Covetta
08:09:54 Vetta/Chrome
Chatspeak like "TYSM" is not allowed
Covetta
08:09:24 Vetta/Chrome
Blood moon, make sure you read the rules, as it's required before even chatting, and I can tell you haven't ;)
ShowJumpingChampions
08:08:28 SJC | Haley
BloodmoonRanch
World-Class
Elite
Premium
Superb
Average
Sub-Par
BloodmoonRanch
08:08:24 
tysm!
Sweetwater Creek
08:08:06 Sweet/Trash Panda
Game guide link also (:
-HEE Click-
Sweetwater Creek
08:07:27 Sweet/Trash Panda
World Class
Elite
Premium
Superb
Average
Sub-Par

Sub is lowest
BloodmoonRanch
08:06:10 
what are the order of tiers? subpar, etc? iÂ’m new
Covetta
08:06:03 Vetta/Chrome
So I'm praying it works
Covetta
08:05:51 Vetta/Chrome
Sucks that he's so much more expensive tho
Covetta
08:03:59 Vetta/Chrome
Okay!
Eyrie of the Stars
08:03:45 Eyrie
Vetta yeah
Covetta
08:02:09 Vetta/Chrome
So try Acheron
Eyrie of the Stars
08:02:06 Eyrie
Sorry, typing slow
Eyrie of the Stars
08:01:32 Eyrie
Being strongest in Int makes me think so, though it's kind of a tossup.
Sweetwater Creek
08:00:36 Sweet/Trash Panda
Super excited *.*

-HEE Click-
Covetta
08:00:13 Vetta/Chrome
Ok, which would you pick aaaa
Eyrie of the Stars
07:59:49 Eyrie
Rave has basically the same training as
Gokyu and looks stronger based on wk 7/10. I'd say either stick with the planned match or try Acheron.
Covetta
07:56:46 Vetta/Chrome
Eyrie, so him over rave?
Covetta
07:56:28 Vetta/Chrome
Luckily I have a mvt glass and hrt
Sweetwater Creek
07:54:34 Sweet/Trash Panda
Best option in my opinion is Gokyu but that's just me :P
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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
  1

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM

Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1194
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM

FirstLightFarms
Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3334
#980598
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Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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