General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

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Leo looked at her with a slight frown. He didn't like the sad look she had plastered on her face. Deciding not to answer her question, he instead flew into cheer up mode. "I can show you how to know how." He stated first, mentally chucking away the fact HE didn't know. He'd just have to figure it out. "You have your own life now, you can eat whenever you want, sleep when you feel like it, and do practically whatever you want. Not like anyone can stop you. You have a good position at a good school, and you have arguably one of the best sidekicks ever tagging along." He grinned slightly. "So right now, life is just going to have to go great." He nodded, as if to sharpen his point. He looked at her with a tiny snort as she said no feeling bad- he ALWAYS felt bad, for something or another, so that wasn't happening. Leo glanced up as she did, observing the darkened world outside. He pondered if he'd ever get to sleep, accepted he probably wouldn't, and mentally prepared his mind to stay up quite a bit longer. All he really wanted NOW was for Glory to be happy. To really, truly enjoy herself for a little bit. Or a lot bit. However weird it sounded, he was rolling with that. He wanted her to enjoy herself a lot bit. She deserved to feel true, genuine happiness ... he just didn't know how to do it. What was there that he could pull off that would help her? As she spoke, he was pulled out of his thoughts, and turned his gaze to her. "Didn't expect me to accept? How many times have you forgotten who you're talking to? If you invite me to a Scare the Hell Out of Each Other and Try to Sleep Afterwards party, ima come!" He snorted, smiling slightly. "However, on that other part, it's not like there's many options to choose from. Pretty much- if you're Itty bitty little short couch is TOO short, then the floor makes due. I'm rather glad it's not covered in sharp objects anymore. Can I trust your cleaning or should I check the couch to make sure I won't get stabbed?" He teased lightly. "On second thought, the floor would probably be more comfortable, anyway. Beats sleeping outside. Or under Thorny bushes. Or in a hole. Or a cave. Rock sucks to sleep on. Especially wet rock." He mused, shaking his head slightly and looking back towards her.

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory gave him a slightly questioning look, but said nothing. She thought about his words, most of which were true, however, the laws of nature still applied; ideally, Glory would never sleep, or at least be fully nocturnal. And she needed to eat, however much of a chore she found sitting down for half an hour just to eat to be. One thing he said made her smile though, and she said, "Not 'one of', you're THE best sidekick." If everything that'd happened in her life thus far had led her to meet him, she wouldn't change a thing. All the broken bones, sleepless nights, being afraid this'd be her last meal, it all was starting to feel like it happened for a reason. "Does that mean we get to do this more often?" She asked, smiling a little. "Hey, don't insult my couch, it's served its purpose," She huffed, trying to act offended. "Uhh..... that couch is basically stuffed with sharp things," She said and stood, walked over to the couch, and ran one hand between the cushions, pulling out a stray knife. She grinned a little sheepishly as she dropped it on her desk and sat back down next to Leo. The couch was practically a death trap. "Sleeping outside is actually great. Same with holes," She said. Outside had always been better than sleeping inside, especially if you slept during the day. Holes were nice too, just gotta make sure there are no bodies in it before sleeping in one, especially if it's in a fenced area with big rocks with words on them. "So, floor it is. Are we robbing blankets from somewhere?" She asked. The BEST place to sleep was undoubtedly a blanket nest on the floor, but it meant getting an excessive amount of them. They'd already stolen cookies, and almost ripped a couple of pillows, what did a bunch of blankets matter, anyway?

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo wondered how he was so bad at cheering people up/being funny while doing it, because even to him that was confusing. Sometimes he wondered if there was a mistake in the creation of his mind. As she spoke, he smiled faintly. "Maybe someday I'll promote to partner, but I guess THE best sidekick works for now." He commented, a bit amused. Of course, he thought he was the best partner ever, too, but she'd have to figure that out on her own. "I would do this every night if you consider this great." He chuckled, then slowly looked at her couch. "It's purpose... as a rack for weapons?" He asked slowly, a wry smile playing on his face. Leo then watched her walk over, wincing as she pulled a dagger out of it without even trying. "That looks painful to have in my back. I'd preferably sleep on the ground if I don't get stabbed in my sleep, thank you very much." He scoffed, sounding fakely offended. The couch was offending him. "Yeesh, I was just giving examples- bad examples, apparently. I wasn't talking about nice comfortable ground, and I understand sleeping outside can sometimes be better, but people usually don't think fluffy cushions on the ground outside." He snorted. (I'm reading the hole thing and just wheezing. WHEEZING. I NEED to use that.) "I can rob blankets." He said cheerily, pushing himself off the ground, gritting his teeth slightly as pain shocked his mind. He then went to disappear, glancing around before entering a room without a person and grabbing a blanket. He then headed back, entering her room. Leo had a whole armful of blankets, and a pillow, which was nice, because he could carry a bunch. He dropped it on the floor, almost burying Glory in the process. "Tadaaa. I'm going to be comfortable tonight." He joked, trying to count the pile of... 4 blankets? 5? He couldn't quite tell.

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Hmm, just partner? Nothing more?" Glory asked, almost a little coyly. "Oh good, a reason to keep my room clean," She said cheerfully, though really that sounded wonderful. Leo was easily her new favorite person, and while Glory wasn't exactly all that social, that was still a very high rank. "If that's what you want to call it, though I prefer 'stash'," She said. She generally kept weapons hidden in every corner of her room, and there were even a few swords and spears under her bed. Excessive? Yes, but Glory would rather call it 'prepared'. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. "Not my fault my couch is booby-trapped," She huffed, feining indignance. It was ENTIRELY her fault the couch had knives in it, though that was something she refused to take responsibility for. It was the hobgoblins, obviously. "Sometimes? Sometimes? Sleeping outside is ALWAYS better!" She said. That was a hill she'd die on- literally. As a kid, outside was generally safer than inside, and while rain put a damper on that, it also muffled footsteps and reduced visibility, so she learned to use that, too, to her advantage. (I was cackling for a solid 3 minutes after typing that xD feel free to use it lol) She waited as Leo stole some blankets from who-knows-where, trying and failing to scowl at his attempt to smother her in blankets. "Oh good, my floor isn't usually comfortable," She said with a chuckle. her floor was more like an attempt to amputate feet without the use of hands. Those probably would've been cut off before someone even got to the middle of the room if they broke in, for whatever reason. That damn need to be prepared strikes again. That, and not wanting to do anything about it. She was good at avoiding the pokey things strewn about the floor, and that was all that mattered, as no one else came in her room all that often. "Okay, so you've got blankets, what about Axl? Is he just gonna hang out, too?" She asked. She didn't mind the dog in the slightest, as he'd been very quiet and well behaved, but he lived off of Leo's life force, and she had a feeling Axl didn't come out to play for very long at a time.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo blinked, processing the information before glancing at her. "Maybe a little bit more. Partner in crime." He teased lightly, though the first part was completely serious. Okay, he was never COMPLETELY serious. His eyes twinkled just slightly as she answered. He was glad of her acceptance that this would happen more than once. "Pray tell, will thine self be sending a letter like thy letter I hath received before every time?" He asked with a thick British accent, a small smile playing on his face. "Stash. Mm. Whatever you say." He chuckled, glancing around at the corners of the room, where he could see metal glinting in random places. He had to make sure to check where he was sitting. Or laying. Or standing. "Is too your fault. You're the only one who put all that there!" He snorted. "I can't blame you, though, because my room probably has just as many hidden weapons." He grinned, thinking of all the random places he had found daggers when cleaning. "Don't bite my head off." He grumbled. "I couldn't sleep outside- most of the time- because my father would punish me for it. Not being where he told be to be? 2 lashes with a whip. He had a frigging board that showed what the wrongdoing was and what the punishment was. I swear, it was taller than I am now." He huffed, his mind flashing back to all the crazy things his father did to make him an obedient little child. He laughed slightly at her obviously failed attempt to scowl. "Well it will be now." He said cheerfully, then glanced at Axl. "You're going to get bored." He spoke to the dog. Axl flicked an ear, then let out a low groan and stood up. <"fine. I'm not doing this because I want to. I'm just nice."> The dog grumbled, then a little round thing came out of its paw. Axl held it to Leo's wrist, and huffed again. "Still alive. Amazing. I couldnt tell" He snorted, poofing out of existence. His doing, not Leo's.

That reminded Leo of the little raptor, who was.. no where to be seen. When he got up, she hadn't come with him, so where was she? After a moment of looking around, a moment of panicking, and a moment of wondering if she had managed to accidentally murder anyone yet, Leo saw a small grayish tail poking out from under the blankets. With a disbelieving scoff, he pulled up the blankets to reveal tiny Mari- still asleep. In the exact same place. "Apparently she sleeps really well." He chuckled, gently picking the raptor up and cradling her in one arm while he spread a blanket out over the floor with another. He then sat down with a slight wince, laying Mörderin in his lap again. She didn't wake up, though let out an adorable grumble, stretched, and curled back up.

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory looked him up and down briefly before saying, "For someone so..... colossal... you don't seem to be all that good at thinking big." She was doing all she could not to laugh, considering she just called him 'colossal'. She stood, waking the sleeping Jaws in the process, who squeaked unhappily, loudly voicing his strong opinions. "Mayhap, thogh I enjoye a good messenger pigeon now and thanne," She said. (This is known as Middle English, btw, between Old English and Modern English) "Yes, because it's MY stash," She retorted, following his glance around her room, her eyes landing on the dagger still wedged in the wall. Leo could definitely pull it out of the wall like King Arthur, though Glory'd decided to let it sit there. It wanted to be in the wall, so it was staying in the wall. "I put them everywhere else, but not the couch! Those... I don't know how they got there," She said. Probably dropped them at some point and forgot about them. Oh well. She looked at him curiously as he spoke - he was serious. At his last words, she snorted and said, "Sounds far more organized than my father- I'm not even sure he knew how to write." Well, he HAD known how to write quite nicely at some point, but had likely forgotten it. There'd been more than a few times that he'd forgotten his own name and wandered around aimlessly. Glory was lucky if he forgot HER name, as it meant he didn't realize that she was his kid, and thus spared from whatever emotional or physical trauma he chose to inflict on her for a few hours. "I swear, my floor has almost never not had sharp things on it," She said with a snort. "Thanks, Axl," She said, and tried not to laugh at his words before he disappeared. A sarcastic, robotic murder dog- what an... odd.. friend. She watched with amusement as he looked for his little raptor creature, whom he'd left next to her. "Like a rock," Glory agreed when he found her. She sat down cross-legged next to him, lifted Jaws from her shoulder, and set him in front of her, trying not to grin at his angry little deer-glare. "Don't look at me like that- all you do is sleep," She told Jaws. Well, sleep and, according to Leo, bite people, which she didn't doubt.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo was about to say something else when she spoke, and the words immediately turned into a choked coughing laugh. "There are people taller than me, Glory, get over it." He teased, but he couldn't even form a good joke. He was too busy chuckling. Obviously, he was teased about his height a lot, but it just sounded all the funnier coming like that from Glory. And it was a double insult, which made it even better. "I'm not that optimistic, I admit it. Can't really hide that fact." He grinned widely, then paused for a couple seconds before finally snorting. "And I have been called many things before, but colossal is NOT a word I've heard to describe me." He finally held back another laugh as he spoke, shaking his head. Leave it to Glory to describe him in a way no one else had. 'Yeah, you seen Bigfoot before? Red hair? Ahh yes- 5 minutes ago? Okay.' He could imagine, if she was the slightest bit more social, that conversation happening. It was hilarious. "I'm relieved. I couldn't understand half the Shakespearian in there." He joked, chuckling lightly again. Much more entertaining to he near her than sitting and thinking about the day. He glanced back at the dagger in the wall, wondering why she hadn't taken it out yet. "I don't believe that, but okay. Glad you think daggers can magically fly to where you sit down." He snorted, his voice sarcastic. "Oh, my father was organized. There was a place for everything, and everything was in its place- including me. Sadly, I was the least valuable thing he owned, apparently, so my place didn't amount to much." He grumbled. "The loss of a loved one can make someone go a bit crazy." He then commented with a slightly more quiet voice, thinking. "After my father died, my mother committed suicide, so I guess I should understand how losing a loved one hurts. And I do have to add, however out of place for the moment this is, that if I lost you, I'd go far more bonkers than ever imaginable to the human mind." He said with a faint smile, meanwhile thinking how much of an understatement that was. Underexaggeration of the millennium. "Yep, that sounds normal." He shook his head, mirroring her snort. "A very dead rock." Leo grinned, looking at Jaws, his grin only growing wider. "I never realized how cute a miniature deer glaring could be." He commented with a healthy dose of amused glee. "You haven't tried to be around someone he didn't like yet. It's a good thing he thought the new Lieutenant was nice." He scoffed. "Try going near a Corrupted. They'll be torn apart before you realize what happened."

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory tried her hardest not to laugh as she said, "Then how come I haven't seen any? You probably ate them all, Goliath!" Now THAT was probably a sentence never before uttered, but hilarious. "Optimism - a fool's replacement for intelligence," She said with a snort, implying that he's not a total buffoon. "Really? What about vast? Immense?" She asked with a laugh. She knew way too many words for... well, everything, really. "Hey, that bald goober didn't make it up, I did! Don't give him credit for my nonsense," She retorted. Who knew, maybe Glory WASN'T human, and was 500 years old and had been whispering in the ears of all the smart guys and telling them how words should work. "Of course they don't fly, it's the damn hobgoblins, I tell you," She huffed. Hobgoblins were her reason for anything being out of place, as they were helpful yet mischievous little household spirits, cleaning and doing chores while also playing pranks on the house's occupants. Considering they were a part of Scottish folklore, if Glory wasn't human, she was probably a hobgoblin, equally as likely as she'd be a kitsune. "Mmm, if you were mine, you'd be my most valuable possession," She mused quietly before fully realizing what she'd said. Damn, her brain needed to work quicker to keep ahead of her mouth. She tilted her head slightly at his words and asked gently, "Is... is that a 'good riddance' sort of thing or..." She trailed off as she really realized what he'd said, and it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, however little she'd admit it. "I don't even want to think of what'd happen if you died," She said. Horrible, terrible, awful thought, one to be shoved down and never thought about ever again. "A fossil," She said with a chuckle. "You did that on purpose," She replied, smiling, laying down fully and stretching out, holding Jaws up above her. She lowered the deer and set him on her chest as he spoke and asked, "Can we try that tomorrow?" That'd be fun, plus it'd give Jaws something to do.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo tried to hold it back, but he couldn't help but laugh now. Although it hurt his ribs, it was worth it. "My stomach isn't THAT big, Einstein. Not how it works. Howwwever, over the course of time, I was able to freeze just the meat, and mmm was that good." He grinned, a sparkle in his golden eyes. He actually had eaten human meat before............... don't ask about that story... and it tasted peculiar. Not very good. He would not want to be an animal that managed to take down a human, got a bunch of wounds, then went to dig in and was like 'aw shit this tastes awful!' "Aww, did you admit I have some intelligence somewhere hidden deep inside?" He joked with a chuckle. "Vas- immen- you of all people should know how much my weight and height helps me in fights! Don't insult the bulk!" He yelped, then huffed. "Sucks that muscle weighs so much. I don't like sinking in water because I'm denser than it." He sniffed haughtily. It was true- most people were less dense than water, equaling floating. A small percentage of those people had enough muscle weight to drag them down a little. A small percentage of people were the same density as water, so they'd float where ever they swam to. And a VERY small percentage of people, like him, had thick, heavy, dense bones, and way too much muscle, hence sinking like a rock. Swimming always got much harder that way. And guess what it caused? Muscle growth! From having to hold up all the weight! Vicious cycle, much? Thankfully, you can only have so many muscles. At this point, he was purposefully being lazy, because he didn't want to look like a dumbass on steroids that went to the gym just to look all buff and weird. (Shush about the timeline there lol.) "Okay okay, I won't give him credit for your nonsense. Glad you're owning up to that mistake." He teased, then rolled his eyes. "I mean, I knew you were loopy, but hobgoblins? Glooory, I think we need your head checked out." He snickered, looking amused. Went from owning up to her mistakes to refusing to admit they were hers. "More valuable than your sharp objects? Wowwww." The first thing that came out of Leo's mouth was his joking train of thought rumbling on, and yes, it did come out before he even understood what she said. "I wouldn't mind that..." the second thing that came out of his mouth was ALSO before he had realized what happened. A millisecond later he pretty much did a double take at what the hell he had just said, not quite sure if the words had even come out of his mouth. He opened his mouth and closed it again before wondering if he could cut the nerves between his brain and mouth. Shut up, thoughts. [That didn't come out wrong at all but it sounded so wrong] he thought with a wince, pushing his mind to move on. "For me, yeah. They hated me, why would I care if they lived or died? My mother was shattered, though, and she apparently didn't want to continue living." He answered, then glanced at her with a small smile as he saw her expression change slightly. Being the expert he was at emotions, kind of, he could tell his words were taken the correct way. "Believe me, I don't WANT to think of it either." He sighed slightly as he said it, indicating that was all but impossible. He was pretty sure he had gone through every terrible thing that could possible happen. "Fossil rock." He agreed, then smiled innocently. "Cute deer may be just what you need to see sometimes." He commented cheerfully. "Yes. We should definitely try that tomorrow. Then we can see which one- Jaws or Mari- can devour a Corrupted first." He grinned with an extent of happiness in the interest of murdering someone with their adorable pets that only Glory would understand. He stared at the wall for a second, knowing if he flopped down, he wouldn't be getting back up anytime soon. He then decided to stay sitting for a couple more minutes.

(my AI thingy will give me the recipe for crack, but it won't tell me what human meat tastes like >>;)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"So you ate the flesh of everyone taller than you?" Glory asked, followed by, "How'd it taste?" That was a rather genuine question, as she was a naturally curious creature. "Yeah, a few ounces hidden in the deepest, darkest recesses of your being," She retorted. It may or may not be outweighed by the recklessness and lack of self-preservation. She laughed and said, "I do know that, but I'd rather not have you prove it, so your bulk can go mostly un-insulted, thankyouverymuch." Unless it was another pillow fight, he wouldn't do diddlysquat to prove 'the bulk' was useful, thankfully. "Everything comes at a cost- yours just happens to be a harder time swimming," She said with a chuckle. "Not a mistake!" She huffed indignantly. Shakespeare could take credit for all he wanted, but it was totally Glory who went back in time and told people how to talk. "Oh wheest, they're real," She grumbled. Real as in....... really creative, or real stories that people tell. The last part of his sentence may be just the slightest bit true, however. "Hmm, maybe equal to them," She teased, then tilted her head slightly and asked slowly, "You... wouldn't mind orrr.. you'd like that?" She kept rather calm on the outside, but internally she was trying to quell her squee-ing mind. There needed to be a mute button on that thing, or a manual override. "Forgive my boldness, but your parents were dumb as shit," She said. She was both glad and not that they were dead- glad for Leo, but she wanted to yell at 'em real good, maybe a couple slaps, too. "Then don't, I'm a - and I quote, 'a stubborn little sonofabitch'," She said with a wry smile. One of the many things her father called her, and one of the milder ones at that. "So long as it's not the last thing you see," She said with a snicker. "Definitely Jaws." He looked like he wanted to do some Corrupted gobbling already, whereas Mari was sleeping. Jaws would totally win.