A few weeks had passed since their trip to Spain, though things were far from the expectation of normal that Katrina had once expected. Things were very different for her now, some part of her had gone missing in the running she’d spent the majority of her life doing. The Katrina that Scott had known was the Katrina she was trying so desperately to find, not even for him but for herself. She had never been complete then, but she felt more whole before she’d had and lost him than now, standing in the ruins and the aftermath. Most of her days were spent robotically completing her tasks and avoiding anyone with the last name of Scott. It felt too similar, too reminiscent of the time in her life she fled once before. Too easily, she could slip back into that place and be forced to confront the underlying emotions that drove her actions and continued to, even now, years later. Yet, if she stayed stuck forever, she knew her emotions would still find her--she couldn’t hide from Scott forever. Some part of her didn’t want to.

Over the past few weeks, tensions had been higher than ever between the former flames. Scott seemed to be allowing Katrina to put distance between them, though it was obvious it hurt him. The young woman was beginning to see pieces of the man she remembered, namely in his excessive empathy. She knew he absorbed every single emotion from the people around him, and she could see that it was weighing on him. She hadn’t asked him to take on the burden of the years of tragedy and heartache she carried around with her, and it was almost disturbing to her to know that he was. She wanted to feel guilt for that, but she’d gone completely numb somewhere along the way. She couldn’t even feel remorse for the things she hadn’t said to her father before she’d watched him die weeks prior.

Perhaps that was why, she reasoned, Scott was allowing her space. He’d lost a parent, or maybe both, she recalled, and he understood the grieving process. Still, it was difficult to believe that it was more than his low self-esteem and fear of messing things up that prevented him from pursuing her. It was for the better, at least for now. This was what she told herself, that she wasn’t emotionally capable of accepting him back into her life in any capacity at the moment. She couldn’t rip open all of those old wounds now that they were finally healing, it wasn’t a worthy investment when she couldn’t trust herself to stay, let alone ask him to. Forever was a lie. This was a mantra she’d repeated to herself until she believed it. Unless she wanted to be hurt, she had to keep everyone at a distance. If she slipped up even for a moment, it would take her years to recover. Ironically, this thought process was the one she carried into the farm where she’d met Scott, all those years ago, and he’d broken down her walls all the same. Still, it felt like too much to expect him to do it again once more.

The next day began as any other for Katrina, though the joyless monotony of completing tasks was a foreign concept to her. It had been years since she stayed somewhere for weeks at a time, and she’d made a habit of losing herself to the spontaneity of that lifestyle. She was enjoying the structure of working here more than she cared to admit, especially when an admittance such as that gave way to the implication of her permanence at this farm. She couldn’t afford to show even the slightest fraction of emotion, one way or the other. It was entirely too dangerous.

She was up before the sun, her hair still damp from her shower the evening prior. That was enough to make her cold, though the late-April air promised warmth the farm hadn't seen in months. She got dressed in riding clothes, ate, and made her way down to the farm to hack Tucker before too many people arrived on the property. The pony had a reputation for being a menace, and Katrina preferred to deal with him without being under the watchful eye of people who wanted to give her unsolicited advice and call it helping. Of all of the things she had a distaste for, this was perhaps the most severe. Avoiding that headache was worth the loss of the few hours of sleep she might have received.

After she finished hacking Tucker, Katrina went for her morning run. She chose a different trail every day with the utmost confidence that no one was trail riding at such an early morning hour. However, the fanatical habit running had once been had subsided into faded passion. Where she had once ran for hours on end to fight the paranoia that monopolized what was left of her life, she now barely had the drive to put one foot in front of the other. She would never admit it, but she was tired of running both literally and figuratively.

After this, Katrina made her way down to the office attached to the main barn. She had a meeting today which set her schedule back by a half hour, which irritated her beyond belief. She didn't show it, though she rarely showed anything. She could be so hard to read, primarily because she wanted to be. She was a very private person, and especially in her current state. To others, she was only the sum of her riding talent and the few words she offered on occasion.

"We're still waiting on your partner," the head of staff mentioned casually, offering Katrina coffee or tea. She declined with few words, checking her watch. If she was ten minutes early, she expected her partner to be at least five. It respected everyone's time, in her opinion. To her surprise, Scott entered right at eight, and not accidentally. The woman whose name Katrina had not cared to remember was welcoming him in the same manner she had done with Katrina minutes ago.

"Katrina, Scott, Scott, Katrina," she introduced. Katrina's skin was pale, her body language rigid. There was a pause, an exchange of eye contact between them, and before she could think to say or do anything else, the young woman offered her hand to Scott to shake.

"Pleased to meet you," she muttered, unsure of whether to feel regret or not. This wasn't Moonlit, and this wasn't the Scott she had worked with years ago. She begged herself to feel guilt for that, but none came. Perhaps it was better if she acted like she didn't know him. She didn't, did she? She was only acquainted with his ghost.

All throughout the seminar, Katrina sat stiffly next to him. She was uncomfortable with this arrangement, and uncomfortable with the fact that she almost cared what his feelings were towards how she acted. It was so much better if she just started over with him and pretended that he was a stranger. She knew he could never feel the same, and some piece of her resented that.

As they exited the office, Katrina waited to ensure no one was in earshot before saying, "Hey, can I talk to you?" She touched his arm softly, out of habit. She retracted it quickly. "About what happened back there, I panicked. But, I think it might be better if we just start over? I knew you years ago, we're not the same people now. I just think it's for the best."

Eden was on her way out of the main house when her phone rang.

“What do you want?” Her accent was thick, as if she were speaking in cursive. Years of immersion and speech therapy had still not helped her to completely remove it, but she was comprehensible to English speakers now, and that was more than she had been able to say in years past. She listened to the person on the other side of the phone for longer than she thought she had patience for, delivering sharp quips and retorts when necessary. Finally, with no warning, she hung up the phone, slamming it back into the pocket of her pants.

Continuing her walk, and now in a sour mood, the blonde made her way swiftly down the corridors of white fencing headed towards the equestrian center portion of the property. The gate between the main house and the farm was covered in rust and overgrown with weeds and ivy, indicating that no one had used this path in a long time. Eden wondered what had happened to this place since she had last been here, yet she knew well the answer to her mindless question: life had happened. She made a mental note to add restoring this pathway to the endless list of things she wanted to fix on the property as she reached the final stretch of her lengthy stroll.

Finally, the tall blonde entered the original barn, her eyes scanning the brass nameplates on the stalls for any indication of familiarity. All of the horses of her youth had been replaced, then again, until all of the equines in the barn were strangers to her. By now, very few remained in this barn, the last of her grandfather’s dying bloodline. The rest of the stalls were completely empty, falling into the same state of disrepair as the main house, the trails, and all of the woman’s other old haunts. A small frown fell across her lips, the emotion of the day seeping into her state of being. Everything was so heavy these days, and all she could feel was the responsibility of all that there was to do in one summer. Taking a deep breath to attempt to settle the tears that lingered in her eyes, Eden walked hastily out of the barn, hitting another figure with full force that she hadn’t seen coming around the corner. Based on his reaction, he hadn’t seen her, either.

“Watch where you walk, why don’t you,” she said angrily, catching her breath. The hit had knocked the wind out of her. She crossed her arms, pouting. Her bright eyes held fury, glued to his. Before he could do anything, Eden took the power away from him, strutting off before he had a chance to do so first. She wanted to know how the people here would treat her if they lacked the knowledge of who she really was, for she knew from experience that it made every difference in the world.