I think I get somewhat where you're coming from. The fear of failure is a terrible thing, especially since it usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when you get so frozen by it that you do. I have an autism diagnosis, and for a long time I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up socially. I used similar excuses to the ones you list for why I wasn't doing anything with my life. Then last fall, the beginning of my senior year of high school, I realized all the opportunities I'd missed. I actually had failed myself, and I had a hard time dealing with that. The thing is, you can't have all the moments you missed back, but you can break the cycle and actually use the time you have now.

One thing that helped me was when I happened to read a book called Mindset for a school project. It talks about two basic mindsets that everyone has about things, a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. Those with a fixed mindset think their ability in an area is fixed from birth (inate talent), while those with a growth mindset think you can continue to grow your ability through learning. The interesting thing is that if you have a fixed mindset, you won't be able to deal with failure, because you don't think you can change the fact that you don't have enough ability. So the only thing you can do is hide the trait you think you're inferior in.

However, if you have a growth mindset, you'll believe that you can always get better through learning, even if you're absolutely terrible starting out. So failure isn't the end of the world to someone like that, it just means they need to adjust their learning strategy. One thing that really stuck with me was that the book said something like, "To someone with the growth mindset, the only true failure is passing up an opportunity to learn." It took some time, but adjusting what I considered failure was eventually really helpful.

The other thing that was really helpful mentally was learning to find and appreciate all the common amazingness in life. I don't know where you're at, but for me that means thanking the God I believe made and orchestrates everything. Things like a peaceful drive where your siblings for once don't squabble in the backseat, the sky finally being blue again, and an acrobatic classmate doing a random flip are worth sitting up and taking notice of. Your life could always be better than it is; you could always have done better, but it could always have been worse. There's always something good in your life if you can find it.