Ethan seemed so giddy that Emilia was saying these things about him. It truly was odd to be saying these things about another man again. She never thought she would be. Not after what the last one put her through. “Guess I’m just good at reading people.” She mumbled, taking a sip of another drink that was served to her with zero complaints. She gave Ethan a half smile at hearing Harvey’s first name. She hadn’t heard it since probably her first day. Or ever.

“I don’t know the last time, or even the first time, I’ve heard anyone say his first name. It’s nice.” She slid her finger around the rim of her glass as Ethan continued to speak, a lot of words really, and she honestly wanted to take one of the mini quiches from the trays floating around with the servers and stuff it into his mouth to get him to be quiet, even for just a moment.

As Ethan just began speaking about his episodes, she immediately began wondering what was wrong with him. She had opened her mouth to speak but Harvey returned too quickly for her to ask Ethan anything about the man. She sighed, glancing to the two of them and making herself silent.

Emilia had a look of worry across her face when he said that he could walk ‘for now’, and before she could offer anything, the Doctor she had been working so closely with over the past few months had simply fallen to the ground. Vulnerable, somewhat exposed. Ethan remained so calm, it seemed incredible to Emilia, as internally her heart was beating out of her chest, the anxiety of what was wrong with her boss building in her chest.

“What can I do Ethan?” She asked, worry in her face, kneeling next to Harvey on the ground, her hands on his face. Before he woke, she stood back up, backing away from him, so it seemed as though she was never there. She hoped the worry was really only slightly there, slightly readable upon her face. She read Harvey’s face like a book, it was easy now, really. She just wished that he would speak the feelings that she was reading on his face.

“Promise.” She said, lifting the martini that seemed to have singe her tastebuds and finishing it off. She watched him walk away and wanted to run after him, badly, but didn’t. Her brows were furrowed, and finally, Ethan spoke the words that she only needed to hear for about two seconds before she sped off to catch up with Harvey.

“Harvey.” She said, still a bit of a distance from him, but walking quickly. “Harvey!” She said with a bit more tension in her voice. When he still didn’t turn around, she jogged a bit until she caught up with him, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket and tugging it to turn him around. “Mason!” She said, finally getting him to look at her.

She gave a sharp sigh, “Alright well, I hadn’t exactly thought past saying your name. But- I was told that I deserve an explanation, so please, will you explain?” She asked, her voice holding a gentle tone. Her hand hadn’t left his arm and was holding near his wrist, waiting for him to speak.

Harvey couldn't help touching his face where Emilia's hands had been when he was briefly paralyzed, feeling the ghost of her warm touch on his skin. Because he was so lost in his thoughts--some of them involving her--it wasn't a surprise that he had ignored her first two calls, not coming out of his head until her very real touch forced him to. He was left slightly breathless, bracing her impact, pained eyes more lost and distant than normal.

She said his name. His real name, not the name he came to. It was so foreign, so unusual, especially on her lips. He let it replay in his mind several times, the events that had just occurred. Mason, then her soft touch on his wrist. It didn't feel real, it was all very hazy. He decided that he was done drinking for the night, maybe for the week. He couldn't be this impressionable with all of the chaos and moving parts. He needed professionalism and organization. He had to hold himself to a higher standard than this.

Yet, he kept hearing the echo of Emilia saying his name in his mind. Maybe it was because it was such a foreign concept to him, even that he had a first name. By now, his first name was Doctor, and his last name was M.D. Harvey was somewhere in the middle, amongst the jumble of 'more important' letters.

The only person that ever called him Mason was his mother, and that was a very brief moment in time. She'd left when he was very young, and the only thing he had to remember her by was the reminder that he had a first name. Perhaps that's why it was so easy to forget, to omit it from his lifestyle. It brought back feelings and reminded him that he was once a person, not a ghost of one molded into an emotionless machine.

Her touch burned into him still, urging him back into the reality of how suspicious this looked. He felt paranoid at these things, knowing all eyes were on him, waiting for him to mess up. He couldn't take the pressure of that with all of his other stressors.

He wanted to make a snide remark about Ethan, about his hopeless romanticism and his belief in exercising empathy and utilizing emotion, but couldn't bring himself to. His eyes slowly flickered, meeting her gaze, and quickly falling back to the ocean, where all things go to die. He faltered, sighed, then in a pained, monotonous tone, replied.

"I'm dying."

He leaned over the railing of the boardwalk, sighing as if the weight of the world was off his shoulders. "That's what this program was about. My father had me to carry on his legacy, and I spent my life so focused on making him proud I never thought about children, or a wife, or anything other than how to fix a heart. I ran out of time so I had to improvise."

He had his head in his hands, unable to face her. He was expectant of a barrage of questions he didn't want to answer, so he took it upon himself.

"You're basically the woman version of me, God help you, so I know you have questions. It makes my blood boil to have to tell you anything at all, but this is where we're at now, I suppose."

He turned his head to one side, ensuring she was still there, that she hadn't given up on him. He took a deep breath and began talking forlornly.

"I have something incurable, the same as my father. Well, vastly different." A switch seemed to flip from behind Harvey's eyes, years of trauma flowing through his steely gaze. "My father chose the cowardly end, I will choose to suffer as I should."

He paused to watch a few tides roll in from the ocean, breathing deeply as not to invoke the emotion that fought to rise to the top of his being and overflow. He continued.

"It's a condition I've never seen in another living person before. Essentially it's degenerative narcolepsy. The body responds to strong emotions by shutting down altogether. Meanwhile, the mind is wide awake. Very soon, I will be too tired to work. I will have paralytic episodes with every breath. A living mind will be stuck inside a dead body, and my time will be over."

He gazed into her eyes gently, a glimmer of hope in them. He smiled softly. "But not yet."

After a comfortable silence had consumed the pair, he felt the uncomfortability of being alone with the same colleague he was always alone with, the others somewhere, perhaps plotting a way to traumatize Emilia brutally enough to make her leave the program. Oddly, he wished to speak more. That was not something he could ever say, but he did. He wished for more time this evening. He wished to tell her that no one had called him Mason for quite some time, and that it reminded him of his mom. That she was out there somewhere, and how he wondered if she ever thought about him. He wanted to tell her that he had felt her hands on his face. About the way that it made him feel alive, despite all outcomes pointing to a dying man. About how he wasn't ready to die, about how he wanted to fix everything and account for all the wasted time he'd spent in textbooks. But he couldn't.

"Davis," his voice was pained, he felt sorrow for pushing her away. "We should go. This looks...like something it's not."

He regretted his choice of words and the fact he had to say them at all. Every second of this was torture, and he wasn't sure how he could endure a week of it. She was so full of life, and he couldn't be around her without thinking that his was coming to an end too soon. He couldn't be around her at all without thinking about how things could have been different.

---

Harvey had regained some level of coldness as he looked to his group, now assembled before him. He had passed out a set of itineraries he had made, each specific to the doctor it belonged to. His cold eyes scanned the small group judgementally, maybe moreso than he had planned to, solely trying to make up for his recent vulnerabilities.

"It's twelve right now, I'm leaving each of you thirty minutes to do what you have to do to prepare for tomorrow. If you need to meet with your overseer, now is the time. If you need to brush up on your case, now is the time. If you turn to page two, you'll see groups are the same as at home, but since Dr. Jacinthe had to sit this out, Dr. Valart will be working with one of my colleagues who is attending for another hospital. As usual, Dr. Massoulles and Dr. Ramsey, and myself with Dr. Davis. Am I clear?"

Among nods, Harvey continued. "The rest of the night is yours, but breakfast is at six tomorrow, so use your hours wisely. Tomorrow is a full day. We will meet at the fountain in the outer courtyard right at six so we can talk about logistics before breakfast. Am I clear? Good."

He smiled at each pair, watching them walk away. One or two lingered, and he wondered if he had made the right decision with Emilia. If he had done the right thing, if she would do right by him. If he had done right by himself by pushing her away, and if he would be able to keep it up for another six days.

He looked a bit shocked when his real name had crossed her lips. It wasn’t too much of a surprise really. She had never called him Mason, and never been given a reason to either. It was odd, honestly, to call him that. To call him something besides Harvey or Dr. Harvey through the months she had spent so much time with him, you would think the topic of first names would come up, but no, it never had. She was always Dr. Davis, and he was always Dr. Harvey.

She didn’t let go of his wrist, and she didn’t give him the option of taking his arm away from her either. A part of her wanted to hold onto him and never let him go. Have him tell her everything that was going on in his brain so that he didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders all the time anymore. However to get him to open up to her that much would take time. Hell, to get her to open up to him that much would take time too.

There was so much silence between them at this point it was almost awkward, so many feelings in just her saying his first name and touching his arm- and that was really all that was needed in some ways. They didn’t need to say a whole lot about it. Her brows furrowed though, expecting him to say something. Her gaze still burned into him as he seemed to have every thought about everything that had ever happened from the day he was born until now, this point, running through his mind. She had a million thoughts running through hers too, that was, until he finally spoke. He finally said words that truly she didn’t understand.

Dying.

Her grip had loosened in that moment enough that he had moved away from her, and a pain had stabbed in her heart a bit. She wanted him to move closer, not further. “Why be so focused on someone else and not about what makes you happy?” She asked him, her voice soft, gentle. Genuine. She truly wondered that. Wondered why someone would work themselves so hard into such unhappiness. But maybe he wasn’t truly unhappy, and it just seemed that way.

She stayed quiet after she asked that though, perhaps feeling as if she had asked or said too much. As he spoke about his condition many questions rose, and as badly as she wanted to ask them, and help, and come up with a possible diagnoses and cure him, she remained silent, coming near him and also leaning against the railing of the boardwalk. She just nodded once he had finished, and also noted how nice a smile looks on him. Normally his expression was so blank, mostly emotionless.

The silence that ensued was comfortable. Emilia just remained watching the waves roll in on the beach in front of them. Something she would be sure to visit later in the week. She wondered what else he might be thinking about. And she hoped that it involved her. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to help, but he would likely just push her away.

The pain that rose in his voice when he spoke before her again was evident, and she turned towards him. His words hurt, but weren’t a huge surprise in all honesty. Her gaze darted to the ground to hide the hurt that appeared in them, though she was sure that he would see it. “Just do me a favor, Mason,” she said, her voice even softer and more tender than before, and she stepped towards him, anyone would notice she had moved her hand up to place it on the side of his face, yet she diverted, and just put it on her other arm, “smile more. It looks good on you.” She told him, before turning and walking away.

---

They had all gathered right before lunch once more, and Emilia had now distanced herself just slightly from Harvey. She just put herself between one other doctor and him, but still paid attention and did all the things she was supposed to. The coldness had returned to his face, and he looked just like the Harvey that they were all used to once more.

Emilia stayed quiet, and nodded and ‘mmhmed’ right along with the others in the group. Of course, she knew her case backwards and forwards, and there was really nothing more she needed to do to prepare for tomorrow. The one thing she did discover though, is that there was a much better bar on the inside of the hotel that she very much planned on visiting tonight, since there was nothing else to do for the day.

Davis lingered near Harvey though, wondering if he had anything more to say to her before she walked off and returned to her room until a more appropriate time to visit said bar. She finally looked to Harvey when it was once more just himself and her, and waited for him to speak.

Harvey's mind was a hazy blur as he meditated on her question. She had a way of humbling him, of asking the one question he couldn't answer. She challenged him in a way that wasn't threatening, and it brought joy to an otherwise dull and boring lifestyle.

The way she moved brought thoughts to his mind that terrified him. Her silence only made him beg for more. Everyone in his life forced him to brace for a reaction that only made him feel worse, but she was just there, in the moment with him. It was almost annoying how much she cared about him, since he had never been taught how to care for himself.

And then, of course, the way he wanted her to kiss him.

It went slower in his mind, likely thanks to the alcohol-induced haze. She raised her hand as if she were going to touch his face, as if she were going to kiss him. It only made sense, didn't it? Or did she have him believing in false realities?

It was the only time he leaned into her after a night of forcing himself away from the only thing he instinctively needed. The slightest look of betrayal flashed in his eyes as she withdrew, but it was replaced instantly with that steely gaze, walls up once again. He cleared his throat, realizing just how close they'd gotten, stepping back. His head hung and he crossed his arms defensively as he turned away. Was it all in his head?

Then she used his name again. He felt a physical stirring in his chest, as if a second stab to the heart. He could only offer a wounded nod, giving her a few moments of a head start before walking back himself--he didn't want to seem too suspicious.

But he couldn't help watching her leave, watching her stand further from him in the group. His gaze kept landing on her like a magnet, distracting him from his thoughts, and he hoped to God that the other doctors had taken his overly-icy demeanor at face value. Had she really believed his words, or was she playing hard to get?

"Goodnight, Davis." His tone was rigid, sad but righteous. His walls were back up, and he had to erase tonight from his memory.

With the trauma of the night, he almost could. He had been brought almost to tears by the intensity of the experiments and had no one to blame but himself--he had asked for each and every one to be done, and they were designed by him. He wanted to suffer for the sake of medicine.

And he was sure it showed when he trudged down to breakfast not six hours later, paler than pale, his normally well-kept hair a fluffy mess. His features were dark and sleep-deprived, eyes red.

They gathered, but one was missing: his was missing.

"Where's Davis?" Ethan asked inquisitively. Considering that he'd been Harvey's advocate and had gotten no sleep either, he was certainly cheery.

"God knows," Harvey mumbled. Chad smirked.

"Rough night, Harvey?"

He glared at the stout blond. "Shut it, Chad. I feel like I slept on a damn park bench," he complained, running a hand through his unkempt hair. He lowered his gaze to the ground groggily. "I don't know where Davis is, and I don't care, either. If she wants to be in this program she can get her ass down here. If she doesn't she can go straight from here to wherever she came from."

Ethan glanced at Harvey in an amused fashion, then to Chad, but their gaze broke quickly to keep from laughing. The other applicant gazed coldly at all of them, though a pleased smirk hung on her face. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Right, itinerary. I don't know. Ethan is in charge until I get coffee in my system. Ethan?"

"I am?"

"Go on."

"Uh...uh...right...Breakfast, then each team goes to their respective set of lectures for the majority of the day. Late lunch at four with our group, then split into teams to discuss any findings that may apply to our cases. Dinner at six, social slash free time from six to twelve. Good?"

"Who knows, who cares. You three head in, I'll wait for Davis. But please, one of you bring me some kind of caffeine."

(This post really truly sucks and I am very very sorry xP)

She almost regretted the fact that she took her arm away, and wished she could rewind and instead put her hand on his face. However maybe it was right that she didn’t touch him again. Her chest still felt tight, in a way glad to be leaving, yet wanting to stay with him more than anything else. Would it be too hard, to be with a man like that?

The feelings that stirred within her were different. She wanted to go back and tell him what she was feeling, all of them. In time, maybe. Not yet though.

On her way back to her room, she stopped at whatever store they had within this quite exquisite hotel, and bought a bottle of fairly decent whiskey. Davis just hoped that she wouldn’t run into anyone else she knew on her way back to her room to drink the bottle.

--

That morning she didn’t care much more than to throw her hair into a messy sort-of bun, and do a minimal amount of makeup. The hangover-headache that was pounding in her head made her a touch more than irritable, and she hoped that today would be fairly easy. Of course, she looked nice, dressing business casual as any conference would call for, but put a pair of dark sunglasses over her eyes, and headed downstairs to meet Harvey.

By way of the coffee cart and also being a decent human being and grabbing whatever coffee Harvey liked, she met him where he was standing, looking just about the same as she did. “Rough night?” She asked, setting the coffee in front of him with a bit of a thud, and taking a sip of her own.

Davis looked like something straight from a movie- one of those with a hangover that just pops out of bed and is sort of ready to go- but also wants, more than anything, to get back into bed and never get out again. She reached her hand into her bag and dug out some Tylenol, taking more than what she probably should, and downed them with a bit of the coffee.

“I see everyone else dispersed, so what’s the itinerary for today?” She asked, tucking a couple of things back into her bag.

Emilia of course saw the amusement upon Harvey’s face, and with how she could read him, she wondered if her and Ethan were the only two people in the world who could actually read when Mason Harvey had emotions. She had set her things on the table in front of her after popping the Tylenol and buried her head into her hands, the pounding headache still very much there. With a deep sigh though, she tried to make herself look more human, obviously not caring what she looked like in front of her boss.

The words that had come from Harvey’s lips made her internally cringe, and she blinked a few times, saying nothing. She immediately wondered if he meant it or not. If he really wanted her to or not.

“Well you already know, whatever you need, I’m there.” She told him, walking alongside to go and get a quick breakfast with him, grateful to have something to put into her mouth so that she wouldn’t have to come up with something to talk about.

---

As always, Emilia felt relaxed in his presence, pretty much forgetting about anything that had happened the night prior. The caffeine had helped, and she was finally able to put a smile upon her face before they had to go into the first set of lectures for the day. She was excited to hear the lectures, from her boss and the other doctors here today, though she noticed the little things about Harvey.

He always had his stress ball in his hand, perhaps squeezing it more often than he usually did. Maybe he just didn’t like presenting his research to other people too much, but over the years that she had watched him, that would be very unlike him. Emilia had finished writing a thought down in her notes, and returned to listening to whomever was droning on in their presentation about something rather uninteresting to her at this point in time. It didn’t apply to her case, nor either of her specialties, therefore she didn’t pay too much attention to it.

Her eyes had glanced over to Harvey though, who was excusing himself, just as Emilia’s phone chimed with a text. She fished out her phone, and the panic could be seen across her face and felt all across her body. Quickly, she set her notes down, trying not to draw attention to herself as she got up from her seat and went through the doors. She called the only other person who knew anything about Harvey’s condition as she tried to find him, Ethan.

Of course, it didn’t take her long, before she found the limp shell of a man, collapsed on the ground in front of her. Instinctively, she started helping him, as a doctor. But as a person, she felt absolutely, completely and utterly, helpless.

Ethan's voice was much calmer than his thoughts as he excused himself from the presentation he and Chad were in, all the way across the sprawling facility, some five miles. He pressed the phone to his ear and spoke in a gentle voice as he paced the outside hall of an identical conference room.

"Okay kid, you're gonna have to do this with my instruction because there isn't enough time for me to get to you. Let me know when you're with him."

It wasn't hard to discern when she had reached him, her inflection drastically different than it had been when her attention was only on him. "Eh, scratch that, just put me on speaker." He smiled to himself, thinking about the fact that he wasn't the only one who cared about Harvey anymore. It was refreshing and comforting to Ethan, who had been fairly convinced Harvey was going to die alone.

"Okay, this is what you're doing. You're just going to move his hands, then his arms, then his legs, and so on. It doesn't really matter what you start with, you're just helping him panic less about the fact that he's pretty much in a coma so he can go to sleep. Then you'll wake him up in about three minutes, that's all it really takes anymore. It's like reverse sleep paralysis," he chuckled, listening to her voice as it moved further and closer from the phone.

"You're a good doctor, you know that?" He listened casually as silence ensued, she was waiting for those minutes to pass. "I wouldn't be surprised if you end up on top at the end of this. He really admires you, he respects your work. If he didn't he wouldn't have texted you instead of me."

The minutes passed slowly and silence fell upon them until Ethan instructed her to wake Harvey up. He awoke slowly, the gentle rising and falling of his chest turning rushed and startled as he was brought back to life. He sat up, glanced gratefully at Davis, and looked in a very disoriented manner around the space. It was hard when that occurred to remember anything or have any wits about him, but he had recognized Davis as someone he trusted despite any disorientation.

"That never gets better, it's plain awful." He sat for a few more moments, remembering where he was and what he was doing there before getting up slowly. "Thanks, by the way. I couldn't exactly remember where you were when I first woke up, but that's normal. The good thing is that the mind doesn't remember, but the heart does. Thank God, if it didn't I may have started throwing punches, it's that bad."

He gave her a small smile, humor in his eyes. "But, really, thanks Davis."

With one small glance back at her, he once again slipped through the door and back to the panel, where he sat for the remainder of the talks, two more lengthy segments with very minimally important information regarding Tyson's case. Multiple times he felt himself drifting off to sleep, as was typical for him in a work day these days, but he caught himself each time, just barely. It wasn't unusual that he looked even worse by the late lunch break where they met the team. Well, Ethan and Chad.

Ethan pulled Harvey aside with an amused although troubled look on his face.

"Don't look now but your favorite ex-fling has made friends with your favorite applicant, that looks like trouble to me."

Harvey's gaze turned hostile and he swore harshly, allowing himself to feel anger without inhibition. His words were mainly insults directed at Kate, both creative and volatile. The entire meal he couldn't keep his mind or his eyes off of that table, where Valart was sitting with Kate's team. He was fuming, silently for the most part, halfway between making the biggest scene he could muster and just storming out. All of his plans were most unprofessional, but hadn't Kate brought it there?

Finally, he threw his tray down angrily, avoiding the gaze of all of them. He knew this is what she wanted, and he was playing right into her hands.

"I'm going for a run," he announced.

"You hate running."

"I'm going for a run." He glared at Ethan, who glanced to Chad and Davis amusedly.

"You know this is-"

"I know this is what she wants. Don't remind me."

Throwing his tray away, Harvey left hurriedly, leaving his lanyard on the table and his white coat hung on his chair.

It felt like agony waiting for Ethan to answer. Finally, he answered, immediately giving her instruction on what to do with Harvey. It was odd seeing him so lifeless in front of her, but she listened closely to what Ethan had to say and did just as she was told, partly as he was saying it and partly from what she remembered him doing from the night he collapsed before.

“Don’t compliment me if you’re just afraid I’m going to hurt your most favorite boss.” She started, slightly interrupting him before allowing Ethan to speak again as she continued to work on Harvey. But he continued, and it made Emilia stay silent. It was oddly hard for her to take a compliment, especially one that seemed as truly genuine as that one did. “Thank you, Ethan.” She said, quietly, sitting with Harvey until she was told to wake him up.

Finally, she could stir him. And he woke. She helped Harvey sit up against the wall, and she stroked his disheveled hair back into its appropriate position, her fingers trailing slightly down his face, a smile on her face as he spoke to her. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” She said, tucking another fallen strand of hair back into place again. “And you’re welcome.” She said, giving him a smile back, finally taking her hand away, though very reluctantly.

She was slightly disappointed that he slipped away from her and she also returned to her seat for the length of the talks for the day. There was minute information regarding her brother, and minimal other information that she found interesting. She very much hoped that the rest of the days would be much more interesting and give her good information regarding her brother, or Harvey, or both.

Emilia stayed next to Harvey at lunch and had a midday cocktail, which was not frowned upon by the looks of the drinks in all the other doctors hands that surrounded them.

As Ethan pulled Harvey aside she followed their gaze to the table where Valart was sitting and she could easily see the anger that was oozing out of Harvey’s pores. He looked like if there were a wall near him, he would punch it until his fists were bleeding, and that still may not be enough.

She overheard Harvey say that he was going for a run, which was strange, because who the hell runs in a suit? She furrowed her brows and gave a quick look to Ethan, hoping he would approve of her going after him.

“Why are you running away if this is exactly what she wants?” She called after him, after they were both far enough away from the crowd of people.