(Personally no. But my mother has twice and one of my friends has, so how hard can it be? xD)

Harder than you think xDD. I've been in 2 parades, and damn. Just remember to have fun and don't go behind the firetrucks xD)

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo rolled his eyes. "Your therapist was a tortoise brained sea slug." He sniffed. "They obviously didn't know up from down, because was I see is specialness. Maybe some insanity, but the good kind." He pointed out firmly. The good kind. That justified it. He was insane, too, so... yeah. "Don't thank me for the truth." He replied easily. It was easy to speak the truth, especially about her. Then again, she never took it as the truth, so it made it damn near impossible. He could write a whole book about her wonderful qualities. He couldn't write a single paper about most things, so that was saying a lot. Every time he tried to write about something he didn't want to write about, he usually got a sentence in. Then he would delete that sentence cause it sucked. And he usually ended with nothing. So... yeah. That's why he would write a book about her- he would love to do it. To show everyone how actually amazing she is. Maybe then she'd believe it.

"All of the above is most certainly an option." He grinned, looking amused. All of the above was a great option, in his opinion, and it made him tingle with happiness. For some reason. And the warm fluffy fuzzy soft feeling in his heart had returned in full force. Weren't emotions just great? "I've never met anyone more interesting to talk to, so I guess we're even." He said cheerfully. He could continue a conversation with her for HOURS. Days, even weeks, and never get bored. Even her voice was amazing.

"You have no bad ideas EXCEPT for the ones in which you will most certainly get mortally wounded." He glared at her. "In that case, I will not hesitate to restrain you in any way possible. I would much rather cuddle with an intact Glory, thank you very much." He said with a huff.

He definitely agreed with her words. They were at rock bottom, and they couldn't go any further. Their feet were six inches into the bedrock. They could get worse, but it wouldn't matter.

"It's not an invasion of privacy if it was an insult about me!" He complained. "I'd much rather you just say it aloud so I can complain aloud." He huffed, then paused. "Actually, nevermind. You showed amazing self control to not say it. For that, I salute you. Good job." He nodded curtly instead. Positive reinforcement. It always worked. It wasn't like how he'd train a dog or anything. Pfft.

-

Leo was still trying to shove the memory out of his head, as even that made him want to blanch. He did not know how a single memory could make his stomach so queasy, but it did. He had seen parts of his flesh get cut off before, and that wasn't bad, but apparently having it float away on a river was. Especially when that particular piece had been rather... charred.

"It was more like drunkenly staggering into them and accidentally flattening them because it was early and I woke up early and I was tired, but sure. Whatever you say." He grinned, chuckling lightly at her next words. "You're usually correct." He stared fondly, then snorted. "Uuuuusually." He made sure to punctuate the USUALLY part of that.

(I know the feeling xD

That's fine- I'm exhausted and don't know how I'm responding, so yeah xD)

(I'm rereading Leo and Glory meeting again and I came across this chunk of gold:

THAT IS THE WORST LIE SHE HAS EVER TOLD XDDD

Glory's mind is permanently stuck in the sewers, not just the gutter. It's stuck down there with It xD)

(Pfft years ago, my mother and her aunt rode in a parade. Ma was carrying a flag, and long story short, her aunt's horse spooked, its shoes slipped on the pavement, horse fell, stepping on aunt's leg getting up, and left her with a perfect horseshoe bruise xD)

(Yeah, that perfectly encompasses what riding in a parade feels like xD)

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo snorted quietly at her words. It had taken a moment to figure out what the heck she was saying- he may speak Glory, but he didn't speak teethless. However, he did manage to pull through. It may have been hard on his only braincell that specialized in language- Haymitch- but that didn't matter. "That's fine by me. Maybe then you'll realize that when I give you a compliment it IS the truth and you should stop trying to say it's not." Leo countered right back, huffing quietly.

"And then some- really reaching for the skies here." He teased, though he wasn't able to wipe that frigging stupidly happy grin off of his face. Gol DAMN it was hard to even think when all he could do was mentally hop around in circles and be like: SEE THAT DAD?! SOMEONE DOES THINK I AM AWESOME. SHOVE THAT UP YOUR ASS. Happy thoughts, am I right?

"Delightful, yes. Malicious- only when need be. And you are the most interesting person I have ever met, so that statement was true." He replied with his own snort. She was always delightful to talk to, if not a little eye opening at times.

"Yes, most of them, and yes, that is DEFINITELY a good enough reason to remain in one piece." He agreed with a pleased expression. Rabbit trail thought, he guessed it wouldn't even MATTER if he was in two pieces- that just meant he was the size of a normal human. Or, well, two normal humans. How delightful. Well, maybe slightly shorter humans. Like, children. But still. A 3'4 child is still a 5 year old, so that was good enough. Most people would be toddlers if they were cut in half. So... ha.

"For one, I WILL find something more creative to complain about, and for two, you're welcome." He shook his head with amusement.

-

"My drunken staggering was sleep deprivation and probably some leftover alcohol as well." He said cheerfully. ACTUALLY, he hadn't drank alcohol in far too long, and as soon as they got to Libodon, he was pulling out a beer before going to discuss how to take down the Corrupted. He ran off of the shit, what could he say.

As he sat there and stared at the river, his mind flashed back to 7 years ago, when he was playing with little Jules in a river just like this. It only took that much remembrance for the entire memory to come crashing back into his mind, unbidden, like a tidal wave of bad memories.

(IN MEMORY)

Leo sat by the bank of the river and opened his arms, beaming as little Jules, with her dark red hair and glowing amber eyes, so similar to him, squealed in pleasure and tottered over to him, collapsing in his arms. "That was so amazing! You're getting better every day." He cooed, absolute joy filling every crevice of his heart that had formerly been mutilated by pain and fear and murder. That was a different story alllll together. He was too happy to focus on that now. He took one of her little hands and spun her around slowly, laughing as she sneezed and fell backwards. She was so close to the ground already, it didn't even matter. She then teetered over to the bank of the river and plopped down, watching the fish with interest before grabbing a flower and poking at its petals. When a fish jumped out of the water, she shrieked with pure delight, waving her arms. Leo smiled happily, warmth spreading through his entire chest. He could stay with her forever. As he watched her fondly, he was reminded of how much he loved Liona, Jules, and Timbre. They were the only real family he ever had. That's when everything started going downhill. Ten minutes later, he would realize that he was officially the least lucky person on earth. He heard a crack in the forest, and naturally, his mind immediately went to Corrupted. Of course, he could take on one or two, but protecting her would be harder, and he didn't want to risk it. He scooped her up quickly and started jogging back. It wasn't safe out here anymore, so he thought he'd just return to Libodon. Then when he glimpsed bodies moving through the trees. Dozens of them. *They must be launching an attack on Libodon.* He thought, his stomach twisting with horror. He wasn't going to make it back there in time, so, looking around frantically for something to do... Jules started crying. He heard all the feet stop. He clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs, diving behind a clump of ferns and huddling there silently, watching. They got so close- SO close to being found out. If they were, both him and Jules would die. But the Corrupted marched past, having decided what they heard was a bird or something. He didn't know when he removed his hand from her mouth. Sometime after they left. What he did know was the silence that followed was deafening. Fear coursed through his every vein as he gently grabbed the child off of his leg, absolute terror twisting through his gut at her limp body. A heart wrenching scream ripped through him at the same time as he saw her chest wasn't rising and falling at all, that her head was limp off to the side, her face a sickly, pale blue. He pressed a finger to her tiny, weak little pulse, trembling like a leaf, and a sob racked him as he felt nothing. Not a flutter, just NOTHING. He didn't care if the Corrupted heard him now. He sank onto the ground, tears immediately swelling in his eyes and trickling onto his skin. The sickening truth hung right in front of him, mocking him. He had killed her. His niece. One of three people in the entire world he loved. He had killed her. There was nothing he could do. In the pain that followed, he had brought Jules back to Libodon, and there were only more tears shed by everyone there, more shrieks of pain and fear. Timbre, staring wide eyed, gripping her mother's hand, not even quite sure was was wrong. Liona, hugging the body, not wanting to let go. Rodney, speechless, pained, and furious, glaring at Leo with all of the malice in the world. That was when Leo knew his life would truly never be the same.

(MEMORY OVER)

Leo blinked, his vision swimming as the river returned to it, the dark fading from the edges. He saw that his hands were now trembling slightly, so he pressed them against his legs to get them to stop, Biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood to anchor himself in the present. He had only relived that memory a million times, but it was just as painful every damn time. That feeling, the horrible feeling of holding someone you loved in your arms, knowing they'd never see the light of day again, and it was YOUR fault? It was the worst he had ever experienced in his entire life. He'd do anything to get Jules back. He would damn right sacrifice himself, everything he has. He'd go through an eternity of torture if he knew that she was alive and safe again. But no... the universe had fucked him over big time, because he was getting tortured with the memory, every single damn time it came up, and she was still gone. Still dead. Still not here. He inhaled a shuddering breath through his nose, tightening his jaw slightly. Oh, how he wished it was some kind of a terrible nightmare that was was reliving over and over, but it was a memory. Of something he did.

(I know xD

I don't know *sobs quietly* I'm forgetful and this rp has been going on for so long and he's a flipping time traveler. I can never keep track xD. He is 28 right now. I only changed it from 34 to 28 because I very quickly decided I wanted him to have an excuse for being so stupid xD. I don't know where the 26 came from)

(BTW, You're welcome for the 1400 word post :D)

(I imagine xD Difference is, my horse ain't shod lmao)

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Almost always. Unless they're from me. Then they're just a sweet sentiment from an adorable person." Leo grinned, looking all too pleased with his perfect way to describe it. An adorable person that very likely would kill anyone else that tried to give her a compliment with ill intentions. So, more like a cuddle fish. Adorable and poisonous... a deadly combination. "You're doing a stupendous Job. Keep it up." He snorted with amusement. Honestly, that was more than amazing, even though she was using Glory Speak. It was the FACT that she was using Glory Speak that made it amazing. He was quite sure that she had never uttered anything remotely close to that to ANYONE that had ever existed on planet earth.

"You're making this worse." He gave her a deadpan look. "Accept the praise and move on, you baffoon." He huffed.

"Just pointing this out, I am ONLY soft and cuddly with you. Any other human being will get whalloped quite painfully and possibly smacked so hard that their skull leaves their skin." He stated stoicly, not really joking at all. He couldn't argue that he wasn't soft and cuddly with her... cause he was... but he could argue that he wasn't with anyone else. Which was true.

-

"No no no." He flashed a smile. "I mean leftover alcohol in my bloodstream that hasn't made its way out even after days of being there." He clarified with a small chuckle. What she said was also true, and although he wasn't a Scot... he was a German. They drank alcohol instead of milk. Every meal of the day.

If she would have prodded him out of his memory, he wouldn't have responded. He found this out quite a while ago when this happened when he was strangling a Corrupted. He practically just froze and didn't move, and even when the Corrupted wiggled their way out of his grasp, stabbed him, and ran, he still didn't move. Of course, he felt the pain, but he was... like... paralyzed. Stuck in the memory too deep to be pulled out. So real it WAS like he was reliving it. After he had returned to the present, his bright golden eyes had darkened and dulled considerably, and he was just trying to forget. And not live, really. He didn't want to exist at this moment. The mental pain was so much worse than any physical pain. So much worse than the burns. Reliving that one memory, the biggest regret of his life, over and over, was almost more than he could bear. After however many years, he thought that he'd grow numb to it, but he NEVER did. It was just as painful as the day it happened. Her words were barely whispers in his ears, and he took a while to respond, one of his hands pressed into his leg and the other still shaking just slightly in her grasp. "I'll be fine. Eventually." He finally mumbled. That was a lie. He was NEVER fine, but that was the price of his mistake. He deserved to live this over and over, and he knew that and had accepted it by now.

(Uhhh... that's true too. How the heck do you remember these things-le sob-

Your laptop sounds like it's ALWAYS an ass. I do all these posts on my phone, so I've gotten REALLY good at typing xD. It is torture)

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"I'm a unique case." Leo pointed out. "Can't fathom why, but I am." He would never be able to fully wrap his head around how he was good for ANYONE, but Glory still managed to somehow not kill him at every given moment. She even managed to LIKE him. Somehow. Every OTHER person on the planet would definitely be dead by now, but him? Somehow still there.

"I have more big fancy words. Stupendous. Spectacular. Amazing. Astonishing. Stunning. Striking. Breath taking. Excellent. Extravagant. Flawless. Superb. Immaculate. Terrific." He rattled on with a grin. He honestly had more words to spew out, but he didn't have the time. Sometimes, he felt like a Thesaurus, others, he could barely remember his own name. It changed almost every day.

"You do NOT. That's a blatant lie." He scoffed. "You made me better, and that's a big thing. No one, not even Liona, has managed to do THAT." He pointed out with a huff. He attempted to keep a straight face at her insult, but he ended up laughing instead. Humongous fail. "Stick to swear words. Then I'll actually be able to scowl at you." He complained. (It is one if the BEST movies ever made. I love that movie. Every single time I see a white rabbit, I put on a helluva dramatic show in going NOWHERE near it xD)

"Sometimes I worry that you'll whack me so hard my skull goes out the other side as well, but I guess I can rest in peace knowing that it's unlikely to happen." He commented drily. He would NEVER hurt her, and yet he was a bit worried for his life every time he said something that merely made her glare. Quite the difference.

-

"Lucky." He grumbled. "I wish I would've been blessed with that." Sounded like a damn superpower to him, but who was he to talk. It wasn't like he was addicted to it or anything. Pfft. (Ooo. I will use that against my mother the next time she chugs two damn bottles in 1 hour xD)

He was skeptical about the way she sounded- like a normal actually caring human being that was interested in what he had to say- before he vaguely remembered that they both acted a little differently around each other. He was too busy being mentally traumatized to care, though. Honestly, he would've been a MUCH different person if raised in a normal household. He would've probably died at the sight of his skin floating away from him. He would've never survived the amount of pain he could now. As Glory had put it, he used his body as a battering ram, which it really WASN'T. It meant he got a lot more hurt than usual people, but he also did more damage than most, and he could deal with more pain. He had been growing numb to physical pain since he was a child, so it was really nothing. Following that train of thought, he SHOULD be VERY numb to mental pain as well, but APPARENTLY he wasn't. Everything hurt just as much. If not more. It was like a damn burn that never went away. He continued staring at the water and thought for a moment... it may have been longer, time was avoiding him at the moment. Maybe it'd help to get something off of his chest, and if he told anyone, it'd be Glory. She was the most likely one to actually understand and be helpful. Other people would look at him like he was a monster. He knew this because the people involved- that were still alive- DID think he was a monster. A dangerous individual to be avoided at all costs. Eventually, the lingering feeling of horror from the memory made his decision for him. And, per usual in situations like this, his mind went with the most blunt approach possible. "I killed someone dear to me. Accidentally." 7 words summed up his entire life, somehow. He did a terrible unforgivable thing, but it was accidentally. "I guess I was a very, very different person when I was 21. Definitely stupider, if that's even possible. And a coward, apparently. Although I was trying to protect little Jules, I failed miserably, and I still ran away from a fight." He mused quietly, only realizing AFTER the point that she didn't have any context. "Jules is- was-" He winced. That was way more painful than any damn burns. "My niece. My sister- Liona's- daughter, one of two, twins. I was playing with her by the river. I heard Corrupted, saw at least 50, guessed they were attacking Libodon. I took Jules and started going back to Libodon, quickly, but not quickly enough, apparently. The Corrupted got too close, and they were alerted when Jules started crying." He looked like a puddle of woeful sorrow at this point, shoulders slumped and grief written all over his face. "I just tried to quiet her... I didn't want them to kill her... but I ended up doing just that...... and somehow, that wasn't even the worst part." He somehow wilted more. "Trying to tell her parents, my sister, her sister, my other niece, that she was dead, that I had killed her? That was the worst part. Liona forgave me... months later... and because of that... her husband left her. And took my niece, Timbre, Jules' sister. Liona gave up them for ME, and I don't fucking know why. Not long later, she died too, also my fault, so I guess it barely mattered anyway. I got what I deserved." His gaze was dull again as he focused it on the water.

-

(You're a witch xD

I like your logic. It makes sense. And you're welcome xD)

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

"Okay, let me just add, we met in such special circumstances that we NOTICED each other." He snorted. "If we would've just passed each other in the hall, it would've been just that. Passing each other in the hall. I'm pretty sure the only thing that saved us was my boredom and your want to duel." Leo pointed out with a chuckle. Honestly, plus, when they talked to each other back then, they were much more tame about it. An ass whooping comment here or a rescuing comment there. Nothing too special. Not the crazy flipping things they threw at each other now.

"You act like I just made some big achievement." He said drily. "I'm only a moron some days about some things." Somehow that was more insulting than uplifting. He had knowledge, he just didn't use it. "WHY is it that when you think of immaculate, you think of a brand new TOILET." He looked at her with an incredulous look. "I can use whatever delightful words I want to describe the job you're doing, so there. Also, when I think of immaculate, a clock set to the exact right time, all the way down to the seconds. That's perfect. Immaculate. Not a TOILET." He rolled his eyes, as if that was the weirdest thing she had ever said. It wasn't, quite obviously.

"Not what I meant, but sure. And you're not destructive to me, so I can say what I want, even if the rest of the population cannot." He sniffed. As long as it was true for him, it was fine.

Now it was impossibly easy for Leo to keep a straight face. "That was pitiful, Glory." He stated in the tone of a history professor. "You said that with so much drabness that I almost fell asleep." After he was done, he smirked triumphantly. "See? Easier when I know you can't actually mean it." He teased. "But you're still a buffoon. An adorable, soft, cuddly, fluffy, delightful one." He drew each word out at his smile grew, waiting and EXPECTING the familiar scowl and glare pair.

(Yeah, I know the feeling. I hadn't watched it for a couple years, and I watched it a couple months ago- top tier shtuff. Top tier indeed. And I wish my mother did that xD)

"I feel safer already." He replied drily. As long as he didn't get mortally wounded, then SURE. Apparently he'd be FINE.

-

"Everyone gets hungover, Schatz. It's one of those things in life you can't escape." He stated with a smile. "Unless you stop drinking, but since that would be worse than getting hungover, I'm speaking for the general population when I say that tisn't an option." Although, he did HATE getting hungover. Especially that one night in Scotland. He didn't wake up the next day. The one after that, his head was just one big migraine and he couldn't walk. It frigging sucked.

"Because I could've done so many things differently." He replied sorrowfully. "I could've gone into my dragon form and flew her back. I could've hidden her and went to fight. I could've just kept going and fought off the few that caught up. I could've ran faster, or tried harder. Could've thought up a damn better way to keep her quiet. Coulda, woulda, shoulda, DIDN'T." He felt even worse now. This wasn't helping. He most likely should've just forgotten about it like usual. Or stuffed it into the back of his mind. Then, at least, he could carry-on with his usual life. Right now he felt like a Blob Fish AFTER being pulled up from the deep.

"That was not the logical thing. The logical thing would've been focusing more on her safety than saving my own scales. Even if I had just hidden her and went and died, her parents would've found her, I could've sent them a message with her location, and they would've gotten her and brought her home. They could be one happy family, but no." He scowled at himself, wanting to burrow in a puddle and never come back out again. Somehow her oh sigh was even worse, and his mind completely dissolved into grieving gloop. He exhaled slowly through his knows and wished he could fall into the earth and die in the molten metal at the center. "I never liked him either." He mumbled, a faint smile coming to his face. In fact, Leo quite disliked the jerk, as the guy had always hated him, but he had put up with them for Liona. Obviously, he shouldn't have. Well, for Liona and the twins.

"No. No no no. Jules had a whole damn future ahead of her and I have nothing. I don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Jules could've done anything with her life, she could've been a super important person that made discoveries that would save hundreds of thousands of people, and what can I do? I can make a good plate of bacon. I can kill Corrupted. I can kill CIVILIANS. Timbre has a whole life ahead of her, but now she's too traumatized to live it. And she has such a shithead of a father that she'll never learn right from wrong or ANYTHING." He dropped his face in his hands. "Even SHE hates me because Rodney fed her all this shit about me that wasn't true, overexaggerated the parts that were, and didn't give her a choice. Now he won't let me see her or talk to her and she was the ONE person left in the world that I could consider family." He closed his eyes, Grief and anguish clear in his voice.

(I love that scene xD)