I agree xD))

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo paused. She had kind of gotten him there. "... a memory foam pillow. That's been in a cold room for hours." He grumbled defensively. For some reason, somehow, cold memory foam was as hard as a damn brick.

"You're not dead yet, and you've most likely eaten your own cooking before." He countered, chuckling quietly. (That is the best explanation of am overly cooked animal that I have ever heard, and I am USING that next time anyone over cooks my steak xD)

He lifted his eyebrows as she challenged him with a grin. "Oh REALLY? You think you can get my ass out of bed without hurting me significantly? I'd like to see you try." He scoffed, outright daring her to do it. "I don't believe you can." He taunted, knowing he was only egging her on. Now he was guaranteed pain tomorrow.

"Evil, yes, little, very." He teased, smirking. "Ehhh fine, my sympathy is revoked." He answered with a huff, then arched an eyebrow. "Huh. Creative, per usual." He snorted. Any name she came up with would usually be amazing, until she was not trying. 'Book of shit' sucked. A little more than 'Codex of Crap', though. At least that sounded a little more flattering. The GGtGG was way better, however.

"Ohhhh." He made a face as she explained the question. It wasn't as horrible as he was imagining. "Okay, two things. One, I accept your offer- I'll give you an answer, and you'll owe me one thing of my choosing. Two, it's hard NOT to look at you, because it's a normal human person conversation thing to do, but also because of your rather stunning eyes, so I'm glad that the answer is never. Which is my answer. Never." He said with an air of half compliment half joke half charming amazingness. Leo was the full package.

"I'll attempt not to." He answered, following her out. A second later, Mori leapt the 6 or so feet off the ground and landed on his shoulder, still dressed in the black outfit and looking quite smug about it. She let out a chirp of pleasure and snuggled herself into the crook of his neck before sitting there with the utmost content look on her face. Leo chuckled lowly and followed Glory, his steps only slightly off and limping. That was because of the slowly healing hole in his leg. Didn't feel good. He glanced at the bird as it flew off, then looked back to her. "Haven't taken the time to think about it, but I can give an educated guess. .... somewhere on earth." He answered with a small grin. "Somewhere in this country. Ima narrow it down more. Somewhere within 100,000 miles." He paused. "Actually, I got the best answer yet. Somewhere within walking distance."

Lieutenant Dwyer

"That..." Glory started, then paused, "would actually work. Those things are harder than a pedophile at a preschool." That was a fairly common phrase with Glory, though only to be used in the right company. Leo was... not that company. She had a distinct feeling that he really wouldn't appreciate that one. "Fuuuck- I said nothing," She mumbled with a sharp wince.

"Well true, but it'll kill you, earthling. Not me," She countered. (haha yes please do xD It's how my mother cooks steak, meanwhile my stepdad likes it to still have bruises where the jockey was whipping it lmfao)

"You sure about that? I've drug plenty of dead bodies, and those things never got hurt - in the dragging, anyway - so I'm pretty sure you'd be no different," Glory said, with an almost grim determination. She had noticed one thing, though. People felt WAY heavier when unconscious, so the easiest thing would be to scare him awake and yank him outta bed. Easy fuckin peasy.

She scowled as he called her little and grumbled, "There goes the pot calling the kettle black." Quite flat out calling him equally small. "Yeah, good, otherwise you'd end up with peanuts crammed down your throat too," She huffed, though her expression softened a little as he continued. "Why thank you." Book of Shit was still uh-may-zing, regardless of what he thought.

"Awww," Glory said, "how sappy." She said it with the exact tone one might instead say "How sweet", which was technically what she meant in Normal Speak. Some little part of her, probably a close relative of the fossilized or dying nice part, did really appreciate compliments, however little it showed. "Alright, you answered the question, what do you want in return?" She asked, rather curious as to what he wanted.

"Mmmm, close," She hummed happily. "Yes, duh, walking distance. Tell ya what, you guess right and you get another whatever-the-fuck you want." Glory was certain he'd never be able to guess, never ever not in a million years, no sir, but still, the game was entertaining.

(Okay, okay- hold up- how am I even supposed to respond to that. My morbid mind is laughing its frigging head off, but I can't even FATHOM how offended Leo would be xD))

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo was about to agree with her with the part about it actually working- he had his mouth open and everything to speak- when she continued, and his jaw hit the floor. As stated before, they could both rip the most gruesome torture methods of all time, but his mind, at least when it came to sexual profanity, was very, very clean and clear of any thoughts like that. However, growing up around his FATHER, it's not like he didn't know anything. He was ANYTHING but innocent. "you said something, it was not nothing." He pointed out while gathering his jaw off of the floor, not even knowing if HE could be dramatic enough to do justice to that. "I am quite terrified to be around you at the moment, Glory, but I'll do you a favor and forget that you just injured me terribly, to the point where what little brain cells I had left were screaming in agony and rolling on the empty floor of my skull, completely void of all hope." He stopped, not being able to hold back a bigger reaction any longer. "Nevermind I'm never forgetting that- what the FUCK did you just say. Somehow you managed to duck below my expectations AND horrify me beyond repair in one single sentence. Give me a second here- I'm mentally fucking DYING so go back to EXPLAINING TORTURE METHODS or even SOPHIA MATTHEWS because I was NOT the right audience to make that comment to!" He moaned in ABSOLUTE pain, mind injured BEYOND repair. And now it was permanently burnt into his very essence. Beautiful. *Hardee than a pedophile at a preschool* would forever be scalded into his mind, thanks to her. Even past the point of death.

Leo didn't quite get over that traumatizing experience, and wouldn't until hell froze over or he stopped swearing all together, neither of which would happen. However, being the mentally unstable person he was, he did manage to move on. Ish. "I'm not a normal earthling, now remember that." He huffed. (Yeah, I have a friend who's dad likes to eat it while it's still mooing xD. Thankfully, me and my father and the only people who know how to cook steaks in my family, and we both have similar taste *relief*)(

"Dead bodies cannot get hurt! They're DEAD." Leo pointed out dramatically. "You try dragging me anywhere and the very act of pulling on whatever limb you decide looks like a good handle with wake me up pretty damn fast." He snorted. "Think up a better solution."

He had no doubts that she would think up something like startling him out of the bed or somehow freaking him out enough to jump up on his own, but technically that was legal within the dare, so meh.

"Ha!" Leo laughed as she grumbled those words under her breath. "More like the mountain calling the pebble small." He teased.

"You're welcome, and my God, that's like the fourth almost compliment today. You're on a roll." He grinned, his eyes twinkling. At her question, he chuckled. "Oh no, it's not that easy. I'm going to hang it over your head until we're having an argument then I will pull out my trump card and say that you have to agree with me, or something like that." He smirked a bit evilly. "I will save that favor until I want to use it."

"I'm just going to start rattling off every place from here to cape cod." He snorted at her words. "Can you give me one hint, though? Something to go off of?"

(I'm so, so sorry- for poor Leo xD It was just too good of a line not to use right there lmfao)

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory winced even harder at his reaction, and it only got worse from there. "Nope, no totally did not," She said sheepishly. "Yeah, I think that's how most people are around me." She only winced harder as he continued, and felt like she was about ready to cringe back into Columbus's time. A very small, shameful, "sorry" was all she could muster. Now, despite being a virgin, no form of profanity was off the table with Glory, with a few small restrictions, the most important was that most of the time, anything regarding children was off limits. Literally anything else? Perfectly fine. Among her favorites were 'fuck me sideways' and 'your mother's in charge of blowjobs at a whorehouse in Asshole, Indiana', and some far, far worse that ideally shouldn't be committed to any form of writing. But she had really crossed a line with the pedophile line and was not happy with herself for it.

Glory was understandably relieved when he managed to move past it and tried to follow suit. "Okay, you're tall as a damned giraffe, earthling, but my cooking would still kill you," She said with a snort. (Medium rare/well, right? half my family likes it rare and the other likes it well done/congratulations, so it's so hard having steak for dinner xD)

"Okay, fine, I kill you first and then drag you outta bed! Then, since dead bodies can't get hurt, I win," Glory said somehow cheerfully. Well yes, but also no. Since dying tended to hurt. Plus, who'd cook breakfast? Certainly not Glory.

"Oh shush, that's false," She huffed, frowning. "No it ain't, it's just the fourth not-insult today," Glory argued. But a not-insult and an almost-compliment were pretty much the same thing, right? Which meant Leo was right.

"That's not how that works!" She protested. "You get something either today or tomorrow or you don't get anything." Something else made up on the spot? Perhaps, but that wasn't important.

"Umm... it's both big and not," Glory said very unhelpfully. She'd give him one more free hint but that was it, it was more fun to make him guess.

(Honestly though, you killed his last remaining 3 braincells, two of which were drunk and one was high on cocaine XD)

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo was a BIT glad that she seemed to regret killing his last three braincells. He could give quite the speech when thoroughly offended. And since his childhood was not sunshine and rainbows, he tended to be even more sensitive about children. So that comment was PAINFUL. Still, over all that, he couldn't help feeling a LITTLE sad and guilty that she genuinely looked like she regretted it. Yeah, that alone proved that she could say whatever the fuck she wanted and his feelings about her wouldn't budge a millimeter. Overall, his dislike of that type of profanity was mostly because he could NEVER decide whether to laugh or be offended, and he hated being indecisive. So honestly, he didn't mind - just gave him more opportunities to be dramatic. And, not surprisingly, he was also very much a virgin, and that wasn't any type of a question from anyone- he wasn't a social person to begin with and most people thought he was fucking insane, so just being around Glory was more than enough for him. Someone who was just as crazy as he was. If not more so.

"I still think it would take a lot more than a couple doses of lethal cooking to kill me." Leo scoffed. He'd like to believe so, anyway. If not, it was even more of a miracle that he wasn't decomposing six feet under somewhere. (Ohhhhh yeah. At restaurants, usually medium rare. That way there's FLAVOR. And you have my utmost sympathy- I would not survive in such a situation xD()

"The deal was that you dragged me out UNHARMED." Leo scowled with a huff. "Which means no killing! Of any kind. Plus, it'd be a loss for you. No breakfast." He added.

"Not insult and almost compliment are practically the same thing. You're arguing the difference between grey and gray." Leo snorted, obviously, he was in the right. Duh. "You never specified a time! Which means I could do it right now or 50 years in the future!" He paused. "Most likely won't live that long ... details details." He brushed off that particular thought process. "In any case, the deal was that if I answered your question, you owed me a favor. No time restraints, no specifications." He stated easily- right again! He was good at this shit.

"OH MY GOSH that is THE most HELPFUL piece of information EVER! I WONDER what I could do with that!" Leo gasped, placing a hand on his heart. "I simply CANNOT believe you would give away that much information!" He added with a dramatic glare towards her, his words dripping with so much sarcasm it was almost palpable. "Thanks, Einstein." He grumbled. "Is it a bar? Restaurant? House? Simple meeting place? School? Buffet? I'm starving." He stopped his questioning with a frown as he realized more than half of his answers were about food. His stomach had much more influence than his three dead braincells.

(That's such a mood omg xD seems half my braincells found something to snort, the other half are overworked and underpaid lmao)

Lieutenant Dwyer

Contrary to popular belief, remorse was one of the few emotions Glory had to deal with, and Jesus-Christ-Bananas did she get a double helping of it now. Maybe, just maybe, making an offensive joke out of something was one of the lame and immature ways she dealt with things. Like, everything, all the time, 24/7, year-round.

"Believe what you want, my cooking would at least land you the better part of a month in the infirmary," Glory said with a shrug. Honestly, she could probably just use her force-feeding abilities not for peanuts, but for her own home-cooked meals, mainly for Corrupted. It'd work splendidly. (I want you to just imagine, if you will, the arguments that go on whenever dinner is made, it's pathetic x'D)

Glory considered this for a moment before saying, "That it would be. God knows I can't make breakfast." God also knew how rarely she even ate breakfast, hence why she never made it, but that wasn't important.

"Not even close. I'm arguing the difference between there, they're, and their," She countered. That was one of the many things that bothered her, when people couldn't grasp the difference between those, and you're and your. So frustrating, and a pain to read. "No, nope, negative, yesn't, fake news, major false. I did specify a time, just now, you've got 48 hours to pick something," Glory said, frowning slightly. My, he was difficult. Probably learned it from Glory.

"Oh eat shit," She grumbled. That was the POINT, to be useless! "Okay, umm, kinda the first 4 but not and also other things not mentioned," She said, equally as unhelpfully. Also part blacksmith's shop, which was part of the reason for going in the first place. Also a house, and its inhabitants happened to cook well and drink quite a bit. So yes, a bar, restaurant, house, and simple meeting place could all be justifiable ways to describe it.

(Yessss we must share a brain xD))

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"I've been landed for the better part of a year in an infirmary before, so I think I'd survive a month." Leo scoffed indignantly, then paused. That would be boring as hell without her. "On the contrary, their beds are quite uncomfortable. I'll stick with being sort of alive, thanks." He decided. (Oh my gosh, I can ONLY imagine. Sounds like my family and tacos. Everyone in my family loves venison in their tacos, except for my mother who refuses to eat venison anywhere and instead forces my father or I [the only cooks in the family] to make a completely separate Pan of burger. I understand xD))

"See, I'm glad to see the common sense in not killing me so I can make breakfast." He nodded in approval. Honestly, Leo rarely ever ate breakfast either, but he was a born cook- although he hated doing it- and no matter what he cooked, it usually turned out amazingly. Especially if it was meat of some sort.

"Nuh uh. That's far too giant of a difference. The fucking idiots who can't seem to figure out that those three words have completely different meanings make me MAD. It's like your and you're and too, to, and two." He huffed, wrinkling his nose. "So no, it's much more like arguing grey and gray. Practically no difference." He stated, leaving no room for argument. Knowing Glory, she'd make one anyway.

"When did you specify a time!? You're turning into Dory." He scoffed. "I heard no specified time. Which means: I will wait until you forget about this to bring it back up." Leo said with a purely wicked smile.

"I'd prefer not to." He snorted at her words, then lifted his eyebrows. "Wow. Just wow. I'm actually impressed by the sheer amount of uselessness in your words." He rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair as he thought. "Eeeehhhmmm... so... is it a house? Like do people live in it?" He decided to go specific, as apparently broad did not help. In the slightest.

(probably xD)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Mhm, right," Glory said sarcastically, then a smug grin tugged at her lips as he chose life. "Knew it," She snickered. Though she was glad for his decision, a month without him would be awful. No thanks. (aw c'mon, venison's just wild beef, eat the damn deer xD) "Yup, so you better cook as well as you think you do, otherwise I won't have any reason to keep you around," She said in an almost pitying 'I don't want to have to get rid of you' tone with a sigh.

"Is not," Glory huffed, "Grey and gray are different in the same way as the others, one makes you look dumb as shit and the other makes you look somewhat literate." She gave absolutely no indication of which was which, which basically meant they both made you look stupid. Gray - or grey - was just a bad word in general, Glory preferred to use the term 'dark white'. So you got white, off-white, and dark white. And for darker shades of dark white? Not darker white, no. Light black. So, in order, it is white, off-white, dark white, light black, and black. No idiotic grays here.

"I JUST said when, JUST NOW, god, how did you miss that?" She huffed at him. "Besides, your plan has a fatal flaw: I never forget." That was why she could hold grudges for over a decade, just waiting to make someone's life a living hell. She could wait, and wait, and wait some more, until just the perfect time, and BOOM! Presto chango, everything's shit.

"Well that's too damn bad," She grumbled. "Yes, be very impressed. It was so difficult thinking up that sentence," She rolled her eyes at him, then paused. How to phrase this one to be equally useless... somehow Leo'd turned a SINGLE HINT into a game of Twenty Questions. "A person," She corrected, "So yes. A house. Any more questions or are you gonna take a guess?" Probably not, he'd just ask another question. Which was just fine and dandy, she could keep the answers useless.

The wind-up bird kept going along, but every 50 feet or so it'd stop and make the world's shittiest crash landing, so Glory'd wind it up again, and off it went. The bird was intended as a sort of guide, but Glory could walk there blindfolded, so the bird wasn't necessary. It just gave her something to do and something to watch. The way it flew -very poorly- was amusing.

+++

"I prefer living and being able to almost walk than not being able to walk at all." Leo sighed woefully. No poisonous food. Damn his common sense. (I don't understand what she can't like about it! Literally one of the most delicious things on the planet. Even more delicious when you shoot, gut, and process the deer yourself [like me] xD))

"I promise, I cook as well as you think I do. I don't know why or how." He answered with a slight snort. As she went on an hour long rant about grey and gray, and probably continued the conversation in her mind, he stayed silent- that was NOT something he wanted to be caught arguing about. He could take the loss every once in a while. Like when it didn't matter. Like now. At least he was smart enough to give up.

"We made the deal BEFORE you said it which means it is NOT part of the deal. How can you miss that?" He challenged, being an insufferable monster, per usual, and not backing down. He would refuse to lose this word war.

"OK fine, you don't have to forget. I'll just wait until you'e thinking about something else." He rolled his eyes. She was making this just as difficult as he was. Of course, in a humorous way somehow, as he still had to resist the urge to just drop it and grin. How did they survive this long.

(I'm using that too. PRESTO CHANGO, everything's shit. XD)

He sighed, a very lengthy, low sigh, as she completely failed to answer his question- almost, anyway. It was a house. At least. "I have been guessing." He grumbled. "And you said the first four. How specific do I have to get. Is it a BUILDING. Does that building have ALCOHOL and FOOD in it. If those things are true, past that, I'm not quite sure I care anymore." He huffed.