Lieutenant Dwyer

"Oh yes, because I expect so much of you," Glory said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Aww. While I appreciate the sentiment, if I ever need your expectations to dip that low, what I really need is to be slapped and yelled at to do better. Don't enable me or I will take advantage of that," She said, half serious. Much like a horse, 'you give 'em an inch, they'll take a mile', so the best thing was just to maintain somewhat high standards and fall just shy of them than keep lowering them.

Glory couldn't help the sly grin creeping onto her face as she said, "Right, my bad, I forgot you didn't know CPR. On the bright side, if electrocution doesn't work, you get lightly toasted meat at the end!" The last bit held a little bit too much enthusiasm, which didn't help in making Glory at least appear somewhat sane.

She let out a half-childish, half-mad giggle at his reaction, she'd been pretty much right. "Sorry," She said in a sheepish way that said she really wasn't but grinned even wider as he changed the subject as she'd guessed he would.

"By the second? Oh no, I'm doing too well, that's more than the bare minimum," Glory said, sounding somewhat dejected, though she was struggling to keep from grinning at his next words. That, she realized, was what she'd really wanted, especially as a kid. To hear that someone was proud of her. And to hear it from him? It was worth more than everything she'd ever been told before, all the inspirational quotes and "well done"s.

"C'mon, at least make it make sense though," Glory countered, though it did make enough sense, though in the sense that it made more sense than, say, a monkey versus a contortionist. My, that's a lot, or not a lot, of sense. "Eh, good enough name," She said, even though she couldn't come up with anything better and it was actually pretty good.

"Ohh, why not?" She asked innocently.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

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"Oh shush, you're ruining the meaning." Leo rolled his eyes back, though much more dramatically, then snorted. "Although I can dip my expectations that low, I much prefer to see you struggle." He teased. "And I will not hold back on a good walloping. Just to reassure you, I will even take great pleasure in it." He smiled widely, also half serious. He would enjoy kicking her butt yet again. For, like, the fourth time.

"You're insufferable." He huffed, a grin creeping onto his face at her words. "I wouldn't waste my energy." He scoffed, his grin growing wider at her enthusiastic tone. Yeah, considering he absolutely loved her idea about what to do after her death, he was also totally on board with this. "Just remember, don't eat it yourself. As I've said before, human meat tastes HORRIBLE." He added, as if a safety precaution to not eat human meat was needed in the moment.

As she giggled at his reaction, he scowled playfully. "You should be sorry. I still haven't decided between soap, bleach, and cyanide to wash out my poor, traumatized brain." He sniffed indignantly. Yes he could swear vulgar enough to make a Sailor blush while torturing someone in the most horrible ways known to mankind, but he could NOT deal with the idea of- blech. He just couldn't. Yes he had eaten human flesh before, and no he could not Fathom the idea of being like Sophia Matthews. Don't judge.

"Don't you dare NOT do too well." He huffed, casting a glare at her. "Continue at the pace you're at." He commanded, not about to allow her to stop now, when she was on a roll. For the better.

Leo wrinkled his nose in offense. "It makes perfect sense." He answered with a sigh of sorrow. "You, of all people, should see that." He mumbled dramatically.

His demeanor again changed rather instantly as she spoke. "Why not- oh look at the TIME." Leo exclaimed in a tone heavy with sarcasm. Best subject change EVER. Honestly, though, he had to re-look at the clock on the wall. It read that it was past lunch. "I missed LUNCH!?" He squeaked unhappily. "I need food. Otherwise I die." Leo groaned, not wanting to get up, or thinking he could, but absolutely NEEDING food.

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Am not," Glory huffed, though she knew damn well she was.

"Aw gee thanks. Y'know, I like seeing me struggle too, that's about the only reason I do much of anything," She retorted with a snort. "Perfect, thank you. Though I have a feeling that if it actually came down to it, you'd at least have a hard time raising a hand against me." Actually, it was probably wishful thinking, though even if she was right it wouldn't be hard to find someone who would wallop her.

"Damn right I am," Glory said, grinning. "Actually, I've heard it tastes like pork. Heavily considering trying it." That was true, also that tattoos made the meat taste awful, so in theory, full-body tattoos were the way to go if one was paranoid about cannibals.

"How about I pick for you then and say all of the above?" Glory offered. "Or maybe just get a new one, I know a guy." Well, it was more like she WAS that guy, and would just kill someone and steal their brain. Or, who knows, maybe play Dr. Frankenstein and steal a dead body's brain. Gotta be quick with that one though, the brain decomposes pretty quick.

"Mm, y'know, the more someone tells me to do something, the more I really don't want to," Glory said, mostly being honest and partly just being difficult. But that was just how she was, and ya just had to either put up with it or go find someone else to pester.

"Still don't see it," She said, "but I won't argue." For once. There were far more important arguments to be wasting brain power on.

"No no no mister, you do NOT get to change the subject like that," Glory huffed. "Now you ain't leaving until you answer the damned question." With what he'd just said, she was basically threatening to kill him by means of starvation - or rather, missing a single lunch - but that was what happened when you changed the subject like that. Especially with one "Oh, look at the time!"

He was spared however, when something thunked into the window. Glory turned her head slightly, regarding the window as a crow might a shiny object, assuming it to just be a regular, if not stupid, bird. Then it bonked again, and Glory stood, mumbling to Leo, "Hold that thought." Opening the window, in flew what looked to be a bird at first, if it weren't for the little windup mechanism on its back and the fact it was solid metal.

The bird made a choppy crash landing on Glory's bed, and she immediately knew what it meant.

"Change of plans, I've got places to be, so I guess I can't hold you hostage here," She said, picking up the now-motionless bird - it had quite a bit of weight to it - and turning to Leo. "You coming with me?"

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Are too." Leo countered, then smiled. "I'm glad we're on the same page." He said sweetly, then paused, opened his mouth to speak, paused again, and scowled. "I wouldn't hesitate to whack you with a pillow." He changed his attack, since obviously the other one wouldn't work. He would never dream of actually hitting her. He had playfully smacked her, and won battles against her, but he would, never, EVER actually hit her.

"It tastes like really tough, lean pork without any of the good taste pork has." He corrected, making a face. "So I suggest you just take my word and don't try it. Especially if the person had tattoos. That makes it taste SO much worse." He didn't add if he was talking from experience or not, but his tone kind of explained it. And she should be able to guess.

"Get a new one? Never! I love my lack of a brain! No other empty skull could come up with such amazing comebacks." He faked offense, placing a hand on his heart. "I cannot Fathom why you would suggest that. However, I will take pleasure in melting the brain cells I had by pouring cyanide in my ears." He grinned. That part was a joke. There were much more delicious ways to do that, cough cough beer.

"Okay... what if I beg?" He offered, flashing his charming smile that he knew and she knew that she couldn't resist. "Try for me?" Quite the bribe it was, and quite the way to get her to listen, but obviously the best way.

He snorted as she said he couldn't change the subject like that. "But I just did." He countered with a huff of his own, a much more dramatic one. "You can't do that." Leo then gasped even more dramatically. "I refuse to answer the question." He sniffed, then his gaze snapped sideways and he flinched slightly as there was a loud ass thunk on the window. "I won't, but okay." He mumbled at her words, watching her go up and retrieve... a mechanical bird, as far as he could tell. "What the hell is that?" He inquired, then lifted his eyebrows. "Of course I'm coming. Is now a good time to shrink?" He asked with a snort, pushing himself up off the floor. It was WAY more painful than expected- yes he had been stabbed and Shot and almost died and WHATEVER, but that was, like, yesterday. He should be FINE. Instead, he found himself letting out a colorful muttered string of curse words as every muscle, ligament, bone, and tendon in his body protested, including the ones that weren't in his body. Everything protested. Angrily. And it frigging hurt. "That felt nice." He hissed after he was upright, leaning against the wall while his mind got over its dizziness.

(Not done yet, but here's the start of Princess Leo xD Clicky

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Mhm," Was all Glory replied, rolling her eyes.

"Aha, I knew it," She said, grinning, "though could you whack me hard enough to knock some sense into me or do I gotta find someone else for that?" Really, the question wasn't 'could you', it was 'would you', and she was almost certain she knew the answer to that one.

"Yeah no, like I said, the more you tell me not to, the more I will," She said. "It literally cannot be any worse than the food I've cooked." Or rather, failed to cook. Glory was more of a destroyer, not a creator, especially with food. Milkshakes, sandwiches, and passably cooked meat were about the extent of her culinary skill. She'd only ever cooked out of necessity, not to make things taste good.

"I would say mine can, but my skull ain't empty. Pretty sure a rat's taken up residence up there and now pays rent in peanuts," Glory said with a snort. "You go right ahead and use cyanide, the rat in my head does a pretty good job of keeping the brain cells to a minimum." It was a strange thing to imagine, a rat just rustling around in her skull gnawing holes through her brain.

Glory made a face at his offer, the only reason she didn't immediately agree was that she could hardly stand begging. Her idea of it was 'I already told you no, so shut the fuck up and die in a hole for all I care'. Now, that wasn't the reaction Leo'd get, just the entire rest of the human population. "But fine. I'll try for you," She relented after a moment.

"Nuh-uh," Was her argument, and it was quite the great one.

"I can and I did," She said resolutely. "My room, my rules. Deal with it. And on that note, you're not allowed to refuse." Now, were some rules made up on the spot? Perhaps. But they still technically existed.

Glory held up the wind-up bird in one hand and said, "It's a messenger, basically. Except you just gotta already know the message. More of a timer, really."

She smiled at him as he agreed to come, as she knew he would, and said, "Not yet, I think you'll like where we're going. Buuuuut it's a surprise, unless you agree to answer the question." That seemed like a pretty fair bargain, though he may just opt for a surprise, which was okay too.

"That looked nice," Glory teased lightly, moving to stand next to him. "You sure you wanna go? It's not exactly in our backyard..." The destination wasn't terribly far, but still, it'd be hard on him.

(OH MA GAWD IT TIS PERFECT ALREADY!!! I frigging swear, he TOTALLY has the PERFECT expression on. Its like smirking while daring you to challenge his outfit choice. Love it. And the BIRD IS SO PERFECT ARGH.

Also, you got very close to killing me and ending the rp entirely with thst single picture. I laughed so hard I very nearly visited the unconscious realm. )

+++

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo huffed quietly, looking indignant. "I could whack you hard enough! With a pillow." He said defensively, then snorted. "Ain't no one get to whack you but me." He stated with a wave of his hand. "I'll figure out a way of knocking sense into you without breaking your bones." He mused, determined to find a way. Where there's a will, there's a way. He hoped. "It is most likely worse than food you cook, but I can't technically say because you haven't cooked me anything yet. Rude." He chuckled slightly, feigning offense the best he could while amusement plastered itself on his face. "That reminds me, I am totally cooking you breakfast tomorrow, if I can haul my lazy ass out of bed. Just because you need to see how I can cook amazingly as well." He said cheerfully. Honestly, he wasn't kidding about that one. Leo had always been a natural at cooking. He kind of hated doing it, since he had to clean up after himself, but he liked the food enough that he did it regularly.

"Pays rent in peanuts, eh?" Somehow, that wasn't the most absurd thing he'd heard all day. "I prefer alcohol over cyanide. It at least tastes good." He replied, then paused. "Have you named the rat yet?" He asked with as serious of a face as he could muster.

"I appreciate that." He smirked, pleased as she relented.

"I am too allowed to refuse." Leo complained, then glanced at the bird. "Sounds helpful." He said a little sarcastically, then scowled at her words. "I'm not answering the question." He grumbled. He did not give up that easily.

As she Teased him and walked over, he snorted. "I'm glad it looked as nice as it felt." He responded, then let out a low scoff. "Pfft, when have I ever cared about my well being before? To the moon and back, lead the way." Leo answered. It was true- he never gave a rats ass about hurting himself more, and usually ignored the pain as it was.

(hahaha the bird is easily my favorite part, he's just a dopey lil guy, doesn't know much of anything xD clicky

NNOOOooo don't die, otherwise you don't get to see it when its done xD)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Mm, if you're using a pillow I guarantee it ain't gonna be enough," Glory said with a snort, then paused. "Y'know, I actually rather like that arrangement," She said, "but... double sandards. Nobody gets to whack you except for me." And if anyone tried? They'd get the thumping of a lifetime, but too bad they wouldn't live through it. Pity.

"Yeah, and I think it's best it stay that way. For your sake. I don't wanna poison you by accident," Glory said, with the implication that she might poison him intnetionally. Well, that was fairly likely to happen if she were to cook for him. "Oh are you now?" Glory asked, grinning, "More like if I can haul your lazy ass outta bed." She probably could, so long as it was okay-ish if he got bonked a bit in the process. Completely unharmed? Nuh-uh, ain't gonna happen. Far too difficult.

"Yep, and then I feed them to people I don't like with peanut allergies," Glory said, entirely 100% joking. She was, well, morally gray at best, but geez, she wasn't THAT evil. "Amen to that. The rat agrees too, I think," She said. Technically, since the rat was a replacement brain, it agreed with everything she said or thought. "Of course I did!" Glory said, acting insulted at the though that she wouldn't. "His name's Marquavious." Such a regal name for a rat that existed only in Glory's mind, but it was a damn good one, and if anyone tries to argue, they're getting quite the whacking.

"Yeah yeah, good for you," She huffed quietly. "No you aren't! Now quit your complainign and deal with it, and ANSWER THE DAMNED QUESTION," Glory all but barked at him, scowling playfully.

"Well yeah it is," Glory said. "More helpful than most people, at least." The bird was always on time and sat on a shelf the rest of the time, requiring little mainanence, unlike the majority of people. Lazy, useless, and took too much effort to keep alive and functioning.

"Yes you are. I'll make a deal with you; if you answer that one little question, Ill give you something of your choosing in return," Glory offered. Honestly a pretty good bargain, though he'd still probably refuse.

"Yeah, looked like an interpretive dance version of the Nutcracker," She said with a snort. "Well, never, but I do!" She countered. "But fine. Wanna eat first or go straight there?" Actually, there'd more than likely be food where they were going, so they could probably just go straight there.

(I frigging love the tiny lil eyes. It's so perfect for Leo XD.

I'll TRY my BEST but it is FUNNY lol)

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