that didn't matter. Still a good dog. Plus, Lucy was great at wet willies without the middle man- tongue to ear, no finger-licking in between. Very good dog. "Don't let him hear that. He's THE cat," She said solemnly. Ma-Fatso was basically the ruler of all catkind according to him, and what he says goes. (Oohaha splendid! Does puppy have an actual name or is he just Ma-Fatso now? xD)

Lieutenant Dwyer

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

"Poor kid," Glory said, shaking her head and failing to suppress a grin. The original Flat Stanley, apparently. Would it be bad no name a child Stanley just because of that? Pfft, nahh. "But it IS hard," She protested. "You can't just forbid me from doing what I've done all my life and hope it works. You gotta use positive reinforcement." She wasn't even joking about spending most of her life almost dying; it'd be a HARD habit to break, if you wanted to call it that. It was just sort of a way of life for her.

"Don't listen to him, Lucy, you're a SPECTACULAR dog, ESPECIALLY when licking people," Glory said. She was obviously a terrible influence on EVERYTHING, dogs included. Ehh not a big deal. Not like Lucy was agressive or downright stupid, so Glory thought she was doing alright. "Much better. He may put up with you, but that's a privelage," She said. Which it really was, it was QUITE easy to piss the cat off and then no more fur buddy. Which was particularly bad in winter because he was a terrific footwarmer. (Ooh I like that. Rip was actually my horse's previous name haha)

"Poor metaphorical kid." Leo added, just in case that was't clear, his eyes twinkling. "I am extremely careful not to pancake any children, thank you very much." He was the epitome of careful. An eyebrow lifted at her protesting, and he studied her for a moment, contemplating the best way to lovingly whack her upside the head while telling her she was doing a good job not dying right now in this second. "Continue not dying and you will get positive reinforcement." He finally sniffed. "Because if you die, you live without me, or cuddling, or any kisses, or anything at all. if you DON'T die, you get all of that. Positive reinforcement enough?" He inquired. "I'll make a deal and throw in an extra kiss or two if you avoid death." he grinned. Or near death. That wasn't allowed either. If he could fix the pain that might be allowed, but with no extra kisses. That's just how it worked. "You are a SPECTACULAR dog just NOT when licking people." He huffed, scratching Lucy behind the ears. "Don't listen to her." He commanded, snorting at Glory. "Uh... huh. I'm so honored. I'm put up with by a cat. Luuuucky me." Leo drawled sarcastically, flopping around so his head was sort of near the pillow and letting out a content sigh. "Corrupted and all, I wouldn't want to be anyplace but with you." He finally mumbled, dreariness starting to take over,

Lieutenant Dwyer

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

"Better than metamorphic kid," Glory mused. That'd basically be a butterfly but also a child and therefore a hideous monster roughly on par with Frankenstein's Monster. "Well... what about waffle?" She asked. Hey, he'd said he didn't pancake children, so that was a perfectly reasonable question. "Mm, cuddles and kisses are pretty worth it..." She murmured, thinking. "Heyyy, is that positive reinforcement or blackmail?" She was kind of thinking more along the lines of blackmail, but hey, potayto potahtwa. Same difference, right?

"Would you prefer biting?" Glory asked, amused. Licking was good. She's met some 12-pound literal anklebiter. If the butt-ugly sonofagun didn't try to rip your ankle flesh to shreds, he'd either piss on your or try to hump you. His owners, obviously, were quite lacking in the smarts department. Long story short Glory kinda sorta kicked to dog - not hard, mind you, he was uninjured aside from his pride - and he didn't try it again. "You're very lucky, he doesn't put up with most people," She assured him. Ma-Fatso was.. a strange case.

As Leo flopped down, Glory almost immediately took up her usual place right up against him, and Lucy did the same on his other side. That dog was a traitor. Or maybe it was because she was used to Ronan and was now going for the next tallest person available.

Lieutenant Dwyer

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

"'Course it is. There's a reason Doc Frank only made one," Glory said. Mainly because 'Doc Frank' was a stupid grave robber who probably practiced necrophilia, but details details.

"You've never had good pancakes, then," She countered. Good pancakes were thick and fluffy and light. You could have thin pancakes that were dense, but those were bad pancakes. You could have thin pancakes that were light, and those were mediocre pancakes. Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

"Knew it. Sorry, but blackmail doesn't work as well," She said with an apologetic grin. "I can't, knowing you're trying to blackmail me," She sighed in an aw darn sort of way.

"Noooo Lucy DO get that in your head, he's clearly indecisive about what he wants!" She protested. Licking was bad, so bite instead. But no, biting was bad, lick instead!

"Exactly. You basically have to ask him for permission if you want me," Glory mused with a chuckle. The cat sees all, the cat knows all, the cat rules all. All hail the cat!

She let out a small, contented sigh, lightly tracing the tattoo on his chest with her good hand. Lately, she'd noticed that sleep seemed less and less horrible, and she guessed it had a whole lot to do with Leo.