(I'm sick of trying to figure out when stuff existed lol

Glory's probably fighting a lost battle here. Mostly because Leo is played by me and I have an entire Playlist of hilarious country songs)

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo mirrored her snort, not answering that part. The Corrupted he had killed and eaten HAD been taller than him, which was miraculous. Part of the reason he despised the guy so much. He was supposed to be the tallest- period. "So you're just wrong?" He asked, flashing an innocent smile. "Ah, thank you for more Gaelic insults added to my vocabulary. Or, commands, anyway. I will use this." He nodded sharply, mentally storing the words away. "Three whole minutes? Oh my goodness, I'm in awe." He gasped in a

High pitched voice, a teasing grin on his face. "However, I would just LOVE to see you play the bagpipes." His smile turned a bit evil. "See if it sounds as good as my guitar skills." He then lifted an eyebrow. "Thanks for forgiving me, you're very welcome, and aw shuckleberries." Leo snorted a laugh. "I'll try not to be obnoxiously right. On that note- how?" He suppressed a grin. He was always obnoxious, ESPECIALLY when he was right. "Fine." He sighed heavily. "I won't." He then promised with a flicker of a smile. Now he had to TRY not to die. Great. "Claws ARE as useful as teeth! More so, actually. My girl here can open doors, to name one. Think Jaws can with his tiny little microscopic hooves?" He huffed. As she started singing, a grin played onto his face, only growing wider at the now challenge. He started playing a much more upbeat beat that consisted mainly of tapping the side of the guitar with his fingers. "Mmmm, now that's a fire. Listen son. Knock you in your head with my stick, with my stick. You gon feel da wrath of my stick, of my stick. My stick, my stick, my stick is better than bacooooon. You can't touch my stick, I don't wanna! It's my big boy stick. Thunk your coconut with my stick, with my stick. You gon feel da wrath of my stick, of my stick. My stick, my stick, my stick is better than bacoooon. My stick is my friend, born from a log. Anyone can see he's better than bacon. Whyd you get so crotchety and mean? Whyd you drink that creatures milk its green! My stick and me take walks every day. Past the hooligans down by the ocean. When they laugh at my stick then they learn. How my stick is much denser than bacon! Bought a little piggy and I let that little piggy run amok! So cute. But when I would sleep little piggy kept waking me up. Sold hiiim. People often fight about which birds are the very best birds. Do they? But everyone can agree the seagul is the worst!" As Leo finished he grinned widely. He hadn't sang the whole song, as it was longer, but he sang the funniest parts.

(I just ask my AI assistant lol

Definitely xD Doesn't mean she won't try though x3)

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory looked at him questioningly as he said nothing regarding eating tall people, and had to assume the Corrupted he ate was either 4 feet tall or taller than Leo. Probably the latter. "Am not," She huffed. Glory was NEVER wrong, everyone else was just misinformed. "If you can remember all of them, there's also tha thu air falbh às do chiall- You're out of your mind," She said, pronouncing it as 'hah hoo air fahl-uhv ahs doh kyal'. Not particularly easy, but Leo'd already proven to be a rather quick learner, though she had a feeling that might be a phrase directed at her sometime in the future. An amused grin crept onto her face at his high-pitched voice, and she asked, "Are you just teasing, or is that a challenge?" Her bagpipes were in a trunk under her bed, along with a few other smaller objects that had belonged to her mother, all of which likely had the same amount of dust on it as a 200-year-old tomb. "How about you're half forgiven and don't ever say - or think - I look old again?" Glory offered with a grin. "Just don't be an asshat," She said. On the occasion that he was right - or Glory was wrong - all he had to do was NOT rub it in, lest he get whacked. "Thank you," She said, kissing his cheek. At least she could try not to worry so much, knowing he would put some effort into not dying. "His hooves are NOT microscopic," She huffed, trying not to smile at Jaws as he glared at Leo. Jaws certainly agreed with her. She tried to keep a straight face at his utterly random song and failed, though did manage not to laugh, at least. "Rockin', rockin' and rollin', down to the beach I'm strollin'. But the seagulls poke at my fun, not fun! I said, seagulls, mmm, stop it now. Everyone told me, not to stroll on that beach, said seagulls gonna come, poke me in the coconut, and they did, mm, and they did. Had me goin' like Ha ah ah ah ah ah ah ha Ha ah ah ah ah ah ah ha Ha ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ha. Nothin’ I could do but yell, when these birds attacked me. When I tried to run, I fell, and then these kids start laughin’. And then, hmm Got hit in the neck with a hacky sack Hm-mm-mm-hm-mm-mm-mm Where’d it come from? Hmm," She left off there, as it was rather long, and she was now actually considering grabbing her bagpipes.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo looked interested as Glory continued to explain more Gaelic words. He had learned German for fun, but this Scottish Gaelic could actually help him. ESPECIALLY if Glory kept talking in it. He needed to take a class or something. Then again, a class would NEVER explain all the colorful insults she decided to spit out. "Tha thu air falbh às do chiall- you ARE out of your mind." He grinned, pronouncing it really well. He was quite adept at copying people's accents and the way they said things. "No, that was a challenge. One hundred percent." He scoffed, amazed she didn't just immediately take it that way. And disappointed. OF COURSE it was a challenge! What else was he here for? Apart from amazing singing, great guitar skills, studenpendous jokes, and some damn good looks, he was rather useless to most people- challenges were one of his specialties, however. "I barely even thought it, and I immediately knew it was wrong." He defended himself with a huff. "However, deal. I will never think that again." He smirked, then let out a snort. "You think to yourself if that's possible or not." He stated, honestly wondering how much of an ass he actually WAS to her. Not that he could offend her, but apparently some things he thought were offensive. He managed not to lose his mind again, although he was still a little flabbergasted from the last kiss, even though this was less.. pressure. He really shouldn't think about it like that. "De nada." He managed to mumble out a couple words, but immediately snapped into reality as she spoke again. "Are too! They look like buttons from way up here!" Leo grinned widely, looking at Jaws with a smug face. "It's true. No murdering for truth." He instructed, then his eyebrows shot up as she started another song. Ahhh... she had started a fight she could not win. "Bake me a country ham... honey glazed with a side of yaaaams. Leave it in till its golden browwwn, pineapples all the way aroooound.... let the sweet smell fill the air. Serve it to me in my underweaaaar, I'm tired of eating imitation spam.. could you bake me a country haaaaam." He yodeled in a crazily out of key voice for his usual awesome tone, trying not to grin the WHOLE time so he could squeeze the words out.

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory grinned proudly at his pronunciation of her Gaelic words - he was a quick learner. "Well done," She said, "Though maybe I shouldn't've taught you that one, now that's all I'm gonna hear from you." And rightly so, considering Glory was far from most people's idea of 'normal'. "Hmm, mayyyyybe," She mused. She wasn't all that excited to show off just how long it'd been since she last played, but the challenge was enticing. "Well, as long as you realize your mistake," She said. That was something Glory did, though ADMITTING it was not. Big ol' difference there. "I think not," She teased, suppressing a grin. He excelled at asshattery, though it wasn't his best skill. "That's because you have all the damn clouds in your face," She huffed. Ahh yes, a relatable problem- being so tall the air was thin and you couldn't see the ground on cloudy days. She tried not to laugh at his combination of wacky words and horribly off-key voice, but a snort escaped. This was a losing battle, unfortunately. "Alright, fine," She said as she stood, setting Jaws down next to Leo, then walking over to her bed and kneeling, sliding out a rather heavy oak chest, with somewhat intricate carvings all over it. Unlatching it, she pulled out her bagpipes, which had been disassembled. Phooey. At least she remembered how to put them back together, and she attached the blowpipe, followed by the drones, then the chanter, then checked the reeds. Everything was in good condition, miraculously. Glancing down at the box, she saw an envelope, one she'd seen many times and memorized the contents of. Still, she pulled it out anyway, carefully removing the single sheet of paper, on which a poem was written, in Glory's mother's perfect handwriting:

(Not me over here searching up how to assemble a bagpipe

For some reason, when I was busy at the thing that kept me from answering this forum in forever, I got into a conversation about straws and eyeballs with one of my friends... and the question happened to come up: can you stab an eyeball out with a straw... and I happened to know that the answer was yes. Thanks to this rp. Instead of the normal person reaction of maybe some shock and concern, my friend immediately said "thank you for the information" and walked away with plastic straw in hand.

I am so sorry i haven't replied lol. It's been a rough week. It'll be better until this Saturday, when I'll be leaving again

At the horse show, there was this 20 something guy who sauntered around like he owned the place, had this big black street queen of a truck that must've been at least 60k, and obviously didn't give a damn about anyone else. He was lazy as hell, just to make it worse. He was the guy that had to empty the manure wagon at the end of the horse show. I had four stalls to clean, and the trailer was full almost before I started. Everyone else had already left cause I had a lot of things to pack up. This guy walks up and says "it'll take me about 20 minutes to empty this, that okay?" I look at him quizzically with a bit of irritation, then answer "I guess it'll have to be." He knew full well I still had a lot of stalls to clean. I then ask "can we dump the shavings on the ground outside?" I've done this every single other year at this horse show and it has been perfectly fine. He answers "no, because that'll make more work for me" He then drives away, and a flipping hour later he comes back. As he was walking away again, I'm not kidding, I just hiss under my breath "shitweasel" and he looks at me with the most confused and offended eyes ever, then leaves. I never felt better. )

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Or, Normal Speak for: THAT WAS SO AMAZING WOW I DID NOT EVEN PICK IT UP THAT FAST!" Leo exclaimed with an extra gasp for dramatic flair. He had no lack of that. "Well of course, because all I say is the truth, and that is the most truthful thing I've heard in years." He nodded vigorously, agreeing with himself. "So I am going to say it ALL the time. As many times as I can fit it into a conversation, I will." He smiled sweetly, though there was an evil twinkle in his eye. "Pffffft, why would you ever only say maybe to a dare? You scared? Bet your playing can't be THAT bad." He teased, though honestly, if she could even squeeze a note out of that thing, he'd be impressed. He had tried playing the bagpipes, and it sounded like a chicken... on drugs... choking... and eventually dying. They seemed impossible to do anything with. "Oh, I do. The guilt is wafting through my veins. How dare I even let that thought drift into my subconsciousness. Oh, the unfairness." He moaned woefully, wondering if he should go on longer or if that was good enough. "How I dread ever even thinking about thinking about thinking of making that mistake again." He added with a heavy sigh. How terrible of him. How absolutely horrifying that he would even allow that thought to pass through his mind. As a joke. He let out a snort at her answer, just shaking his head. He deserved that. He was good at being annoying, to say the least. If only there was a professional job for that- he'd be rich. "The clouds are the least of my problems." He scoffed. No wonder he tripped so much. The ground wasn't even visible. He smirked as she laughed at his song, which was admittedly hilarious and hard to sing, trying to figure out how she could beat that. She probably couldn't. As she walked over to her bed, he watched in interest, though did NOT move from his blanket. As silence reigned for about half a second, Mori opened her eyes and squeaked at him, looking cutely irritated. "No. No more singing." He huffed, paying much more attention to the clanky loud instrument than he would admit to. It seemed so complicated, and yet Glory just.. poofed it together. As she pulled out an envelope, he tilted his head slightly, wondering what it was. He couldn't see it from here, which was good, and he wasn't going to invade her privacy. However, even with his 'shield' up so he didn't sense others emotions, he could still feel a crashing wave of sadness wash over Glory, almost overwhelming his own senses. After a second of regaining his mind, as he was quickly getting sucked into her emotions, he took another second to block out as much as he could, then address the situation. He frowned slightly as she obviously just shoved everything down, and then started playing the bagpipes anyway. He MIGHT get murdered for this, but he wasn't going to let her wallow in hidden sorrow. "No, not happy. I mean, that was amazing, and I sure as hell couldn't do it, but what was that letter? I know it's none of my business, but I care about how you feel, and that wave of sadness was not a good feeling." He stood up as he spoke, setting Mori back down on the blankets, and went to sit down next to Glory, though still about a foot away... from instinct, he guessed. A concerned expression plastered itself on his face. "Angry Glory is terrifying but okay, and normal Glory is fine as well, but I don't like this sad feeling, nor do I like the way you just shoved it down inside. You do realize all that has to come out someday, right?" He asked with a quiet huff of worry, his eyes searching hers for answers he knew he wouldn't find unless she told him.

(I had to look it up too, don't worry x'D

Ay, when you need info, it's good to already have it. And a straw xD

Sounds like a real shitweasel, now ain't you glad you knew that one? lmao. But seriously, no worries! I get that you're busy, just sucks that you had to deal with such a lazy shitweasel lol)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"The first half was close to true," Glory said, "But c'mon, you really think you could learn it faster than me?" Fat chance, as she was like a sponge when it came to pretty much any little tidbit of knowledge. "It's so not true," She huffed. "If you do that, I'm going to slap you as many times as I can in one conversation." Likely not, even if he deserved it. Which, he really didn't, as it was Glory's fault he now knew that phrase. "Am not scared," She huffed. She'd already made up her mind, but he needn't know that. She rolled her eyes at his 'woe is me' act and said, "Cuir socias ann." Cuir(Pronounced koor) meaning 'put', socais(Soh-kash) meaning sock, and ann(oun) meaning in it, so basically 'Put a sock in it." Wonderful phrase. "You're right, I am, being such a little ankle-biter," She retorted. Only Leo was brave enough to call the very-not-short Glory short. Disrespectful, utterly disgraceful. Though, to him at least, she was short, but then again, everyone was. Or, everything, doorways included. She glanced up as he spoke to Mori, and remembered a little too late that despite her attempts to not feel anything, he still knew, to some degree. "It's... not important," She said as he sat down. She thought for a moment at his words and said, "It- it's from my mother." She stood, grabbed the letter from its box, and sat back down next to him, handing the paper to him wordlessly.

(Very good to have it. I was glad I could answer their question lol

I am extremely glad I knew it xD. The look on his face was priceless, to say the least)

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Hey, half is better than none." Leo answered with a pleased expression, then chuckled. "No, no I don't really think that. I'm sure with your above average skills and super powered mind, you learned way faster than my simple brain ever would." He rolled his eyes. Of course, he would neeeever insult her in the least. She was so much smarter than him. Bah humbug. "Is too, and I bet you wouldn't. I would never put it past you to whack me, but not that much, and not without probable cause. You like me too much." He grinned, looking a bit pleased with himself. "Never said you were. Just asked." He smirked, his tone insinuating another teasing bit, and tilted his head at her Gaelic words. More of them. Yay. His brain was getting overloaded. "Mind telling me what that means? Then not saying anything else in Scottish so that I can learn those couple terms. You can have 2 more phrases tomorrow. I'll learn them slowly." He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "Ay, I never said you were short! This sentence, anyway!" He huffed, snorting. "I merely said clouds aren't the least of my problems." Leo sniffed. As she tried to say it wasn't important, he cast a disapproving glance at her. Obviously not true. "I know you think I'm dumb, but do you REALLY think I'm THAT dumb?" He asked with a slight frown. He, of all people, knew that was a lie. When she did admit what it was, he quieted even more, glancing over at her. He silently wondered if she even wanted him to look at it, then took the letter, pausing, almost hesitating before opening it. His eyes flitted back and forth across the page before landing on the last word as he contemplated what he had just read. He stayed silent for a couple seconds before looking at her again. "I'm sorry... and I'm sorry for asking... it's a beautiful poem, though. She could really write." He said quietly, glancing at his hands. He sucked at this. Why couldn't he be better at sympathy? "She must've really loved you." Leo finally commented in a soft voice. His mother hadn't, so he was glad Glory's had loved her. She deserved it.

(I'll be watching the news to make sure there's no 'Citizen gets eyes stabbed out by rogue suspect wielding a straw' xD

Mannn, wish I was there to see it lmao)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"You just keep telling yourself that," Glory teased. She thought the phrases 'If you're not first, you're last' and 'second place is first place for losers' were better to live by, but to each their own. She knew it wasn't exactly healthy to be a perfectionist, but she couldn't help it. She thought for a moment at his words before saying, "Wellll... it's more like 'insatiable need for knowledge and disdain for sleep'." Glory not only enjoyed knowing random trivial things, but didn't exactly enjoy sleep. She was practically at war with Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep. In an ideal world, she'd never eat or sleep, and she admittedly tried to force that into reality, whether intentionally or otherwise. "You need to stop being right," She grumbled at his next words. Yes, she liked him too much to do a whole lot of whacking, fortunately for him but unfortunately for Glory, particularly when he was at his peak asshattery. She grinned at his question and answered, "Cuir - put, Socais - sock, ann - in it. Put a sock in it. Though I can't promise not to accidentally drop a few phrases every now and then." Perfection in a phrase, and it wasn't vulgar or an insult, yay. She may or may not have taught a few 6-year-olds way back when the phrase, and let them go around telling people to cuir socais ann. Fun times. "Yeah, this sentence," She huffed. That didn't mean he HADN'T, and while he may forget, Glory wouldn't, and would likely remind him of it until they were old and decrepit, and she'd say, to an ancient, hunchbacked Leo, "Still think I'm short?" Or they'd both die before ever getting anywhere close to old, one or the other. "No," She said with a sigh. She reread the letter as he did, then looked up at him as he spoke. "No, don't apologize," She said softly. Frankly, she needed someone to tell her that yes, things DO matter in life, regardless of whether or not we all die someday, and shit hurts, and that's okay. "I... yeah, she did. It's just... what if she was still alive? What would she think of me?" She asked quitely, then looked down at her hands and sighed. "I'm not a good person," She all but whispered. By most people's standards, she wasn't, and hell, even by Glory's standards, she wasn't exactly a great role model.

(I'll be watching as well. Knowing my friend, someone will touch the back of his neck and get stabbed [inside joke] xD)

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Oh, I will." Leo answered cheerfully, completely ignoring the intended meaning. "Need for knowledge and disdain for sleep. Not a good mix. Let me just say... sleep is dark, and it is a place to get away from the haunting reality of life. A time where you can scare Corrupted all you want and the scenes always go the way you want. A time where there can just be darkness. A time when the trials and hardships of living seem to never catch up on you." He explained, pretty much just musing at the end. That's how he felt, at least. He loved sleep. Unless the nightmares came, which had been happening more and more frequently, but that didn't matter right now. If he could choose, he'd grow old with someone he cared about and die in his sleep. A peaceful death. One that no one would write about. No cool lines to scrawl on his gravestone. Just the release of the hardships of life. However, he knew he'd most likely never make it past 30, and that's why he wanted an awesome death. No one knew how much he truly believed 'live every day like it's your last' because for him... it always could be. "No, no I don't. Being right is awesome. Like me." He grinned, getting rid of the thoughts swamping his mind. As she answered his questions, his expression just conveyed how much he was loving learning all these Gaelic phrases. Now he could not only insult people in German, but in Scottish Gaelic as well. How exciting. "Mhm. This sentence." Leo agreed with a very innocent smile, though, like her, he could never look completely innocent. Because he wasn't.

As she instructed him not to apologize, he had the very strong urge to apologize about apologizing, and that's when he knew he got far too sappy and soft around Glory. He winced slightly and focused on her words, his eyes saddening. By the time she had ended, he wasn't even thinking about what to say- it just came rushing out. "Glory, you ARE a good person. To me, at least, even though I'm not a good standard to go off of. You are strong and smart and perfect in your own way. That's how I see you. If your mother was alive, I'm sure she'd be incredible proud of the person you've become. You are resiliant and humorous, and you still live a good life, even though all life gave you was bad. You could not be more perfect. There is nothing you could do to be better. Your mother would know that if she were here. She would love you the way you are. And I do too." He stated softly yet firmly, though his voice melted the tiniest bit by the end, mostly because he realized what he was saying. Even as part of his brain tried to freak out, he felt a calming sense- he didn't regret anything he said. It was all true, that's how he thought, and it didn't matter what she thought of it. He was going to speak his mind, no matter what. "she would be VERY proud." He reiterated, his hand moving without his permission as he brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

(Wha- has that happened before? O.o xD)

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory thought for a moment at his words and said, "Always go the way you want? Guess my mind didn't get the message." Unfortunately, what her mind came up with when it wasn't restricted by her consciousness was beyond the comprehension of most people, those who hadn't witnessed - or caused - death first-hand. It was enough to keep the vast majority of people awake for days on end, while poor Glory was used to it juuuust enough to where it didn't wake her up when she'd like. Then she'd almost - almost - prefer death to whatever demented reality she was trapped in, yet she'd proven to be quite stubborn and hard to get rid of. Besides, given her less-than-ideal records, she sure as hell wasn't making it to the pearly gates when she died - no pun intended. "Awesome, huh?" She asked skeptically, though one could describe him as awesome. She only shook her head slightly at his next words; he'd totally say something about her ABOVE-AVERAGE height again sometime.

She thought about his words for a few seconds, the part of her mind capable of happiness just about dying from an overload of joy after being starved for so long, and the dark corners whispering 'You don't deserve him. He doesn't love you, only the version of yourself you put on for others. He can do better. Lovely, just something else to slam a mental door on and forget about. The worst part was it was maybe just the tiniest bit right - Glory wore a mask of herself around people, one that tended to be mean and rather... prickly. Under it, she was weak and vulnerable, in her eyes at least. If you were to ask anyone BUT Glory, they'd probably say that she was a normal person whose childhood had been stripped from them, leaving something damaged but salvageable. She'd managed to let down most of the mask around Leo, but some part of it stayed, and it'd been so long that she wasn't sure she knew how to let it go. But, she could - and would - try her absolute hardest. "I love you, too," She murmured. It was a good start to letting out the gentle Glory, long thought to be dead. That also meant acknowledging her own wants and needs, a list previously pretty much empty, but now consisted of almost exclusively Leo. She let out a chuckle as she remembered something about her mother. "One of her favorite phrases was 'When life gives ye lemons, squeeze 'em in life's eyes'." That was probably why Glory refused to die when she probably should've, why she was so darn stubborn. She smiled faintly, partly from his actions, partly from the thought his words brought about. "She'd totally have been proud of Frogmageddon," She mused. If Glory was like a kitsune, her mother was even more so, always wearing a sly grin with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. As a child, that woman practically tormented her poor mother - Glory's grandmother - with endless pranks and mischief. It was 100% where Glory got it from, despite not having much time to learn from a seasoned veteran of chaos.